by Ireland Gill
“Ah!” Hayden yelled, grabbing his arm where I'd made the cut. “Evika---” his breath cut short.
“Hayden!” I screamed. “Omigod!” I could hear my heartbeat in my head. “Are you okay? I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to---”
And then I saw it. I saw the blood seeping through his fingers as they covered the wound. I felt sick. This wasn't right.
“Hayden! You're bleeding! Omigod! Omigod, why are you bleeding!?” I was flustered, finally throwing the knife in the sink and grabbing the towel from the stove to tie around his arm. He was doubled over on the kitchen floor, hissing at the pain I'd caused.
Not looking up at me and remaining rigid on his knees, he let go of his arm and held out his hand to me. “Evika, give me the towel, please.”
I handed it to him quickly, still not computing exactly what this all meant. He wasn't supposed to bleed. Angels don't bleed. They just don't. He told me this before. I'd felt horrible for slicing his shoulder, and for making him bleed, I felt unforgivable. I frantically looked for the first aid kit under the sink and found a square bandage.
“Hayden, I'm so, so sorry. What's going on?” I still felt my chest pounding, and my ears throbbed with that very sound. I was worried sick.
“I'm bleeding,” he grunted to me as he stood to grab the bandage from my hand. He was still holding the towel tightly around the wound as he made his way to a dining chair.
“Yes, I can see this, Sherlock! But why?” I was frustrated, still panicked.
He pulled the towel back for a moment to check the status on his cut, then looked up at me, smirking. “Well, you were bound to find out sooner or later. What better way to find out than to cut me open, right?” he joked, trying to laugh.
I looked at him, confused. “Find out?” I hated when he didn't give me a straight answer and only said enough to give me clues. I looked at the blood-colored towel in his hand. Had he?
“Hayden, no.” I shook my head, holding back the tears. I wanted him to spring up out of that chair to tell me it was all a sick joke, and the blood was only a ketchup packet squirted on his arm. I wanted to be able to just smack his chest and tell him he was a big jerk for pulling such an awful prank on me.
But he didn't. He sat there, knowing well that I'd just realized the meaning of the moment and what had just occurred. He smiled solemnly.
I started shaking my head again to the counter and leaning against it as I kept my eyes on his. “Why would you do it, Hayden?” Too soon! I didn't want it to be so soon!
He stood cautiously, returning my gaze and making his way over to me. “Are you not happy that I have?”
The prickling in my eyes was becoming unbearable. I couldn't contain the tears any longer. “Why would you Fade for me, Hayden?” I whispered. “Why would you choose to do that for me?”
He half-smiled, and was only inches from my face. He lowered his head, level with mine, our eyes met as he touched his forehead to mine. “Because I'm in love with you, Evika,” he said to me softly.
I heard his words, shut my eyes tight and squeezed the tears from them. He said them, those words that I'd wanted to tell him as well. I choked and looked down at the bloodied towel that he'd sloppily wrapped around his arm.
“Give me this thing,” I said as I took the bandage from his other hand. He grinned at me the whole time. I removed the towel. It was soaked, but I didn't let it bother me. He removed his blood-soaked t-shirt, exposing his perfect torso. Talk about distractions. Being that close to his naked chest almost made me forget about the wound entirely.
I composed myself and was able to clean the cut up with the gauze from the kit. The blood kept oozing, but I'd covered it with more clean gauze and the bandage. I was gentle with him, as if he were a child. This was all new to him, human healing. I shook my head. This angel was in love with me now, and he'd chosen to Fade; to become human because he was in love with me.
After tending to his wound, I looked at Hayden as sternly as I could. He still held that grin. “It was Luka, wasn't it?” I asked. Honestly, I have no idea why I even asked.
He wrinkled his nose animatedly. “You already knew it would be him, Evika.”
I sighed. “When?” I demanded. “When did you do it?”
He smirked. “I met up with him last night after you were asleep. I gave him no choice.”
