by Holly Rayner
After shopping, we spent the day wandering around some of Vegas’ classiest restaurants and casinos. We gambled. We drank. We ate. I couldn’t remember the last time I had so much fun.
I felt a bit guilty for thinking that. After all, shouldn’t anything I did with Jalaal pale in comparison to the time I spent with my son? But it felt a little more complicated than that. The time I spent with my son was for us. Me and my little guy, taking on the world together. But at the end of the day, I would always be looking after Sam. Jalaal looked after me.
I couldn’t remember the last time somebody took care of me. Not even I had taken care of me recently.
Soon, the sun’s journey across the sky reached its zenith and then continued on. I dreaded the night, because I figured I would have to leave Jalaal. I would be foolish to expect a two-night sleepover, even though he’d treated me like a queen all day.
Then he surprised me with two tickets to the newest Cirque du Soleil show. It was one the girls and I had thought about going to, but it had sold out months in advance. And, of course, they were the best seats in the house, too.
As the performers did their final bow, Jalaal revealed he had another surprise for me.
“Did you enjoy the show?” he asked.
My hands hurt from clapping. My face hurt from smiling. I couldn’t hope to quantify in words just how much I’d enjoyed the show, or the day in general. But I did my best.
“I loved it. The things the human body can do are incredible.” I grabbed his hand. “Thank you so much for bringing me here.”
Jalaal raised my hand to his lips and kissed it gently. Even after spending all night and all day with him, every time our skin touched I felt like somebody had tasered me, and I meant that in the best way possible.
“You’re more than welcome,” Jalaal said. “But we’re not done yet.”
“What?”
He grinned. “Don’t you want to go to the after-party?”
I gaped. “After-party? You mean with the performers and stuff?”
“A few celebrities generally show up as well,” he said, shrugging. A tiny smirk was the only indication he knew exactly how crazy that all sounded.
“Yes, I want to go to the after-party!” I declared. “This is amazing. I’m so lucky.”
Jalaal ran his hand along my cheek. I stared into the depths of his eyes, which were so dark they were almost black.
A girl could get lost in those eyes.
Who was I kidding? I was already lost in them.
“I’m the one who is lucky,” Jalaal murmured. “I’m so lucky to have met you, Skyler.”
Time might as well have stopped. I blocked out the hustle and bustle of the theater around me, the chatter, the lights, the music in the background. For one perfect second, there was nobody else. Just us.
But the sights and sounds came back, as did the realization that it wasn’t just us. Not in this theater, not in this life. I had a son, and I still had no idea how to tell Jalaal that. Did I have to? This was just a crazy weekend in Vegas, right? I didn’t need to toss all my cards on the table for Jalaal to rummage through at his leisure; nor did I need to sort through his.
Jalaal, unaware of the dialogue running through my mind, led me out of the theater and down the hall. We passed some hefty looking security guards and entered a conference room. Or what was usually a conference hall, at least. Tonight it was where the party was.
String lights in shades of gold and silver hung in random rows from the ceiling. People were already milling about under the effusive glow of the lights. Some were dancing, some were chatting, but all were drinking.
Jalaal took me around the room and introduced me to a score of people, including a few actors and musicians. I recognized a couple of them, and had to force myself to act calm around one in particular. And, the more people I was introduced to, the worse I felt about not telling Jalaal about my son. Now, more people knew me as just Skyler, the nurse from San Diego. Nobody knew about Sam.
Jalaal had been upfront about who he was. Some would argue that introducing yourself as a fabulously wealthy sheikh was different than introducing yourself as a dirt-poor single mom. But I wasn’t ashamed of Sam. I was never ashamed of Sam.
So why not say anything?
I could tell myself it was because I wouldn’t know him much longer, but that would be a lie. I whipped out pictures of Sam to show to people I talked to on the bus sometimes. I was damn proud of him.
But I was afraid.
If Jalaal knew about Sam, would he still want me? Or would it ruin whatever fantasy he’d constructed in his head that made him want me in the first place?
