by Jamie Knight
I wrapped my arms around my belly. The baby started kicking. Tears of joy mixing with the tears of sadness.
Chapter Twenty-One - Logan
I liked to look out the window as I ran. It gave me an impression of running through the sky if I got just the right angle. Not that I had any Superman aspirations or illusions. It was just a cool effect.
I had the exercise room put in when I moved into this place, grandpa having had no such interest. His idea of exercise was golfing with a cart. It was amazing he managed to stay so thin. Not surprising he had died from a heart attack at age 62. An age now considered tragically young.
I could kind of see it. He didn't even live long enough to get unnecessary money from the government.
I liked to do the full circuit at least once a day. My record until recently had been three times. Since what happened with Kora though, it had increased quite a bit. I was beginning my eighth circuit of the day. And it was only noon. My choice not to jerk off to memories of Kora caused my sexual energy to redirect itself into self-abuse of a different kind.
My sneakers pounded against the track of the treadmill, the most brutal Black Metal Norway had to offer blasting in my earbuds, shaking my eyes and ratting my brain as I tried to forget. Not only what had happened with me and Kora but the effect it had on Kristen and their friendship. Not once but twice.
Losing Kora still hurt like a branding iron, but I wasn't nearly selfish enough not to know I was the only one in pain.
The machine cooled down as I was slowing to a walk. I slammed a Vodka Gears from the cup holder built into the support bar.
"Speak of the devil," I said, as Kristen came barging in.
"What?"
"Nothing," I said, taking out my ear buds.
"Wasps in a tin can?" she asked, the sound still emanating from the tiny speakers around my neck.
"Mayhem," I said.
"Sounds like it," she said.
I fought down the urge to laugh, not sure if she was kidding or not. At least with dad his confusion was obviously genuine.
"Listen," Kristen said.
"Uh oh," I said.
"What?"
"Last time you said listen, I ended up bleeding from the head."
"The guy was really getting rape-y. I didn't know he was going to hit you with a chair. Especially not the one he was sitting on at the time."
"It really was quite a trick," I agreed.
"And the bouncer had already called the cops so it was mostly just a matter of stalling him until they arrived."
"By acting as a target," I said.
"Can you imagine what he would have done to me if given the chance?"
"Yes, better than you can guess, and I would have killed him. After I had hunted him down anyway."
"You quite nearly did at the time," Kristen said.
"I know! How the cops could have thought I was the perp is beyond me."
"They probably thought all the blood was his."
"As opposed to most of it," I said, seeing her point.
"I've never seen a human head jerk like that."
"I was angry about the chair. Not too happy about you, either, but I had mostly just been trying to hold him in check."
"That’s understandable," Kristen said, not seeming to take any offense.
"It was the chair that unleashed the beast," I said.
"Good thing the paramedics were able to revive him, so it was just an assault charge."
"'Just' being a relative term."
"True enough," Kristen said. "But I actually need to talk to you, okay?"
"Aren't we talking now?"
"I mean seriously."
"Oh.”
We went and sat on the wide sill of the picture window. It had been a while since I had seen Kristen be that serious. I braced myself for something truly terrible.
"I saw Kora," she said.
"Oh," I said, about ten different emotions knocking their heads together at once.
"It was an accident. It was at the spa. I'd been going there for months but was actually trying to avoid her, if I’m being honest, making sure she was no longer there, and I thought she was long gone, but there she was. She had gone from receptionist to trainee masseuse," Kristen said.
"The fates can be strange sometimes," I said.
"Or just cruel bitches," Kristen muttered.
"Yeah, that too," I agreed.
"Anyway, I think she was in a bad way. It wasn't exactly a tearful reunion or anything. No hugging or crying or vows to never part again. She hardly said anything, if I'm honest."
"Then how do you know she was in a bad way?" I asked.
"It was, er, pretty obvious, just, you know, by looking at her. I really thing you should try to get into contact with her if you can. I know I'm overstepping here, but it is really important and I get the feeling that she might need you right now more than you know or she is willing to admit."
"Oh, shit," I said, doing the math in my head.
I could tell what Kristen was referring to without having to ask her to spell it out.
I was really thrilled to be a dad. I'd always wanted kids. It was one of the few things in live of which I was always certain.
The fact that it was Kora, the only woman I had ever really loved, carrying that baby was more good than bad, even under the circumstances. Kristen was right. I had to at least try to talk to Kora.
If we were truly over, I could accept that, eventually. I loved her so much but was also willing to respect her feelings if she honestly didn't want me. Though I had to at least try and be involved with our baby. I was never one to not claim what was mine.
She must have been pretty dead set on being a single mom, if she didn't even tell me that she was pregnant. I could also understand her position but hoped I could change her mind, at least in terms of visitation. I would be willing to be a weekend dad, if nothing else.
Kristen's phone made an unpleasant noise and she got it out to quiet it down, seeing the screen as she did so.
