by Jamie Knight
“Okay, okay, here,” Carl said, giving the dog a bit of bacon, before laying the tray out on my lap.
“I could get used to this,” I said, surveying the spread he had managed to fit onto the tray.
“Me, too,” he said, kissing me on the cheek, making me blush.
“You’re up early,” I said.
“Just finishing off the copy for your advertisement,” he said, picking up one of the two glasses of apple juice from the tray.
“Do you ever sleep?”
“Oh, yeah, a good six hours,” he explained.
“You are supposed to sleep seven to eight hours a night,” I argued.
“According to whom?”
“Sleep experts,” I said.
“That’s just like for toddlers or something,” he said, taking another sip.
I was too sleepy and happy to argue with him about it and decided to just let it go. It wasn’t like he was wasting the extra time. Going by what I knew by Carl’s general philosophy, it made sense to me that he would see sleep as a necessary nuisance at best.
I still wasn’t quite sure what was happening with us or where we were going in the future, but it did seem like we were back together, despite my initial resistance, and back on the path we were always meant to take.
“Ba’kin,” Billy said, waking up.
Chapter Fourteen - Jinx
I’d never been really religious. Not like my parents professed to be, my mom doing a much more convincing job than my dad, who was two steps down from a mobster. Two steps from hell, as I liked to think about it.
Despite my general lack of spiritual conviction, I couldn’t help but feel that my soul, if there was such a thing, had been refreshed. I was being a proper dad to Billy and had more or less reconciled with Lila. I wasn’t sure how things would go after we had fucked, but the desire was undeniable on both sides. I didn’t know if we were back together, but it sure felt like it. Which also felt like how things should be.
The sense of healing and reconciliation started to influence my thinking more than I might have anticipated, and still on the high of having Lila accept me back into her arms, I wondered if it might be possible to reconcile with my dad. We had long been at odds and not for no reason. Conrad left a lot to be desired in terms of personal morals and hadn’t done much to make my childhood any easier, though it could be time to put that aside. I wasn’t a child anymore, and it was just possible that we could meet on the field of adulthood, a much more even plain, and find some common ground.
It would have been best to do it in person, though he would only insist that I meet him in his office, and there was no way I was going down to the strip. There was just far too much attention to everything I was trying to leave behind. I had already broken my celibacy with Lila. Though that had been mostly self-imposed for the purpose of focus and I was also determined to be faithful to her. She was the last woman I had fucked, in both senses of the word, and the last I ever planned to fuck. I was confident that I loved her.
The gambling and the booze were still waiting at the casinos for me, though, like panthers crouched to pounce, and there was no way that I was giving them the satisfaction. I had left all that behind me two years ago.
In addition to the temptation of vice, there was also a chance, small as it might be, that I might just punch my dad as soon as I saw him. I didn’t think so, but human psychology is a strange and volatile thing, and I might just lay him out before either of us knew what was happening. I had no doubt I could, with little risk of recourse except by his goons. The fact was I had been physically capable of kicking his ass since I finished my growth spurt at about sixteen. I just didn’t. Most likely out of a sense of respect for my mother, who still loved him for some as yet unexplained reason.
The phone was definitely the safest way. Lucky jumped up onto the couch beside me as I got my phone out to make the call. The pup was likely sensing my distress. He put his little head on my lap, and I scratched him behind the ear as I dialed.
I was on the fifth ring and about to hang up when suddenly my ear was filled with Dad’s deep, aggressive voice that could make someone wet their pants in terror just by saying ‘happy birthday.’ I know, it happened when I was five.
“Conrad Willcox,” Dad boomed, making my ears ring.
“Hey, Dad,” I said.
“Who is this?” Conrad asked in confusion.
“You’re son.”
“Jimmy?”
“No, the one you don’t like,” I clarified.
“Oh, Eric.”
“You accidentally pushed me off the roof while we were putting new shingles down.”
“Oh! Jinx! Where have you been, my boy?”
“Here, I mean, I’m in Vegas. I moved over into advertising.”
“Advertising! Sounds like a real conman,” he said with a chuckle.
Dad was always the sort to laugh at his own jokes. Though to be fair, if he didn’t, no one would.
“So, I’m told. Though you would know about that better than me.”
“That and everything else, Sonny boy. What are you doing back in my town, anyway?”
I sighed. “Just couldn’t stay away.”
“Try harder,” Dad said, the line going dead.
Coming from anyone else, I might have thought it was a threat. Coming from Dad, I had a strong suspicion that it was more of a polite suggestion. His version of one anyway.
So much for that idea.
Getting Lucky set up for the day, I got dressed and headed to work, stopping off at Lila’s office on the way. It was probably going overboard, but something in me just kept telling me to go talk to her, to make sure everything was okay. We’d had a perfectly pleasant morning after the day before. I just wanted to make sure my love didn’t have any regrets. I could almost hear the doubts hitting her after we had finished fucking.
“Hey,” she said, as I walked through the door at Desert Protect.
“Hey,” I replied, and we shared a soft peck on the lips.
