by Willow Rose
“Don’t you get in trouble?” Violet asked.
“Yes,” the father answered, while smoking his pipe. “But they need to be shaken up a little every now and then, don’t you think?”
Violet liked that. All she knew was the nuns and all their rules and punishment. And her own father had been like that too. Everything had to be done in the right way. But what if someone did things differently? What if there was another way?
“It’s getting late,” Father Allen said.
“Time for bed.”
Violet kissed him on the cheek as usual, then walked to the kitchen where she checked on the dough for the bread she wanted to bake in the morning. Then she walked downstairs and took off her dress to get ready for bed.
She sensed his presence before she saw him. If it was the strong smell of vanilla and tobacco or if it was his heavy breathing that gave him away, she never knew. She felt his hand on her shoulder and closed her eyes. A shiver went through her body from his touch.
“You’re so beautiful,” he moaned in her ear, while pressing her down on the bed.
76
July 2015
We had agreed to meet at a pub outside of town at eight. I was the first to arrive and sat at the bar. I ordered a pint of Guinness, mostly to fit into the crowd, but also a little to calm me down. I was nervous beyond compare. And a little angry at Morten still. I needed a drink.
The bartender served me my beer and I sipped it, while watching the front door. A man came in, and for a few seconds, I thought it was Mike_37, but a girl accompanied him. They went inside and sat down at a table. They were already holding hands when they ordered. She was giggling at his jokes, and soon after they were involved in a deep conversation.
The display made me miss Morten like crazy. I missed the old days when we had just fallen in love with one another. Back when there was no Jytte on drugs and when he had loved me and desired my body. What had happened to us? I knew I had gained like forty pounds since then. Okay then, maybe closer to fifty, but still. Was it really that bad? I knew I wasn’t a ballerina to begin with, but so did he. He knew I was a big girl who liked to eat. I kind of thought he liked that about me. He used to say he never cared for skinny girls, that he enjoyed having a real woman with real curves. And I believed him.
I never thought there could be too many curves for him. I knew I thought I was too fat, but I thought it never mattered to him. Had he just been waiting for me to lose weight? And now that I hadn’t, was he disappointed? Repulsed even? Had it all been just an act?
I couldn’t believe it.
If he had lied to me about this, then what else? What else had he said just to please me or at least not hurt me?
“Emily?”
The voice came from behind me. I turned and stared into the eyes of Mike_37. I recognized him from his profile picture.
Damn it! The bastard actually used his real photo!
Mike_37 looked at me suspiciously. “The waiter at the door told me you were Emily, but…”
I chuckled. “I know. It was an old photo,” I said.
“Alright.” He smiled awkwardly.
The waiter came up behind me. “Your table is ready.”
I looked at Mike_37. He had nice eyes. It was hard to believe he was a cold-blooded murderer. But it was always the ones we least expect, right?
“Shall we?” I asked.
“Eh? Sure. Yes. After you,” he said.
I slid down from the barstool and walked after the waiter to our booth. I could feel Mike_37’s eyes on my body. I sat down, feeling very insecure about myself. I laughed. It came out so awkward that I wanted to hide under the table.
Mike_37 sat down across from me. He forced a smile.
“So…you’re Emily. And you’re just in town for today?” he asked.
It sounded like he hoped I would leave right now.
“Yes,” I said and drank some more of my beer. I was glad I had gotten it before we sat down. I needed it now more than ever.
We ordered more to drink. I asked for another beer.
“So…Emily. You looked very different in your picture. When did you…” he stopped himself, realizing he was about go where it could get really embarrassing.
I blushed. I didn’t like the look in his eyes.
What do you care? He’s a killer! You’re here to nail him for what he did to Fiona Delaney and Bridget Callaghan.
“When did you arrive in town?” he asked.
Nice save.
“A few days ago. I’m going back to Denmark tomorrow. But I must say, it’s been quite the crazy time.”
“It has?”
“Yeah. With all those women being killed, huh?”
I had to try.
“Ah, that. Yeah, I heard about it. Mostly on TV. I’ve been out of town all week, so I didn’t really experience it.”
“You were out of town?”
“Yes. I visited my son in London. His mother moved two years ago, and I only get to see him a few times a year. Here. I have pictures.”
Mike_37 pulled out his phone. He scrolled through his wall on Facebook and handed the phone to me. “Here they are. Isn’t he beautiful? Turned seven last Sunday. That’s why I went. To be with him on his birthday, and then I stayed for the week.”
I stared at the phone and the pictures of Mike_37 and the young boy standing in the middle of London with the double-decker-buses and everything. Then I looked at the date of the photo. It was the same day Bridget Callaghan had been killed. The next photo was of him and his son visiting the Royal Palace two days later, on the day that Fiona was killed.
I couldn’t believe my eyes. The man had really been away when the women were killed. It couldn’t be him.