"Damn, I have to go; think about it, okay?"
"Okay," I said.
She kissed me on the cheek and rushed off to deal with some financial emergency or another, as was all in a day's work for her.
I tried to figure out how to contact Kora. Calling her was clearly out. Kristen hadn't given me her new number, which for all we knew, had already been changed anyway, since Kora had stopped being in contact with Kristen after Kristen had tried to talk to her about me despite Kora’s previous warnings not to. That was another thing that was all my fault.
Since I had no idea where she lived, dropping by her place, all roses and apologies, wasn't really an option either. Even if it had been my style, which it absolutely wasn't. Most of the time I'd just assume that the other person was wrong and wait for them to apologize. That clearly wasn't going to work, and so I was going to come up with a plan.
Then I remembered what Kristen had said about Kora being back at the spa. I didn't actually remember what it was called or if I was ever actually told but it was worth a shot. Going into the office, I got out the recent yellow pages, flipping through the S section, hoping I would know the name when I saw it.
The sight memory experiment was a resounding failure, each of the listed day spas looking more or less the same, and nothing really standing out. On the upside, there were only five of them, all in the same twelve block radius.
I could find it. I was well aware of how desperate and semi-stalker like I was being, but it was the only plan I had. If I was honest with myself, it was as much for our baby as it was for Kora or myself.
The first three spas were a bust, that old adage about third time is the charm being completely and utter bullshit. I just hoped the fourth time would be more like a new clock with fresh batteries.
It certainly looked different than the first three I had tried. The waterfall and stone indoor Koi pond certainly being stand outs. Its name also rang some distant bells, though I wasn't
quite sure why.
The staff looked kind of like they were in a cult. All of them were dressed in matching white slacks and tight tee shirts. All the women were impossibly beautiful— I could see that Kora fit right in— and the guys looking like well shorn Vikings. I got a strong sense of prejudicial hiring practices.
I went up to the reception desk and tried to look casual. There were three receptionists working right then, likely to make sure there was no waiting. I approached the first one, who looked up. Her gold name tag said Sienna in black letters and also marked her out as being in training.
I wondered if she was replacing Kora. I sort of doubted the staff had a huge turnover. The tee shirt gave a generous view of her quite impressive chest. I kept my gaze firmly on her chocolate brown eyes.
"Hello, welcome," Sienna said, in the pleasantly vacant tone all service sector employees are trained to use, "how may I service you?"
Her desk mares stifled laughter. I was too focused on my mission to take much notice.
"I mean, how can I help?" Sienna corrected, a hue of bright crimson touching her pretty cheeks.
"I know this sounds odd but I am looking for someone. I think she works here."
"Not that odd, sir," Sienna said politely, "what is this person's name?"
"Kora Evans," I said.
After some impressively swift typing on her computer terminal, Sienna came up with the appropriate info.
"She isn't here right now. She is a trainee masseuse and only here for certain hours during training."
"Do you have a contact for her?" I asked.
"Of course."
"Can I have it?" I asked, trying to be patient.
"That depends on who you are."
"A question philosophers have yet to answer," I said, feeling a bit naughty.
"No, I-I mean what is your name?" she asked, seeming confused.
"Oh, I see," I said feigning enlightenment, "my name is Logan."
"First name or last name?" Sienna asked.
I realized later that this would have been a great time to lie. Say that my last name was Logan and my first name was John. But I wasn't really thinking that way at the time. I really just wanted to be there for Kora and our baby.
"First name," I said.
"Could you spell that?" Sienna asked, going completely by the book.
"L-o-g-a-n," I said, resisting the urge to slam my head into the desk out of sheer frustration.
Sienna did some more things, likely looking up who she was allowed to give Kora's contact information to.
"Sorry," she said, scanning the screen, "you're not on the list of -"
"Sienna, shut up."
Sienna and I looked over to the receptionist her left. The Latin term is "sinister" for a reason.
"What is your last name, sir?" the inquisitor asked, staring daggers at me.
Again, a great place to have lied, but I was so obvious by that point that she would have likely seen right through me.
"Parker."
"You have to go," the inquisitor said, "now."
But I didn't go. Not out of rebellion but surprise. I honestly didn't understand what she was taking about. The receptionist on the right looked something up on her computer.
"Sienna, come with me," she said.
"O-okay," Sienna said, looking from me to her desk mate, appearing almost as confused as I felt.
The receptionist on the right was leading her away like I was some kind of dangerous pervert. The receptionist on the left put her hand on the receiver of her phone.
"You've got ten seconds and I am calling the cops," she said.
"I-"
"Ten, nine, eight -"
I was through the door before she got to seven. There was once a time I would have acted like an asshole. Asked the receptionist if she knew who I was. And if she didn't, I would have pointed out that my grandpa had golfed with the police commissioner and dined with most of the judges on the local circuit.
