Submitting to the Alpha

by Emilia Rose

  “You’ve done phenomenal this year,” he said. All of my exams were spread across his desk. One hundred percent. One hundred one percent. Ninety seven percent. Ninety eight percent.

  “Thank you.”

  “I think you’d be a great fit at the pack hospital.”

  I gnawed on the inside of my cheek. I should’ve known that this was what he wanted to tell me. While I worked hard for good grades in his class and while working in the hospital ran in my family, that path wasn’t for me. “Thank you for the compliment, Dr. Jakkobs. I really like anatomy, but I was born to fight.”

  He smiled and nodded. “Your mother tells me all the time that being a warrior has been your goal since you were a girl, but if you figure that it isn’t for you anymore, you’re always welcome at the hospital. We could use someone like you there.” He patted me on the back, gathered my exams, and said, “Good luck at try-outs today.”

  When I departed from his class, leaving the high school behind me, I took my time walking through the woods to the packhouse. Everything seemed so much better today. Blue birds chirped in the distance. Sunlight filed between the trees, creating patterns on the path in front of me. I walked with a hop in my step.

  Unlike the past few days, I didn’t have that urge to rip off someone’s head. Maybe it was because today was the day I had been working towards since I was five. Maybe it was because Roman finally let me cum last night. Maybe it was because of the way Roman looked at me after he brought me home. Sitting in my driveway, even after I walked into the house and shut the door. His soft gaze remaining on my window for the briefest moments.

  Green eyes soft. Hair resting against his forehead. Fingers clutching his journal as if he had something inside that he didn’t want me to see. It wasn’t a look that I had seen before. He looked almost vulnerable, not the alpha who had barged into my room and demanded I suck his dick.

  Whatever was making me feel this way, I knew that nothing could dampen my mood. Today was the best day of my life.

  When I arrived, Derek and the rest of the trainees were waiting in a large room in the packhouse. Pictures of our pack’s greatest warriors since the beginning of time hung on the wall, their lists of accomplishments in a frame next to them. Many battles won; too many lives lost.

  There was no official practice today, so I didn’t bother changing. Instead, I grasped a Moonflower keychain and waited. Though Luna Raya was never a warrior, she always saw the strength and fight in me.

  “What’d Jakkobs want?” Derek asked me.

  “He thought I would be a good fit at the hospital, but I declined.”

  “The hospital?” Vanessa asked, standing in front of me with her hand on her hip. I scrunched my nose, her strawberry perfume unbearably strong yet again. “Gross,” she said. “I don’t know how your Mom and Dad deal with that place all the time. There’s a bunch of smelly-ass old men and blood and...” She shuddered. “Just gross.”

  Instead of getting angry at her—just because she was Vanessa—I actually smiled and kept my temper under control. Nothing would dampen my mood, not even her.

  “Sucks that you’ll probably end up there,” Derek said to her.

  She arched a sharp brow. “We’ll see about that. I think I secured a position on the team.”

  I nearly snorted. Secured a spot on the team? She could barely jog three miles without becoming out of breath.

  The warrior wolves filed into the room, and everyone quieted down. I clutched the keychain tighter. Roman walked in last, and my wolf purred. She couldn’t wait for him to touch her the way he did last night. After Roman said our name and everyone left the packhouse and it was just me and him… we couldn’t wait.

  Maybe when I started spending more time with him, things would change between us. Maybe he’d take me to the cave again and we could lie on our stomachs and whisper our deepest, darkest secrets to each other like we used to do.

  Roman stood in front of the trainee-warriors with dark circles under his eyes and a hard expression. “Today is assignment day,” he said. I tried to suppress a smile and spun the keychain around my finger.

  For a moment, he gazed at it and clenched his jaw. Then he turned away from me. “As much as we would like you all to join us, we do not have space on the team for everything to run smoothly. After much consideration, I have assigned you to where I think you’d fit best. I’ve based many of these decisions on your performance this week.”

