Diana swallowed the lump in her throat and took the first bite. She had to eat since Tootsie had been so sweet to bring them food, but it tasted like sawdust mixed with onions.
Carmen nibbled on the burrito. “Things look better than they did yesterday, and there’s always hope. When Eli gets back from this mission, I’m going to make him talk about reconciliation. We’ve just grown apart, and we can fix that.”
Tootsie gave her a quick hug before she sat down beside her. “Have you talked to Eli today?”
“No, but he loves me. I know he does, even though he has doubts, and I’ll always love him. With some counseling, we can get through this.”
“You’ve got to get through the denial before you can move on. That’s a fact, and we’re not going to argue about it. I’ve reached the guilt stage of grief since Smokey died. I keep asking myself why in the hell we didn’t go on all the trips we’d planned instead of waiting so long to get the RV. There’s motels everywhere. We should have packed our bags and gone.” She picked up a burrito. “I thought nothing could be worse than seeing our pretty girls go to the service yesterday morning. I wanted to go with y’all, but I’d have been a big old bawlin’ baby. They didn’t need that, and neither did any of you. But I want y’all to know that Smokey was so damned proud of them when they decided to serve their country. The way he went on and on to anyone who’d stand still and listen, why, you’d swear they were his granddaughters by blood.”
“I’m not in denial,” Carmen protested. “I really think Eli and I can work this out.”
“So did I, even though Gerald had cheated on me,” Diana said. “Just know that we are here to support you, no matter what happens.”
Tootsie laid a hand on her heart. “Yes, we are, and with that said, I’ve been makin’ plans since yesterday and finalized them this morning. The only thing y’all have to do is agree with them.”
“What kind of plans?” Diana asked.
Tootsie lowered her voice. “Y’all got to promise not to think I’m crazy.”
“We’d never think that about you,” Diana declared.
“Okay, then, even though it was a month yesterday since Smokey passed away, I still talk to him,” Tootsie said between bites. “I was visitin’ with him yesterday morning about our anniversary trip that we take every fall. I needed a sign to know whether to go or not. It’ll be sad to go without him but even sadder to stay home and wish I’d gone.”
“I’m so sorry,” Carmen apologized. “With all this going on, I forgot. We should be comforting you, not getting taken care of.”
“It’s being needed that keeps me going. I know he can’t really answer me, but, by damn, he can send me signs, and he sure sent one in a big way yesterday,” Tootsie explained.
“How’s that?” Diana asked.
“With the divorce papers.”
“What?” Carmen frowned.
The wrinkles around Tootsie’s eyes deepened when she smiled. “Smokey and I vowed to each other that we’d live to be ninety, and then we wouldn’t fight the good Lord if He wanted to come and get us. When Smokey’s heart stopped when he was only eighty-two, I knew that God had other plans.”
“I’d forgotten that this is the time of year you and Smokey usually went away for a few weeks, but what has the divorce got to do with that?” Joanie asked.
“Oh, I’m going,” Tootsie said. “I’m going to make the trip, just like we planned, and stay at the old house up in Scrap, Texas. Only now I’m making different plans for the trip back. I think it’d be nice to take the motor home to Lawton and see the girls graduate from basic training, don’t y’all?”
“Oh, Tootsie, that is so, so sweet,” Carmen said with more enthusiasm than Diana had heard from her since the day before. “But we’ll worry about you out there on the road in that big vehicle all by yourself.”
“Y’all are going with me, so pack your bags. Smokey’s favorite nephew, Luke, is going to drive me. Y’all haven’t met him. Since he’s grown-up and not a little boy anymore, I only get to see him at the Colbert family reunion up in Paris in November each year and when he can get off to come to Scrap for Thanksgiving. He did come to the funeral, but things were so stressful, I hardly even realized he was here. He sold his company—some kind of software thing—this past month down in Houston, so he’s got some free time,” Tootsie said.
Diana sucked in a lungful of air. “Tootsie, we can’t do that. We can’t leave for a month.”
