by Lane Hart
“I’m not taking the chance that you’ll bolt before I know for sure,” he says.
“Fine!” I say, wanting to throw my hands up if Liam wasn’t in them. “Let’s make a compromise." Grabbing the front of the cart, I wheel it around the people in line and park it in front of the cashier. “Could we leave our cart here for just a moment while I go fix him a bottle in the car?” I ask the teenager, who is chewing her gum furiously while she rings up the customer.
“Yes, thank god,” she grumbles with a roll of her eyes. Oh, one day she will know the joys of motherhood, and it’ll be her kid that everyone is giving the stink eye.
“Thank you,” I tell her, then look to Torin. “Are you coming?”
He walks off around me, so I hurry to catch up with his long legs. When he unlocks the trunk, I start giving him instructions.
“We haven’t boiled the nipples, but we’ll just have to make do,” I tell him.
Rearing back, Torin says, “Do what to the nipples?”
“Nothing,” I say. “Just open up the bottle and pour some of the water in the jug over the nipple and down in it to wash it out.”
He just stands there and stares at me like I’m speaking gibberish while Liam’s screams can be heard for miles. “Hurry up, Torin!”
Grumbling under his breath, he finally follows my instructions.
“Great,” I say when he pours out the water. “Now open the formula and dump two scoops in the bottle; then add four ounces of water.”
He does those two things without further prompting, and before you know it I have a bottle in my hand. I shake up the powder to mix it with the water and then plug it into my son’s screaming mouth.
Torin and I both heave a heavy sigh of relief when the sounds of the rest of the world return thanks to the silence.
“We can go back in now if you want,” I tell him as I readjust my hold on Liam. He doesn’t weigh much; but after carrying him around for about an hour, my arms are getting tired.
“You can sit here and wait while I go back in,” Torin tells me.
Glad to be able to rest a minute, I hop up in the cargo area and prop my elbow up against the interior.
“Oh, really? You don’t think I’ll drive off without you?” I tease him.
“No,” he answers when he starts walking toward the front of the store. “Because I still have the keys!” he says when he turns to face me, walking backward and dangling the keys in the air with a smirk.
“I could hotwire another car,” I joke. Glancing around the lot, I say, “There are a lot to pick from.”
“If you leave, I’ll just hunt you down again,” he says before he turns around and disappears inside. And I actually believe he would. Somehow, he found me before my father did in Vegas. I need to ask him how so that I can learn from whatever mistake I made.
Chapter Fourteen
Torin
“You’re staying in town until we get the test and the results,” I blurt out to Lexi as we drive back to our safehouse with our load of supplies.
“Okay,” she agrees, more easily than I expected.
“You won’t try to run?” I ask.
“No.”
“Okay,” I reply. “Then I won’t keep you tied up like a prisoner anymore, but you are going to stay with me.”
“Okay,” she says with a yawn before she leans her head back on the headrest and closes her eyes. With a quick glance in the rearview, I see the back of Liam’s car seat that I strapped in, but I can’t see him.
“Is he okay?” I ask Lexi. “He’s awfully quiet.”
“Shhhh. Don’t jinx it,” she whispers without opening her eyes.
“Are you doing all right, after all that happened today?” I ask, putting my eyes back on the road.
“I was more traumatized from imagining all the possible scenarios where Liam could get a scratch on him than I was seeing what you did to my father,” she answers. “What you did, by the way, was incredibly dangerous. What if I hadn’t caught Liam? What if you had missed and shot him instead?”
“What if I hadn’t shot Hector, and let him pull a gun on all of us? You’d be with him right now, probably, and I’d be dead. I wasn’t going to hit the kid, and he was in more danger of getting hurt with Hector than he would’ve been from a fall.”
“That’s not true,” Lexi says as her head pops up and starts going through possibilities. “He could’ve cracked his head open on the ground or he could’ve had internal bleeding if he landed on his stomach or back. What if he had been paralyzed? That would be a big fall for a tiny baby!”
