It was almost eleven o’clock that night when Tootsie brought out a bottle of wine from her secret stash on the top shelf of her closet and piled sugar cookies high on a platter. Meetings weren’t held in the South, especially Texas, without food and something to drink, so it was only right that the first official meeting of the empty nesters should at least have something.
In a few minutes the girls were all in her bedroom. “Make a circle in the middle of the bed, and as the oldest member of this club, I’m calling it to order. Old business will be discussed first. Did you all get your letters written?”
“Yes, but we forgot stamps, so we can’t mail them until we get to town,” Diana answered.
“I always bring a whole roll with me,” Tootsie said. “What I don’t use to write to y’all and the girls while I’m here, I use up to send out my Christmas cards when I get home. Problem solved. The stamps are in a little box above the fireplace. Help yourselves. Any other old business?”
She waited a few seconds and then said, “Okay, new business. We’ll start with Carmen. How are you really feeling?”
“It helps to have a kitten to love, but down deep, I’m still angry, a little bit depressed, and a whole lot antsy,” she admitted.
“It’ll take time, but one day you’ll realize that you hardly ever even think about him anymore,” Diana said.
“I believe you, but I sure wish that day would be tomorrow.” Carmen finished off her wine and held her glass out for more. “Now, Tootsie, tell us your new business.”
“I still talk to Smokey every night and lots of times through the day. Sometimes he talks back to me. Don’t tell anyone that I have voices in my head. They’ll think I’m crazy, but it brings me comfort to know that his spirit is still with me,” Tootsie admitted. “I may never get closure, but I’m strong, and I will survive.”
“I’d like to talk to Eli,” Carmen said.
“Okay.” Joanie set her glass to the side. “I’m Eli. Tell me off.”
Carmen narrowed her eyes. “You sorry bastard. I’m most mad at you because you had sex with me and told me you loved me when you walked out the door the next day, and you were planning to leave me for another woman, a pregnant woman, the whole time. I always deferred to you on everything because I never felt like I was good enough for you. I gave you my best, and now you’re getting out of the army, and you’re going to raise her son instead of our daughter. It’s not fair.” She took a deep breath and went right on. “And besides all that, I couldn’t have more children because you didn’t want them, and I couldn’t have a cat because you said you were allergic. And while we’re at it, I hate that living room suite you picked out. I may take it out in the yard and burn the damn thing. I can always use lawn chairs until I can afford to buy another one.”
She realized that if she’d been pointing a gun at Eli, she would have unloaded a full clip into him and then shoved in a new one for the next round. She downed the rest of her second glass of wine. “Damn, that felt good.”
“Anyone else got anything to say about this new business?” Tootsie asked.
“Just that I did the same thing with a therapist after Gerald left, and you’re right, Carmen, it felt damn good to unload on him even though he wasn’t Gerald.” Diana handed her a second cookie. “You need this to soak up some of that wine.”
“Moving on, then, Joanie, you got any new business?” Tootsie asked.
Joanie set her glass on the bedside table. “Hello, my name is Joanie, and I’m carrying around guilt like a security blanket.”
“Why?” Tootsie asked.
“I still have a husband that I love very much. My dream of having him home every night for supper is about to happen, and Carmen is going through this divorce, and Diana’s already been through one, and it’s made her so wary of dating that she’s afraid to even give Luke a chance.” She stopped for a breath. “Why should I be happy when y’all are in turmoil? Even you, Tootsie—getting your dreams shattered by losing Smokey—and here I am sitting on the top of the world. Why me? What did I do to deserve happiness when y’all don’t have it?”
Diana picked up Joanie’s glass and handed it back to her. “Give us the guilt blanket. We’ll burn the damn thing and scatter the ashes over the Red River. We’re so happy for you; not one of the three of us would ever want to throw shade on your sunshine. So let us share in your happiness.”
“But I’m the one breaking up the friendship,” Joanie groaned.
“No, honey.” Tootsie patted her on the knee. “Nothing could ever break up what we have. We’re family, and those bonds can’t be broken.”
