“I liked him too,” I said.
“No,” Blake said. “He really liked you. He told me one night he thought you might be the one. If things had been different.”
“Oh,” I said. My teeth dug deeper into my cheek.
Blake let out a small laugh. “I thought the same thing.”
Heat raced to my cheeks. I knew they were redder than a rose in the middle of spring.
Blake inched closer. I could feel his eyes were on me.
My heart was pounding.
What was happening?
Why was he doing this?
I was starting to panic. I couldn’t think straight.
“Dax and I were together,” I blurted out.
Blake froze. He blinked several times before taking a step back.
“You were together?” he asked. “What do you mean?”
“We were growing closer,” I said but he knew what I’d meant.
I wasn’t exactly sure why I felt like I had to confess. Perhaps it was a way to push him away. I didn’t want to think about anything but Maddie and getting to Polly.
Maybe it was because I’d seen Blake with his shirt off after sharing a room with Whitney. He was getting close to me inside the trailer and it made me nervous.
Whitney wanted to be with Blake. I wasn’t going to do anything to piss off Whitney, especially after everything she did to help me with Maddie.
“I see,” Blake said. He was moving away from me like I was one of the sick. I couldn’t blame him.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“Don’t be,” Blake said. “Why would you be sorry?”
I shook my head. My mouth dried. “You lost your brother.”
“We should get back out there,” Blake said. “They’re probably wondering what’s taking us so long.”
Blake gestured at the door. He turned ice cold in a matter of minutes all because of my confession. Things were going to be awkward and surely Jay and Whitney would notice.
As we walked back to the SUV, it took every last bit of energy I had not to break down and cry. It was like I’d stabbed Blake in an open wound. I didn’t know what the hell was wrong with me.
Blake drove faster. It was clear I’d upset him. He was angry but I couldn’t blame him.
I was the one at fault.
I should have kept my mouth shut.
Chapter Eighteen
No one said much in the car. Jay had asked a few questions but Blake wouldn’t answer him. I was the one that had to respond and I was pretty sure the last thing Blake wanted to hear was my voice.
Jay must have realized something was off because he stopped talking. It wasn’t like he was going to ask Blake what was going on.
I felt like crying but I’d made my choices so I couldn’t let the tears fall. I didn’t regret what happened between Dax and I. But maybe it had been too soon. I probably should have handled everything differently. I hadn’t been thinking clearly at the time.
My life was just a collection of bad choices. Wrong choices.
It was probably better that I’d come clean otherwise every time Blake got close to me, I would have felt uncomfortable. I would have panicked.
Why I felt that way when he was close to me, I didn’t quite understand. He was extremely good-looking but that wasn’t anything I hadn’t experienced before. For some reason, around Blake, I was different.
He made me nervous.
He made my palms sweat.
Things I hadn’t ever felt before but it was probably because he was so confident. Unafraid.
When he came over that first night to warn me about what was happening, he wasn’t afraid of Freddie. Other people backed down because they didn’t want to deal with him and Blake hadn’t. He’d instantly seen that Freddie was a creep.
It had genuinely seemed as though Blake had cared about me and he hadn’t known a thing about me. He wasn’t like anyone I’d ever known.
I sighed as I stared out of the side window. Coming clean had made me feel light but had it been worth it? It had only hurt Blake and he was honestly the last person in the world I ever wanted to hurt.
“Oww,” Maddie groaned from the backseat.
I almost gave myself whiplash as I turned to look at her over my shoulder. It was too soon for her to be in the car. She hadn’t been ready to get back on the road but we’d all already known that.
“Everything okay?” Whitney asked her as she leaned over the seat to touch Maddie’s forehead.
“I feel sick. The bouncing is making me feel like I’m going to throw up,” Maddie said.
Blake slowed the SUV.
“We need to find somewhere to stop,” Whitney said.
It felt strange to have her making choices for my daughter. I couldn’t say anything, though, because I didn’t disagree.
“I’ll find something,” Blake said.
It didn’t take him long. Less than thirty minutes according to the numbers on the dash clock… numbers that maybe weren’t even accurate.
Blake and Jay cleared the house while Whitney and I waited in the car with Maddie. She’d fallen back asleep almost a minute after the SUV was in park.
They came back to the car and Blake grabbed a few things out of the back. Whitney and I stood there on the yard while Jay helped Maddie out of the back.
He moved quickly, carrying Maddie to the house with ease. Blake walked through the house, checking all the locks before joining us in the dark living room.
Blake pulled a chair up to the window. He stared out between a small opening between the curtains while he switched his gun from hand to hand.
Jay opened a small bag of chips and started munching loudly on the crunchy chips. It wasn’t until he stopped eating that I could hear them outside.
Their cries for help chilled me to the bone. I shivered at what felt like ice water moving slowly through my veins.
If Maddie hadn’t fallen back asleep after taking her medicine, she would have been clinging to me. She would have been terrified of the sick.
Maybe what I needed was to take some medicine myself. I wanted to drown out their voices begging for us to save them.
