Dork Diaries Book 9: Tales From a Not-So-Dorky Drama Queen

by Rachel Renée Russell

  “It’s the ONLY way we can stop her!” Chloe argued.

  “And the ONLY way you can protect YOURSELF from being expelled for cyberbullying!” Zoey reasoned.

  “ARE YOU BOTH INSANE?!” I screamed at my BFFs. “Sorry, but I can’t just turn over my DIARY to school officials. There’s way too much personal stuff in there!!”

  “Yes, I know it’s going to be a bit embarrassing, but it’s for the greater GOOD!” Zoey claimed.

  “Just do the responsible thing and protect students from the real cyberbully—MacKenzie!” Chloe exclaimed.

  “But what if it backfires and I get in TROUBLE for all the things I wrote about in my diary?!”

  “Come on, Nikki, how bad can it be?!” Zoey asked.

  “Well, I wrote that I thought Mr. Zimmerman was crazy!”

  “Yeah, Mr. Zimmerman is pretty wacky!” Zoey snickered. “But I’m sure he can take a little joke.”

  “And even if he gets mad at you, so what?” Chloe giggled.

  “And remember that time Principal Winston was eyeballing us at lunch and we started texting each other? I wrote all of that in my diary too! That Principal Winston would never believe we secretly hung out in the janitor’s closet. Which, according to our school handbook, is an unauthorized entry by a student and a three-day detention for each occurrence!”

  That’s when Chloe and Zoey stopped laughing. Their eyes got big as saucers.

  My BFFs suddenly looked kind of worried.

  “Actually, there’s more,” I continued. “I also wrote stuff about you guys. Chloe, you said we didn’t look like people who would make prank calls from the library phone! And, Zoey, you said we definitely didn’t look like students who would sneak into the boys’ locker room! I also mentioned how the three of us snuck out of the cafeteria without any passes. That’s at least FOUR school rules we’ve broken, some of them multiple times! But as long as you guys don’t mind Principal Winston reading all of that stuff, then FINE! I’ll report MacKenzie and turn in my diary as proof.”

  “OMG, Nikki! You wrote all the things WE did in your diary TOO?!” Zoey screeched.

  “SORRY!” I answered sheepishly.

  “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!” Chloe shrieked. “We’re looking at YEARS of detention! Our classmates will be seniors in high school and WE’LL still be in eighth grade, serving DETENTION! Do you have any idea how EMBARRASSING that is going to be?!”

  “Yeah, and isn’t there a rule that after an excessive number of detentions, they just give up on you and KICK you out of school?!” Zoey groaned.

  “Sorry, Nikki, but there’s NO WAY you can hand over your diary to Principal Winston!” Chloe ranted.

  “Totally BAD idea!” Zoey fumed.

  “Now, wait a minute! Let me get this straight,” I said, narrowing my eyes at my BFFs. “What about the greater good and being responsible? NOW you’re saying I CAN’T turn in my diary just because it has a pile of DIRT on you guys?!!”

  “EXACTLY!!” Chloe and Zoey answered, glaring at me.

  “I’m really disappointed in you two,” I complained. “What do you have to say for yourselves?!”

  “We’re DOOMED!!” Chloe moaned.

  “Our lives are SO over!” Zoey groaned.

  At least we were FINALLY in complete agreement: Seeking help from Principal Winston and Mr. Zimmerman was NOT an option.

  If they read my diary, there was a really good chance my BFFs and I could end up in as much trouble as MacKenzie!

  YIKES!! !!

  “Listen, guys, maybe we’re worrying for no reason,” I said. “As long as MacKenzie doesn’t make a move, we won’t need my diary, right? And by now she’s probably in Paris working on a report on the Eiffel Tower with her posh new friends from North Hampton Hills International Academy.”

  “Yeah, but didn’t she say something about you getting a surprise on Monday, April 28?! Well, that’s TODAY! And after stealing your diary and breaking into your website, she’s capable of ANYTHING!” Zoey said.

  Chloe tapped her chin, deep in thought. “Now, if I were a crazy, jealous, spoiled, high-strung, rich drama queen like MacKenzie, what would I do to get revenge?! Hmm . . . ?!”