“Thank you.” She held up her glass. “To family.”
They all touched theirs with hers and repeated what she’d said. Then Tootsie turned to Diana. “It’s your turn to share.”
“Hello, I’m Diana.” She grinned at Joanie. “I’ve been hiding behind a couple of birth certificates to keep from facing an attraction I have for Luke. That makes me an idiot, I know, but I’m afraid to trust anyone even after five years. Please don’t make that same mistake, Carmen.”
“I’ll do my best.” Carmen’s dark hair fell in front of her face when she nodded. She pushed it back behind her ears and picked up another cookie. “We’re getting crumbs on your bed.”
“We’ll take the bedspread out on the back porch and shake it when we adjourn this meeting. Go on, Diana,” Tootsie said.
“So Luke and I had a talk on Saturday.” Diana went on to tell them that she realized Luke had made perfect sense. “And so when we get home, Luke is going to ask me out to dinner, and I’m going with him. Then we’re coming back to my house, and we’re going to watch a Bourne movie.”
“And?” Joanie raised an eyebrow.
“And I’m still terrified to tell Rebecca that I’m really dating, as in maybe a serious relationship on down the road a few months or a year from now,” Diana added. “And I’ve never taken a man into the house I shared with Gerald. Sure, I broke the dishes he ate from and gave all his clothes away, but the house itself is where we had good times as well as bad ones. I’m afraid it will be strange having Luke there.”
“Yet, it could completely erase any spirit that Gerald left behind. You’ll just have to see what happens.” Tootsie shared the last of the wine between the four of them.
“What if it doesn’t, but then we get really serious—maybe deciding to spend the rest of our lives together?” Diana asked.
“Then you simply move into another house. I told you that Luke sold his company and made millions in the profit. If you get that serious, he can build you whatever kind of house you want. Hell, you can raze the one you’re living in and build a new one right there. I’d love having you two close to me,” Tootsie said.
“Are you serious?” Diana said.
“Oh, honey, I’m very serious. Luke isn’t a rich man like most folks might think. He’s just an ordinary bighearted guy who has a shitload of money,” Tootsie informed her. “Now do we have any more new business?”
“I can’t believe I was so gullible,” Carmen said.
“It’s all right to be angry. God gave us anger for a reason, and it’s fine to use it when we need to. Better to get it out rather than let it sit there in your gut and fester,” Diana told her.
“Amen.” Tootsie nodded. “I think we pretty well covered it. Now, Diana, you can read the plaque that’s over there on my dresser tonight. We’ll close with it every time we have a meeting, because we all need to hear it.”
“Is that the one that was in the motor home?” Diana asked.
“It is. I wouldn’t dream of going anywhere without it. Not even from the motor home to this house,” Tootsie said.
Diana read:
MAY GOD GRANT YOU ALWAYS
A SUNBEAM TO WARM YOU
A MOONBEAM TO CHARM YOU
A SHELTERING ANGEL SO NOTHING CAN HARM YOU
LAUGHTER TO CHEER YOU
FAITHFUL FRIENDS NEAR YOU
AND WHENEV
ER YOU PRAY
HEAVEN TO HEAR YOU.
“I feel better now, don’t y’all?” Tootsie said.
“I sure do.” Carmen slid off the bed. “When’s the next meeting?”
“Every Sunday night from now on, and once Joanie has moved, we’ll put her on speakerphone,” Tootsie said. “Good, cheap therapy.”
“When we get home, I’ll bring the wine,” Diana offered.
“We’ll take turns bringing it.” Tootsie grinned. “Now let’s all go to bed. I betcha Smokey will have a lot to say to me tonight after he’s heard all this.”
Chapter Eighteen
Diana’s sweater and jacket did little to keep the whistling north wind from chilling her to the bone as she carried a bundle of letters to the mailbox. She wasn’t used to late October being so cold. In Sugar Run, they’d still be using the air conditioner. She put up the flag to let the rural carrier know there was something to pick up and braced herself for the wind to hit her in the face as she started back. Then she heard the distant rumble of a vehicle and waited to see if it might be the mail truck.