The sick didn’t come up to the house. Blake never saw any of them out in the shadows but since we could hear them, we knew they were out there. What we didn’t know was how close to the house they were.
Maddie and I moved to a bedroom in the back but I could still hear them. Their voices were soft and sometimes they blended in with the crickets and the gentle breeze.
“Water?” Maddie asked.
“Okay,” I said patting her shoulder. “I’ll be right back.”
I quietly made my way into the living room to our small pile of supplies. It was good that there was light from the moon so I could find my way around the house a tiny bit easier than I would have been able to without it. Everything inside was a faint, pale blue shade.
I bent down and grabbed one of the bottles of water. When I stood, I saw Whitney and Blake at the window. I almost gasped in surprise but instead, I backed up into a shadow.
They hadn’t heard me come into the room because if they had, they would have pulled away from each other. They would have ended their kiss.
I stepped to the side behind the wall. It wasn’t until I took a few more steps that I noticed there was a dim light coming from under the bathroom door. Jay must have found a candle or he was using one of the small flashlights we’d taken from his house.
Blake and Whitney.
Good.
Whitney must have been ecstatic. Her dreams coming true even in an awful world.
I went back into the bedroom and helped Maddie take a drink. The squeak of the bathroom door surely carried to the living room. Would they stop when Jay went back? Maybe Jay had found his own bedroom to get some sleep.
Jay stopped in our doorway. His voice was soft. “You’re still up?”
“She needed water,” I whispered back.
“How’s she doing?”
; “I’m fine,” Maddie grumbled. “Just tired.”
Jay chuckled and flashed me a wave. “Get some rest.”
“You two,” I said with a smile.
“He’s right,” Maddie said. “You should get some rest.”
“You need it more than I do,” I said moving her hair away from her face.
Maddie turned to face me. “It’s the medicine that makes me tired. I’m actually feeling better.”
“That’s great,” I said looking into her glowing eyes.
“I can stay awake while you get some sleep,” Maddie said but her eyes were half-closed.
“I appreciate that,” I said. “You don’t need to do that. Blake is keeping watch. We’re fine.”
Were we, though? His eyes hadn’t been on our surroundings. Blake had been busy with other things.
I held out my arm and Maddie rolled into it. She hadn’t slept in my arm like that since she was a kid.
I tried to keep my eyes open for as long as I could but eventually, exhaustion took over.
When morning came, we couldn’t hear the sick. Blake looked out of every window but he couldn’t find any of the sick but still, we ran to the SUV.
We were back on the road but it was different. It was awful. The space between Blake and I couldn’t have been any more uncomfortable.
And the smile on Whitney’s face made my stomach swirl. I couldn’t wait until we got to Maine. I couldn’t wait to get out of the SUV for good.
Chapter Nineteen
We made good time. The cities and towns flew by and the amount of uncomfortable-ness inside the SUV increased. Nonetheless, it was the first time I actually thought that maybe we’d make it to Maine.
I still couldn’t believe I’d seen Blake and Whitney kissing. No matter how much I wanted it to be a dream, I knew it hadn’t been.
It shouldn’t have even been on my mind. What did it matter to me? I sighed and hugged myself.
The last time we’d stopped for gas, we must have gotten a fair amount because the gas gauge showed just under half a tank remaining. Of course, we’d stop when Blake wanted to. Gas wasn’t something you could ever have enough of.
Maddie was doing better. She sat up more often but any time she took medicine, it wasn’t long after she’d lay down again. Slowly she was becoming herself thanks to the medication and care from Whitney.
It was around midday when I couldn’t stand wearing the mask any longer. I ripped it off, wincing as if it had become a second skin.
I looked back over my shoulder at Jay. He looked apprehensive but he took off his mask.
“We need to make a quick stop,” Blake said just before dinnertime. “Gas. Eat something.”
He really hated me, thanks to my confession to him about Dax. I still wasn’t entirely sure why I thought he should know. Now, he was going to use as few words as possible to communicate with me.
I didn’t ask any questions. The only thing we needed was to make it to Maine. Then Blake and Whitney could go on with their lives and not worry about someone like me.
There was a house about a mile up the street on the outskirts of a small town. Tall trees were scattered about the yard and tiny shrubs lined the driveway.
Blake slowed as he approached the ranch-style house. His eyes scanned the yard before he turned down the driveway toward the parked minivan.
He pulled the SUV up next to the minivan and roughly shifted into park. Blake grabbed his gun out of the cup holder and shot a look at Jay.
“Come with me,” he said. “The rest of you stay here.”
“Where are we?” Maddie asked pushing herself up into a seated position. “I’m hungry. I’m thirsty.”
“I think that’s why we’re stopping,” Whitney said.
Blake slammed the SUV door after he stepped out. They walked toward the house with their guns in hand.
“He’s in such a bad mood,” Whitney said.
“Why?” Maddie asked.
“I’m not exactly sure. He seemed okay last night,” Whitney said waving her hand. “I’ll find out later. Maybe he’s just worried we won’t find enough water or something.”
Maddie yawned and tried to stretch out her legs. “How much longer until we get to Maine?”
