The sheriff took off his hat and fanned his sweating face. “Okay, spread out.”
The paramedics put down their litter and they all went in different directions, combing the area for any sign of him. The sheriff moved close to the ground in an ever-widening circle.
Alex searched along the creek, then stood up on a tall rock for a better vantage point. All around her stretched dense forest, so she couldn’t see much.
For over two hours they searched, coming up empty. Finally the sheriff yelled, “Carter!” and she went to him. His usual mildly disapproving expression had deepened to outright disgust. “I don’t see any sign of this guy dragging himself through here. There are some broken branches back there,” he said, pointing in the direction the man must have crawled from. “But it’s just a small section that leads from another creek. Then the trail just disappears. I think he must have dragged himself down the creek earlier, probably floating in the deeper parts. Maybe he thought the cold water would help with the swelling. Then he crawled out to where you found him. From the way the twigs and grasses are bent, he moved from the creek to the spot where your bottle was. Then nothing.”
She furrowed her brow. “Nothing? How can that be?”
He pointed to the boulder field close by, just to the south. “He could have dragged himself over that boulder field. It would be hard to track.”
“Why would an injured person do that?”
He shrugged. “Beats me. But from what you said, he wasn’t exactly coherent. I’ve seen weirder shit than that in rescues. People get dehydrated and hypothermic, and they do the craziest shit.” She pursed her lips, staring around. “You got a better theory?” he asked her.
Reluctantly she shook her head.
They searched for another hour, looking for clues in the boulders. They took turns calling out and listening, but neither Alex nor the others heard the quiet, pleading voice in return. Finally the sun sank below the mountains. “Okay, people,” Makepeace shouted, gesturing for the two paramedics to return. Alex joined them. “I’m calling this. We got miles to hike back in the dark, and we need a bigger search party for this. Dogs too. We’re going to resume the search in the a.m. For now, let’s hike back and I’ll get the search and rescue ball rolling for tomorrow.”
Alex stared at him. “We’re just going to leave him out here? Sheriff, I don’t think this guy is going to survive another night out here. He was really bad off.”
The sheriff doffed his hat again, turning the brim in his hands while looking around. “I don’t like it any more than you, Carter, but if we have the four of us stumbling around out here in the dark and cold, SAR people might be looking for us tomorrow, too.”
“I don’t feel right about this,” she said for the record.
He glowered at her. “Listen, if you want to stay out here all night looking for this guy, that’s your prerogative. But if that guy was out there bleeding and exposed, he might have been dragged off by a bear or mountain lion. A bear could have cached his body, and we won’t find something like that without dogs. The best you can do is go back to the lodge, eat a good dinner, go to bed early, and join us tomorrow morning at first light.”
Lisa spoke up. “I for one wouldn’t mind you leading us out of here,” she said, her voice sounding quiet in the growing dark.
“Me, either,” Bubba chimed in.
Alex hated this. He was out there somewhere. She’d told him she’d bring help, that he’d be in a hospital by tonight. “I don’t like this.”
The sheriff put his hands on his hips. “I know you don’t. But look, you told him to stay put, right?”
She nodded.
“So it’s not your fault he dragged himself away.”
“Yeah, but you said yourself he probably wasn’t thinking too clearly.”
Makepeace frowned. “His dice are cast. Who knows how many stupid choices he made to get into the situation he’s in? He was hiking alone, out here without even a pair of shoes.”
“We don’t know why he wasn’t wearing shoes. And hell, I’ve been hiking around alone, too.”
“That’s true, but we have no idea how experienced this guy was. He might have relied completely on a GPS unit and not brought a map, and then when the batteries died, he had no idea where he was. Maybe he was being an idiot and hiking around at night and fell off a cliff. None of it is your responsibility.”
Alex set her jaw. “I told him he’d be safe tonight, Sheriff.”
Makepeace put his hat back on. “That’s one of the first things you learn in law enforcement. You never make promises.”