Sure enough, it was, and the carrier put several things in the box, waved at her, and then drove on. She turned around and retraced her footsteps back to the mailbox, kicking leaves out of her way. She gathered a bundle of letters close to her body so the fierce wind wouldn’t blow them out of her hands. She did notice that the one on top had Carmen’s name on it and Natalie’s return address in the upper corner.
“Mail call,” she shouted as she entered the house. Joanie came from the kitchen, where she was making dinner, and Carmen ran down the stairs so fast that she almost fell. Tootsie laid her book aside, and Luke took out his earbuds.
“Okay, first one is Carmen’s; then there’s what looks like a bill for Luke.” She handed them out one by one.
“Lucky me. Carmen gets a handwritten letter, and I get a power bill,” he grumbled.
“Is it from Natalie?” Joanie asked.
“Yes, it is, and I’m going to take it up to my room and read it five hundred times and cry over every word, even if they’re just telling me how many push-ups she’s doing and what she’s eating.” Carmen started for the stairs.
“And another one for Carmen. This one has been forwarded from Sugar Run, so you might want to read it first,” Diana suggested.
“Happy Halloween to me,” Carmen sing-songed.
“And here’s two for Joanie, no, three. This one looks like a card, and it’s got Brett’s return address.” Diana passed them to Joanie.
“And three for Tootsie. Looks like each girl has written to you.”
Tootsie held them to her heart. “God love their sweet souls. I love getting mail.”
“And the last two plus the mortgage bill are for me,” Diana said. “And I’m going to do the same thing that Carmen’s doing—go up to my room and read these two letters a dozen times.”
“You could stay down here and share them with me since all I got was a bill from the electric company.” Luke laid his envelope to the side.
“Do you want to see her cry?” Tootsie asked.
“Good point. I don’t do well with weeping women, so go on, and I’ll just sit down here and pout over my bill,” he teased.
“I’ve yet to see you pout about anything.” Tootsie ripped into her first letter. “But just so you don’t start, I’ll share my letters with you.”
Diana hurried up to her room and laid her mail on the bed. Then she ran her fingers over Rebecca’s name in the upper left-hand corner. As if it were a Christmas present, she tore into it, not caring if she ripped up the envelope. She removed the letter, unfolded it, and read through the one page ten times. Rebecca was fine. She’d learned to make a bed with no wrinkles and so tight that she could bounce a quarter on it. The food wasn’t what Mama made, but it was good. She’d lost five pounds and was the tallest girl in her group. She missed her mama and couldn’t wait until they could have a long conversation. Zoe was struggling a little bit, but don’t say anything to Joanie. She’d work it out. Mostly just homesickness. And please, please write letters to her so she wouldn’t be so lonely.
Carmen was trying to keep her sobs quiet, but Diana could hear them. She wondered if she should go over to her, but until she could get her own emotions under control, it would simply be a sobbing fest like they’d had that day in the van when the girls all left.
She picked up the second envelope and tore into it, also. Rebecca was glad that she’d gone on the trip with Tootsie. She’d been worried about her being alone, and she’d gotten four letters that day. One from each of the army wives, as she called them, and one from Tootsie. Diana would have to write and tell her that they had a new name now—the empty nesters. Rebecca would get a kick out of that. The second letter covered three pages, and she talked about Natalie and Zoe. Surprisingly, they were having a rougher time with homesickness than she was, but then they’d never been through a tough divorce. She guessed that was what made her tough enough to help them, but it didn’t mean that she wasn’t a big baby who wished that she could talk to her mama every single night.
Diana laid both letters to the side, blew her nose, and wiped her tears. Hopefully Rebecca was tough enough to accept what she had to tell her about Luke when the time came. In the beginning, after the divorce was final, Rebecca had been in denial. She had declared quite loudly that her father would get tired of his new wife and would come back home where he belonged. By the time a year passed, she’d done a complete turnaround. She didn’t want him to come back, but she wasn’t ready for her mother to go out with anyone else.
