“Saffron, darling.” Helene kissed her niece’s cheek before turning to me. “And the Spoken Mage.” She put out her hand, and when I placed my own into it, she warmly grasped it with both of hers. “It is a pleasure to host you here. I have heard a great many interesting things about you.”
“Mother don’t embarrass me,” Finnian said lightly, his eyes flickering to Coralie. I knew what he was thinking. She was the one his mother should have been gushing over.
Helene seemed to pick up on the tension in the air because her eyes settled consideringly on Finnian. But she said nothing other than to invite us all inside.
Tucking her hand into Finnian’s arm, she pulled him along beside her, leaving me to walk with Coralie. My friend gripped my arm, her hand painfully tight.
“It’s so huge!” she whispered. “Somehow I didn’t expect it to be so huge.”
“You’ll get used to it,” I whispered back.
Duke Dashiell had been occupied with Lucas and the Sekalis, but he broke away to greet his son before giving nearly as warm a welcome to Beatrice.
“It’s good to see you,” he said to her. “I was afraid we wouldn’t be able to prize you from the front lines.”
“I do as my duke commands,” she said with a wry smile. “Although I think you underestimate my curiosity in this instance.”
The duke smiled at her. “Well, we have your usual chamber prepared for you.”
“I offered to have you all share my rooms,” Saffron said to Coralie, Araminta, and me. “The house will be filled to the rafters, so I figured it was the safest option or who knows where they would have put you?”
She showed us the way to a small but elegant set of rooms furnished in rose satin. A number of pallets had been lined up on the floor, and I collapsed onto one of them, stretching myself out.
“It’s good to be out of that carriage.”
“Not for long in your case,” Saffron remarked, dumping her heavy travel cloak on her bed.
Araminta laid claim to the furthest pallet, and I waited for Coralie to take the one beside me. But she didn’t appear.
I popped back upright and found her staring unseeing at the door, her breaths increasing quickly toward hyperventilation.
“Coralie!” I rushed over and pulled her to sit on Saffron’s bed. “Breathe slowly. Come on, now.”
“Did you see?” she asked. “His mother barely even looked at me. She was probably hoping he would fall in love with you.”
“If they can’t see how amazing you are, then they don’t deserve to have you in their family.” I glanced over at Saffron who hovered nearby with a concerned expression. “No offense, Saffron.”
“Oh, I’m not worried for my sake,” Coralie said. “But they’re going to be so angry with Finnian. And you saw how they greeted him. It’s going to be just like I always feared. I’ll drive a wedge between them, and—” She broke off and pressed her eyes shut, taking a slow, deep breath.
I looked at Saffron who gazed back at me with equal concern, neither of us sure what to say. Araminta climbed over from the other side of the bed, squeezing in next to Coralie.
“It will be good for him. And them,” she said.
Coralie’s eyes sprang back open. “What do you mean?”
“I’ve seen what love looks like—real love,” she said. “Because I see it in my parents’ eyes when they look at each other and when they look at me. But I’ve also seen its absence. My father’s parents nearly disowned my father for who he chose to marry.”
Coralie frowned, but Araminta pressed on. “I know what it looks like, and it’s obvious Finnian’s parents truly love him. They want what’s best for him, that’s understandable. But love can be like shackles, too. When he chooses his own path—in defiance of their desires—that will be the true test.”
She reached out and gripped Coralie’s hand. “Their love will stand the test, I’m sure of it, and it will emerge stronger than ever. Finnian will thank you one day for showing him that his parents will love him no matter what. And they will thank you for showing them that Finnian can take his own path without being separated from them.”
She grinned. “And then, one day, they’ll realize what a fantastic daughter-in-law they’ve received, and be truly grateful.”
“That will probably happen the moment you give them their first grandbaby,” Saffron said with a wicked grin, and Coralie managed a chuckle.
“I think we’re getting a bit ahead of ourselves. But I hope you’re right.”
“We are,” Araminta said with feeling. “Believe me—I might not be a strong mage, but I know a great deal about complicated families.”
Coralie gave her a quick hug, and I threw Araminta a grateful look. With a mage father and commonborn mother, she must have a more complicated home life than any of us. Would her words have proven true for Lucas and me as well, if the Sekalis had never proposed an alliance? But then the royal family didn’t follow the usual rules.
When we joined everyone else in the vast formal dining hall, we encountered Helene before we found Finnian. This time her attention centered solely on Coralie.
“Coralie,” she said, her tone hard to read. “Of Cygnet, I believe?”
Coralie nodded. “My family live in Abalene.”
“So I have just heard.” Helene weighed her with her eyes. “It seems you have caught my son’s interest. I think it would be best if you joined me for tea tomorrow.”
“Thank you, that would be lovely.” Coralie’s poise belied her earlier panic.
Helene nodded at us all and swept away.
“So, tea.” Coralie let out a long breath and looked at Saffron. “Is that a good or bad sign?”
Saffron wrinkled her nose. “Neither, to be honest. Aunt Helene never makes up her mind about anyone without tea being involved.”
“An excellent quality, if you ask me,” I murmured, and Coralie laughed.