Of course he didn't, just as Luka had warned me. I closed my eyes briefly, picturing the horror of those wings breaking, the sound, the sight, the pain. I was quite sure it was something I'd never want to witness. I winced at the thought and shuddered, opening my eyes to see my angel giving me a proud smile.
“And again,” he continued, “I ask....” He leaned into my ear, his hot breath grazing the skin of my neck. “Does this not make you happy? Because I kinda can't take it back now.” He laughed lightly.
I could have said all that I wanted, but it wouldn't have been enough. I could have shouted from the top of my lungs how wonderful I felt, how wonderful he made me feel, but it wouldn't have been loud enough. To show him was all I knew to do. I cupped his face in my hands and brought his eyes level with my own. I was suddenly lost in those eyes again. Yet, I felt like I'd been found for the first time in my life. He saw me. He knew me. He loved me.
“Hayden,” I felt the words I'd already known inside ready to leave my tongue, “I love you.” God, it felt so good to tell him. “I've wanted to tell you that so many times. I. Love. You.” It was liberating.
The words poured from my mouth like a song and I wanted to sing them over and over again. It was the music I'd longed to play for him. I pulled him to me and crushed my lips against his. Jolts of electricity took over my entire body, and my senses had awakened. His soft lips stayed locked with mine and soon explored the route to my ear and down my neck. He kissed me softly, precision in every peck, down to my collarbone, across my chest along the curve of my shirt's neckline, then back up to the other side. If that was heaven, I was okay with death. Our breathing became heavy.
Hayden pulled away, but only slightly. “I was hoping you would say that, because I have something else I need to ask you.”
I blinked slowly, trying to get my breathing under control. “Anything. Ask me anything.”
He caressed my cheek and moved the hanging piece of hair from my eyes. “Evika Jade,” he beamed, “will you marry me?”
I think my heart stopped. No, I know my heart stopped. For the second time in my life, it really did stop, but this time it was only because it probably leaped out of my chest and bounced around screaming on the kitchen tile. Omigod! Did he just propose to me? I finally felt my heart return as it beat inside me, every thump noticeable, shouting at me with exultation. I thought of how to answer him. I wanted to scream out my answer loud for the whole world to hear. Yes! Yes! Yes! But it wasn't enough for me. I wanted him to know just how much I meant my “yes.” I locked my arms around his neck and laced my fingers through his hair, pulling him to my lips again, pressing harder than before, and wanting more of him than I could possibly ever have.
I pulled away for a short second only to give him the answer. “In a heartbeat, Angel-man.”
He gave me that smile I loved, that five-hundred watt smile that shone on his face brighter than ever. He lifted me gently onto the counter, and I wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling him to me and crushing him against me just as hard as our lips. My hands explored the curves of his back muscles, while his hands played in my hair. We entwined ourselves. Our breathing become a cadence, echoing within the kitchen walls. My breathing sped while he pressed himself in between my legs. There was nothing else I wanted more right then than to give myself to him.
“Evika.” He broke our heads apart, only barely, to ask. “Are you sure you want this?”
Hayden was my soul mate. I knew I wanted every part of him, and I wanted every part of me to be for him. I was finally ready.
I was lost in his eyes. “Hayden,” I traced his bottom lip with my thumb, “I've never been more
sure about anything else in my life. I want you forever.”
He looked at me with that angel's face. “You can have me forever.”
He cautiously scooped me up, held me against him, and effortlessly walked us up the stairs to my room.
Hayden laid me gently on the bed before carefully laying his body against mine. I took in every curve of his muscles. He was beautiful, and he was mine. I was ready. I would give my innocence to my angel. My Guardian Angel.
He turned my head gently to the side and kissed my neck gingerly once again, leaving no part of my exposed skin unmarked by his lips. I felt the smoothness of his hands reach my hips and glide up under my shirt to my breasts. He squeezed them gently, making my body sing. It sent welcoming chills down my spine and through my legs. I sat up slightly as he pulled my shirt over my head, giving me his genuine smile once again. He kissed me softly from my shoulder and down to my waistline to meet my jeans. It was no surprise that he made no fumbles in getting them off so gracefully. As he slid my jeans down my legs, he gave his kisses all the way down to my toes and pulled them off entirely, managing to also unclothe his bottom half. We were then nothing but skin and passion, laying together in that bed.