“But none of that did happen.”
“Do you think I should get him checked out by a doctor to make sure?” she asks. “I mean, I don’t know what my father did to him while he had him.”
“You looked him over. Not a scratch, right? If anything was wrong, there would be bruising or at least some redness.”
“Yeah, I guess,” she says before yawning again.
“We’ll stay out at the safe house until we get the all-clear from Jade and the guys at the Savage Asylum. Then, I’ll set you two up in one of the vacant apartments at the clubhouse,” I tell her.
“As long as there’s a bed, I’ll be happy,” Lexi says.
“Tomorrow we’ll find somewhere to do the test.”
“Good,” she responds.
“Just don’t say anything to anyone until we know more, okay?” I ask, wanting as few people as possible to know about my secret. It’s bad enough that War, Coop, Reece, and Miles know. They probably think I’m an asshole for cheating on Kennedy. There’s no way they would believe that I was drugged and out of my mind, unable to remember the details of what I did leading up to…possibly making a baby.
“I’ve already bought more shit for your kid than I did for mine,” I admit to Lexi. “I mean, yeah, I earned the money to pay for it, but Kennedy did most of the shopping and decorating the nursery. I just put stuff together.”
“You didn’t go with her shopping?” Lexi asks.
“No. I was too busy,” I reply. “Too busy with the MC and too busy trying to avoid her after Hector started holding that damn video over my head.”
“I’m sorry,” she mutters.
“Do you know what it’s like to see yourself doing something so…awful and not remembering it? I knew it was me. There was no doubt about that. But it was like watching someone else making a monumental mistake. I wanted to yell at myself to stop, but it wouldn’t do any good. It was too late. Something I did while I was drugged and fucked-up suddenly had the power to ruin my life with Kennedy.”
“I’m s –”
“Don’t say it,” I warn her, tired of hearing her apologize. Lexi’s right; she’s nothing like her father. Hector was an evil asshole, and she seems to be a decent human being. Now that I’ve spent time with her, I don’t think she would’ve intentionally tried to fuck me over. Besides, according to her rendition of the events of the night, I was the one who put her hand on my cock. I was the one who told her to suck my dick. And I was the one who told her to fuck me when the other two things didn’t give me any relief.
But…what if she’s lying, not just about that night but about the kid?
For some strange reason, I’ve already started to get my hopes up that’s he’s mine, when it could all be a scam.
Lexi seems too calm about the idea of me taking a paternity test for her to be lying, though. Why would she be so cool about it unless she knows without a doubt what the results will say?
And there’s one small glimpse of a memory of that morning when I was finally able to haul myself out of the strip club and go to the clubhouse to take a shower that I vaguely remember. She may have been a virgin that night because I saw the possible proof on my cock. That pink stain that told me that I had fucked another woman the night before even though I couldn’t remember any details. My head was a fucked-up mess until Hector sent me that goddamn video.
Once we get back to the safehouse, my brothers
help Lexi and I bring in all of the supplies the baby needs. She keeps Liam in the kitchen, still asleep in his carrier, while we get the portable crib set up in a room set aside just for her.
After it’s arranged, I lay out the clothes she bought for herself and Liam on the bed, then go back to the kitchen where she’s feeding him another bottle.
“I didn’t realize how late it had gotten already,” I observe, peeking out the dark window. “We’ve got your room all set up, whenever you’re ready. If you need anything, I’ll be down at the end of the hall on the right.”
“Thanks, Torin,” she whispers, setting the bottle aside and setting Liam on her shoulder. “I’ll go ahead and take him back. I think he’s done for a few hours.”
“He’s done with his bottle, and now I’m gonna get started on mine,” I joke, digging into the cabinet for the bottle of Evan Williams I keep stocked in each safehouse. “You want a slug?” I ask her as I crack the seal on the bottle.
“Not now, thanks,” she replies.
“Suit yourself,” I say before she disappears down the hall.