  Vanessa smirked at Roman, her eyes filling with excitement, and Roman… looked at her and smiled back? I gazed between the two, my eyes narrowing. What the fuck was that? My wolf growled lowly, glaring at Vanessa.

  Derek picked up on the subtle exchange and nudged me. “Did you see that?”

  I clenched my jaw, but then forced myself to unclench it. Nothing would dampen my mood today. I repeated the mantra to myself until I calmed down.

  “Alright, let’s get started…” He cleared his throat. “Alberto: warrior. Alice: warrior. Gene: nurse. Derek: warrior.”

  A grin broke out across my face, and I leaned into Derek, feeling so proud of my best friend. We deserved this more than anyone here.

  “Kelly: businesswoman. Niko: doctor.” Roman continued to assign trainees positions. He stopped for a moment, clenching and unclenching his jaw. “Vanessa: warrior.”

  My eyes widened. Warrior? Vanessa was assigned as a warrior?

  Vanessa squealed and clapped her hands together, a wave of her strawberry perfume hitting me like a wall. Cayden furrowed his brows and gave Roman a puzzled look. Roman who didn’t say anything about it, just continued to call out names. Some of our classmates began whispering.

  Nobody could believe what Roman had just said. Vanessa was not a warrior. There had to be a mistake.

  Roman cleared his throat, silencing the room. “Let me continue.” He glanced around at a few people, finally settling his gaze upon me. His face was void of all emotion. “Isabella: nurse.”

  Isabella

  Derek gasped. Cayden stepped forward. Vanessa laughed. And I blinked in surprise, unable to even comprehend what Roman just said.

  Suddenly the whole room erupted into a buzz of murmurs. People gazed from me to Roman to Vanessa who was boasting in her victory. I grasped the keychain tighter in my hand.

  “You’re dismissed. For those of you who are now warriors, please stay behind for an additional meeting. We’ll take a five-minute break.” Roman walked out of the room, not sparing me a second glance.

  Cayden shook his head and swore, following him. This couldn’t be right. No… no, it couldn’t. Roman knew I was one of the best fighters here. There was no way he’d accept Vanessa over me. No fucking way.

  “Are you okay?” Derek asked, placing a hand on my shoulder.

  I pressed my lips together. “There is a mistake. There has to be.” Determined on finding Roman, I pushed people out of the way and hurried to the door. The warriors, all surprised themselves, created a path for me to walk through.

  Roman’s scent led me all the way to his office. Instead of knocking politely, I marched right into the room with a hand on my hip. He sat behind his desk, gazing down at some papers, with Cayden next to him.

  “Can I help you?” Roman asked, looking at me with the hardest expression.

  “You’re fucking with me, right?”

  He sat up and leaned his forearms onto his desk, pressing his lips together. “Cayden leave.”

  “But—” Cayden said.

  “Leave.”

  Cayden walked out of the room, giving me a sympathetic smile, and shut the door behind him. Roman’s gaze remained on me the whole time. “Why’re you still here, Isabella?”

  I shook my head. “I’m the best warrior that you have, and you know it.” My voice rose with every word, pure anger pumping through me. “Why the hell would you assign me as a nurse?”

  His eyes were hard. “Your performance this week was disappointing.”

  “That’s bullshit!” I slammed my hand
down on his desk. He was lying. Every word that came out of his mouth was a lie. It had to be. It couldn’t be true.

  My wolf hurt.

  There was no regret in his eyes, no ounce of sorrow. This wasn’t a mistake. This was his decision. This was what he thought was best.

  “I’m the best you have, Roman. The best. Do you think little Vanessa could fight against anyone stronger than a pup? She can’t do shit!”

  He stood up, looming over me. “So, that’s what this is about.”

  I slammed my palm onto his desk again, stepping closer to him. “No! This isn’t what this is about.”

  Did he really think this was about Vanessa? About the way she always flirted with him when I was around and tried to get under my skin, the way my wolf always reacted so viciously to her? No, this wasn’t about her.

  “I came to practice every single day giving it everything I had which far exceeded anything you could’ve thrown at me. I’ve been working for this position since I was four, Roman! And you’re just going to take it away from me, telling me that my performance was worse than Vanessa’s?”