I lay there anxious, waiting. Hayden then prowled up over me once again, hovering, taking in my body until he reached my eyes. He stopped for a short moment and looked at me solemnly.
“All this time that I thought I was made for you,” he said, “and it was you who was made for me.”
I almost cried again, but consciously made my tears relent. “You were created for me, Hayden.” I whispered, holding his face.
My hands roamed around the curves of his shoulders and to his back. I could feel the scars, where his wings used to be, and I tried to put it out of my mind, the pain he must have endured for me. “I love you,” I said. I felt free when I said those words. I wanted to keep telling him I loved him. I couldn't say it enough. I couldn't kiss him enough.
“Evika, I love you with my entire soul and with every beat of our hearts.” Hayden took my hand and placed it on his chest. I felt it beating and his Fading became even more prominent to me. He pressed his lips against mine with a slight haste, then he buried his head into my neck, kissing and nibbling at my skin. It sent me building and gasping for air.
The rest of that night, we'd spent exploring each other's bodies and marking every part of them with kisses that we'd longed to give each other. It was as if something had finally been unleashed and we were free to express the love that we'd always meant to share with each other. I'd held onto the hopes for that moment for all my twenty-one years, and it was all for this perfect reason; my angel was my love, my life, and my destiny.
17
A Little Late
I woke up to the heavenly feeling of Hayden's body against mine and the gentle touch of his fingertips softly caressing my bare shoulder, the light graze of each of his breaths against the skin on the back of my neck. It took me leaps and bounds past cloud nine. I turned to face him, to hold him.
He smiled brightly. “Ah, the culprit has finally awakened.” He started playing with my hair.
“Culprit?” I giggled sleepily. “Me?”
“Well, you did take the innocence of one of the Creator's angels last night.” He made the bed vibrate with his laughter. It was infectious.
“Oh, is that so?” My eyes dramatically scoped the room. “An angel, huh? I have no idea what you're talking about. There are clearly no angels in this bedroom.”
“You better look a little harder, Miss Stormer.” Hayden pulled me closer to him, his lips an inch from mine as we stared into each other’s eyes.
“Oh, look,” I whispered to him. “You're right. I think I just found one.”
Hayden grinned in satisfaction. “I'm hard to miss.” I laughed, relishing the fact that I'd done nothing yet to damage his large ego. “I'm glad you're awake. I have something for you.” He reached around to the nightstand behind him and held something in his palm. A ring. A beautiful, princess-cut diamond stone in a platinum band with three small diamonds on either side of it.
My hand went to my mouth.
“It was your mother's, Lavinia's, I mean. I thought it would mean more to you to have this one. I know that you're not into this kind of jewelry, but---”
My finger pressed to his lips to stop his words. “It's perfect,” I assured him. And it was. Everything was. “Hayden, I love it.”
He smiled at me and tugged at my left arm to reach my hand, placing the ring on my finger. It was a perfect fit.
He looked at it in delight. “This must mean that it was meant to be,” he said proudly.
I pulled him closer. “I could have told you that,” I said.
I observed the contours of his chest muscles, his gorgeous body that I'd been longing to touch since the day we'd met, and then grinned deviously. "So, what's it like?" I asked.
He took his gaze from my finger to look at me. "What is what like?"
“What's it like for you now that you're in this lovely vessel permanently?” I ran my finger from his shoulder down across his chest, and made figure-eights around each defined muscle. “Isn't it kind of restricting compared to what you're used to?”
He raised his brow. “Restricting?” He shook his head and laid on his back, pulling me into him. “Come here,” he invited. “Lay your head right here.” He tapped his chest, then pulled my body closer. I placed my ear to his chest, facing him. “Do you hear that?” he asked.