“I’ll take it as a good sign.”
“There you are!” Finnian appeared from the crowd, his attention on Coralie. “I spoke to my parents.”
“Yes, we gathered,” said Saffron. “Aunt already found us.”
A gong sounded, calling us all to the long table. Duke Dashiell sat at the head of the table, his wife on his right and Lorcan on his left. Lucas sat at the foot, the Sekalis around him, and for some reason I had been placed at Lorcan’s left, across from Finnian who sat beside his mother.
“You have rank now,” Finnian whispered to me as our friends headed for their seats in the middle of the table.
When I gave him a doubtful look, he grinned.
“I’m not saying anyone knows exactly what it is, but you do have it.” His face fell into a more serious expression. “Don’t forget it when you’re in the Empire. You’re not going as a trainee, but as the Spoken Mage. If you want respect, you must demand it.”
I bit my lip but nodded and took my place without protest.
My stomach growled as soon as we sat, and for a while I gave the food my full attention. But as the meal began to wind down, I noticed that Dashiell’s gaze seemed focused on the distant middle of the table. Following his line of sight, I could easily guess who was holding his attention.
I looked down into my plate. I wished there was something I could do to help my friend, but this was one drama that had nothing to do with me.
Lorcan, between the duke and me, must have noticed the same thing.
“She’s a good student,” he said quietly to the duke. “Clever, like her mother, but even more flexible in her thinking. The world is changing around us, Dashiell. Life won’t be the same for our children as it’s always been for us.”
I felt the weight of his gaze, and kept my eyes firmly on my food, lifting another forkful to my mouth.
“Flexibility is a quality that will stand her in good stead,” he finished.
The duke sighed, the sound heavy and weary.
“Forgive my insensitivity,” he said, “but tell me, old friend…Woul
d you be where you are today if things had not turned out as they did?”
Lorcan drew in an audible breath, taking several long moments before he answered.
“I cannot know what might have been, so let me answer a different question. If the choice had been mine, I would not have hesitated to choose her. Even knowing what my accomplishments might otherwise be.”
Dashiell froze for a moment, his eyes on his son now, and then he nodded slowly.
“Your counsel is always wise.”
He rose from the table, signaling the end of the meal, and others began to drift away also. I remained riveted in place, going over their words in my mind and trying to puzzle out their meaning. Had Lorcan once been faced with the same choice as Finnian?
“I spoke of my accomplishments,” Lorcan said, as if continuing the conversation although the duke had already left.
I looked up quickly, and he gave me a half smile.
“I suppose I meant becoming Academy Head, but in truth, I suspect you are my greatest accomplishment. I think the history books will remember me as the Head who enrolled and protected the Spoken Mage.”
I said nothing, unable to think of anything to say.
“It is something of a sobering reflection, if I am honest. But then, I suppose there are far worse things to be remembered for.” He swirled the glass of wine in his hand. “And with that in mind, you are probably wondering about the duke’s question.”
“I—”
He held up a hand and smiled. “Don’t bother trying to deny it. Curiosity is ever a hallmark of youth.
“When I was a mere trainee myself, I loved a fellow trainee from a minor family, much like your friend, Finnian.”
“Did your family refuse to accept the match?” I asked.
He glanced at me with raised brows. “My family? I do not know. I never had the chance to introduce her to them.” He paused. “She was killed in our first year at the front.”
I sucked in a breath. “Oh! I’m so sorry. I didn’t…” I let my words trail away, realizing there was nothing I could say.
“This was well before your time, and I have lived a great deal of life since then.” He leaned forward abruptly, spearing me with his gaze. “But you never forget. It never goes away. Some things shouldn’t be lost.”
I stared at him, my brows drawing together in confusion, but he pushed himself back from the table and stood.
“All of you trainees can take the afternoon off. I will not conduct any training sessions for your year mates until you have departed with the delegation tomorrow morning.”
He strode away, leaving me sitting alone, breathless. Had he been speaking of himself and his lost love? Or of Finnian and Coralie? Or did he speak of Lucas and me? Surely as Academy Head, he wasn’t advocating our sabotaging the alliance?
Locked in conversation with Lorcan, I had missed my friends and had to find my way back to Saffron’s rooms on my own. After three turns I found myself in a small sitting room that didn’t look in the least familiar.
I sighed and turned back toward the door, ready to find a servant and ask for assistance. But before I could leave the room, Lucas appeared, closing the door firmly behind him.
I stared at him, wondering if my intense thoughts of him had drawn him to me.
“What are you doing here?” I asked.
“I was following you.”
He took two long strides forward and pulled me into his arms, cutting off my response. Hard and fast, he pressed me against him and lowered his lips to mine.
Chapter 12
Heat raced through me, and I trembled, rising onto my tiptoes, driven by my desire to be closer to him. When he pulled away, tears streamed down my cheeks.
“Oh, Elena.” He scooped me up into his arms and crossed over to a nearby sofa, sitting with me on his lap. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
I clutched at his jacket and sobbed harder.
For a long minute we just sat there, and he let me cry, pressing the occasional kiss against my hair.
