by Jamie Knight
And I told her that it sounded like a great date, which was true. But I tried to tune her out and focus on my work. I had finally gotten the judge’s decision in the case I had been waiting to hear back on, and it went favorably for my client, but the other side had immediately filed an appeal, so I had to prepare an answer.
I had also managed to help Judy pull off a win in the case she had with Drake Masterson, but that was only a discovery dispute, and now we had to get ready for trial, which she had told Masterson I needed to do with her, because of how we had aced the brief we had done together. He had allowed it, but only because that client paid handsomely and it would bring in more money to the firm if both of us were working on the case. I was glad that Judy and I had impressed him – a notoriously difficult partner to work with, around here – but the good result meant more work on my plate.
You would think I would be so busy at work that I would be able to forget about Ted, but you’d be wrong. I had thought that, myself – maybe self consciously I was burying myself in work as a coping mechanism, which was something that was a habit of mine – but I was definitely wrong.
I tried not to focus on Judy’s minute-by-minute retelling of the date she had gone on, so that I didn’t snap at her out of selfishness. But our co-workers were a different story. All of them were interested in Judy’s love life and of course I always wanted to be a supportive friend, but I wasn’t in the mood for it today.
“Men are pigs,” I said, almost spitting my words as I spoke.
I had finally had enough of hearing about how great some of them could be. Thanks to our colleagues’ interest in the subject matter, Judy had been droning on for over half an hour and I guess I just couldn’t take it anymore.
“Whoa, what’s got your panties in a bunch?” asked Judy.
“Nothing,” I told her, and got up and left the room before I made even more of an ass out of myself in front of my co-workers.
I knew it wasn’t Judy’s fault. She was entitled to be happy about a good date, and to tell everyone who wanted to listen. I just couldn’t one of those people right now.
I went to the gym that is on the twentieth floor of our office building and tried to get my frustration out by hitting the punching bag and running on the treadmill. After a shower, I returned to work, but first I stopped by Judy’s office on my way back to mine.
She was the only one in there now, and everyone else had gone back to work. I wasn’t sure if it was because of my outburst, or if they had finally tired of hearing the details, or maybe they just didn’t want to get in trouble for not working enough, which would be a reasonable assumption to make, but I was still a bit surprised, because I thought they would hang on her every word, forever.
“Hey Judy,” I told her, knocking softly on her door. “I’m sorry about earlier. I was out of line. I meant what I said about being happy that you had a good date.”
“No problem, girl,” she said, with a shrug and a smile. “I get the frustration. You’ve told me you swore off dating and I totally get it. I should have thought better about bragging about my own great date when you are no longer going on them.”
“Well, I know I said that…” I began, and she winked at me and said, “Okay, Missy. Your turn to dish!”
“I didn’t mean to break my promise to stop dating but everything happened so fast. I went out with this…”
I trailed off, not wanting to admit the name or circumstances, since it was all so crazy and I really should have known better. But then, after seeing the patient yet curious look on Judy’s face, I continued.
“…this guy, the other night, and he promised me that he would call me. Now, here we are a few days later and still no call. Don’t be stupid and fall for a line from a guy like I did. I should have known that he was too good to be true. Carriage rides and shutting down restaurants. Ha. I’m telling you, Judy. Don’t get your hopes up too high because these guys will make you think that they are perfect and will be lying the whole time. Just don’t trust them.”
Judy raised her eyebrows behind me, and I turn around to see that some of our looky-loo colleagues had gathered back around, to hear the dirt on my date this time.
But they all fell silent and everyone seemed to scatter after my last comment. Or perhaps it was because I was shooting them a death glare, and so was Judy.
Some of them looked at each other with raised eyebrows and said, “Carriage rides?” as they all dispersed and went back to their own offices or cubicles.
Oops.
I guess when I said “carriage rides,” they failed to see what the problem was.
I realized I had no right to be complaining after the perfect date, but I was just mad that he hadn’t called so that we could go on another date as he’d promised.
Judy motioned me over to a client chair on the side of her desk, which was scattered with briefs, as, unlike me, she was not a very organized person – she was more of a creative genius who worked on the fly – and told me to sit down.
First, I closed her office door, so that no one else could eavesdrop again. I guess no one at this firm had any real work to do. Not that I could talk, since here I was, well, talking to Judy instead of working. It wasn’t like me, but I had to get this off my chest.
I had been trying to keep myself busy with work so that I could distract my mind from the deep disappointment that I felt at being lied to and used. But clearly I needed to vent and face my feelings.
“First, you gotta tell me who this guy is,” she said, as if she somehow knew. I mean, Judy was a smart woman and I’m sure she realized this wasn’t just any run of the mill guy. “You swore off dating but broke that commitment to yourself for this guy – and I noticed your hesitancy to tell me who he is – so he must be something special. Some big shot, I’m guessing.”