“Everything okay?” Jalaal asked as I stared into my glass of champagne.
I blinked up at him. “Fine.” With a smile, I added, “Just thinking about going back to work and how much that’s going to suck.”
“There’s a simple solution to that.” Jalaal took the glass from my hand and placed it on the tray of a passing waiter. I didn’t mind, since I knew all I had to do to get another was put my empty hand in the air and wait for it to be filled. He pulled me over to the dance floor and wrapped his arm around my waist. His other hand clasped mine and held it level with my shoulder.
“What’s your simple solution?” I asked, giggling. Being in his arms was making me feel giddy.
Jalaal’s smile lit a fire deep in my belly. “Quit. Stay in Las Vegas forever. Every day could be like this.” He screwed up his nose. “Well, not every day. That would get boring and I do have work I have to do. But lots of days.”
My mouth went dry at the thought of it. I couldn’t tell if he was being serious or not. I wasn’t sure if he could, either.
If I didn’t have Sam, could this be an offer I would accept? It was crazy, right? Like something out of a Disney movie. But, then again, this whole weekend had been cut straight from the reel of a rags-to-riches fantasy. And, so far, nothing had turned back into a pumpkin.
“And what would I do with my time?” I asked. “With no job, I think I’d get bored pretty quickly.”
Jalaal spun me in a boisterous circle. I landed back against his chest, splaying my hand out over his hard pec. We giggled at that. We were both a little drunk.
“Whatever you wanted to do,” he reasoned. “Shop. Swim. Volunteer. When you’re a beautiful pearl, the world is your oyster.”
“So cheesy!” I chastised. “Do lines like that actually work?”
Jalaal fixed me with a cheeky grin. “I don’t know,” he purred. “Let me check.”
He lowered his lips to mine and I was lost. My legs quivered beneath me, and I sent more of my weight forward into Jalaal’s chest. He held me, swaying to the slow, silken beat. Our lips meshed together, moving in perfect harmony. I sighed into his mouth, so content with my life in this alternate reality.
I just wished there was room for Jalaal in my real life. I wished I didn’t have to give him up tomorrow. But I did.
My real life wasn’t glamorous parties and swoon-worthy kisses. It was laundry, bodily fluids, and bedtime stories. I tried not to think about it—not to let the realization that it couldn’t last influence my enjoyment of the here and now.
That was the attitude I channeled when Jalaal asked if I wanted to go to an after-after-party at one of the more exclusive, high-roller casinos. Even though I felt like a fish out of water among the filthy rich party denizens, I knew I would have fun. I had fun everywhere I went with Jalaal.
The first big win of the night was at the craps table. After buying in, Jalaal handed me a blue chip.
“What’s this?” I asked.
He grinned. “Hang on to it.”
“Why?” I stared at him, puzzled.
“You’re my good luck charm,” he explained. “Call me superstitious if you’d like, but I think I’ll be luckier if you hold my chip.”
I shrugged and tucked it into my bra. Jalaal watched with hungry eyes.
“What?” I said, grinning. “This dress
doesn’t have pockets.”
He laughed and slung an arm around my waist, pulling me tightly against him as he rolled the dice.
It didn’t surprise me at all that he won big.
But nobody in that casino—not even the casino itself—won bigger than me that night, because I got to go home with Jalaal Afsal and make love to him on a bed of ebony silk, thousands of feet in the air.
Chapter 9
The gravity of my situation hit me like a falling brick come Sunday morning.
After the second-best sleep of my life—rivalled only by our first night together—I woke up in Jalaal’s powerful arms. The sun played with the lines of his face, casting shadows over his cheeks that made him look like a painting. I watched him sleep a little longer, unsure how to broach the topic of my departure.
I had a flight that afternoon. I would have to leave sometime in the next hour. It was a surprise my phone wasn’t ringing off the hook already, my friends calling to see where I was. I wouldn’t have blamed them.
