"Seriously?"
"Can you believe that? She thinks I'm a threat or something. Please," she drew out that last word. "So I'm running behind schedule because the grain delivery was late--"
"Don't worry about it. What do you have left to do?"
"I've got this stall to finish mucking out, and the next one over."
April picked up the one end of the wheelbarrow and rolled it toward the manure pile.
"What are you doing?" Cali asked.
"Helping you finish, what's it look like," April said in a warm tone. "Go ahead and start on the next stall. I'll wrap this one up as soon as I get back."
"You don't need to do that, although I appreciate it, but I can handle it on my own."
"I know you can, but I'd like to help."
When April returned, Cali swept out the stall she worked on and removed the water bucket and feed tub from the adjacent stall. April placed the wheelbarrow in front of Cali's stall.
Cali decided to use the shovel to clean out the manure and wet bedding, leaving the pitchfork for April.
"So, how much time did your roommate give you to find another place?" April said, as she spread the cleaner bedding over the floor. Since it felt thin, she grabbed a whole bale of straw.
"Not much--a couple of weeks. It's my fault really. I never signed a formal lease agreement with him. I didn't think I needed to. Goes to show one never knows. I'll find something though, I'm not that worried."
April could tell by the sound of Cali's voice that she was worried. "I'll ask Corrine to keep an eye out for you at the real estate office," she said as she fluffed up the fresh straw with the pitchfork.
"I appreciate that, April. Thanks."
"No problem." In the recesses of April's mind, the idea of renting their spare bedroom to Cali emerged, though she said nothing. She'd have to discuss it with Corrine first. They could use the extra money, with the real estate market slump not letting up, and they could help Cali out at the same time. But she also knew renting didn't come without its own set of problems, and other than Cali's work ethic, she didn't know much about her on a personal level. "Hey, how are your other two jobs going? You still working at the animal hospital two nights a week and teaching those art classes at the elementary school on Wednesdays?"
"I am, and I love it. It's a shame so many schools are cutting back on art and music programs though. They're thinking of canning the program there next year. They tell you the supplies are too costly, that the kids aren't interested in it anymore--crap like that. I think the kids are plenty interested, they simply need some motivation."
"If they end the art program, maybe it'll make it easier for you to decide which career path to follow."
"I don't think so. I'm torn because I love working with animals and I think I'd make a good vet, but then I love working with the kids too. I thought I'd have it figured out by now though. That was the whole point of coming out here--to find myself and find direction."
"Give it some more time. I'm sure you'll make the right decision. Besides, better to take the time now than to jump headfirst into something you'll regret later."
THOUGH THE WORK week passed without further incident, Halie was not herself. She tried not letting the vandalism event get to her, but she wasn't as successful as she'd hoped. She became quieter and withdrawn, distant emotionally once again from Sam. She hadn't expressed an ounce of excitement over going to the concert since the night Sam gave her the tickets.
Lunch was spent eating sandwiches in silence across from one another. Sam couldn't stand the quiet anymore. "Are you still up to going to the concert tonight?" she asked.
"I don't know. I've been thinking about it all morning," Halie said, closing the lid to the pickle jar. "What about the house? What if something happens again while we're out? Maybe it's too soon."
"Believe me, I wouldn't be heartbroken about not going, but I think it'd be a mistake. I'm upset about what happened too, but I'll be damned if I let this get the better of us. We shouldn't give anyone that kind of power," Sam said as her cheeks turned flush.
Halie hesitated a moment. She read her lover's reassuring eyes. "You're right. We should go. Screw whoever did this. Jake will watch out for the house and extra patrols are still ongoing, so we should be okay." Halie's words came out sounding strong, but inside worry prevailed.
AFTER THE CONCERT, Halie lay in bed next to Sam with her hand on Sam's chest. "That concert was so powerful, suggestive, and beautiful. It felt like he was singing to the two of us. It made me forget about everything else for a while."