Alex exhaled, then looked at the faces of Lisa and Bubba, who had both gone quiet. “Okay,” Alex relented. “Let’s get back to the lodge.”
Bubba let out a breath of relief, and Lisa said, “Thank you. I’m sorry we didn’t find him.”
“Me too,” Alex said with chagrin.
Discouraged, the group hiked down in silence, having to use their flashlights and headlamps in the last hour before they reached the lodge. When they got to their cars, the paramedics climbed into the ambulance and gave Alex a wave in parting.
The sheriff took off his pack and flung it into the passenger seat of his cruiser. “You want to join us tomorrow?”
She nodded.
“We’ll be here at six a.m.”
“I’ll be ready.”
He climbed in and drove off without saying goodbye.
Alex walked back inside the lodge, her legs so tired they felt like rubber. A hot spot was building on her little toe. She took a steaming shower, then dug out her packet of moleskin to apply to her growing blister.
For dinner, Alex made a plate of scrambled eggs in the kitchen, then stood at one of the steel tables and ate it. She had a bad feeling about leaving the man out there for another night. She felt useless. Halfway through her plate of eggs, she was surprised to hear the phone ring. Maybe it was Zoe.
She hurried through to the lobby and picked it up. “Hello?”
“Sheriff Makepeace here.”
“Hi, Sheriff.”
“Thought it might make you feel better to know that our helicopter’s back. They found that other missing hiker and she’s been airlifted out. So the pilot’s going to sweep the area where you saw the man. They’ve got FLIR.”
Forward-looking infrared. She’d heard of it. It could pick up heat, so any warm bodies would stand out against the cool of the forest floor at night. You could also see the shape of the heat signature, so they’d be able to tell if it was a human or deer or bear.
She breathed a sigh of relief. “That does make me feel better.”
“Thought so.”
“When are they going out there?”
“Soon. You’ll probably hear the chopper up there.”
“Will you let me know what they find?” she asked.
“Sure thing. If it’s a negative, I’ll still be out there in the a.m. I’ll let you know if the search is still on.”
She was surprised at his kindness, and felt like he had softened a little toward her. Of course, that could just be his exhaustion talking. Tomorrow he might be cold as ever.
They hung up and Alex returned to her scrambled eggs, her heart a little lighter.
Alex had been asleep for only a few hours when the dream came. It transported her to the wetlands dedication ceremony. She’d been looking at her phone, trying to read points she wanted to bring up in the TV interview, but none of it made sense, the letters all garbled. Then she’d tried to speak into the microphone, but she had no voice. Everyone stared at her, wondering what was wrong with her, and then suddenly the gunman cut through the crowd. She turned and tried to run, but her body wouldn’t move fast enough. She stepped off the stage and instantly the mud mired her feet down. She struggled in slow motion while the gunman ran effortlessly toward her, training the gun on her. She fell forward into the soil, fingers squelching through sodden grasses. She glanced back, seeing the gunman standing over her, his gun leveled at h
er head. Then his skull exploded and he collapsed. A man in a black skullcap appeared, and he extended a hand down to Alex.
She jerked awake, sitting up on her elbows, her mind fuzzy. For a minute she didn’t know where she was, and she struggled out of the dream. Had she just heard something? She looked at her watch: 4:15 a.m. She listened, hearing only the wind whistling through a broken shutter down the hall. What was it about this place that made her startle awake like this?
She lay back on her pillow, deciding she must have dreamed whatever woke her. She closed her eyes, the welcome feeling of relaxation moving through her legs and arms.
Then she did hear something, a muffled thump downstairs. She sat up fully, wide awake now. Below her some furniture shifted around. At least that’s what it sounded like, but it was furtive, quiet. She swung her legs over the bed and slid her feet into her boots. Standing up gingerly, she tried to avoid making the floorboards creak.