I would have just needed to mention his name in conjunction with mine and most of the cops on the city force would have just walked away. A few of the newcomers trying to do everything right or old war horses who liked to go by the book might have taken me in, but I would have been home in time for dinner.
I just didn't have the energy anymore. I was pretty fucking dismayed that Kora had apparently told her co-workers such bad things about me that they were prepared to call the cops if I showed up.
"Any luck, sir?" Sarah asked as I got into the back of the limo.
She had really only tacked the "sir" on the end as a matter of procedure. I may be paying her, but we had long ago gone past the usual employee-boss relationship. She had driven for my grandpa and so I had known her for years.
She also knew about most of what had happened with grandpa and dad. She didn't say anything, being far too tactful for that, but she knew. It was king of strange but, other than Kristen, Sarah was the closest thing I had to a real friend. It was probably why she didn't mind me calling her up three hours before her shift started today for a "special assignment."
I had tried to pay her extra, but she had refused. I guessed she knew what it was about and was willing to work pro bono. She likely knew what happened to bring Kristen around so quickly a few months before, and that no doubt played a role in her decision.
"Not at all."
"Not the right place?" she asked, starting up the limo.
"It was; that wasn't the problem. She wasn't there and there is apparently some kind of black mark on me. The person I was talking to was nice, if a bit frustrating; she was in training, but the harpies on either side of her were total bitches. Sorry."
"It's cool," Sarah said, even though I had seen her flinch at the word.
"They saw something on the computer and threatened to call the cops, but not before shepherding the attractive young assistant away like I was going to whip out my cock and jerk off on her. Again, pardon my language. I just can’t fucking believe this."
"Wow, what did you do to Kora?" Sarah asked.
"That's what I'm trying to figure out. I know I screwed up by basically throwing her out of my room after we had slept together."
"Literally?" Sarah asked.
"Yeah, like I said, it was a major fuck up. I have no illusions about that. But I don't think I did anything to warrant her doing that."
"Maybe she didn't tell them to kick you out if you showed up," Sarah offered. "Maybe Kora just told them she didn't want to talk to you and they reacted in their own way."
"Overreacted in their own way," I said, still a bit sore about it, based on Sienna's look of confusion and fear more than anything.
"Right," Sarah agreed.
I had to admit she had a point. Though that still didn't get me any closer to Kora. I got out my phone and called Kristen.
"I did what you said," I said soon as she picked up.
"Well, that's a hell of an opening."
"Please don't try to be funny, dumpling," I said, "I don't think I can handle it."
"What happened?"
"She wasn't there and I had to get out before I was thrown out under police escort," I said.
"Shit."
"No, it's true," I said.
"What was that you said about being funny?"
"Sorry, I couldn't resist," I said, smiling for the first time in what felt like months.
"No, no, it's nice to hear you getting back to your old self. The doctor said it could take a while."
"I'm okay," I said, "though I would be better if I could see Kora. Even just to tell her I love her before properly saying goodbye. I have always hated this 'ghosting' shit."
"This is partly my fault," Kristen said.
"How -"
"Listen, do you trust me?"
"Well, you did save my life twice."
"Stop goofing around."
"I'm not; you did and I think that merits some trust. Besides which, I don't really have a choice that I can see. I really need to se
e Kora and have no viable way of doing so."
"Yeah, that's what I figured," Kristen said.
"So, what is this cunning plan of yours, Bal-?"
"Call me Baldrick and I'll slap you the next time I see you," Kristen warned.
"Wouldn’t dream of it, dumpling."
"I have a plan; let's just leave it at that for now."
“Alright then,” I said, because clearly I had no other choice but to let my little sister take care of this mess.
Hopefully.
Chapter Twenty-Two - Kora
Over the next week, I got to know what the baby really liked. Unfortunately, harp music turned out to be one of them. I could hardly get through a massage without her kicking like she was in a karate tournament.
I would rub my belly to try and calm her, but it only worked about seven times out of ten. I had thought about asking David if we could change the repertoire but I was trying not to rock the boat. I didn't have the job yet and I wasn't sure about what David would think about having an unwed, single mother on staff, especially since I needed a maternity leave first. He could be very traditional in some ways.
I finished the client I was working on and went to walk around the staff area, massaging my belly with both hands, trying to get her to go back to sleep. I was in the process of doing this when Sienna came in with a bouquet of flowers.
I could tell from a distance what they were and recognized it immediately as an apology bouquet. I wasn't quite sure what she thought she had to apologize for.
There was a bit of tension when I first came back because she had basically taken my place but it was entirely on her end. I had left by choice, to pursue the masseuse training, and of course the spa needed someone else.
I just hoped she was up to the job. I had told her as much when I first noticed her uneasiness around me.
“These came for you,” she said, holding out the flowers.
“Thanks,” I said, giving them a sniff.
“Is she kicking again?” Sienna asked, noticing my hands on my belly.
“Yeah, you want to feel?” I asked.
“Really?”
“Sure.”