  “Well, to be honest, I’ve been really worried that she somehow sabotaged my advice column before she left,” I explained. “But as soon as I found out what she’d done, I immediately changed my password so she couldn’t log in to my Miss Know-It-All account anymore. And this morning I deleted ALL of her letters and checked everything AGAIN since my advice column is scheduled to publish in the newspaper today during lunch. My new website has this cool auto-publish feature. I just place my advice letters in a special file and they’ll publish on a date in the future. But now that I think about it, I FORGOT to check that file.”

  Suddenly a little light bulb went off in my brain. That’s when I totally panicked, and shrieked . . .

  “Maybe THAT’S the surprise!” Zoey exclaimed. “What time does the newspaper publish today?”

  We all checked the time.

  “At 12:30 p.m.!” I said. “Which is in exactly . . .”

  “FIVE MINUTES?!!!!” we screamed in horror.

  Chloe, Zoey, and I scrambled for the door like we were on our way to a five-alarm fire.

  “I’m going to my locker to get my laptop so we can log on to Miss Know-It-All to search for MacKenzie’s letters,” I yelled over my shoulder. “Could you guys stop by the newspaper office and grab my red folder out of my mailbox? It has hard copies of her letters. Then I’ll meet you in the library.”

  “Okay. But hurry! PLEASE!” Zoey pleaded. “If MacKenzie’s letters publish in the school newspaper and you’re accused of cyberbullying and forced to hand over your DIARY to Principal Winston . . .”

  “WE’RE DEAD MEAT!!” Chloe muttered.

  It was actually a good thing MacKenzie transferred to a new school! Because if she hadn’t . . . I swear! SHE’D be dead meat! That’s just how ANGRY we were at her right then.

  MacKenzie had left a ticking TIME BOMB at our school in the form of her Miss Know-It-All responses.

  And now we had to find the bomb and defuse it before it EXPLODED!!

  !!

  TUESDAY, APRIL 29

  When I left off, my BFFs and I were totally SPAZZING OUT over MacKenzie’s letters.

  That girl has done a lot of HORRIBLE things, but THIS stunt was the WORST!

  Not only were her prank letters going to HURT a lot of innocent students, but there was a chance WE could end up EXPELLED from school! !!

  By the time we met back at the library, we had less than three minutes to find all MacKenzie’s letters and remove them before the newspaper published at 12:30 p.m.

  As Chloe and Zoey read over the printed copy of each letter and gave me details, I searched for it in my April 28 auto-publish file and quickly deleted it.

  We were so stressed out, we were sweating bullets. I was typing as fast as my little fingers would go. . . .

  ME AND MY BFFS, TRYING TO FIND AND DELETE MACKENZIE’S LETTERS BEFORE THEY PUBLISH IN THE NEWSPAPER!!

  The good news was that we’d finally made it down to the last TWO letters !! But the bad news was that we had less than thirty seconds to find and delete them !! The situation was HOPELESS!

  That’s when Chloe said, “Remember, Nikki! If you fail, Brandon and this entire school could be reading your diary next week! So stay focused!”

  “Thank you for reminding me, Chloe! But now I feel like throwing up!!” I muttered.

  Zoey did a countdown like she was mission control for a NASA rocket launch. “Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five. Four. Three. Two. One! And we have publication of Miss Know-It-All!”

  Then my BFFs waited anxiously for me to tell them the fate of those last two letters.

  I sighed and gave them my saddest puppy-dog eyes, and their faces fell in disappointment.

  It was so quiet, you could hear a pin drop.

  Then I screamed . . . “WE DID IT!!” and my BFFs went BANANAS!
!

  YES! Somehow we’d managed to delete all of MacKenzie’s letters seconds before the column posted! We were so happy, we did a group hug.

  I was SUPERsurprised when I got a text:

  “Chloe and Zoey just crashed the newspaper office and ran off with a folder from your mailbox. Is everything okay? BTW, does Chloe have BRACES?”

  It was from Brandon ! And since he was actually texting me for the first time in WEEKS, it appeared he wasn’t mad at me anymore. SQUEEEE !! I was still pretty ticked off at MacKenzie for torturing Chloe like that. So I replied:

  “Everything’s fine. And yes, Chloe has braces! But before MacKenzie left, she traumatized the poor girl by cruelly teasing her.”