  He clenched his jaw. “I’m giving you one chance to stop disrespecting my decisions. The next time you raise your voice—”

  I growled. “You’ll do what, Roman? You’ll punish me?” I shook my head and walked around the room, unable to even look him in the eye anymore. Though he was typically neat, Roman’s office was a complete mess—papers thrown everywhere, the paint on the walls chipped, desk drawers open. “I’m done with this little game that we’ve been playing. I don’t give a fuck about you or your stupid punishments.”

  Lie.

  I shook my head and stormed out, slamming the door behind me. The sound echoed throughout the house. Everyone probably heard it, but I didn’t care. I pushed past Derek, past Cayden, past Vanessa, promising myself that no tears would fall from my eyes.

  None. I would shed none for this.

  Punishing me in bed… that was one thing. This punishment was the worst kind, and I would not give him the satisfaction of seeing me how he did last night again. Vulnerable, happy, intimate. If he thought I was just another one of the pack whores he could fuck around with and not give a single ounce of respect to, then I didn’t want to see him again. I didn’t care.

  Except I did.

  My wolf hurt so fucking bad. Why didn’t he want us as a warrior? Why didn’t he want us? I didn’t know which part of me hurt the worst—my pride, my wolf responding to my alpha’s rejection, or me who kind of thought he may have liked me and my wolf.

  As soon as I stepped out of that packhouse, I shredded my clothes and transformed into my wolf, sprinting into the woods. I needed to breathe, to reconnect with my inner self and make sure she was okay.

  The wind whipped through my fur, and rain started drizzling through the trees and hitting my face. The water that ran down my cheeks was just rain, not tears. Definitely not tears.

  That man didn’t even respect me enough to let me train as a goddamn doctor. He wanted me to be a nurse. A nurse.

  Thunder rumbled above me, lightning striking the ground a few hundred feet away. I hated him for it.

  There was nothing wrong with being a nurse; Dad was a nurse. But I didn’t want his job. I wanted more, more hands on, more blood, more violence, more. Just more.

  Wet branches scraped into my fur, cutting into my side. I jumped over branches and under leaves and around trees, pushing myself to my limits. My wolf let out a howl, her nose lifting to the darkening sky. Running was a sweet release for her.

  Not for me.

  Nothing would ruin my mood, my ass. This day turned for the worse, and I didn’t think I’d get over it for years. I had prepared for this day. Practiced the fighting moves and beat them into my muscles’ memory with Derek every night. Listened to Mr. Beck’s stupid stories of the wars from years ago. Thought about Luna Raya’s death every night to motivate me to protect.

  Did Roman really think I wouldn’t fit well on the team? Was he just lying to hurt me? Why would he lie? Why did he want to hurt me?

  I didn’t understand it, and I didn’t know if I wanted to. Was this all just a game to him? Make me catch feelings, then break me to pieces? Because if it was, he won. He won it all.

  After hours of nonstop running, I went home, feeling both ashamed that I hadn’t been assigned to the warriors and embarrassed at how childish I reacted in the packhouse. I shouldn’t have let him see me so upset; I was stronger than that.

  Derek was sitting outside, head against the side of the house, dozing off to sleep. My keychain was between his fingers. I must’ve dropped it. He opened his eyes, jumped up, and wiped his sleep away. “Isabella!” he said, throwing me a pair of spare clothes that he had in his gym bag.

  I tugged them on, trying to hide my tears from him, but he saw right through me. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to his chest.

  “I’m fine,” I said, pressing my lips together.

  He pulled me even closer, resting his chin on my head. His chest rose and fell softly, and I rested my head against it. “That was a dick move, Isabella. You can be angry.”

  My body heaved back and forth. Stupid, wet tears fell down my cheeks. “He-he… I can’t… believe it.” I gripped onto his shoulders so tightly that I thought I would collapse if I didn’t. “He knew it would hurt me. He knew it.”

  My heart clenched. Why was this even happening?

