by Stasia Black
I pick up my fitted blazer and slip it on, primly securing the two buttons at my waist. Then I turn on my conservative two-inch heels and head for his open door.
“Callie.” Jackson smiles when I arrive at his door. “How can I help you?”
“I was wondering if I might visit the machine shop? I’d like to see how the prototypes are made.” I shrug and smile an embarrassed smile. “It might seem silly, but I was hoping it might jog loose some ideas for how to improve reaction times if I can fully understand each and every component.”
His eyes brighten. “That’s a great idea. Not silly at all. Thinking outside the box is the only way we’re going to tackle this thing. I’ll call down so they know you’re coming.”
I force myself to smile back. “Thanks. I tend to take things in slowly. My process is to stew on problems.” I look down demurely before looking back up and meeting his eyes. “Do you think it would be possible to change my clearance so I could visit the shop whenever I want?”
He holds my gaze for just a second longer than is comfortable before nodding slowly. “Of course. I look forward to hearing any and all of your thoughts.” His head dips and his eyebrows go up slightly, as if there’s more significance to the words than just talking about drones and prototypes.
I can’t keep his gaze. I look at the ground. Shit. What am I doing?
You’re doing what you have to, that’s what.
Nothing bad, I hurry to assure myself against that other voice in my head. I’m just covering all contingencies. I’m being smart this time. I’m not Gentry’s marionette. I’m fucking not.
I’ll do this my way. But the roller coaster, the fucking roller coaster. There’s no getting off it, and in two weeks, I better have figured a fucking miraculous way out of this.
“Thanks again.” I turn to leave when Jackson’s voice stops me.
“Callie. I also wanted to ask you about something.”
I swing back around to look at him. Only to find him running his hand through the back of his hair and looking slightly… Oh my God, is Jackson Vale nervous?
“You know what, never mind. I shouldn’t be asking this during business hours.”
“Okay, now I have to know.” I prop a hand on my hip just inside the doorway.
“It’s just that, well…” Red creeps up his neck and he readjusts himself in his chair. “I was wondering if you wanted to maybe, that is, Christ, I really shouldn’t be asking this during business hours.”
“Just spit it out.” It’s probably mean, but I can’t help laughing a little bit at how uncomfortable he looks.
He narrows his gaze at me but does finally manage to get his request out. “In a completely non-professional manner, not as your boss but only as Jackson, I was wondering if you’d be interested in spending the weekend with me at my cabin about an hour away at a little vineyard.”
Wow. Um. What do I say to that? A weekend with Jackson. Alone. Secluded.
“I know they say silence is golden, but you’re leaving me hanging here,” he says when I’ve been quiet for what is probably an awkwardly long period.
“Yes.”
Shit. Did I just say that?
Dimple appearance alert. “Great. You spend Friday evenings with your son, right?”
I nod, surprised and moved that he remembers.
“So I’ll pick you up at nine on Saturday morning.” It’s a statement. He’s so self-assured now after his momentary attack of anxiety. So put together. Which makes it all the more incredible that he debases himself to submit to me.
“Great,” I mimic. A smile covers my inner grimace. I shouldn’t be continuing whatever this… thing is going on between us. Not right now anyway. It’s too messy, too complicated with Gentry breathing down my neck.
At the same time, even as I stare at Jackson, all I want to do is walk over there, grab him by his tie, and force him to the floor. A cool sense of calm washes down my body at just the mental image of it. Each tense muscle in my shoulders relaxes at the thought of him on his knees, head bowed before me.
I don’t even know quite how to describe the sensation. It’s like a kind of euphoria, that instant relaxation and stress relief that sweeps down my body, starting from behind my forehead, down to my shoulders, chest, belly, resonating with extra vibration in my groin, and then continuing down my legs all the way to my toes. And that’s just at the thought of dominating him. What would an entire weekend bring?
I need it.
I need it now more than ever.