“I’m not sure,” I said. “Haven’t seen any signs in a while. Not many when we’re on country roads.”
“Make a guess,” Maddie said. “I’m not sure I’m going to make it much longer.”
My eyes widened.
“No, I’m feeling better,” Maddie said with a smile. “I just don’t know how much more I can take of being cramped up back here.”
“A day or so,” I said. “But that’s a complete guess.”
“Probably a good guess,” Whitney said. “Blake said something similar last night.”
I cocked my head to the side. “Is that right? What else did he have to say?”
Could she sense the sourness to my words?
“Not much,” Whitney said seemingly oblivious. “I asked what we were going to do after Maine.”
“What did he say to that?” I asked.
“My, my aren’t you nosy?” Whitney grinned with a raised eyebrow.
I half-shrugged and turned away from her. “Was just curious since some of the supplies in the back of this SUV are mine.”
“You’re worried about your supplies?” Whitney asked skeptically.
“Yes,” I replied deadpan.
“Why would you worry about that?” Whitney asked sharply. “From what it sounds like, there will be more than enough supplies at the base your sister is supposedly staying.”
Maddie took in a quick breath. “You don’t think she’ll be there?”
“Oh,” Whitney said giving Maddie a much softer expression. “I hope so but who knows. It’s a shitty world. Maybe what that guy at the outpost had told us was true. Try not to get your hopes up.”
“My hopes are perfectly reasonable,” Maddie said straightening her back. “I hope she’ll be there.”
Whitney’s shoulders rounded as she turned away. “Of course, we all hope that.”
Blake and Jay were making their way back to the SUV. They walked five feet away from each other and clearly, they weren’t talking to one another.
Blake whistled sharply and waved for us to exit the SUV. Whitney smiled at him even though he probably couldn’t see her through the tinted windows.
“Looks like the coast is clear,” Whitney said in a chipper voice. She was like a little bird as she opened her door and hopped over to Blake.
“She’s got it bad,” Maddie said.
“Tell me about it,” I groaned.
“It’s weird,” Maddie said. “I thought he had the hots for you.”
I cleared my throat. “That’s ridiculous. Need help getting out?”
“No, I can manage,” Maddie said. “I think we can cut back on the sedatives.”
“I’ll talk to Whitney about it,” I said tucking my mask into my back pocket after closing the passenger side door. “You need to keep taking the antibiotics, though.”
“I know,” Maddie said grabbing onto my arm.
I looked down at her legs. “Sure, you’re okay?”
“Positive, they just get pins and needles from sitting back there too long,” Maddie said.
“You’d tell me if it was something more, right?”
Maddie rolled her eyes. She really was almost back to her old self. “Of course, I would, mom.”
“Jay’s going to help me siphon the gas,” Blake said with his hands on his hips. “You three go inside and see what you can gather up for supplies. Our number one priority at this time is water.”
Blake was all business. He was apparently comfortable with ordering us around and we were seemingly okay with obeying.
We apprehensively walked into the house through the front door. The knob was a bit wobbly and it seemed as though the door didn’t quite fit in the frame as it should have. Perhaps a little bit of force had been used for Blake
and Jay to get inside.
The living room was small with a fluffy pale blue sofa opposite the big screen TV that had been hung on the wall. There was an over-filled bookshelf and a dead plant hanging from a hook in the ceiling.
The dining room was part of the kitchen and there was a long hallway with five doorways alternating from side to side. Whitney started opening the white painted cabinets and Maddie opened the fridge.
“Gross,” she said covering her nose. “Someone didn’t like to throw out their leftovers.”
“Close the door,” Whitney said scrunching up her nose. “That is awful.”
Whitney stopped looking in the cupboards. Each one she’d looked in, she’d left the door hanging open.
“There is so much food here,” Whitney said.
“I guess no one came around this way to snatch up what was left,” I said with a shrug.
“Lucky us,” Whitney said. “We don’t even have room for all this.”
I stood next to her and looked at the cupboards. “It’s all so neatly organized.”
“Found the water!” Maddie shouted with a little squeal.
She was standing inside a large pantry, grinning wildly. There were shelves of water, so much water — several cases of bottles still wrapped in plastic, gallon jugs of filtered water, and even the big kind for water dispensers.
“Even more food in here,” I said. “Crazy.”
“Maybe we should just stay here,” Whitney said.
My shoulders tensed as I turned toward her. I took in a sharp breath that painfully squeezed my lungs.
“I mean, after we check the base for Polly,” Whitney said. Of course, I knew it was bull shit… that hadn’t been at all what she’d meant.
“Right,” I said.
Whitney cleared her throat. “I wonder if Blake wants us to bring the water out now or if we’re supposed to worry about it later.”
“I’ll go ask him,” Maddie said.
“No, no, I can do it,” Whitney said placing her hand on Maddie’s shoulder.
“It’s okay, Whitney,” Maddie said. “Moving around helps me to feel better.”
Whitney studied her a bit and then nodded. “If it’s fine with your mom, then it’s fine with me.”
What Remains Series (Book 3): Infected Page 9