"I know what you mean, I felt it too. I had a hard time keeping my hands off you during the performance and making love to you right there."
"I'm sure that would have raised some eyebrows." Halie said. "I wish I felt like I had the energy to reciprocate that thought."
"Maybe the energy will come to you," Sam teased. She nibbled on Halie's ear.
Halie twisted away. "Under other circumstances, I know it would, and you'd be in big trouble, but as soon as we pulled up to the house, I could see that damn writing in my mind on the garage door again. That did it for me. I can't relax. I thought I could by now, but I can't."
Although disappointed her charm wasn't enough to win Halie over, Sam tried comforting her. "It's only been a week. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. I've got news that might help in that regard anyway. Mom called earlier today when you were in the shower."
"Your mom?"
Sam indicated agreement.
"How's she doing?"
"She's fine. She was sorry to hear about what happened to us, but said we should stay strong. I told her we were."
"Well, we're trying," Halie said.
"She mentioned that my brother Matt was coming to visit her at the end of the month with my two nieces, Jessie and Katelynn, and she asked us to come for that week too. Or, if we couldn't stay the week, then at least a few days. She very much wants to meet you and thinks it would be great for you to meet part of the family too."
"Really? She definitely wants to meet me?"
"Of course she does. She doesn't keep asking for the heck of it. She knows we're busy and all, but she said it'd be nice to get to know you and see, in the flesh, who's stolen her daughter's heart away," Sam said.
Halie gave Sam a soft tap on the chest. "She didn't say that."
Sam kissed Halie on the cheek. "No, she didn't say that last part, but she said to tell you she loves you and hopes we'll consider the visit."
"I'd love to go, but I don't know. What about Jake and the gallery? I'd only have a week after we'd get back before the opening."
"I thought you said you were ahead of schedule?"
"I am, but you never know what might come up."
"I thought about Jake too, and figured I could call April and Corrine and see if they'd consider taking him for a week."
"What about Lula-bell?" Halie asked.
"Jake doesn't pay much attention to cats. I'm not sure why that is, but they don't seem to bother him."
"That's not what you told the deputy."
"I only brought up the cat as another reason to stay in the house. But to play it safe, if April and Corrine agree, I figured I could take him over there for a test-run to see how he does."
"We could use a break. This might work out. And I would love to finally meet your family."
"Great, Mom will be thrilled. The only sticking point now will be to try and convince the chief to let me go. It would have been easier if Matt and the kids were visiting at the end of September, but I guess because of school, they can't."
"Hopefully he'll be okay with it." Halie moved sideways and pulled Sam's arm around her. "You okay with only holding me tonight?"
"Yeah, that's fine." Sam was truthful. Although she would rather have been making love to Halie, she was content. She held her partner close in her arms and felt her breath next to her until they fell asleep.
THE NEXT MORNING turned out to be a beauty. The air was
a dry seventy-eight degrees and the sun shone bright. Sam got out of bed before Halie, and made coffee and waffles for their Sunday breakfast, along with a small bowl of fruit salad. A short while later, Halie joined Sam at the kitchen table.
"I'm tired. I don't think I slept very well last night," Halie said.
"Morning to you too."
"I'm sorry. I think I'm still half asleep. Morning." Halie leaned over and gave Sam a kiss on the cheek. "Breakfast looks great. Thanks."
"You're welcome. Not only didn't you sleep well last night, but you tossed and turned like a guppy flailing in a near empty pool of water."
"That bad, huh?"
"Yeah, that bad." Sam sipped her coffee. "You want to tell me about it?"
"There's nothing to tell. I don't remember the dreams, really, although I do remember the sensation of being chased in one of them, but I don't know who I was running from. I don't remember getting caught either though."
"At least that's a plus. Maybe in your dream you should stop running, and when whoever's chasing you catches up to you, you kick the crap out of them."
Halie laughed for a brief second. "Easier said than done."