“Two months, maybe more,” Tootsie argued. “And why not? We’ll be in Lawton in time for the graduation.”
“But what if . . . ,” Joanie started.
“When’s Brett coming home?” Tootsie asked.
“He’s hoping to meet up with me in Lawton for the graduation,” Joanie answered.
“Carmen said yesterday that she wants to run away. Diana can do her insurance coding work from anywhere. So what’s the next excuse?” Tootsie asked.
“What if I need to be here for the divorce?” Carmen asked.
“Are you going to sign the papers? Is he being fair about everything?” Tootsie asked.
“I have no idea,” Carmen answered. “I can’t make heads or tails out of that stuff. I just know that it says Decree of Divorce across the top.”
“I thought so. I took the liberty of calling my lawyer to represent you. Don’t worry about the money. He was Smokey’s best friend, and he’s doing it as a favor to me. If you’ll let me take the papers with me, I’ll pass them on to him. Then y’all can keep in touch by phone about the whole rest of it,” Tootsie said. “Any more excuses other than that you just don’t want to be stuck in a camper or an old house back in the woods with an old woman?”
“Tootsie, how can you say that?” Carmen asked. “We love you. You’ve been a surrogate mother to us and a grandmother to our girls ever since we all moved in.”
Tootsie’s chin started to quiver. “Well, that’s the only reason I can think of that you’d make me take this trip alone.”
Carmen raised her hand. “I’m in.”
Diana took a deep breath and held it while she thought about the whole crazy idea. Tootsie was right. She could do her work anywhere. Being able to stay at home for Rebecca is what made her agree to do the work in the first place. All she needed was her laptop and the internet. But being cooped up with three other women in an RV, even if it was huge—and a strange man—she wasn’t so sure about that. Still, she couldn’t stand to stay at home with no friends around her at all for the next two months. Finally, she let the air out in a whoosh. “When are we leaving Sugar Run?”
Tootsie cocked her head to one side. “Friday morning. You with us, Joanie?”
“Well, I’m not stayin’ home alone. So I have until tomorrow morning to get things packed up and ready?”
Tootsie clapped her hands. “This is going to be so much fun. I can just hear Smokey laughing with happiness. And yes, Friday is the day, and we’re leaving here at seven thirty in the morning. That would’ve been Smokey’s eighty-third birthday. We’re staying in Texas City the first night and going to the Old Smokey Cook-Off on Saturday, then leaving that area on Sunday.”
“Old Smokey?” Joanie asked.
“We planned this trip all summer. He thought the cook-off would be a hoot since it has his name,” Tootsie said.
“Was he going to drive that big-ass RV?” Diana asked.
“Nope, I was,” Tootsie answered. “But Luke volunteered, and I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. You’ve got the rest of today to get ready, girls. Pack light. If you forget something, there’s Walmart stores everywhere. I’ll be taking these papers with me.” She swept out with the sheaf of papers.
“Did we really just agree to do this?” Carmen whispered.
“I think we did,” Diana answered. “But we could back out. We could think about it overnight and break the news to her tomorrow.”
“Not me,” Carmen disagreed. “I said I wanted to run away, and then she comes in with that invitat
ion. It’s an omen. I’m going. I’m trying to remember what she and Smokey talked about when they got home right before Christmas. What did they do up there in the woods for a whole month? And how big is this house? Are we going to be sleeping in lofts on mattresses?”
“It’s terrible, but I can’t remember,” Diana said. “I’m still in shock that we’re even considering running away, but yet it’s kind of exciting, isn’t it?”
“Oh!” Joanie gasped. “We didn’t even ask what kind of money we need. We can’t let her pay for the fuel for that gas hog or food—we have to eat.”
“We have to do that no matter whether we’re at home or out on a trip,” Diana said. “But let’s get it straightened out now about the gas.” She pulled her phone from her hip pocket, called Tootsie, and put it on speaker.