But what if I told Jalaal I was leaving and he asked me to stay? I would have to tell him I couldn’t—and I would have to tell him why. I didn’t have an excuse for why we couldn’t see each other again. Nor would I be able to think of one. But I couldn’t give him my phone number either. I would need to tell him about Sam if I did, and I didn’t want to ruin this perfect weekend with the foul taste of rejection on my tongue.
I was in a pickle. I’d put off telling him for too long, and now there was no going back.
Jalaal groaned and turned onto his side, folding me underneath him.
“Hey!” I squawked in protest. “You’re squishing me.”
Jalaal’s laugh vibrated through me, sending heat to my belly. He pulled back so he was still draped atop me but no longer resting his weight on me.
“It’s not my fault you’re so breakable,” he argued.
“Breakable? Pfft.” I smacked his arm lightly. “It’s not my fault you’re twice my size. Why do you have to be so tall?”
He pressed a kiss to the side of my face. “What would it take to make you happy, woman? I’m very attached to my feet, but I’ll cut them off if that’s what it would take.”
I laughed and pushed at his chest. “I’ll believe that when I see it.”
He growled playfully and nipped at my earlobe. Then he rolled to the other side of the bed and grabbed his phone from the nightstand. After looking at it for a minute, he frowned.
“What is it?” I asked.
He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I forgot that I’m due to meet an important guest at one of my hotels across town. I’ll get somebody else to go. If they’re offended, too bad.”
After that clipped sentence, he rolled back over and took me in his arms.
“No!” I protested. “You should go.”
Jalaal’s dark eyes locked onto mine. “I don’t mind missing it. I’d rather stay with you.”
“I’d feel bad if you let me get in the way of your business,” I told him. “I’ll be fine. I’m a big girl.”
He poked me in the side. “I thought we just established that you are actually very small.”
I frowned. “You know what I mean.”
Jalaal nipped the end of my nose with his teeth, sending me into a flurry of giggles.
“Are you sure you wouldn’t mind?” he asked. “If you’d rather I cancel, just say the word.”
“I think you should go,” I insisted. “I would feel bad if you didn’t.”
Jalaal studied me for a moment as he deliberated. I tried to look as innocent as possible, and not like I was planning to jet out of there at the first available moment.
“Okay,” he said finally. “I’ll go. You’ll be here when I get back?”
“Totally,” I lied. “I’ll probably be really lazy and go back to sleep.”
I watched Jalaal dress, my dread evolving into full-blown panic. This was the last time I would ever see him. I felt horrible for lying to him, but I supposed it was par for the course. I’d already omitted that I had a child—it was a slippery slope from there.
Jalaal kissed me sweetly on the lips and told me to help myself to anything in the kitchen. I told him I would, if I could even find the kitchen again. He laughed, put on his shoes, and was gone.
I stayed in bed a moment longer than I’d intended to. I told myself it was because I was still a bit groggy, but really I was just trying to absorb as much of his scent as possible. I was going to miss him. I didn’t know him all that well, but I felt like we’d connected on a much deeper level than was the norm.
And it broke my heart.
It only took me a couple minutes to gather my things. I debated leaving the dress Jalaal had bought me the day before, but I figured he wouldn’t have a use for it anyway. That, and part of me felt like without a physical reminder of this weekend, I’d talk myself out of believing it had been real.
Half an hour later, I was back in my old hotel room at Caesar’s Palace.
The fantasy was officially over.
I thought about Jalaal the whole flight home. It wasn’t a long flight, but it still made for some pretty significant thinking time. I couldn’t help but wonder what things would be like if I were still with him. We’d probably be in first class. Maybe he’d even have his own plane. We’d be sipping champagne and holding hands, and there wouldn’t be any kids kicking relentlessly at the backs of our seats.
It seemed pointless to follow that thought process, but I did. I couldn’t stop it. I kept wondering if he’d found me gone yet. He must have. Did he care?