"Well, it is your dream after all. Or just add me to it and I'll kick their butts," Sam said.
"I'll give it a try next time."
"Good. Have you looked outside yet? It's gorgeous out," Sam said.
"No, I haven't actually."
"I thought maybe we could go for a hike today. The temperature's perfect and Jake would love it too."
"I don't know. I'm kind of tired. I might rest for a while and then head to the gallery. You go with Jake though. He would love it."
Sam felt a twinge of pain in her heart. "If you're tired, why go to the gallery? I thought we could spend some time together. I miss you. We need more us time, like we had last night at the concert. Or at least I know I do."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing. You're hard to read sometimes though. I sense you're shutting yourself off again, and I don't want that to happen. And I don't understand why you'd rather go to work than spend time with me," Sam said.
"The gallery's not really work to me and it helps occupy my mind. I know you don't fully understand what I'm feeling, but when I'm in the house, I can't stop thinking about those nasty words etched behind the paint on our garage door and the hate behind them."
"That's why I suggested we get out and go for a hike."
"I don't feel safe enough to do that yet. I jump at every noise, Sam. At least in the gallery I can lock the doors and for a while, get wrapped up in my work."
"I'd hoped you'd feel safe enough with Jake and me by you, but I can't force you to go. I think it would help you though if you changed your thinking around a bit and trusted in me more."
"It's not a matter of trust."
"To some degree I think it is. It's also about thinking outside the small enclosure you seem to be encasing yourself in. I won't push, but I'm here if you need me," Sam said. She finished her fruit salad and went upstairs to take a shower, wondering how long it would take Halie to regain control of her life, and what else she could do for her to make that happen.
THE WORK WEEK passed as Sam predicted, with neither Halie nor Sam having much time to spend together. Halie remained engulfed in preparations for the gallery opening and the Jackson Hole Fall Art Festival, which wasn't due to kick off for a month. And with the increased summer traffic at the park, Sam was beyond busy and often came home later than usual or covered the night shift, neither of which helped matters as far as their relationship was concerned. Sam tried making small conversation during the week, but Halie was distant and not overly responsive. Although there were no more incidents at the house or elsewhere, and Sam was able to re-board Coco and Sugar in Charlie's stables, Halie seemed to be getting worse instead of better. Friday night Halie's restless and jerking motions in bed kept Sam up a good portion of the night. The next morning, Sam resolved she'd talk to Halie again, even if it meant Halie'd be mad at her.
When Halie awoke, Sam stroked her hair. "Morning."
"Morning. How long have you been awake?"
"Most of the night."
"Ugh, me again?" Halie asked.
"Yeah. Look, I know I said I wouldn't push you or anything, but I can't stand seeing you this way, and you walk around like I barely exist."
"This has nothing to do with you."
"It has everything to do with me. I have feelings too. I care about you, but you won't let me help you. Instead, you hide away or get angry with me instead of placing the anger where it should be."
Halie looked into Sam's eyes. "It's hard to fight a ghost. I'm sure I'd feel better if the sheriff's office at least had leads in the case. I'd feel even more wonderful if they arrested someone."
"I know that, but in the meantime, we have to take control of our own lives. You should have gone hiking with me and Jake on Sunday. Nothing happened to us and I think going would have helped you regain some of the confidence I think you may feel you've lost," Sam said.
"I do feel helpless most days," Halie said. She touched the side of Sam's face. "What's the weather supposed to be like this weekend?"
Sam smiled. "Rain this afternoon, but clearing and sunny tomorrow."
Chapter Six
ALTHOUGH THE FACT that additional patrols from earlier in the month ended and Halie still wasn't herself, Sam conceded she had been making some progress. During the week that followed, both remained busy, but Halie didn't appear angry at Sam anymore. Still, Sam looked more and more forward to their vacation in New Jersey as each workday passed, drawing them nearer.