“Everything okay? With everything?”
“Everything is fine,” she said, gently squeezing my hand.
“Billy is with Irene, that’s Aria’s grandma, as usual. How are you?”
I nearly told her about my moment of madness and calling my dad but decided better of it, not wanting to ruin her relatively good mood. I also wasn’t quite sure where we stood or if we were back together enough to burden her with such family drama.
The role of the advisor was filled by Cooper during the customary lull following lunch. We never really plan it, it just always seems to work out that way, the busiest hours always seeming to come in the three-hour block between nine and eleven. Then again, I was such a freak I tended to have the main bulk of my actual work done before going into the office in the morning. I really was that good at what I did, and there were advantages to only sleeping six hours a night. Like if I was asleep by ten, I managed to be awake and working by five.
“That is a tough one,” Cooper said, rubbing his chin like the philosopher he fancied himself to be.
“Don’t I know it.”
“All you can really do is give your dad time, I guess.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right.”
That was all I could do really, and it would probably be a long wait. It had taken almost a month to convince Lila to even think about getting back together, and Conrad was about a thousand times more stubborn than her.
I had Lila and Billy on my mind most of the day and made the somewhat bold decision to go and see them after work, even though we didn’t actually have a meeting arranged.
“Hi,” Lila said, surprised but not displeased to see me.
“Pizza?” I asked.
“You didn’t get another job.”
“No, I mean, would you like to go out for pizza.”
“Sure, I’ll just nip off and fetch our son.”
Vegas didn’t have the mo
st sterling reputation for pizza in the world, yet I had still managed to find a pretty decent place.
“This is really good!” Lila said again, reaching for her fifth slice.
Billy, a bit more restrained than his dear mother, contented himself with gnawing on a large bit of pizza crust, looking happy as can be.
“I was thinking. What would you think of coming to stay with me? You and Billy that is. I have to move in a month or so, but maybe we could pick a place together.”
“That might make sense,” Lila said, not committing either way.
It wasn’t quite a win, but it felt like it was, particularly in light of what her opinion of me had been not too long before. I was even hoping I could convince her to stay over again and had brought in some things for Billy to make it easier.
When we got back to my building, there was a large black car outside the door as we approached. I didn’t know exactly who it was but recognized the kind of car. I got ready in case I had to fight.
The doors opened. Conrad and my stepmother, Malina, got out. I could feel Lila tense behind me. I had turned to explain to her what was happening, but she had already set off running with Billy. I wanted to go after her, but I knew I had to deal with my dad first. Maybe I would get that punch in after all.
Chapter Fifteen - Lila
I don’t know how far I ran. I just knew I had to keep going. I had to get away. Adrenaline did most of the heavy lifting after that. Billy seemed okay at first. He might have thought we were playing a game because he started laughing. Though he went quiet when the game didn’t end. I didn’t even think about calling a cab. Though that would be a hell of a lot easier than what I was doing right then, but there was no time to think about that.
I was nearly falling down by the time I got to Aria’s house. The door was unlocked, which was good because I really didn’t want to have to bother with a key. I tore through the house and down the hall. Putting Billy in his crib, I suddenly realized I wouldn’t be able to take it with us, which kind of broke my heart. I got out the bags from under the bed and started to pack. Nothing too much. Just things I didn’t think we could do without.
If Conrad thought he was getting my son, he had another thing coming. We would go somewhere he could never find us.
“Jesus! What’s going on?”
I whirled around and saw Aria standing in the doorway, looking quite concerned indeed.
“Leaving,” I said, getting back to my manic packing session.
“I can see that. Any particular reason?”
“Conrad.”
“Okay, I’m going to need a bit more than that, honey, Conrad who?”
“Conrad, fucking Conrad! Billy’s grandad. Carl’s dad. He said he would get custody, so I ran. I ran, and I came here. He knows. I saw him in the car. He knows. He knows we’re still in Vegas. He has connections, you know. Scary, bad connections. At least, I think. They all do, don’t they? Casino guys? The mob runs those, I think. Anyway, I have to get away. He won’t take my baby!”
“Why would he do that?” Aria asked, keeping calm.
“He said he would. He said Billy had to be raised his way, or he would sue and get him. He has friends in the courts. He said so. He’s going to take my baby if he finds me. We have to go. I went before, and that made him mad.”
“Lila!”
I snapped to attention and looked at Aria in shock. I had never heard her raise her voice before. Fixing my gaze with hers, my friend came over and took me firmly by the shoulders and sat me down on the bed.
“Billy’s grandfather doesn’t know you’re here. You don’t know he was there for you. It could have been a coincidence.”
“But he saw me! He said he’s going to take my baby. I won’t lose Billy. I’m a good mom.”
“And you got away. You’re safe now. He doesn’t seem to have followed you, and no one knows you’re here. The house is in my grandmother’s name, right? Unless Conrad tailed you, he has no way of knowing that you’re here. Conrad doesn’t have any leverage. He isn’t a blood parent and there isn’t any cause for concern with you because, like you said, you’re a good mother.”