  “Do you want me to be honest with you?” Derek asked, only pulling away once I stopped crying. He frowned at me, thumb brushing against my jaw. “He’s the alpha. He doesn’t have to care if his decision hurts you.”

  I pressed my lips together. It sure seemed like he cared about me and my opinion of him—coming into my room after I moaned Cayden’s name, using me like a damn doll for his pleasure, giving me what I needed last night. That look on his face when I stared at his journal. That smile he gave me before I stepped out of his car. The way he made my wolf feel so… so fucking special.

  “I just don’t understand why? I was the best one there all week. Everyone knew it.”

  Derek shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe he thought this was the best for the pack.” He nudged me, trying to lighten the mood. “Maybe he thought you guys would have hot angry sex after.”

  I pressed my lips together. “There will be no sex after that.” I wrapped my arms around his waist, pulling him into a hug one more time and inhaling his familiar scent. “Thank you for waiting up for me, but you should get some sleep.”

  He rolled his eyes. “I know… I have to be up bright and early to listen to Vanessa complain all day.”

  “I’m happy for you,” I said, giving him my best smile. How couldn’t I be proud of my best friend for achieving everything that he ever wanted? I hoped he enjoyed every minute of it and never took it for granted. “I really am.”

  When Derek disappeared through the woods, I stayed outside for a few more moments, listening to the rain hit the leaves of the trees and smelling the fresh scent of the woods. I rubbed the Moonflower keychain in my hand and walked into the quiet house.

  Mom and Dad were probably asleep. And I was glad. I didn’t want to face them tonight.

  Tears streamed down my cheeks when I closed my bedroom door. I could finally cry alone without feeling judged. But before I let it all go, I did the one thing I hadn’t done in weeks.

  I closed the curtains.

  Roman

  I hadn’t left this empty packhouse.

  After Isabella ran out of my office, I walked back to the new recruits, gave them a half-hearted speech, and then sat in my bedroom. Staring at the closed door. Wondering if this was the right choice. Hurting worse than she did.

  The pain didn’t fade. Not when I lead practice the next day. Not when I ran through the woods and saw her curtains closed. Not when I locked myself in my office and couldn’t focus on any task for long enough to finish it.

  It was 9pm on Saturday. The moonlight flooded into my offic
e through the open window. If I focused hard enough, I could smell her sweet scent lingering on my desk. I tore a sheet of paper from my journal. The fifth drawing of her I had done today.

  I tried not to draw her, knowing that I would only hurt worse, but I did it anyway. She was the only thing that calmed me. Tapping my pen against my desk, I gazed out the window into the dark forest. I needed to go on a run. Another run. Run. My wolf wanted to run to her house. I wanted to run to her house.

  I shook my head. No. No, I shouldn’t go. I really shouldn’t go. I sat at my desk, in the dark, tapping my foot on the hardwood and deciding to read to take my mind off of her.

  Read something. Read anything. Read the used anatomy textbook Dr. Jakkobs had given me so I could finish my education. Read the section about mating. Realize that the textbook smelled like her. Realize that it was her textbook. Read her name that she wrote in the front of the book. Inhale her scent. Pretend that this was the right decision. Our pack needed doctors. She would be one of the best. She was strong, but she was so fucking smart. Think about her. Think about my Isabella.

  Moon Goddess, I couldn’t stop thinking about her.

  I slammed the book closed, throwing it to the side of the room in anger, and opened to another clean page of my journal, letting my hand sketch whatever it wanted. A curve. Hair blowing in the breeze. Her watching the forest last night through my truck window.

  I wished that I never got caught up with her. I wished that Ryker never would have come here to try to take her away from me. Then I wouldn’t have had to stay up all night going through plan after plan to keep her here, only for her to be pissed off at me.

  But being pissed off at me was better than her being dead like Mom and Dad were.

  It was also better than her being in the hands of a man-whore that marked Michelle, an unmated woman without her consent. I didn’t care if the rumors were true or not, I wouldn’t put Isabella in harm’s way.