by Dena Blake
Johanna touched the bottom of Drew’s chin and their gazes met. “If you’re hurting this badly, she’s hurting worse.”
“What do I do now?”
“Give her a little time, but stay close. If this other man is as dreadful as you say, she’s going to need you.” A thoughtful smile warmed her face. “You want to be there when she does.”
“That’s the problem.” Drew flew up off the bench. “She doesn’t need me. She doesn’t need anyone.”
“Drew. Everyone needs someone.” Johanna pulled her into an embrace. “That includes you.”
* * *
Sam had never intended for anyone to get hurt, but she hadn’t done her job, and Brad had been. Her penance was taking care of him as he nursed his bruised ribs. He would be well soon. Then Sam would let him go and be free of her conscience, once again.
Brad had promised to steer clear of Drew’s sister as well as other women for the time being, and Sam had agreed to stay until he was fully recuperated. Satisfying his every need wasn’t in her plans. Was she this weak? Or was this some sort of punishment she was inflicting on herself for the way she’d treated Drew? She didn’t have an answer. When Brad had tried to touch her, Sam’s stomach had lurched. Promise or not, it became all too clear she couldn’t live this way anymore.
“No. I swore I wouldn’t do this.” She pressed her hands hard against his chest and pushed him aside.
“Watch the ribs!” Brad’s face twisted in pain.
Pulling the sheet up around her, she scooted up against the headboard. “Do you love me?”
He groaned, pulling a pillow under his chest, propping himself up on one elbow. “What kind of question is that?”
“An honest one.” Sweeping her hand across the top of his head, her fingers caught in his gel-hardened hair.
He took her hand and flung it back at her. “Just give me a minute, will you?”
She sank back and hugged her knees to her chest. Why am I back here again? Drew would’ve never pushed me away. “I have to go.” She swung her legs over the side of the bed.
“Why?” he asked, the sound of honest confusion ringing in his voice.
Tucking one leg up underneath her, she turned back to him. “Tell me you love me right now, and I’ll stay.” She stared into his eyes, hoping he couldn’t say it.
He traced a finger down her arm and took her hand but didn’t speak.
Relief washed over her. “I didn’t think so. You’re not the only one. I don’t think about us in terms of love anymore either.” She gave his hand a light squeeze, then got up and slipped on her flip-flops.
“What’s so important about love?” He flopped back onto the pillow. “This has always been good enough.”
“Things are different now.” She shook her head. “I’m different.” She spoke with sadness. “I want someone to want me the way I want to be wanted.”
“I want you.” His voice rang with an odd sense of sincerity.
“No, you don’t. You don’t want me any more than the dozens of other woman you’ve been with.”
“I told you, I won’t do that anymore.”
“Don’t you understand, Brad? I want someone to feel that burn of desire inside when I walk into the room. And I want them to know I’m feeling that too.”
“And we don’t have that?” His voice rose.
“No, not in a long time.”
“So now you’re going back to your second-string racer?” Anger filled his voice as he held a hand to his ribs, and he scrambled out of bed.
Sam squeezed her lips hard together, trying not to respond to his incitement. Brad loved to fight, and their battles always ended with sex.
“This isn’t about you or Drew. This is about me.” She opened the door a crack. “It took me a while to figure it out, but I finally realized I don’t need anyone else to survive. If, and when, I want someone, I’ll make that choice.”
Brad caught the door halfway. He slammed it shut and pinned her against the wall. “I think you have something of mine.” He fingered the ring dangling on the chain.
Sam clutched it. The stone had hung around her neck for so long she’d almost forgotten it was there. Giving it back would be easy because it was never truly hers. After she unfastened the clasp, she let the ring slide from the chain. “Take it. I don’t want it anymore.”
Chapter Twenty-nine
Drew sucked in a deep breath before heading into the garage. She’d avoided Sam all day, and it was time she made her presence known again. She’d done exactly as her mother had suggested. She hadn’t made contact but was staying just close enough to Sam for her heart to squeeze.
