Karma's a Bitch: A Short Story

by Michael Goffinet

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  Clint Evans just got home from his job at the local hardware store. He was exhausted. He hated the job, but it was the only job he could get. With the bad economy, not too many businesses were hiring ex-felons. Ex-felon, he thought. He just couldn’t get use to the thought. He'd been out of jail for six months and he still couldn't believe he was an ex-felon. He had been a responsible person his entire life. He was an accountant for Christ sake! He never paid a bill late, never missed an event for his son, and never cheated on his wife. Well, that is, until that fateful night that changed his life forever. It happened two and half years ago, but he remembered that night as if it were yesterday. His best friend, Scott, was coming into town to give a presentation at a convention. Clint was excited to see him. They hadn't seen each other in fifteen years, ever since Scott moved to Florida. They decided to meet at Joe's Pub, their old stomping grounds. Clint hadn't been out to drink with friends in over five years. He knew the key for any man to stay faithful to his wife, was to stay out of tempting situations. They met at eight o'clock on an empty Thursday night. They had a blast sitting at the bar, drinking and talking about old times. After about two hours, Scott decided he should get some rest before his big presentation the next morning. They said their goodbyes. Clint decided to stay a little longer to sober up before driving home. That was the beginning of his problems. Laura Swanson entered Joe's Pub and sat on the bar stool next to him. Laura was an attractive woman dressed in tight designer jeans and a red three-quarter-sleeve v-neck top showing off her ample breasts. She had beautiful blonde hair that draped over her long neck. Clint's hormones started kicking in. He was quite a lady's man before he met his wife and he missed the game. What harm could a little flirting hurt? Just to see if I still have it. He struck up a conversation and bought her a drink. I still have the old charm. Laura told him she came to the pub to meet a girlfriend, but her girlfriend called and cancelled right when Laura entered the pub, so she decided to have a drink before she left. "Her loss is my gain," Clint said with his most charming smile. Why he said it he didn't know. He knew he should stop, but it felt too good. One drink led to another and they both became inebriated. She grabbed his hand and led him into the hallway of the bathrooms. They started making out hot and heavy. The head on Clint's shoulders was no longer doing the thinking. She pulled away, leaned in and whispered into his ear. "Have you ever had a quicky in the bathroom?" Clint's eyes went wide in surprise and he swallowed hard. He went silent, but she took his hand and led him into the ladies room. They began kissing wildly. Clint pulled her pants down and then his. He lifted her up on to the sink by her naked ass and entered her. She moaned in delight. A couple minutes later they both orgasmed and held each other tightly. The orgasm sobered Clint up. He immediately started feeling regret. What have I done? He said a quick good-bye and ran out the door. He went home, took a long hot shower, got in bed, cuddled up to his wife, Debra, and went to sleep. He promised himself that he would be the best husband in the world. He would make up for his mistake.

  Two weeks later, a couple of police arrived at his house and arrested him for rape. Rape! What the hell were they talking about? They put on the cuffs right in front of his wife and son. They were both sobbing when they took him away. His head was spinning faster than a top on a coffee table. He couldn't believe this was happening. Later he would find out that Laura had pressed charges against him for rape. She admitted to flirting and even kissing him, but she told the authorities that he pulled her into the ladies room and forced himself on her. To this day, he never found out why she did it. Maybe she was mad that he left abruptly or maybe that was her plan the entire time. Nevertheless, he was found guilty and sentenced to four years in prison. He got out in two years for good behavior, but he will be branded as a sexual predator for the rest of his life. He lost his house and spent his entire life savings on lawyers. His wife had to work two jobs just to support her and their son. His son, Jake, was humiliated. The kids at school were ruthless. He was getting into a fight almost every week. He eventually fell in with the wrong crowd and started smoking pot and drinking. Jake got straight A's the semester before Clint was arrested. Now at sixteen, he was flunking high school. Clint wanted to make it up to his son, but Jake wouldn't even talk to him. It was a high price to pay for a five-second orgasm. Even Tiger Woods got off easier than he did, and he was a serial cheater!

  Debra was a trooper. She visited Clint every week for the two years he was in jail. She claimed to still love him and was willing to give him another chance, but it had to be on her terms. They were legally separated but still go on a date every week. The dates have been fun, but she still hasn't allowed him to touch her. He was dying for female attention. He wasn't sure if he could wait much longer. He actually flirted with a woman today for the first time in a couple of years. It felt so good to feel like someone was interested in him. The woman was a regular, so he was sure to see her again. What was her name? That’s right, it was Karen. Karen Sheppard.

  One Month Later

  Jane and Kerry just finished locking up the Paris Club at three o'clock in the morning, when they noticed there were three cars in the parking lot. Jane looked at Kerry. "You checked all the bathrooms, right?"

  "Yeah, trust me, that place is empty."

  "Huh, I wonder whose car that is?"

  "Look, I can see someone in the driver's side. Maybe they're waiting for someone," said Kerry.

  Jane and Kerry walked over to the Toyota Highlander. They immediately knew something was wrong. A woman was slumped over the steering wheel. "Do you think she is sleeping one off?" Jane asked. Kerry shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know, let's find out." Kerry tapped lightly on the window with her knuckles. The woman didn't move. Kerry tapped louder, still no movement. Kerry reached for the door, but Jane grabbed her hand. "Don't, I think she may be dead!" Kerry quickly pulled her hand away like she just touched a hot stove. "Um, maybe we should call the police." The police arrived a half hour later. One of the officers pulled the door handle and it opened. He put his fingers up to her neck. No pulse. They didn't see any signs of struggle, but they called CSI just in case.