The sound of his beating heart filled my eardrum. “Yes, of course I hear it.” I slid my fingers to his neck to feel the pulse beat in time with his heart.
He smiled at me solemnly. “That's the best feeling in the world. Next to having you, of course.”
We lay there, still as statues. I listened to every breath he took, every beat his heart made. I began to realize the finality of Hayden's invincibility, starting to question if I was, even worth Fading for. I wondered if my father had felt the same way after Lavinia's transition. I then wondered if any of the Guardians had ever regretted their decisions to become human for another. I stayed quiet, counting a few more heartbeats before asking the question.
“So you don't regret it?” I asked too softly, almost hoping it wasn't audible.
I knew he'd heard me when his breath hitched and he sat up slightly. I turned to him to see a slight pain behind his eyes, making me ashamed that I'd even asked. “Of course I don't regret it.” His hand lifted my chin. “I would do it a thousand times over, and a thousand more after that, just to prove to you that I don't, and never will, regret the decision to Fade for you, Evika.”
He stroked my hair gently in a way that could have put me to sleep for days. Physical contact with him was so soothing, and an absolute addiction. He healed me, inside and out. He was made for me. I remained speechless as I watched him and as I thought about the pain I'd feel if he'd gone away. My throat closed up. I tried to hold back the tears that beckoned to fall. I wasn't scared of the pain from which he protected me. I could take that. But, losing him would hurt worse than anything I could ever imagine. I just knew it would. In essence, it would kill me. His choosing to Fade worried me to no end. It hurt me to know that he could die just like any other person. I sat up, grabbing his hands and lacing our fingers together. I looked down, and those tears finally fell.
“Hayden,” I whispered reluctantly, “how does this story end...after you've become completely human?”
He smiled, gently clearing one of my runaway tears with his thumb. “Happily ever after,” he said, “and that's only the beginning.”
I shook my head in disbelief. “I'm scared to death that I'm going to lose you. I can't stop thinking about it,” I admitted. “Hayden, if I lost you, I just couldn't live! You can't protect me from my Final Death. That death, whenever it may be, will be the one you must let happen...the way it happened when I first fell. We don't know what is to come before that moment, all I ask is that you let it happen before yours.�
� Tears completely filled my eyes. I looked down at our hands and the blur of peach-colored skin was all I could see. “I know it's selfish of me to ask that of you. I know. I know. I know.”
“Evika, I know you may have fears because of what happened to Lavinia, but it will be okay,” he declared in a whisper. He released our hands and cupped my face, pulling my chin up. Our eyes met. He gave me a solemn smile. “As much as I'd love to make that type of promise to you, Evika, I just can't.” He sighed. “After I complete the Fade, there is no telling when my time is. That is the gamble that we angels take when we decide to do this for the one we love. I don't know when my time will be. All I can hope for is to grow old and gray, with you right by my side.” And it's exactly what I didn't want to hear. The unfairness, the ridiculousness of the whole idea of Fading. The complete uncertainty of the fate of an angel gone human. Then, he reminded me of something. “But, I can promise you this.” He took my left hand and pressed it against his chest. “I will be forever yours and I promise you that we will go to the Council for our binding ceremony once I've completed the transition.” He never ceased to amaze me with his composure, his intuitiveness. “Do you remember what I told you about the binding?”
I nodded. “We can be bound forever, even in death,” I recalled.
The angel smiled with satisfaction. “Precisely.”
“You promise me?” I asked in a whisper, quieting my sobs.
“Angel's honor.” He winked.
“As soon as the scars are healed?”
He grinned. “If manageable, we will bind that very day. And,” he leaned forward, “I promise to try my best not to let anything bad happen to myself as long as I have the power to do so.” He placed his lips against mine. I closed my eyes and felt a sudden calmness extend through my nerves, silencing them. The worry was gone. My fear was gone. He pulled away slowly, and I opened my eyes, wondering where his lips had gone. He gave me one of those wide grins.