Brad was out of the race, and now it was up to Drew to bring home the purse. Plus, a killer was still on the loose. Even if nothing else came from this, Drew was sure Sam was not a suspect. The roar of the engine echoed through the steel building, and Drew spotted Sam at the number-fifteen car with her head ducked under the hood. The body was shot, but the engine sounded good.
“You going to have that car finished by tomorrow?” Drew shouted.
Her voice must have rung through the noise, because Sam spun around to meet her gaze.
“Of course I will.” She reached inside the car and cut the engine. “When I start something, I finish it.” Just as she had finished with her.
“Let me know when you want me to test it.”
“We don’t have the new body ready yet. I probably won’t run it until tomorrow. When I need you, I’ll send Ray after you.” She glanced over at Ray, who nodded.
“Sam.” Drew hesitated, aching to tell her she didn’t care about her job or anything else. She was afraid Sam wouldn’t believe her, and that would only make things worse.
“What?” Sam said, her eyes softening a bit.
“Never mind. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Drew turned and went out the side door, sending it clanging closed behind her. She wanted to tell Sam so much, but for her to remain safe, Drew needed to keep her objectivity, which wasn’t a difficult task at this point.
* * *
Sam stared at the engine, her mind still cluttered with thoughts of the woman she’d just let walk out the door. She didn’t tell her she’d left Brad. She wasn’t ready to talk yet. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to shake her feelings about Drew, but they were overwhelming. She’d never imagined such a perfect fit. No adjustment required. Two people melding as though they were one. Needs being satisfied completely—needs that she ached with now and wants that burned to her very core. Desires running so deep within her, they would never be forgotten. All these things, she’d never felt until Drew, the woman who’d opened the doors to her sexuality, a magical portal that would never be closed again, not as long as she was near. How could she have ever wanted this woman out of her life?
“Drew,” she mumbled.
“She already took off. You want me to get her?” Ray asked.
“No.” She fought to conceal the heat rising in her cheeks. “That woman drives me crazy.” She snatched up a wrench and tossed it into the toolbox.
“You won’t have to worry about her much longer anyway.”
“Ray?” She hesitated. “What are you talking about?”
He pulled the tarp off the new car body. “It came early this morning. All we have to do is change it out.” It was bright yellow instead of cherry red, with number thirty-six on the hood. “Now you can drive, and Drew can move on.”
“I can’t drive that car, Ray.”
“Why not? She’s in tip-top condition. You can be the first driver to win with the number thirty-six. No one’s ever done it before.”
“I appreciate everything you did, Ray, but after what happened the last time I went out on the track, I don’t think I can do it.”
“Sure you can. You can handle yourself. You proved that. You brought the car in without a scratch on it.”
“I panicked. If Drew hadn’t talked me through it, I would’ve gone straight into the wall.”
Ray�
��s gaze darted nervously from hers. “You give her too much credit. You would’ve handled it just as good without her.”
“I’m not so sure about that.”
“You’re the only stable woman I know.” Wandering closer, his expression changed. “Jenna left me.” His voice was low and gruff.
“I’m sorry, Ray. I didn’t know.” She hadn’t seen Jenna around the track at all lately, but when she’d asked him about it, he always had an excuse.
“She took everything I had.”
“Ray, I wish you’d told me. Do you need any help financially?”
“No. I’ll be okay after the race.”
“What happened with Jenna?” Some friend she was. She didn’t know he was having trouble.
“Guess she got tired of competing.”
“Competing?”
“With my job.” He moved closer. “I’m kind of like you. The track’s my life. Now that I’m single, maybe we could have a drink sometime?”
Sam didn’t know what to do. Ray was her best friend. She didn’t have the slightest romantic interest in him, but she’d never seen excitement in his eyes like this before. Sam hedged. She couldn’t break his heart. Not now. He’d probably never speak to her again. Losing her lover and best friend in one week would be too much.