I give a wave to my brothers in the living room, then head through the house to my bedroom. Kicking the door closed with the heel of my boot, I set the bottle down on the nightstand, followed by my phone and my gun. I peel off my cut and hang it in the closet, then throw my boots, pants, and t-shirt into a pile on the floor. Once I’m comfortable, I sit down on the edge of the bed and get ready to nurse my bottle until hopefully sleep takes me.
I’ve barely swallowed the first long, smooth pull when my damned phone rings. I pick it up and see that it’s Chase, so I flip it open. “How are you holding up over there, man?” I greet him.
“Hey, bro. Sasha and I were just sitting here in bed watching the late local news on her phone. You know how she loves to see what her fill-in is doing while she’s gone. Guess what the top story is tonight out your way?”
“Eh…shark bite?” I hedge, knowing full well that Chase is irritated with me. He was almost as hot to put a bullet in Hector Cruz as I was, and I know he’s going to be pissed that he missed the big send-off.
“Reports say that there was some sort of shootout at a salvage yard, with a bunch of people dead. They haven’t identified the bodies yet, but I thought I’d check in and see if you heard anything. It’s crazy that a story that big would go down while Sasha is out of town, isn’t it?”
He’s being cautious about how he phrases things over the phone, but I can still tell he’s pissed. The laughter in my voice probably isn’t helping his mood. “You know better than anyone, brother, when it’s a man’s time to go, he goes. That’s just the nature of the world.”
“Torin, do you know anything about this shooting?” Chase asks me bluntly, throwing caution to the wind.
“I know that everyone is better off without a piece of shit like that running around. I know I’m relieved. It’s over, and I can finally rest.”
I wince a bit as those last words leave my mouth. Chase is quiet for a moment, before he responds. “What do you mean, ‘you can finally rest?’ I don’t like the way you said that.”
I take another sip from my bottle, staring at the gun lying beside me on the nightstand. “You’ve got a family to worry about now, Chase. You don’t have to spare any for me. Don’t fail them like I did, you hear me? Don’t you fuck this up.”
“Goddammit Torin, you’re my family, too,” Chase snarls. “Don’t you do anything else while I’m on my honeymoon! Are you listening to me?” His tone softens a bit before he continues. “Don’t you think I know how you feel, at least a little? You were still in the army when I thought I had lost Sasha, but you remember how that shit still haunted me after you got back?”
“Christ, yes, I remember,” I reply. “You were an annoying little bastard before I left; but once I got back, you were absolutely unbearable. I still think Deacon only patched you in because you were willing to fight anything that looked at you sideways. I’m glad you got over that, by the way. I like you better now.”
“I survived with help from my brothers, our family. You will too, Torin. If you feel guilty, if you feel overwhelmed, you fucking lean on us. You signed on to be the president willingly. You don’t get to take the first exit when the road gets bumpy, you understand? You gotta hold on tight and ride that shit out.”
I take another swig while Chase is talking and notice that half the damned bottle is already gone. “I don’t want to talk to you anymore tonight, Chase,” I tell him bluntly. “I’ve got a lot on my mind right now. But listen…you’re right, I had been thinking some dark thoughts. I guess that’s no surprise to you. There’s more going on right now than I can discuss on the phone, but believe this…when you get home, I’ll still be here, all right? You focus on Sasha right now and have fun. I love you man, and I’m not going to leave you just yet.”
“Torin, don’t you hang up on me…” I hear Chase say as I flip the phone closed. No sooner have I tossed it down on the nightstand than I hear a light knocking on my door.
“It’s open,” I call out, leaning back on the pillows I’ve shoved up against the headboard.
Expecting one of my brothers, my eyebrows almost shoot up to my hairline when instead Lexi eases into my room, dressed in nothing but a long t-shirt we picked up for her while out shopping.
“Hey,” she says, before stopping in the doorway slack-jawed, staring at me lying on the bed in my boxers. “Um…if you’re trying to sleep, I can go…”
“I’m not trying to sleep,” I reply. “How about you? You all right?”