“Callie,” Jackson’s voice is low and when I look back at his eyes, I can see them dark with obvious lust. He’s picked up on my internal thoughts. Guess I haven’t bothered masking my emotions as well as I want.
“I have to be getting back to it. Work, that is.” I lift an eyebrow and shoot him a sly smile before I turn and hurry out the door. The smile even feels genuine. Which only leaves me feeling more confused than ever.
Fifteen
CALLIE
Saturday dawns sunny and only slightly cool. The temperate climate in the Bay Area means that even though it’s October, it’s in the sixties and will warm up to probably seventy-five by mid-afternoon.
At seven-thirty in the morning, I find myself doing something I would never have believed of myself—I’m waiting at the window for a guy. Of course I don’t admit that out loud. I just have the curtain conveniently open while I drink my morning coffee with Shannon. I can’t believe that she too is willingly up so early on a Saturday—and her for no other reason than she wants to get an early start on the day.
She’s given up giving up caffeine. She’s back to drinking the characteristic black sludge she’s been addicted to since college. Sunil keeps buying her fancy boxes of caffeine-free tea and even a bag of this organic pretend coffee made out of chicory, but other than that week and a half where she made a valiant attempt, none of it’s been able to sway my coffee-loving sister. Thank God. It’s unnatural not to have a few vices.
“So,” Shannon says, sipping her coffee while flipping through the news on her phone—she’s the only person I know who reads BBC News articles in the morning instead of skimming Facebook like the rest of us mere mortals. “A weekend getaway. This is getting serious.”
I shrug her off and pour some more sugar and creamer into my coffee. After already watering it down heavily. It’s either this or brew a separate pot from the mud she drinks.
“Nah, we just wanted to get away from the noise of the city. He has a place down in wine country and after going all that way, it seemed silly to turn around and come back the same day. Might as well stay the night.” Yeah. All of that came pouring out of my mouth way too fast.
One of her eyebrows arches.
I ignore her and go back to looking out the window as I drink my coffee. It’s still strong, but sweet enough that it tastes pretty damn yummy.
“How are things between you and Sunil?” I ask.
“Because that’s not an obvious deflection. You know I never thought it was a good idea to date your boss. That said,” she rubs her thumb along the rim of her coffee mug while eyeing me, “whatever relationship you’ve been having hasn’t seemed to impact your work. Whether you guys can manage to keep that up or not, well…”
Yeah. I never told Shannon that Jackson and I stopped seeing each other. I didn’t want to listen to any of her I told you so’s. Nor do I especially want to hear any more of her thoughts on the subject now.
I smile sweetly. “You’ve been spending a lot of time at Sunil’s place. I saw how good you were at CrossFit the other day. As much as you complain, I think you even go on days when I’m not dragging your ass there.” I do the eyebrow raise thing back at her. “Seems like someone’s concerned with looking good for her man. Things must be getting hot and heavy between you two.”
A slight blush stains her cheeks. Shannon and I have never been the kind of sisters who do this—the whole gossiping about boys thing. We’re just learning how and it still hits my
funny bone every time I see her like this.
“He’s well…” she looks down at her coffee, her blush growing deeper. Slam dunk—distraction managed. “There’s so much to learn about the Zen lifestyle.”
I can’t help laughing. “So that’s what you do? Spend all your time talking about meditating?” I waggle my eyebrows up and down. Then a thought strikes me and I set my coffee cup down on the table so hard, it almost sloshes over the sides. “Oh my God, is he into that, what do they call it? Tarantula stuff? Like with sex?”
“It’s tantric,” Shannon corrects and immediately raises her coffee cup to cover the bottom half of her face, clearly embarrassed as hell. “And that’s none of your business.”
“Oh my God,” I slap the table. “You knew the right word for it! You’re totally having tarantula sex with your boyfriend!” I grab my abandoned phone off the table. “I’m looking up what tantric sex is now. Is he like downward-doggie-styling you?”