“I’m so glad you called,” Tootsie started without even staying hello first. “Y’all know that I’m a horrible cook, so here’s the deal. Y’all take turns making food for us every day we’re on the trip, and I’ll pay for the gas and the supplies.”
“Tootsie, the gas for this trip will be really expensive,” Diana said. “The only way we’ll consider it is if we can buy the food, too. We’ll gladly do the cooking.”
“Smokey left me well fixed, and I have no one except y’all and Luke, and he’s not blood kin. I’m payin’ for the trip whether y’all go or not, so I’ll hear no more about the fuel bill. It’ll cost me less to buy groceries and have home-cooked meals than for me and Luke to go out every night. So that’s that. Tell Carmen the lawyer is running by my place to get the divorce papers on his way to the golf course this morning. I may not be able to cook, but I did hold down a job as a secretary in the courthouse until I was sixty-five and retired.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Diana said as she ended the call.
“Well?” Carmen asked.
“I’d forgotten that she worked at the courthouse,” Joanie said.
“So to answer your question about what they did up there in the woods, I guess Smokey cooked and they just relaxed.” Diana picked up a chunk of cantaloupe with her fingers.
“We’ve all been tied in knots so long—I can’t imagine relaxing,” Carmen said.
“Me, either, but it sounds pretty good,” Joanie said. “Do y’all feel like you are flat-out drained?”
“Above and beyond.” As Carmen nodded, her phone rang. She took one look at it and paled. “It’s Eli.”
“We’re not going anywhere.” Joanie propped her feet up on the coffee table.
With shaking hands and a knot in her stomach the size of a watermelon, Carmen answered the phone. “Hello, Eli.”
“Put it on speaker,” Diana whispered.
Carmen hit the right button and laid the phone on the coffee table.
“Good morning, Carmen. Did you sign the papers?” he asked.
“No, and I’m not going to until my lawyer looks over them and I’m absolutely sure that this is the right thing to do. I think we should see a counselor and put this on hold for six months,” she said.
“Things haven’t been right between us for a long time. Counseling isn’t going to help. We need to do this as soon as possible, kind of like ripping off a Band-Aid.” His voice still had that cold edge to it, like the day before.
“Of course things haven’t been good between us. I’ve been busy raising our daughter and trying to get a degree to help out with the finances. You’re gone all the time. We just need some time together to rekindle our love,” she said.
For several seconds there was silence on the other end of the phone. “I fought it for a long time, I really did.”
“Wait. Fought what? You sure weren’t fighting me. I’m not giving up on us, Eli. I love you and always will.” Her heart thumped in her chest, and her pulse was racing as fast as it did after she jogged in the evenings.
“I’m not going to counseling. It’s over. Accept it and sign the papers,” he said.
“You’ll be home for Natalie’s basic-training graduation. Brett told Joanie that the team is coming home then, and I’m not signing anything until we talk face-to-face,” Carmen said.
“Don’t be like this, Carmen,” he said.
“How do you expect me to be? I’ve stayed home and tried my damnedest to be a model army wife. I never cheated on you one time. I raised our daughter, most of the time alone, and now you don’t even have the decency to tell me you’re considering a divorce until after you’ve filed? Come on, Eli, how would you feel if the roles were reversed?”
“I’m being fair. Until the divorce is final, you’ll still get the same amount of money each month,” he said.
“Fair is trying to make this work, not just being sure I can pay the mortgage and electric bill,” she said. “Give us six months. If at the end of that time, you still feel the same, I’ll sign the papers. I’m not speaking to you about this again until my lawyer tells me what all this legal shit means. Goodbye, Eli.”
“Wait a minute,” he yelled. “I’ve only got another few minutes before I have to hang up. Can’t you be reasonable? You don’t need to pay a lawyer. I’ve already done that. Read the papers. You’ll see that I’m not being unfair.”
Carmen looked around at her home, the little brick house that she was so proud of. Did the papers say it would be sold and what equity was in it would be split? Or did they say she could keep the house if she took over the payments? Natalie barely remembered a time when they didn’t live here. This was her home, and what if Carmen couldn’t keep up the mortgage on what she’d make at minimum wage before she got her degree? It would be her fault that Natalie’s home was gone.