I just looked at her for a minute, not sure if I should say anything.
“Is he a professional athlete?” she asked, after a few second passed and I had remained silent.
At this, I scrunched up my nose.
I had always hated sports. Gym was my least favorite subject, not only because the other girls teased me in the locker room for being overweight, but also because I had absolutely no hand-eye coordination. When we played dodge ball, I tried to get hit first so that I could just sit back down on the bench.
“A politician?” she asked. “Don’t tell me he’s married. What a scandal. You’d be like his secret mistress but it would come out down the road and be blasted all over the media. It’s a good thing he isn’t calling you back.”
“No,” I laughed, thinking it funny how Judy’s imagination could run away with her. “I would never be with a married man.”
“So, who is it?” she asked again. “Out with it. Please! I’m dying to know.”
“You’re never going to guess,” I told her.
“That much has been made clear. So just tell me.”
“Okay,” I told her, with a resigned sigh. “But you’re going to be very surprised.”
Her eyes were practically bugging out of her head by this point, and I decided to put her out of her misery by letting it out.
“It’s, um, Ted Roberts,” I told her.
Her face looked confused, as if she was trying to think of who that was. Then it lit up as if a lightbulb had gone off.
“The one from the article I sent you?” she exclaimed.
“Yep, that one,” I told her, and I couldn’t help but smile at how crazy it was, even though I knew it should never have happened.
“Woah, nice taste!” she said. “He’s absolutely loaded!”
“I know,” I told her. “With a face like a model’s. And you should see his six pack abs…”
“Woah!” she exclaimed again. “So you… did everything with him?”
“Yes,” I said, my cheeks reddening.
“Good job!” she said, but I felt a bit embarrassed.
“I know I shouldn’t h
ave hooked up with my fertility doctor, but it just seemed like there was such a chemistry between us. It seemed like it was meant to be, as silly as that sounds,” I admitted. “I just don’t understand why he hasn’t called, because I think he felt the connection too. But I guess he really is just a player, and I was naïve to think otherwise.”
“Well, I know you wouldn’t have done it if it didn’t feel right. There must really be something there for you to un-swear off dating, and especially in this kind of circumstance. You know, this might be a completely stupid question, but have you tried calling him?” asked Judy.
“Calling him?” I asked, shocked by the question. “Calling him and saying what? ‘Why did you lie and say that you were going to call me?’ What am I calling him for? That just seems really unladylike and needy.”
“Oh, stop it,” said Judy, waving a hand in my direction. “It’s not the 1950s, you know. In our day and age, it’s totally fine for the woman to make the first move.”
I thought that she was crazy. After making such a huge gesture and considering the fact that I had lost my virginity to him, calling him wouldn't be making the first move.
But it was time to make a follow-up appointment at the clinic and that would be a good excuse to see him. I could ask him then why he hadn’t called me. I wondered if it would be better to wait before or after the fertilization attempt to give him the third degree.
“I’ll call him,” I told Judy.
It took me a few more minutes to finally work up enough nerve to call the clinic. When I did, I was shocked to learn that my file – and my care – had been transferred to another doctor.
“Are you sure?” I asked the receptionist.
“Yes, ma’am,” she said. “But, don’t you worry; Dr. Amy Renfro is more than capable of helping you out. She’s an excellent doctor as well. They all are.”
“Okay. But I have a question. Maybe you don’t know the answer to it. But, do you know why I’ve been transferred to another doctor?”
“Overflow,” was the only answer I got.
Yeah, right, I thought.
It sounded fishy.
“So, would you like to schedule that next appointment?” the receptionist asked, sounding friendly and professional as she was ripping my heart out.
“No thanks,” I told her, before I quickly hung up the phone.
I no longer wanted to go back to that clinic, ever again.
“And like I said,” I said, turning back to address Judy. “Men are nothing but liars and will go through great lengths to tell lies.”
Judy hung her head and stared at the floor.
“I am so sorry for helping you get your hopes up about this guy,” she said. “From what you said, it seemed like he was really into you.”
“Yeah, I thought that he was, too,” I said. “But it seems like it was all just my imagination.”
Judy came over to where I sat on the other side of the desk and gave my shoulder a hard squeeze, looking at me with the saddest eyes I had ever seen. I didn’t want her to pity me, but I knew that was what she was feeling.
I pitied myself. I knew there was good reason why I never wanted to open myself up to date someone and I kicked myself for breaking my own unwritten rule. Because I knew that, with my bad luck, it would always end up being tragic for me.
“Thank you so much for all your advice and support,” I told her. “You really are a good friend.”
“No problem,” she said.
At least a silver lining is that I had finally made a good friend, even if we had started as work colleagues.
I told myself to focus on the positive and to snap out of my bad mood. I picked up one of the briefs from her desk and tried to focus on it, thinking that maybe we should work together on more cases, and I could immerse myself in work instead of worrying about my own problems.