“That’s not what it is at all!” She jumps up, completely red-faced and tries to grab my phone as I start typing furiously with my thumbs. I have to put my body in the way so she can’t get at the phone.
“Give it to me!”
“Never!” I laugh. “I’ve got to see what kind of freaky-deeky stuff my sister’s getting in to.”
“What are you, twelve? Give me the phone.” She’s all but crawling over my back at this point to get to the phone, but I curl up so I can still see my screen. I manage to type in ‘tantric’ and hit search.
“Oh look, a Cosmo article on eight tantric positions to heat things up in the bedroom,” I read off, laughing so hard my stomach hurts. I manage to click the link in spite of the fact that Shannon’s hands are prying at my arms to get at the phone.
“Oh my God, look at the Lover’s Lap Dance. Or the,” I gasp for breath through my giggles, “Penetrative Pretzel. Wow, you’ve gotta be really limber to manage that one. Maybe you should squeeze in that yoga class after all.”
Shannon chokes. “You little—” Then her body straightens up. Still slightly out of breath, she points to the window. “Speaking of lovers.”
I uncurl and my head pops up to look out the window like a gopher. A fancy car idles by the curb in front of the apartment building. It’s not Jackson’s usual town car and driver but a shiny silver Volvo instead.
A text pings on the phone I’ve got clutched so tight in my hand.
JACKSON: I’m outside.
“Dang,” Shannon’s voice is more sober. “You’re really falling for this guy. You should see your face.”
I look away from the window and go for my bag, but not before sticking my tongue out at Shannon.
“Brat,” she says.
“Sex fiend.”
“I know where you sleep,” she shoots back.
That makes me laugh. I stop on my way toward the door and turn back and give Shannon a huge hug. “Love you, sis.”
“Oh get out of here,” she grumbles.
“Go drink some of that sludge you call coffee,” I say as I pull back, just far enough so I can plant a loud smooching kiss on her cheek.
“Ugh.” She pulls away from me, rubbing at her cheek.
I’m laughing all the way out the door. This sister thing is actually pretty damn cool now that we’re finally trying. Who knew? I heft my weekend duffel bag higher on my shoulder as I jog down the steps of my apartment building toward… my stride breaks momentarily and both my eyebrows raise in question when I get closer.
Sam, Jackson’s driver, is nowhere in sight. “I thought you said you didn’t drive.”
“Sam’s been giving me lessons. Only a few traffic cones were sacrificed in the endeavor.” He smiles down at me.
I huff out a laugh which seems louder than normal in the quiet morning. Jackson walks around the car and opens my door. He takes my arm before I can sit and pulls me to him.
“You look beautiful this morning.”
The low, intense quality of his voice, the feel of his muscled chest against me, and just… him… being in his proximity. I meet his eyes and the zing hits.
God, the day together just started. How can I already be feeling so much? The butterflies riot in my stomach and I swallow.
I’m wearing dark maroon leggings and an oversized blue sweater, figuring I should go for a comfortable, friendly vibe. But the way he’s looking at me, you’d think I was prancing around in the sheerest lingerie.
“Hi.” That’s the only word I manage to find in the moment. I’ve had this man on his knees, but he can still just fucking overwhelm me. How is that fair?
The dimple appears. “Hi.” He drops down and kisses my nose. Then he grabs my duffel off my shoulder and goes to put it in the trunk.
Wow. I sit inside. I can’t believe I’m a little punch-drunk off something as simple as a kiss on the nose. But then I’m distracted by looking at my surroundings, because damn, this is some car.
The leather seat forms itself to my body and I can’t help but let out an audible sigh as I sink into it and close my eyes. I couldn’t sleep much last night. I was nervous about the trip, yes, but it was also my visit with Charlie that kept me up.
He was healthy enough from all outward appearances. I mean, it seems like he’s eating and there aren’t any obvious signs of neglect or anything. All the nice feelings from moments ago with Jackson evaporate.