77
July 2015
We actually ended up having a nice time. I decided to make the best of it anyway. I had the fish and chips, as usual, and he had a steak. He was dull by nature, but every now and then, he had his moments. I really felt like we were hitting it off. He laughed at all of my jokes and I chuckled in a friendly manner at his, even though they were quite bad.
It was everything a first date should be.
Halfway through my dinner, I had to go to the restroom. I asked him to excuse me, then went into the restroom. I greeted a woman standing in front of the mirror correcting her very short hair as I found a booth and sat down. I looked at my phone to see if Morten had texted me or called, but he hadn’t. It was like he didn’t even care anymore. What was happening to us? Why was I enjoying another man’s company so much? Why didn’t I just go back to the hotel and make up with the man I loved? Why didn’t he miss me?
I bet he’s watching another soccer game and has forgotten everything about you.
The thought made me growl. I flushed, then walked out to the sinks and washed my hands. I corrected my hair and walked out. I checked my phone one last time as I turned the corner into the restaurant, then put it back in my purse once I realized Morten hadn’t called or texted. I took in a deep breath and firmly decided to have a great time, when I approached the booth and realized it was empty. On the table, next to Mike_37’s food, was a ten-pound bill.
I felt like crying. I sat down heavily in the seat, then looked at the bill and his almost untouched food.
Was I really that appalling? Didn’t he even have the courtesy to tell me to my face that he wasn’t having a good time? Was it something I had said? Or was it simply my massive body that made him run away screaming?
“It’s not like you were a George Clooney yourself, buddy,” I mumbled.
I looked at the food, and not wanting it to go to waste, I started eating. I finished my own plate and then dug into his steak. It was quite the feast, but it didn’t make me feel any better. On the contrary. Once I was done, I felt awful. I also felt determined. It had to stop.
Once we get back to Denmark, I’ll start running again. I’ll stop eating carbs and lose fifty pounds.
“Is there room for dessert?”
> I looked up and into the sweetest eyes I knew.
“You came,” I said.
“I never let you out of my sight,” Morten said. “You thought I would let you go out with some killer and not keep an eye on you?”
I chuckled. “You got a point.”
“So, can I sit?” he asked.
“Please do,” I said. “The last guy that sat there was so dull he almost bored me to death. I think he ran out on me, though. Guess I wasn’t his type.”
Morten laughed and sat across from me. “You were just too much woman for him to handle,” he said. Morten grabbed my hand and held it for a little while. I liked the way he looked at me.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m sorry if I made you feel bad about yourself. You have to know that I love you just the way you are. I have ever since I first got to know you. It doesn’t matter what you look like. You got to believe me.”
It was exactly what I needed to hear. “Nah. I know I have become too big. I know I need to lose weight. I’m starting as soon as we get back. It’s also a health issue. I have to do something for my own sake.”
Morten smiled. “But not until after dessert.”
I laughed as he called the waiter to our table. We ordered ice cream and sat in silence, holding hands, while waiting for it to arrive. I don’t think I had ever loved him more than in that moment. I was so relieved I had him in my life. I never ever wanted to start dating again.
“I gotta say. From the first time I saw you, I knew you were the one,” a voice said from the booth behind me. It was a female voice. Morten heard what she said as well, and we both smiled.
“Aw,” I whispered. “That’s so sweet.”
“Your lips are the color of the roses that grow down by the river all bloody and wild,” she continued.
I had just taken a sip of my beer and now I was choking on it. Morten looked at me. I coughed, then grabbed his hand.
“That’s what Victor said!”
“What are you talking about?”
“The song,” I whispered. “It’s the first verse form the song. Where the Wild Roses Grow.”
78
July 2015
Gael couldn’t believe her luck. The woman was really into her. During dinner, she kept telling her how she knew she was the one for her, that her lips were red like roses. Then she told her she was going to take her somewhere special after they were done eating.
Now they were sitting in her car on their way there. Gael was driving, since she had the least to drink during dinner. Gael had butterflies in her stomach. She had never been this in love. Not since Fiona in sixth grade. She had never dared to really let herself fall in love. She had had a lot of loose relationships and women she saw only in the middle of the night or picked up at some bar in Dublin just to spend the night with. But never anyone who wanted to be seen with her in broad daylight, no one who dared to let people know who and what they were.
Could it really be that they could be in love and still be out in the open?
She didn’t dare to believe it. Still, she felt herself letting her guard down by the minute now. She was falling hard for this woman. It was a feeling that terrified her to the core.
Gael was very excited to see where the woman was taking them. She had told her it was a very special place. It was her favorite place in the whole wide world. Gael realized this might just be a trick she pulled on all women she dated. She wasn’t that stupid. Still, she got the feeling that this woman hadn’t been with many others. In the car, Gael had leaned over to kiss her before they drove off from the restaurant, and she had seemed nervous, hesitant. Still, the kiss had been sweet and blissful.
“Turn right here,” the woman sang.
Even her voice was so graceful.