  I was SUPERsurprised when minutes later Brandon rushed into the library with a photo. He said it was a little present for Chloe that he hoped would make her feel better. . . .

  CHLOE, FREAKING OUT OVER THE SIXTH-GRADE PHOTO THAT BRANDON FOUND OF MACKENZIE HOLLISTER

  OMG! Apparently, MacKenzie’s “perfect pearly whites” hadn’t always been SO, um, PERFECT!! . . .

  SIXTH-GRADE PHOTO OF MACKENZIE WITH BRACES?!!

  “Why would MacKenzie say all those nasty things about ME wearing braces, when she had them too?!” Chloe exclaimed. “Go figure!”

  “Probably because people who go out of their way to make others feel MISERABLE are SUPERinsecure and miserable THEMSELVES!” Zoey explained.

  Chloe and I agreed. Soon the bell rang, signaling that lunch was ending and classes would be starting in five minutes.

  We couldn’t resist gossiping about MacKenzie’s braces as we gathered up our stuff.

  “Um, Nikki, can we talk for a minute?” Brandon asked, and kind of blushed.

  I couldn’t believe that Chloe and Zoey were clowning around and making kissy faces behind Brandon’s back. They are SO immature!

  I was going to DIE of embarrassment if he turned around and caught them doing that!

  As soon as Chloe and Zoey left, Brandon pulled up a chair. But I was so nervous that I totally forgot to sit in a chair. Instead, I plopped my behind right on top of the table like an idiot and stared right into his beautiful brown eyes.

  Brandon nervously brushed his shaggy bangs out of his eyes and then gave me a big smile.

  Of course I blushed and smiled at him. Then he blushed and smiled back at me. All of this blushing and smiling went on, like, FOREVER!!

  “Actually, I just wanted to thank you for helping me out with that . . . um, banana peel situation yesterday. And I wanted to apologize for not accepting your . . . um, apology.”

  “Well, I owe YOU an apology for not accepting YOUR apology too!” I gushed, and batted my eyelashes at him all flirty-like.

  “I meant everything I said in my letter, Nikki.”

  “Really? Well, I’m really glad you wrote it. Even though it got stolen by a crazy drama queen and went missing for three days!” I blushed.

  “Anyway, I wanted to talk to you alone because I’m thinking about asking this very special girl to hang out with me. But after everything that has happened, I’m really worried that she might say no. What do you think?”

  Okay, that’s when I got REALLY ticked off and thought, WHY is this dude even bothering to talk to ME if he is CRUSHING on some OTHER girl?!

  Hey, what am I? Chopped liver?!

  And then he has the NERVE to ask ME for advice on his LOVE LIFE?! Like, WHO does that?!

  I couldn’t help wondering if the girl was MacKenzie. Brandon probably thought she was SUPERcool now that she went to that really fancy school.

  “Brandon, if she likes you, WHY would she say no?” I asked quietly.

  NOT that I really cared !!

  Then he brushed his bangs out of his eyes and shot me a megawatt smile. But, personally, I didn’t see what was so ding-dang funny.

  “So, Nikki, would you like to hang out after school on Wednesday?” he asked, staring right into the murky depths of my tortured soul.

  OMG! When he asked me that, I was SUPERshocked and surprised.

  And happy! SQUEEE !!!

  Of course I said YES! The whole thing was SO romantic!!

  That’s when I noticed my BFFs were standing right outside the door with their faces pressed against the window, shamelessly SPYING on Brandon and me. . . .

  BRANDON, ASKING ME TO HANG OUT WITH HIM (WHILE CHLOE AND ZOEY SHAMELESSLY SPY ON US) !!

  The good news is that it looks like Brandon and I are finally friends again.

  SQUEEEEEE !!

  And thanks to my BFFs, I managed to THWART yet another one of MacKenzie’s evil, twisted, diabolical plans!

  Even though MacKenzie has been gone for almost a week, she has somehow managed to create more DRAMA in my life than when she was physically present at WCD!

  Thank goodness everything worked out just fine with my BFFs, my CRUSH, and my advice column.