Below her the sound stopped, and she held her breath, wondering if the intruder had heard her. Jolene had told her people broke in here sometimes.
Maybe this person didn’t realize anyone was here. She’d locked up the Willys Wagon in the maintenance shed again, so the lodge might look deserted. She had no lights on. The shutters were off the bottom-floor windows, but were still on many of the top windows that had experienced the ravaging of storms.
She stood still, waiting, then heard another muffled thump. She crept quickly to the dresser and grabbed her bear spray. Gripping it tightly in her right hand, she listened. Someone was inside on the bottom step. The squeak was unmistakable.
She wondered if it was someone intent on vandalism or theft or something worse. She thought of the people she’d run across in town who didn’t want her or the land trust here.
She heard the person take another step, then another and another. She decided she’d give them a face full of bear spray if they came into her room. She didn’t want to go out there and confront them, whoever they were. They might have a gun.
The person had now rounded the landing and was on the second set of stairs, climbing slowly. She couldn’t see a light under her bedroom door, and figured they must be climbing in the dark, which negated the possibility of its being Jolene coming over to bring her food or something. Which she doubted Jolene would do in the middle of the night, anyway.
As the steps grew closer, Alex’s heart began to hammer. The only working phone was downstairs in the lobby. Maybe she could wait for the person to pass her door, then creep down there and call the police.
Outside, the person tripped and tumbled back downstairs, cursing out loud. She recognized the voice.
Opening the door to her room and flipping on the hallway light, she saw Brad in a crumple on the landing of the stairs. He struggled to get up. “Damn place,” he said, brushing himself off as he stood. “Where are all the damn light switches?”
“Generally mounted on the damn walls,” Alex told him, crossing her arms.
He stopped on the landing, looking up at her. “I forgot how beautiful you are. You take my breath away.”
She smiled, and he climbed the stairs and hugged her.
“What are you doing here, Brad?” She took in his familiar beige face with his chestnut-brown eyes, cleft chin, and the almost black, neatly cropped hair. He certainly is handsome, she thought.
“I’ve come to see you, of course.” For a moment he held her and she breathed in the warm, familiar scent of him. Though she tried to keep hope at bay, a thought rose up inside her. Maybe he’d come here to spend the winter with her. Maybe he realized how important wildlife work was to her.
He pulled away, and instantly she saw that the understanding and tenderness she’d hoped for wasn’t there. “What are you doing out here?” he asked, his brow furrowed in annoyance. “When Zoe told me, I couldn’t believe it. Then she tells me you were almost killed by some crazy guy with a gun. And I have to find out through her? I’ve been trying to reach you for weeks.”
She stepped back, disappointed at the familiar anger. “Not for weeks,” she said. “I was in town with cell service a few days ago and you still hadn’t called.”
He threw his hands up in exasperation. “You didn’t even tell me you’d left. Your message just said to call you.”
“I didn’t want to let you know in a message. I wanted to tell you. I didn’t think it would take this long for you to get back to me.”
He threw his hands down to his sides and exhaled. “I don’t believe this. I thought we were working toward getting back together. Then you just up and leave?”
“I hadn’t heard from you in a month even before I left. I’ve been waiting for a field opportunity like this, you know that. And it’s only for the winter,” she added, though even as she said it, her heart fell down into her stomach. She didn’t want this assignment to be for only a few months. The thought of going back to Boston now, or even at the end of the assignment, made her soul feel like it was withering.
“It’s not like I didn’t call because I didn’t want to talk to you. I’ve been really busy at the firm.”
“I know that. But my postdoc research fellowship ended, and I needed work. This assignment was far above anything I could have expected.”
“It pays well?”
“No, I mean what I’m doing here, studying wolverines in this gorgeous place. It’s more than I hoped for.” She was still groggy from sleep and didn’t want to jump into a fight.
“Oh,” he said simply, “of course it doesn’t pay well.”
She crossed her arms. “I didn’t become a wildlife biologist to rake in the big bucks.”