It was a case about divorce.
Our firm didn’t do many family law cases – only very high profile, expensive ones – so of course I’d pick up one of the few files about broken relationships that was lying around the office.
Just my luck, I thought.
As I tried reading the words, they started swimming before my eyes. I had to push the brief away before it got ruined by tears falling on the pages.
“Bye, Judy, gotta get back to work,” I said, hurriedly leaving her office before she could see me crying. “Thanks again.”
“Good luck,” she said, and I could only imagine the thoughts she was thinking. I was sure they were something along the lines of, “I still can’t believe you’re banging your fertility doctor.”
But she was too nice to say it.
I felt like a fool for getting my hopes up to this extent.
It had only been one day.
Yes, it had been the date of my dreams. But this should have been a sign that no matter how great the guy seemed, it would always end badly, and I should just stay focused on my career.
At least I knew that my job would never break my heart.
I called and ordered some Chinese food from my favorite Chinese restaurant. I would stop by the grocery store to pick up a gallon of mint double chocolate chip ice cream and a bottle of wine.
Then I could work on more of my cases at home. Where at least I could drown my sorrows in some delicious food and tasty alcohol.
Chapter Eleven - Anne
It had been weeks since the date that changed everything and nothing at all and I couldn’t help but feel a deep emptiness. But I also had that feeling that something was really off and I couldn’t quite put my finger on what it was.
It wasn’t until I was elbow deep in my third carton of ice cream for the week that I realized what had been missing: my period.
Now, I was freaking out.
Really, really freaking out.
I made my way down to the convenience store for the fifth time that day.
“Back again, I see,” said the attendant, eyeing the contents of the conveyor belt.
There was a pack of gum, incense, and two home pregnancy tests.
He looked at me judgmentally but didn’t say anything as he rung up my order.
Oh, my God, I thought.
Just weeks ago, I had been hoping that the fertilization had taken effect. And then I had been so disappointed to find out that I wasn’t pregnant. But now this was a completely different set of circumstances.
As soon as I got home, I took both tests.
They both came back positive, yet again.
I stared at the blue plus signs, wondering exactly how all of this was about to change my world.
I had to call Judy and see what she had to say.
“Judy, I’m pregnant,” I said, as soon as she picked up the phone.
“Congratulations,” she nearly yelled, sounding more excited about the news than I was. “I know that you had been hoping that the IUI would work. I’m glad to hear that it finally paid off, and you don’t even need to move on to IVF to get pregnant.”
“No, you don’t understand,” I said, nerves starting to creep up into my voice. “This didn't happen with the fertilization process. This happened after my date with Dr. Roberts. The asshole who promised me the world after our first date and then never called me back for another one. Not to mention transferring my case to someone else at his practice so I couldn’t get ahold of him after that. That asshole is the father of my baby.”
The line fell silent as the weight of my words started to sink in.
“Whoa,” I said Judy, sounding like someone had knocked all of the wind out of her. “Well, what did he say when you told him?”
“That’s just the thing,” I said. “I just took the test and found out myself. And then I called you. I haven’t told anyone else.”
Judy sucked her teeth dramatically.
I could already hear her judgment of me over the phone.
“Well, why not tell him?” she asked. “If he’s the father of you
r child, then he has the right to know.”
I thought about it for a minute and decided against it.
“Honestly, I don’t think that I can,” I admitted. “I am super excited about being pregnant and I kind of just want to bask in that for a while. I mean, after all of this time, I’m finally going to have a baby, just like I’ve been wanting to do for a long time. That is certainly something worth celebrating. The bad part about all of this is the fact that I got pregnant by someone who took my virginity and then ditched me. And when I think about that, it’s pretty depressing. So, I don’t think that I can call him. At least not any time soon.”
“I can understand that,” said Judy, sounding apologetic. “That Dr. Roberts is totally a bastard for what he did, and he definitely deserves to hear that. In fact, I feel bad for even indirectly referring you to the asshole. Sorry about that, by the way.”
“It’s not your fault,” I insisted. “I know you were just trying to help. I’m the dummy who went and slept with him.”
“True. But still, I felt guilty. Anyway, back to the matter at hand. Telling this asshole about his kid. If the shoe were on the other foot and you had a child out there in the world, wouldn’t you want to know about it?”
I could hear the desperation in her voice.
She fervently believed this was the right thing to do.
And I knew that she was right about that, no matter how much I wished she wasn’t.
“Yes,” I said, reluctantly.
“Well, then maybe you need some time to process things, but when you’re ready, you should tell him.”
I knew that Judy had a great point, but I wondered if I would ever be ready.
Chapter Twelve - Ted
Sitting at my desk in the middle of the afternoon while everyone else ventured off to enjoy the beautiful weather only made me think of Anne more. I was surprised and a little disappointed that I still hadn’t heard from her since the night that I had taken her out.