A sunny day marked the last Sunday in July; perfect flying weather for their trip to New Jersey. Sam let Halie sit in the window seat of the airplane. Once Sam got comfortable next to her and fastened her seat belt, she watched the string of passengers, who had not yet found their seats or a space to stow their carry-on luggage, snail their way to the rear of the plane. Very few wore happy expressions. Sam was amazed at the amount of carry-on luggage people brought with them, especially with the continued increase in security and the limited overhead compartment space in most planes. She and Halie had not brought any carry-on luggage, opting to check it instead.
No fan of flying, Sam studied Halie and smiled. Halie's presence provided Sam comfort and reassurance that everything would be okay. In the row opposite and one behind them, Sam noticed the overhead compartment was so packed, that the last passenger to cram his things in couldn't get it closed. The flight attendant wriggled her way past Sam. She held a blanket in her hand. Sam watched the flight attendant stuff the blanket under a large roll-on carry-on bag whose handle was the apparent culprit of the problem. Sam appreciated the fact that if they now encountered turbulence during the flight, the overhead compartment would likely remain closed and no one would be injured. Problem resolved. Now they were that much closer to takeoff. Sam cracked her knuckles and realized Halie was staring at her.
"Are you okay? You seem a little tense?" Halie said.
"I do?" Sam rubbed the back of her neck. She tried to loosen her muscle's tightening grip. "A little I guess. It's been a while since I've flown."
"It'll be fine. I promise."
Sam knew she was right, but couldn't relax. She watched the activity on the tarmac instead. A van with big black dog paws printed all over it zipped past and around to the other side of the plane. A few seconds later, she heard the door to the luggage compartment under the plane latch into place, and the captain welcome them on board.
Moments later, when they were safely in the air, Sam breathed a sigh of relief and loosened her grip on the armrests. "You know it's strange, but from up here looking down, you realize what a small speck each one of us is on this planet. It makes me feel so insignificant."
Halie placed her hand on Sam's thigh and looked deep into her eyes. "Well, in no way are you insignificant to me," she whispered. "You're the most important person in my life."
/> Sam smiled back at her. The warmth of Halie's hand on her thigh spread throughout her body. She missed Halie's touch so much, at times her body ached. Lately, she hadn't felt like the most important person to Halie and wasn't sure if she still was. Hearing the words reassured her. She leaned over and whispered in Halie's ear, "I love you."
Halie leaned back. "I love you too."
Sam hoped a week away would do them both some much needed good. She couldn't wait to see her mom. She began to relax, closed her eyes, and fell asleep.
A short while later, Sam heard the popping of soda can tops and ice cubes clinking as they fell into plastic cups. Then the aroma of coffee drifted through the cabin. She opened her eyes. "What's this?"
"You were sound asleep when the flight attendants came by, but I got you some coffee. I figured you might like some when you woke up," Halie said.
"Thanks. I am thirsty." Once Sam sipped her coffee and the flight attendants passed by again to collect everyone's garbage, Sam noticed Halie grinning at her somewhat devilishly.
"Now what?" Sam said.
"Nothing."
"Oh no, it's more than nothing. I know that stare."
"It's nothing. It's only that the "˜fasten your seat belt' sign went off twenty minutes ago. I guess I was curious why you're still belted in so snug?"
"Are you kidding me? Oh no, I don't take my seat belt off until the plane lands."
"Why not? They wouldn't change the sign if it weren't safe," Halie said.
"Up here, anything can happen. Nope, I stay belted unless there's no way I can get around it." Sam scanned the area to make sure no one was listening. "I'd have to be turning yellow though before I'd get up. I so hate flying."
"Now there's a visual I could have done without. I'm sure you're not the only one on this plane that hates flying. Two thirds of the passengers probably don't like it either," Halie said. "All I can say is I'm glad you're the one who suggested we go. At least the preflight anticipation wasn't a killer. Be glad we were able to get a flight out of Jackson Hole and didn't have to drive two hours to Idaho Falls first."
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