“I guess it wouldn’t hurt.”
“When?” His response was quick and eager.
Sam shrugged, blowing out a short breath. “How about after the race tomorrow? We can celebrate.”
“Awesome. I’ll see you then,” he said, giving her a broad smile. “If you’re through with me here, I’m going to go get a bite to eat.”
“Go ahead. I’ll finish up.”
“You want anything?”
“No thanks.” Wondering if she’d done the right thing, Sam watched him sidestep the doorway, letting Jade come through before he went out.
“What’s he so happy about?”
“He asked me to have a drink with him after the race.” She shook her head. “Seems he’s got a crush on me. Can you believe that?”
“And you said?” Jade tipped her head forward, obviously waiting for an answer.
“I said I would.” Sam smiled uncomfortably.
“Seriously? What are you doing, Sam?” Jade’s voice hissed with exasperation.
Sam avoided the question and swiped her hand across the hood of the car. “Did you see the new body? Ray thinks I should drive it.”
“Are you gonna?”
“No. Paddy’s got Drew set to drive tomorrow.”
Jade pulled the screwdriver out of Sam’s hand. “Go see her.”
“Who?”
“Drew, you idiot.” She tossed the flathead into the toolbox.
“I’ve already seen her today.”
“And?”
“And I ripped her to shreds, as usual.” Sam sank onto the stool.
“Well, then go glue her back together.”
Sam sprang up and pulled the hydraulic jack across the garage. “I can’t. I’m not wired like that.”
Jade was right on her heels. “You’re too tough to let yourself be happy?”
“Yeah. That’s me. The tough one.” She flipped the jack handle toward the wall, and it clanged against the metal panel.
“This isn’t a race we’re talking about, Sam.” Jade took her by the arm and swung her around. “This is the rest of your life. It’s not going to be over tomorrow.”
“It might as well be.”
Jade released her grip and let her arms drop to her sides. “If I were you, I’d be over there in a minute, taking everything that woman had to offer.” She let the door clang as she left the garage.
Sam thought about what Ray had said earlier. She didn’t want to go out with him, and she didn’t want the track to be the only thing she had. She wanted more. She wanted Drew.
* * *
Drew slid the six-pack of beer onto the table, pulled a can free, and popped it open. It was ice-cold now but would be warm soon. She never had bought a cooler. After drinking down a long, slow gulp, she dropped into the chair and pinched the bridge of her nose. Swiping the remote from the table, she punched the power button. The blue picture flickered to life, and the DVD she’d watched a thousand times played. It was the recording of Tommy Kelleher’s accident.
He had to be crazy, Drew thought, dropping to her knees in front of the television screen. “Why didn’t you just pit?” Zooming in closer, she hit the rewind button and played the tape again. Watching the number-thirteen car slam into the barrier, Drew tried to make sense of it, to find an obvious reason for the crash. Nothing was ever obvious in racing. Twisted metal ripped from the mangled machine and flew across the roadway after the first high-speed impact. Without slowing, Lucky Thirteen shot across the track and barreled into the side rail. After skidding back onto the asphalt, the car finally came to a complete stop before bursting into flames.
In all practicality, there was no hope for Tommy. Then, out of nowhere, Sam appeared from the side of the screen, yanking and pulling him from the car. A suicidal move. Suddenly, like metal to magnet, the flames attached themselves to her lower body, and she was engulfed in an instant bonfire. A vise gripped Drew’s chest at the sight.
Catching a faint shadow in the fading sunlight beyond the window, she paused the DVD, glanced up, and sucked down the last of her beer.
She took a minute to deal with the unsettling reaction in her stomach, then slid back and leaned against the bed frame. She’d never been like this before. Drew didn’t like being the vulnerable girl, the one who rethought every situation because of a woman. She hurled the empty can at the wastebasket and swiped her fingers across her mouth. She squeezed her eyes shut momentarily before she focused on the screen again.