“I really am sorry,” he said when my tears eventually eased. “But this might be the last chance I ever have to do that.” His hands tightened convulsively around me at the words.
“I was so sure we would find a way,” I whispered. “But we’re not going to, are we?”
He trembled slightly, the movement only perceptible because of the way he held me close.
“I wish I could tell you I’d thought of a way. But I haven’t,” he said. “I’ve failed you.”
“No,” I said. “You’ve done what’s right, no matter the cost to you. That’s never a failure.”
He pressed his face into my hair. “But you’re sharing in that cost. I never wanted that.”
“I know you didn’t.”
We sat there for a long time, saying nothing, just being together.
“I’m going to train with my new ability,” I said. “With Jasper.”
He stirred, pushing me back a little so he could see my face more clearly.
“And it works just the same even though he’s commonborn?”
I nodded.
“It’s good to know that if anything goes wrong with the Sekalis, you’ll have the strength you need to fight your way home,” he murmured.
I frowned. “Are you expecting something to go wrong?”
“No,” he said quickly. “But it never hurts to be prepared.” He dropped his voice to a whisper. “If I can’t have you, I at least want to know that you’re safe and happy somewhere.”
“But how can I be happy without you?” I whispered back, and he groaned.
“Don’t say that. Please don’t say that.”
Voices sounded from the corridor, and we both fell silent until they passed by. Lucas stood, placing me back on my feet.
“I don’t know what the Sekalis would say if they discovered we were alone together. But I’m fairly sure they would consider it a dishonor to their princess. We can’t do this in the Empire.”
“I know,” I whispered.
But still our hands clasped tight together as we moved to the door. We paused in front of it, looking at each other without speaking. And then he took my face gently in his hands and placed the softest of kisses against my mouth.
The moment stretched out, saying what our words could not, and then he slipped out the door and was gone.
When my carriage rattled out of the duke’s gates the next morning, I didn’t look back. Jocasta was riding with me this time, and I didn’t want her to see me cry. I knew I would be returning to see my friends again, but somehow the goodbyes had felt weighty and significant, as if we wouldn’t be the same people when we met again.
Phineas of Stantorn, a senior member of the Royal Guard, led the delegation. As someone who was a relative of the royal family, through the queen, he made a logical choice. Especially since he had dedicated his life to the protection of the crown and spent many of those years representing the Royal Guard as a palace official. But I couldn’t shake the feeling of unease that the alliance hinged on a Stantorn.
“We won’t be in here long,” Jocasta said, her eyes on the window. “The road intersects with the river soon.” She looked across at me. “Have you ever traveled by boat?”
I shook my head. “I’m looking forward to it, actually.”
“I get seasick,” Jocasta said in a matter-of-fact voice.
“On a river?”
“On any water.”
I grimaced. “Don’t you come from the southern coast?”
She smiled slightly. “There’s a reason I chose to seek a position in Corrin.”
“And here you are having to ride on a boat again. I’m sorry.”
She gave me a confused look. “I’m not here for you, Elena. Or for the prince,” she added as an afterthought. “I’m here for the incredible opportunity for learning. The boat ride is merely a necessary evil.”
“Oh. Of course. I didn’t mean…” I trailed off awkwardly.
She shook her
head, amusement on her face. “Relax, Elena. With me, at least, you needn’t worry about offense.” She regarded me thoughtfully for a moment. “I know you and I have never been close, but you’re in deep waters now. And I want you to know that if you need someone to turn to, you can trust me.”
“Thank you,” I said, surprised.
Jocasta continued to watch me, and I had the uneasy feeling she could see right through me and knew I was struggling to imagine using her as any sort of confidante.
“Like I said, we’ve never had any particular connection,” she said after a moment. “But that’s precisely why I’m making the offer now. If there’s anything our nearly four years of proximity should have shown you, it’s that I don’t want anything from you. I don’t know how this trip is going to turn out, but it’s obvious that one way or another it’s going to be of great import to our kingdom. And, like it or not, you’re a part of that.”
“And you don’t think I’m equipped to be? You think I’ll need help?” If she said not to watch my words with her, then I would take that offer.
“I think you’re young,” she said. “Make of that what you will.”
I considered her for a moment.
“Thank you. I’ll take that into consideration.”
“Do.” She chuckled and looked back out the window. “Oh, look, the river. How excellent.”
I laughed at her dry tone and peered across the carriage to see out her window. The Overon River was narrower up here, but still wide and deep. It would easily carry a large enough boat. Except for the fact that we needed to travel upriver.
“I hope Duke Magnus sent some of his best, or it’s going to be a long trip,” I said.
“He did,” said Jocasta, moving toward the door as the carriage stopped. “I already checked.”
Sure enough, two senior wind workers I didn’t recognize took command, distributing us around the unadorned wooden barge in the most ideal positions for weight balance. I lost Jocasta in the shuffle but gained Jasper.
His face glowed with excitement, and he turned it into the wind.
“It feels good,” he said.
“What? The water?”
Voice of Life (The Spoken Mage Book 4) Page 14