The longer I spent away from him, the more I tried to convince myself he didn’t. By the time I reached my apartment building, with its peeling facade and grimy call-board, I was having a full-blown fight with myself.
I kept wondering if I should have stayed in Vegas a little longer. After tasting the finest the world had to offer, my life as I knew it felt a little stale. I knew I wouldn’t always feel this way. The contrast was only so stark now because it was still so fresh.
Yet, for now, part of me felt like I’d cheated myself out of a good time based on guilt. Not even just a good time—the best time. A once-in-a-lifetime kind of happening that I was sure lots of women would have killed for.
But then I reminded myself that Jalaal probably had a weekend like that every weekend, just with a different woman. Las Vegas was a revolving door of fresh company. We had both gotten what we’d wanted out of our time together. It was pointless to keep thinking about it.
Except I still wanted more. Of him—only him. Not having to worry about money was nice. The luxury was fun. But really, it was Jalaal that I was missing.
I lugged my suitcase up to my apartment, wishing Sam’s smiling face would be there to greet me. He always made me feel better. He didn’t even have to try. Some days it felt like he just instinctively knew when something was on my mind and exactly what I needed to make me feel better.
I wondered what Sam would do if he were home now. He’d probably insist that I go right to bed. He hated bedtime, but he knew how much I loved it. He still didn’t understand why I didn’t need a story read to me before bed, but since he couldn’t read yet, he let it be.
I missed Sam, so much. I missed my dad too. They were coming home on Tuesday, which wasn’t too far away. I would probably be too busy at work to miss them too much. Maybe if I tried really hard, I could just sleep until I had to go to work tomorrow afternoon.
I pretended Sam was there with me, telling me to take care of myself. I was too tired to think of doing anything other than rolling into bed, so I left my suitcase by my bedroom door and crawled under the sheets. They smelled like home.
It shouldn’t have been so disappointing.
Chapter 10
At first I thought the ringing was my alarm. Then I realized I hadn’t set an alarm, so it must be somebody calling me. Thinking it was either my dad or Sam, I shot a hand out from under the covers and grabbed the phone off the
nightstand.
“Hello?” I asked groggily.
“Oh hey, girl!” a chipper voice greeted. “How’s it feel to be back home?”
I blinked, struggling to put a face to the voice. “Elyse?”
“Obviously,” she said. “I’m in the neighborhood and I have coffee. Can I come up?”
I didn’t exactly feel like entertaining, but it would be good to have a distraction so I wouldn’t think about Jalaal. Between missing him, missing Sam, and missing my dad, my heart was a big achy mess.
“Sure. Just buzz when you get here and I’ll let you in.”
“Okey-dokey. See you soon!”
“Bye.”
I hung up the phone and tossed it to the other side of the bed, groaning. A few days ago I’d have been thrilled to have Elyse stop by. I hadn’t seen much of her on the trip, for obvious reasons, so it would be nice to catch up. But her coming over was a bit like craving pizza and getting a hamburger instead. Still good, just not quite what I wanted.
My buzzer screamed at me a few minutes later. I buzzed Elyse in and then cleared off a spot at the table for us to sit. It was still covered in Sam’s crayons from before he and Dad left—my dad had never been great at cleaning up.
Elyse buzzed through my door, bringing with her the rich scent of coffee and a smile as big as Texas.
“Hey, sleepyhead.” She handed me one of the paper cups she held. “I’m glad you’re home. I missed you this weekend.”
A stone of guilt turned over in my stomach. “I’m sorry I totally bailed on the bachelorette weekend,” I said. “I hope Sarah wasn’t too upset.”
“Are you kidding?” Elyse said, beaming. “Your escapades were the highlight of the trip—and you haven’t even told us about them yet.”
That wasn’t strictly true. I’d told Sarah at the airport yesterday, but she wasn’t one to gossip.
Elyse, on the other hand, was.
“I don’t know what to tell you,” I said. “It was a crazy experience.”