“You don’t have to tell me that,” he said with contempt.
Now anger stung at her, too. “And you didn’t become a lawyer to rake in the big bucks, either. At least, not at first. You had aspirations, remember? You wanted to make a difference.”
He shook his head. “Sure, as an undergrad. Everyone thinks they can change the world when they first get to college. But eventually we have to face reality. You can’t sacrifice yourself, your income, for the rest of your life, trying to make the world a better place. One person simply doesn’t have the power to save the world.”
“Maybe not,” she said. “But if we all do something, then together—”
He cut her off. “Together we can. How many times have I heard that from you?”
“Apparently not enough.”
“No, too much. How many people do you know who are actually out there helping wildlife?”
She couldn’t believe they were standing on the stairs, immediately falling into a fight. “Some of my grad school colleagues were placed with conservation agencies.”
“How many?”
She thought about it. “Two.”
He grinned mirthlessly. “Two. See what I mean? I suppose the three of you are going to save the world?”
She was silent. She thought of pointing out all the nonprofit organizations, the volunteers who gave their time to wildlife, but knew that Brad just wanted to argue and it would be pointless. Over the years, she’d learned just to be silent and let him vent or the situation would only escalate.
“Meanwhile, you’re living in . . .” He gestured around at the lodge, pointing to a crack in the wall where some water damage had occurred. “In an abandoned building in the middle of Montana? How is this helping?”
“My research with wolverines could show that a declining species is using this preserve.”
“So you left Boston, you left me, to study giant weasels.” He definitely had been talking to Zoe.
This wasn’t fair. “You’d already left, Brad.” Her heart thumped in her chest, anger and adrenaline coursing through her. She was awake now. It was absurd, standing there in her pajamas, arguing. “You had moved out.” This was so like him to try to make her feel like she hadn’t tried hard enough. These days he never addressed her desire to help wildlife as a genuine passion and goal she had for her life. He treated it like it
was an affront to him. If she needed to spend time in the field, he always acted like it was a rejection of their relationship.
When she was studying the pygmy rabbit in Nevada, he’d attacked her for “caring more for hawk food” than him. And when she’d spent a month recording bats in Yosemite, he’d argued with her for caring more about “flying rats” than him. She knew it was pointless to fight with him when he was worked up like this. Why was he even here? Just to get on her case? And how had he gotten into the lodge?
She took a deep breath, forcing the anger to flow out of her body. This was ridiculous. He’d just flown 2,500 miles to see her, and they were already arguing. Taking the role of peacemaker, Alex said, “Let’s go downstairs. I’ll make us some tea. I don’t want to fight with you.”
His shoulders relaxed a little. “I don’t want to fight with you, either.”
She led him back downstairs toward the kitchen. “How did you get in?”
“I knocked at first.”
She wondered if that’s what had woken her up with a start.
“When you didn’t answer, I wasn’t about to spend the night in my car or in some dingy motel in one of these tiny towns.”
Alex thought motel owners would be just as happy to not have him there as he would be not to stay. He’d be a guest with endless demands, like different pillows and better coffee.
“So I crawled in through the kitchen window. It was open a crack. The latch is broken.”
She didn’t remember leaving it open a crack, nor did she remember the lock being broken. In fact, in grizzly country, she’d been very careful to leave the window securely closed. If a bear smelled her food and managed to get inside and eat some, then it would begin to associate human structures with food, and people would be all the more likely to kill it.
She started boiling water in the kettle and Brad watched her. “I’d rather have a beer, actually,” he told her.
“Sorry, I don’t think I have any, unless there’s some in the fridge.”
He went to it and searched the shelves. “Damn. Tea it is, I guess. Of course you don’t have any coffee, do you?”
“That I do have,” she said, reaching up to the shelf where Ben had pointed out his stash. When she was finished, they sat down in the lobby with their drinks.
A Solitude of Wolverines Page 12