“What’s the big hurry? Didn’t you just say that my money for keeping a home for our daughter will keep coming in until the divorce is settled? I’m not rushing anything. I may delay the signing for a year so I can finish my classes and get a job as a teacher.”
Joanie patted her on the back.
Diana gave her the thumbs-up sign.
“Nothing—not a therapist, not even God—is going to change my mind. It’s over. Accept it and move on,” Eli said.
She ended the call, jumped up and ran to the bathroom, leaned over the toilet, and brought up everything she’d drunk and eaten in the last hour. Diana held her hair back while Joanie wet a washcloth with cool water for her face afterward. The taste in her mouth was horrible, so she grabbed a bottle of mouthwash and rinsed it, then gagged at the taste and dry heaved until her sides and throat hurt.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “Why is he so determined to get the papers signed?”
“No need for apologies,” Diana told her. “I think you held my hair a few years back when I was in the same frame of mind you are right now. Only difference is, I was begging in person, and you’re doing it on the phone. And if I remember right, Joanie threatened to shoot him if he didn’t get out of the house. It’s just payback time. I’m going to make you a club soda with a little lemon twist. It’ll help.”
“And, honey, evidently he’s given this a lot of thought to want things to go quickly.” Joanie took her by the hand and led her to the sofa, made her stretch out on it, covered her with a throw, and sat down on the floor beside her.
Diana brought her the drink. “Here, sip on this. You did good on the phone. If you’d let him bully you into signing those papers right now, you’d have always felt like a doormat.”
“Why can’t he just give it some time? What’s the rush? Can’t he see I need a while to even adjust to the idea?” Carmen gasped and ran back to the bathroom. This time she put the toilet lid down and sat on it, bending forward until her head was between her knees. “I feel like I’m going to faint.”
Joanie got another cold washcloth ready and handed it off to Diana, who flipped Carmen’s dark ponytail to the side and laid it on her neck.
“How am I going to tell Natalie?” Carmen groaned.
“You’re not. That’s Eli’s job.” Diana handed the cloth back to Joanie, who ran it under the cold wa
ter again and then wrung it out. “When she can make and receive calls, he can explain it all to her, and she can make up her own mind about how to handle it. Thank God she’ll be through basic training before he comes home and she has to face him. She may be small, but she’s got a temper, and she’s liable to light into him.”
“But we share everything. How can I even talk to her in two or three weeks without telling her?” Carmen asked.
“By then, you’ll be over this first initial shock, but don’t you dare tell her. Eli’s the one who messed up, not you,” Joanie said. “Think you can make it back to the sofa?”
“I don’t know what I’d do without y’all.” Carmen’s chin started to quiver again.
“That’s what friends are for,” Diana told her.
Chapter Three
Diana eased open the door to her daughter’s room. Where had the years gone? It was only yesterday that she would’ve gone in and shaken Rebecca awake so she’d have time to eat breakfast before early-morning band practice. She sat down on the edge of the bed and looked around at the mess. Clothing on the floor, shoes flowing out from the closet door, one drawer hanging open on the chest of drawers, and at least a hundred pictures stuck around the mirror on her dresser.
“But if I touched a single thing, you’d know it the minute you walked into the room,” Diana muttered.
Even though her suitcase was packed, her laptop was in its case, and she’d even remembered a jacket and an umbrella, she couldn’t force herself to get up off her daughter’s bed and go over to Tootsie’s house. And yet, she wouldn’t let herself call and back out of the trip.
“I’m not deserting you,” she said out loud. “It’s not like I couldn’t wait for you to grow up and leave home so I could take a vacation alone. This is the hardest thing I’ve done since the day I signed divorce papers.”
Get out of my room. Rebecca’s voice came through loud and clear. I’ll clean it when I get home on leave.
The Empty Nesters Page 4