“Will you check?” I asked, still paranoid.
“Okay.”
Aria went over to the window and looked out onto the street. I assumed she was looking for big black cars.
“Any big black cars?” I asked.
“No, there’s a small black dog and someone walking it, but other than that, there’s nothing.”
It felt like every muscle in my body relaxed at once. I looked over at Billy, who was standing up in his crib, hands on the railing, regarding me with grave concern. Aria left the room, briefly returning with a glass of apple juice.
“We still need to go somewhere else,” I explained, “we’ll never be free of him until we do.”
“Carl or Conrad?” Aria asked.
I hadn’t even thought about Carl. He seemed as surprised as I was to see Conrad there. As far as I knew, they hadn’t even spoken in years. And he was being so sweet and responsible. I really couldn’t believe that he would have told Conrad where I was. Even if he had, he would have gone to Aria’s place, not Carl’s. I could have been all a crazy coincidence.
However, Aria didn’t know Conrad like I did. He was almost my father-in-law, after all. At least I liked to think so. He was really okay underneath it all, but he was also stubborn as an old mule and had a tendency to always think that he was right, even when he was quite plainly wrong. If he believes it is in Billy’s best interest, he wouldn’t hesitate to take him and had the kind of high-priced lawyers who could work that sort of legal sorcery. Even with Carl and Aria on my side, I didn’t have much to fight him with, and Conrad always got his way with the possible exception of when Carl and I ran out on him.
“We need to go,” I said firmly, letting Aria know I was thinking straight.
“Okay.” She nodded.
Aria left the room again, coming back this time with a roll of bills — a large roll of bills. “Take this. I’ve been saving for a rainy day, and it seems pretty wet right now.”
“No, I-I can’t,” I said, shocked she would even try to give me anything.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I can make my own way.”
“Okay, well here,” Aria got a post-it from the night table and wrote out a name and phone number.
“Ryan White?” I asked.
“He’s my brother’s best friend from way back. He lives in Austin on a huge ranch. Tell him I sent you and he’ll help you out. Get you an apartment and all that. He’s really nice and super-rich. He actually owns that advertising firm we went to. Where you saw Billy that first time?”
“He does?”
“That’s one of the reasons why I wanted to go there. Yeah, small world, right?”
“Tiny,” I said, staring at the post-it, overwhelmed by the cosmic synergy of it all.
Three hours later, Billy and I were in an airport lounge, waiting for a flight to Austin. I had already called Ryan from a payphone, putting in about thirty quarters. He was expecting us and would meet us at the airport.
It was disorienting how quickly everything was happening. Just that afternoon, I had been planning on moving in with Carl. He didn’t know it, but I had intended to make it a permanent arrangement. We would have found a new place together and lived there together until Billy grew up. That was the plan anyway. Now it was all gone, and I felt like I was breaking Carl’s heart by leaving him behind, but I didn’t have a choice.
Chapter Sixteen - Jinx
There were several things I wanted to say to my dad right then, particularly in lieu of the fact that the sight of him had made Lila flee in terror — something he obviously didn’t see. None of them were terribly nice things. All of them boiling like acid in my head.
However, I kept silent, and my fists holstered, deciding to hear him out. I was an adult. I was sober. I was a father. Besides w
hich neither of my moms would have liked it had Dad and I come down to fisticuffs — particularly considering the state he would have been in afterward. I had been in my share of fights. The biggest battle dad had ever had was getting his pants on in the morning over his ever expanding waistline.
“Here to do the hit yourself, are you?” I asked.
He sighed exaggeratedly. “Now, Jinx, you know those are just nasty rumors.”
“Yeah, but I still like busting your chops about it,” I said.
“Fair enough, shall we go up?” Dad said, taking it a lot better than I might have expected.
The elevator seemed more cramped than usual on the way up. Dad not helping much. Getting to the floor, I got out first, rushing a very confused Lucky to the bedroom, leaving him with a toy so he wouldn’t bark.
“Was that a dog?” Malina asked.
“Yeah.”
“What breed?” she asked, seeming genuinely interested. She wasn’t my mom, but I still liked her.
“French Bull Dog-Pug cross.”
“Oh, how cute!” she gushed, showing her young age.
“If you like that sort of thing,” Dad grumbled.
“Please sit, would you like something to drink?”
“White wine, please,” Malina said, gracing herself onto the couch.
“Scotch on the rocks,” me and dad said in unison. He had been having the same drink for as long as I could remember.
Pouring out an apple juice for myself, I carried the tray of drinks over to the couch and sat down in the nearby chair, placing the tray on the coffee table between us.
“I have to tell you something about Lila,” Dad said, after making inroads into his scotch.
“Oh?”
“She took your kid and ran,” he said, gravely.
“What?” I asked, shocked.
“She’s gone kiddo. She had your baby. She took him and hit the road.”
“I don’t understand. Why?”
Dad grumbled something that I didn’t quite get. Something about the court or whatever.