I prop my elbow on the door and rub my temple. Because as far as everything else… I just can’t tell. He flipped out with excitement when he saw me but started getting progressively more out of sorts and whiny as our hour and a half together came to a close.
It’s frustrating as fuck because I’m not allowed to ask about what it’s like at his dad’s since the damn supervisor was there standing over us and recording everything I say. Which is so fucking stupid, because it’s what parents are supposed to do. They help their children transition during difficult periods in life.
How the hell is Charlie supposed to understand what’s going on when the parent he’s loved and known ever since he was born can’t even fully explain why she’s allowed only a paltry two hours with him a week? Who knows what the hell David or his psycho wife is telling him the rest of the time? There’s no supervisor watching their interactions with Charlie.
I blow out a long hiss of air and try to settle my suddenly raging emotions. Just a little longer. A few weeks and I’ll have my baby back. As long as Gentry doesn’t fuck things up.
I let my forehead drop hard against the window. That emotional roller coaster? Yep, that’s pretty much every minute of my life these days. Up and down and upside down. I jump only slightly when Jackson’s door opens and he slides into his seat. “Ready?”
“Totally.” I swallow hard but don’t turn his way. I can’t quite put on a cheerful façade yet. The next second, I feel the pressure of Jackson’s warm hand on my forearm.
“How was your time with your son last night?”
Damn him and his intuitive nature. I can’t help the way my body stiffens. Jackson pulls his hand back like a pot has just burned him.
“I’m sorry,” he hurries to say. “It’s not my place and if you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fi—”
“No,” I turn and face him. “It’s not that.” Shit. “It’s just—” I look out the front windshield at the street lined with apartment buildings and the gas station that’s seen better years. Then I let out a long sigh. “I really miss Charlie. I hate not knowing if he’s doing okay. Like, really okay. He’s always upset when it’s time for me to leave.”
There. At least I found something true to say. I doubt there’s a way to come out of this with my integrity intact, but hell if I can’t be as honest as I can in the meantime.
The fuck of it is, I want to tell Jackson everything. For the first time since David, I think I’ve found a man I actually trust. That moment of intimacy outside the car? I want more of that, all the time.
Jackson reaches out again, just long enough to grab my hand and
squeeze it before turning on the car. “You have some of the best lawyers in the business.” His clear blue eyes lock on mine. Usually they’re so dark I can barely make out the color of his eyes, but in the morning sunlight, the irises look like the deep blue of the Mediterranean Sea.
Why does he have to look at me like that? God, when all is said and done, we still barely know each other. A few intense fucks and a scattering of days together. But he looks at me like… like he sees me down to my bones and then even deeper than that.
He takes my hand again, like he can’t keep himself from going two minutes without touching me. He brings it to his mouth and brushes his lips across my knuckles, back and forth, his breath warming my skin before he finally presses his mouth down in a firm kiss.
Christ. This man. Even a kiss on my hand sends shivers skittering up and down my spine. Not to mention the warmth that immediately rekindles in my lower belly.
It would be wrong to jump him in his fancy car on the curb right in front of my apartment. Wouldn’t it? I lick my lips.
When he leans over into my space, I think he’s having exactly the same idea and the spark between my legs bursts into full flame. Only to realize that he’s just grabbed my seatbelt and is buckling me in. He pulls back just as I was about to reach out and grab his face for a quick kiss.
I drop my hands and let a growl of frustration. “Oh, you’re going to pay for that.”
He laughs full out as he puts the car in gear. “I have no doubt.” He flashes me a grin as we pull out onto the street.
It’s a sunny morning as we turn onto the 101 heading south. Even early on a Saturday there’s plenty of traffic. That’s Silicon Valley for you. Few people slow down long enough to take a breath, much less a day off. And when they do, it’s only to play as hard as they work.
Jackson glances my way. “How is—”
“Let’s just listen to music for the drive,” I cut him off. I don’t know what he was going to ask. How is my day going? More about my son? Whether he’s aiming for polite car chatter or more meaningful dialogue, I’m not in the mood.