Gael did as she was told, and now they were getting closer to Enniskerry. She didn’t like that. Gael didn’t feel like going back into the town with this woman. She was nervous. What would people say? She knew the woman was from Enniskerry as well, but had asked that they find a restaurant outside of town to avoid staring eyes. She knew how fast rumors travelled, and it would reach her mother before dawn. Not that her mother didn’t know what she was, but she didn’t have to rub it in her face. She wasn’t well to begin with. She had enough on her plate. There was no need to make it worse for her.
“We’re not going back to Enniskerry, are we?” Gael asked, slightly worried.
The woman put a hand on her thigh. Gael blushed at her warm touch. “We have to go back at some point. But, no. We’re not going back just yet.”
Gael sighed, relieved. “Good. I just really want this to go well and not be disturbed by all those staring people.”
“And you’re afraid of what they might say. I understand; I really do,” the woman said.
“It’s just so hard to have a good time, if you know what I mean. I can’t really relax.”
The woman smiled. “I’ll help you relax. Don’t you worry about that. Stop over by the tree right there.”
Gael stopped the car. “Here? There is nothing here. Just trees and the forest. What are we doing here?”
The woman grabbed Gael’s face between her hands. She looked deep into her eyes, before she kissed her again. Gael kissed her back and closed her eyes. She let go of all the worry and anxiety she had felt before this date; she let go of her defenses that she had built up over the years.
“Just trust me, will you?” the woman said. “You’re going to love this place. I know you will.”
79
July 2015
“Could you explain to me again why we’re following these people?”
Morten stopped behind the blue car for a red light. In the car in front of us sat the two women from the pub. I didn’t let them out of my sight for even a second.
“I don’t know,” I said. “I mean, I do. But it’s hard to explain without sounding like I’m insane.”
“Try anyway,” he said, as the red turned green and the car in front of us drove off.
“Don’t lose them,” I said. “Go.”
“I’m going as fast as I can. You do realize we’re following two women, right? I thought our killer was a man.”
“So did I, until I heard her say the words from the song. They were the exact words, Morten. It can’t be a coincidence.”
Morten frowned. “But Bridget Callaghan dated a man, remember? She was on a date with a man; they were seen at a restaurant. So was Fiona Delaney. I don’t get it.”
“I don’t get the details either,” I said. “I just know that she quoted the song and that Victor made me aware of those exact lines from the song when I spoke to him. If anything, I have learned to listen to my son.”
“They’re slowing down,” Morten said. “They’re stopping.”
“Out here?” I said, and looked out into the darkness where I could see nothing but trees. “In the middle of nowhere? I was so sure they were going to Enniskerry.”
“What do I do?” Morten asked. “If I stop too, they’ll know we’re following them.”
“Go past them. Just drive past them.”
Morten went around their car and I looked out the window just as the two women stepped out. In the short second we passed them, I looked into the eyes of one of them and recognized her as the woman I had seen in the restroom at the pub. She was very masculine in her movements, her short hair and manly clothes.
I looked at Morten. “What if she simply dressed like a man?” I asked. “When she went on the dates and killed. What if people just thought she was a man?”
Morten nodded. “That could be an explanation. It’s hard to hide, though. Especially when you come up close, like on a date.”
“But not impossible,” I said.
“No. So, what do you want to do next?”
I looked in the rearview mirror. I couldn’t see the two women or the car anymore. It was too dark.
“We have to go back somehow. Without them noticing it. I have a feeling our killer is getting rea
dy for her next victim.”
Morten turned the car around, then drove back.
“Turn off the lights when we get closer,” I said. “I don’t want to reveal ourselves.”
Morten did as I told him, then drove slowly back to where the two women had parked the car and gotten out. As we approached the car, I realized they were no longer there.
“They must have gone into the forest,” I said.
Morten looked at me and parked the car on the side of the road. “Maybe we should call the police. We really don’t have any jurisdiction here.”
I chuckled. “Always playing by the rules, huh? You must have been so boring to play with as a child.”
“Hey!” he said, offended. “I’ll let you know, I was a lot of fun.”
“Yeah? What did you do if someone cheated in Monopoly?”
“…put them in jail…in my parent’s basement…then called their parents.”
I looked at him. “I rest my case. Now let’s go after them before someone gets hurt.”
80
August 1978
Violet wasn’t feeling well. It had been going on for several weeks now and it was scaring her senseless. Why? Because she had been through this before. She had these exact symptoms before and knew what caused them.
She was pregnant again.
Not knowing what else to do, she tried to hide it from Father Allen. She was terrified of what he was going to do to her if she told him. Would he send her back to The Good Shepherd? Would he send her into the street? Would he resent her for getting herself in trouble again?
She didn’t dare to find out. So, she hid the symptoms from him and told him she had the flu. She was allowed to stay in bed for a few days, and after that, Father Allen had to go out of town. But once he got back and she was still throwing up several times a day, he started talking about getting Violet to see a doctor.