Joanie rapped on her door and then came in without being invited. “Zoe says that she misses us and to tell you and Carmen that she’ll answer your letters next time they’re given free time to write home. She also says that she got so homesick that she cried for two nights. Natalie and Rebecca sat with her on the bathroom floor until she got things under control.”
“Rebecca said the same things. I’m surprised that Zoe told you about the homesickness. She told Rebecca that she didn’t want to worry you,” Diana said.
“And so did Natalie.” Carmen joined them. “It’s good just to have words on paper that we can go back and read until the next ones arrive.”
“I’ve got to go back downstairs to put the corn bread in the oven. It’s good that I’m cookin’ today, or I’d spend hours trying to figure out if there are any hidden messages in Zoe’s letters.” Joanie tried to smile, but it wasn’t very convincing. “Honestly, do y’all think she’ll be able to finish basic? And after that she’s got AIT. I can’t help but worry. She’ll feel like such a failure if she gets sent home and Rebecca and Natalie get through it.”
“She’ll make it,” Carmen said. “She’s in the same boat I am. Unsure of her decisions and scared of the future, but she’s got two friends who’ll support her and hold her up, just like I’ve got. Now let’s quit worrying and go make corn bread. I’ll help you. If I stay up here, I’ll start trying to find messages in Natalie’s letters, too.”
“Since we can’t give out candy tonight, at least we have letters we can send to our kids.” Diana managed a weak smile. “God, I miss Halloween at home. Decorating the porch and sitting in the rocking chair giving the little kids candy.”
“Me, too.” Carmen nodded, and then she and Joanie left the room and headed down to the kitchen.
Diana opened her notebook, intending to start a letter to Rebecca and tell her how much she missed Halloween. But before she wrote a word, she had another idea. She wrote:
Dear Luke,
We’ll all get handwritten letters every day or two during the rest of our time here. Doesn’t seem fair that you don’t get any at all, so I’m writing to you. This little trip has meant so much to all of us, and I can’t thank you enough for all you do for us . . .
She went on to fill up a page about how she missed her daughter but wanted to be strong for Carmen and Joanie, just like Rebecca was strong for her friends in b
asic training. Then she folded it, put the address on it, and tucked it under the dresser scarf to be mailed with the letters she would write to Rebecca.
Luke was messing around on his computer when he found that the little church only ten miles down the road was having what they called “Trunk or Treat” that night. He loved giving out candy to the kids in his neighborhood and immediately decided that he was going to participate in the fun in the church parking lot. He made a phone call to the number given for information, and when he mentioned that he was Tootsie Colbert’s nephew, the lady invited him to participate.
“I won’t be here for supper,” he announced at the dinner table and then went on to tell them what he was going to do. “Anyone want to join me?”
“Too chilly out there for me,” Tootsie answered. “But you go on and have fun. What are you going to give out?”
“Don’t know yet. I’m making a trip to the Walmart store in Paris to buy stuff.”
“Not me,” Joanie said. “I’m watching scary movies, like Zoe and I do every Halloween, though I’ll be pretending that she’s sitting on the sofa with me.”
“I’m with you,” Carmen said.
Tootsie raised a hand. “Count me in, too.”
Luke glanced over at Diana. “How about you?”
“I’d love to go,” she said. “What time are we leaving?”
“The event starts at five, so maybe three. That would give us time to drive down to Paris, load up on goodies, and get there when it kicks off.” Luke was so happy about getting to spend the evening alone with Diana, even if it was just on the drive to the store and home from the festivities, that he could have done a little jig.
“That will give me time to finish up my last little bit of work on the computer.” Diana passed around the plate of corn bread. “This is such a good day for vegetable soup.”
“And apple crisp for dessert,” Tootsie added.
When dinner was finished, Luke went out to the motor home and put in a call to his financial adviser. “I want to put my house on the market,” he said. “I’ll be out of town until the middle of December, but get it appraised, pick out a good real estate agent, and give them a key.”
The Empty Nesters Page 21