  Starting today, I plan to start living a happy, stress-free, drama-free, MACKENZIE-FREE life!

  !!

  WEDNESDAY, APRIL 30

  Losing a diary can be pretty TRAUMATIC!

  It almost feels like you’ve lost a piece of YOURSELF.

  Believe me, I know from experience.

  I really wanted to tell MacKenzie that I’d found MY HER diary when it accidentally fell out of her moving box that day she left.

  I also wanted to encourage her to get a diary of her own and to continue writing in it.

  Because sometimes a diary can help you vent frustration, face your fears, find your courage, embrace your dreams, and learn to love yourself.

  And it’s always better to rip into a page than another human being.

  But most important, I wanted to tell MacKenzie that I FORGIVE her for everything she’s done to me in the past few weeks.

  Because OMG! She’s WAAAAAAAAAAY more MESSED UP than I am !!

  I’m just SUPERhappy to have FINALLY gotten my DIARY back!

  SQUEEEEEE !!

  And I’m lucky to have the BEST FRIENDS ever!

  We’ll be hanging out after school today to celebrate our friendship.

  SQUEEEEE !!

  Sorry, MacKenzie!!

  In spite of your beauty, popularity, wealth, and killer wardrobe, I wouldn’t want to be you.

  Why?

  Because, um . . .

  I’m SUCH a DORK!!

  YAY ME!!

  !!

  What does MacKenzie have up her designer sleeves?

  And why is her FAVE lip gloss color Ready-for-Revenge Red?

  The saga continues! Don’t miss my next diary.

  Book 10

  COMING THIS FALL!

  Rachel Renée Russell is an attorney who prefers writing tween books to legal briefs. (Mainly because books are a lot more fun and pajamas and bunny slippers aren’t allowed in court.)

  She has raised two daughters and lived to tell about it. Her hobbies include growing purple flowers and doing totally useless crafts (like, for example, making a microwave oven out of Popsicle sticks, glue, and glitter). Rachel lives in northern Virginia with a spoiled pet Yorkie who terrorizes her daily by climbing on top of a computer cabinet and pelting her with stuffed animals while she writes. And, yes, Rachel considers herself a total Dork.

  Meet the author, watch videos, and get extras at

  KIDS.SimonandSchuster.com

  authors.simonandschuster.com/Rachel-Renée-Russell

  ALSO BY

  Rachel Renée Russell

  Dork Diaries: Tales from a Not-So-Fabulous Life

  Dork Diaries 2: Tales from a Not-So-Popular Party Girl

  Dork Diaries 3: Tales from a Not-So-Talented Pop Star

  Dork Diaries 31/2: How to Dork Your Diary

  Dork Diaries 4:

  Tales from a Not-So-Graceful Ice Princess

  Dork Diaries 5:

  Tales from a Not-So-Smart Miss Know-It-All

  Dork Diaries 6: Tales from a Not-So-Happy Heartbreaker

  Dork Diaries OMG!: All About Me Diary!


  Dork Diaries 7: Tales from a Not-So-Glam TV Star

  Dork Diaries 8: Tales from a Not-So-Happily Ever After

  WE HOPE YOU LOVED READING THIS EBOOK!

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  This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and events are products of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  ALADDIN * An imprint of Simon & Schuster Children’s Publishing Division * 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020 * www.SimonandSchuster.com * First Aladdin hardcover edition June 2015 * Copyright © 2015 by Rachel Renée Russell * All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. * ALADDIN is a trademark of Simon & Schuster, Inc., and related logo is a registered trademark of Simon & Schuster, Inc. * DORK DIARIES is a registered trademark of Rachel Renée Russell * For information about special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Simon & Schuster Special Sales at 1-866-506-1949 or business@simonandschuster.com. * The Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau can bring authors to your live event. For more information or to book an event contact the Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau at 1-866-248-3049 or visit our website at www.simonspeakers.com. * Series design by Lisa Vega * Cover design by Karin Paprocki * Leopard pattern on cover copyright © 2015 by Artem Rudik/Thinkstock * Library of Congress Control Number 2015935370 * ISBN 978-1-4424-8769-7 (POB) * ISBN 978-1-4424-8770-3 (eBook)