“Well, it’s just…my mind was still racing from everything that happened today, and with Liam asleep, I wanted to talk to someone, but those guys….” she rambles, motioning vaguely down the hallway at my brothers in the living room.
“Not very welcoming, huh?” I observe, picking up my bottle for another drink.
“No. Not at all. In fact, they won’t even speak to me right now. So I thought, maybe I could get that drink you offered? I mean…if there is any left. You’re tearing it up, aren’t you?” Lexi asks as she walks over, then plops down on the edge of the bed, folding one leg under her.
I move over and pass her the bottle, unable to keep my eyes from roaming down her body. The t-shirt she’s wearing is baggy but comfortable sleepwear, and I’m a jackass for being a little disappointed when it rides up her hips and I see the lines of her panties. Her breasts jiggle freely under the cloth as she tips my bottle, then snorts and chokes before passing it back while covering her mouth.
“Jesus, Torin. What is that cheap shit?” she coughs. “You can do better than that!”
“I like it,” I say defensively, clutching it to my chest with a grin before taking another drink. “I couldn’t always afford the finer things in life, you know,” I tell her as I sweep my arm to encompass the barely furnished bedroom.
“Yeah.” Once Lexi regains her breath, she catches my gaze and stares at me, trying to read my face. Finally, she says, “I just wanted to come by and tell you...thanks, for everything today.” Before I can reply, she raises a hand, then continues. “Also, you know, if you need to talk or something…I’d be willing to hang out and listen. I’m worried about you.”
That catches me off guard, and we just stare at each other awkwardly until I break the moment by handing her back the bottle with a grin. “Stop worrying about me,” I tell her. “You just focus on Liam. We’ll go get that test done tomorrow, and then we’ll figure things out. Sound good?”
Lexi nods while trying to choke down another sip of Evan Williams. She tries to hold it in but ends up having a coughing fit just as War comes stomping into the room, unannounced.
“Hey, everything okay in here?” War asks, sounding out of breath.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Lexi breathes heavily. “I was just heading to bed. Goodnight you two,” she says, giving us a wave as she leaves the room, pulling the door closed behind her.
“So…you getting settled down for bed, br
other?” War asks me. He seems uncomfortable; and after I stare at him silently for a few moments, he continues. “Look, Chase called me, okay? We’re all worried about you,” he admits. “We’ve been right here with you, through all of this, and each of us have been in some dark spots in our lives. We’re here for you, Torin. You’re never alone.”
“I’m certainly noticing that tonight,” I observe wryly. “Been a revolving door of visitors in here.”
“Well, yeah, but…I mean, I’m gonna let you get some sleep,” War stammers before setting his jaw. “But first I’m going to go put up that bottle, and I’m…I’m gonna hold your gun tonight.”
My first instinct is to get up and kick my brother’s ass right back down the hallway; but when I look into his face, I see something that gives me pause. It’s not his determination or his worry, it’s…pain. Pain he’s feeling for me, sharing with me. I recognize the look on his face, and the shine in his eyes for what it is. He’s terrified he might lose me, and with all he and I have been through, I understand his emotion. I feel the same way about him. Instead of arguing, I nod and set the bottle on the nightstand.
“I was done with that anyway. Probably a good idea for you to hold onto my pistol tonight. Everyone knows guns and alcohol don’t mix, right?”
“Yeah, man,” War says with an audible sigh of relief. “Nothing is going to go down out here, anyhow. Even if it did, I’m just across the hall if you need anything. I mean it, if you need something, just come get me, all right?”
I wave him off before I roll myself up in the covers. “Turn off the light when you’re done tucking me in,” I snort.
“Sleep well, brother,” War laughs as he leaves the room.
And for the first time in months, I actually do fall into a dreamless sleep for a few hours.
Chapter Fifteen
Torin
The next three days go by painfully slow. I want to believe Lexi, but it’s so hard after what the two of us have been through and who she is. Guess we’ll find out soon enough.