The still picture showed the two flame-engulfed people lying motionless, hopefully unconscious, on the track. She hit the Play button and watched firemen crowd the screen, dousing them with fire extinguishing foam. She squinted and inched closer to the set again.
“Sam was still moving,” she murmured, squinting at the TV screen, wishing the picture was clearer. She was unbelievable. With no concern for her own safety, she’d saved her brother from a slow, painful death and was still trying to move him out of danger. She loved her brother so much, she was willing to die saving him.
“Stupid move.” Drew no longer believed in the myth of painless death. She’d hung on the edge, clinging to life for too long. It was an agonizing torture, and she would never forget it.
Glancing back at the screen, she watched another figure jet across the track. Throwing a blanket across her, he shielded Sam from flying debris. The red-hot flames claiming her torso had been extinguished, but that was only the beginning of her pain.
Drew remembered the scars covering Sam’s backside. In one brief intimate moment, the question that had skidded through her mind so many times before had been answered. It was Sam who’d risked her life to pull an unconscious and flaming Tommy Kelleher out of that car.
She turned off the TV and flopped back onto the bed. In the past few weeks, Drew had risked her life, her job, and more importantly, her heart. What was she thinking, getting involved with her number-one suspect? Letting her head fall back, she stared up at the ceiling. Drew knew exactly what had gone through her mind—the scent of her hair, the smooth, silky feel of her skin, and most of all, the warmth of Sam when the two of them were coupled. She should’ve trusted Sam from the start.
Her mind had cleared of everything but Sam, and Drew was thoroughly primed and ready to go when a knock at the door jolted her back into the real world.
“Just a minute.” She launched herself off the bed, stumbled to the door, and pulled it open. She stared for a minute and then squeezed her eyes closed. She had to make sure the woman standing in front of her wasn’t just a fragment left from a lingering dream.
Chapter Thirty
Sam was caught off guard by the hazy look on Drew’s face when she opened the door. “I’m so
rry.” She scrunched her cheeks. “You were asleep.” Drew was exhausted. Sam saw it in her eyes.
“I was just dozing off.” Drew raked her hand across her neck, kneading the base of her skull.
Sam stared for a long time. Drew held her gaze and she backed up. She shouldn’t have come.
“Wait.” The single word escaped Drew’s lips in a whisper.
Wait. The word echoed through Sam’s mind. She wanted her to stay.
Unable to remain strong any longer, Sam broke like a brittle dam overcome with a flood of raging rain. She threw herself against Drew and let her warmth wash across her.
“I’m stubborn, pigheaded, and not very smart, sometimes.” She snaked her arms around Drew’s waist and squeezed. “I’m sorry, Drew.” The tears streamed down her face. “I’ve been such an idiot.” She took in a ragged breath and held it, waiting for her reaction.
Drew held her arms in the air before letting them drop and twine around Sam. “You’re not an idiot. A little neurotic, maybe, but not an idiot.”
She pulled back and gave her a smile. “Neurotic. Yes, that fits.” Like a glove. Sam tilted her head back and stared into Drew’s eyes. “I want to be so close to you, but somehow I keep pushing you away.”
“Not far enough.” Drew cupped Sam’s face in her hands before moving her thumb across her cheek to wipe away the moisture. “I’ve missed you.” Drew’s mouth came down against Sam’s, hard, selfish, and insistent. Hot and demanding, her tongue engaged Sam’s in a heated dance she would never forget. Sam couldn’t think, didn’t want to. All she wanted was to be with this woman. Now.
“Make love to me, Drew.” Sam gazed up at her again. “Please.” She sensed Drew’s hesitation. “I haven’t—I mean I didn’t sleep with Brad. I wouldn’t do that to you again.”
With a nudge of Drew’s hand, the door was closed, and Sam knew she wanted her too.
* * *
Sam felt the tug as Drew twined a strand of red hair around her finger. “You awake?”