by Ella Brooke
There James was. Garishly attired in an expensive suit, his hair coiffed just so, and reading something on a small tablet. Vanessa could only imagine what her customers had thought, seeing this GQ-looking model wander into their store and stay there for hours. She approached him unhurriedly, taking deep breaths with every step.
“Sorry to keep you waiting,” she said.
“No, you’re not.” James grinned and looked up at her. “As is your right, I suppose, since you never asked me to come to your workplace. Get your, er, ‘special order’ done?”
“It isn’t finished, but I’m in a place where I can take a break.” Vanessa crossed her arms. “What did you want?”
“I thought I’d take you out to lunch.” James crossed one leg over the other and raised his brows. “Surely, even the boss gets to eat lunch?”
“Co-owner. Anisa does the management work.” Vanessa pursed her lips, then looked at her watch. He was just going to stay if she didn’t go with him now. Then he’d probably be there at closing, waiting to come with her when she picked up Jonah.
It was one thing for her to get attached only for James to leave again, but she couldn’t bear it if Jonah had to go through that.
“Fine. But I have to be back in an hour. I need to get this order done.”
James rose to his feet and offered his hand. “Where would you like to go?”
Vanessa raised a brow and smiled.
Five minutes later, they were walking away from a nearby taco truck, with James struggling to neatly take a bite from his taco over the small paper plate.
“Maybe we ought to find somewhere to sit,” he suggested.
Vanessa chuckled and motioned for him to follow her. Pretty soon, the foliage surrounding the opening of the nearby park came into view. Vanessa led him towards a few benches that overlooked the small spread of greenery tucked in between the towering steel and concrete around them. “Now, dig in, Your Highness.”
“Oh, come on. I’m just eating a taco. It’s not an international scandal.” James leaned in and hesitantly took a bite. “Ah… It’s good. Spicy.”
“Tacos tend to be.”
James wiped his mouth. Vanessa held back a laugh. She’d forgotten that quirk of his; wiping his mouth after almost every bite.
“How’s the fish?” He frowned uncertainly.
“I always get the fish. And it’s grilled and it’s great.”
In between bites of taco and swigs of her root beer, Vanessa watched the people in the park. There was a group doing yoga together on the grass, and a few people out walking their dogs.
“Do you have lunch here often?” James asked.
“Sometimes I do.” Vanessa shrugged. “Often, though, one of the girls picks up sandwiches, and I eat at the bakery.”
“Seems more peaceful to spend your break in the park.”
“I’m a co-owner and the head baker. I have to be at the shop if they need me.” Vanessa set her plate in her lap and looked up at him. “I have responsibilities. I have to think of the business, my employees. I have to be there for Jonah. If the business doesn’t do well, I can’t take care of him.”
James had the sense to look a bit chagrined. “Fair enough. But this is nice, isn’t it? Being able to take a moment to yourself.”
“True. I guess. I don’t usually get to be selfish.”
“I don’t think it’s selfish.”
“Isn’t it? By definition?” Vanessa let her eyes drift over people doing yoga, arms stretched above their heads as they balanced on one leg. “When you have a child, when you have a business, doing things that only benefit yourself… It’s a difficult thing to justify sometimes.”
“But you need to keep yourself healthy and in good spirits, don’t you? Or you won’t be able to be there for those who need you.”
“Yeah, if I need to see a doctor, I do. Obviously. That doesn’t mean I get to sit back and sniff the flowers whenever I want.”
James sat his plate on the side of the bench and turned towards her. “I do know how you feel, believe it or not.”
“Do you? Because when I looked it up, apparently your brother is the one who took the throne.” Vanessa tried to keep her voice calm, but she couldn’t help the edge of bitterness that crept in. “So, who exactly are you being there for, Jamie? It wasn’t me. It wasn’t…”
Their eyes met as she faltered. She knew he knew. He was too smart not to know. Why he hadn’t pushed the matter, she didn’t quite understand. Except that, maybe, if he did, he would have to do something about it.
James ran a hand through his hair and frowned slightly. “For the past several years, I have been there for Marcus. My brother. When our father died, he was beside himself. On top of that, our uncle was vying to put his son on the throne instead.”
Vanessa lifted her chin slightly. She hadn’t heard about a power struggle.
“My brother needed me, not just as a brother, but as an advisor. He needed me to be present and an active part of the Senate. If I hadn’t returned, my cousin would have become the king, and likely, his father would be in charge.”
“So? What does it matter which part of your family is in charge?”
James folded his hands and sighed. “It matters for those who need us. It matters to the people. My cousin is a fine person, but if my uncle had power, he would most definitely have sold us out.” One thumb stroked the other. “I know it might not seem like it matters, but he had made promises to others in power, businesses that would draw funding away from our national revenue. The country would grow poorer and poorer. The people would suffer.”
“That sounds like he was running a scam.”
“Essentially. Only it wouldn’t matter if people knew he was in it to make his rich friends richer. If his son were the king, he would pardon anything his father did.” James grimaced.
“That does sound horrible.” Vanessa pressed her lips into a line. “I’m sorry to hear about your father. I remember how hard it was to lose my mother. Was your brother close to him?”
“Extremely. Marcus is a lot older than I am, and he’d been helping our father with the running of things for years. He’s still not over it.”
Vanessa reached over and put her hand on his. That pain, it still echoed into her life relentlessly. In dreams, in stray thoughts, her mother was still with her, only making herself known with her absence.
“So, you left because you had to.” Vanessa nodded. She bit her lip. “What about that scenario made it so you couldn’t tell me you had to leave?”
James’s cheeks colored slightly. “When I first left, it wasn’t my choice. The security team my brother sent intercepted me and had me in the armored car before I could decide what to do. There was a real risk that my uncle might decide to take out the competition, as it were.”
“Would he really do that for the throne?”
“The throne, maybe not. For the money he could acquire, I believe so.” James paused. “He did make an attempt on Marcus’s life before it was all over.”
Vanessa nodded again. His fingers curled around hers. His hands were so big in comparison. Once, they had seemed so strong, so in control.
“Is he still a danger to you?” she asked.
James shook his head. “Marcus had the man imprisoned, and I spoke to my cousin Arlon’s wife, and got her to convince Arlon to let the crown go in lieu of a position in the Senate. We’re fine now.”
Vanessa pulled her hand back. “So, what kept you from calling me for the past five years?”
“Van, it was a tense situation. I couldn’t contact you—”
“For how long, though? Because unless this situation happened to have been resolved last week, I feel like you might have dropped me a line.” Vanessa stood and brushed off her pants. “Five years, James! We went from ‘I love you’ to complete radio silence! I was worried! I thought you might have died!”
“Well, er… I mean, it was a possibility.” James stood. “Please, don’t be angry, I just thou
ght…”
“What?” Vanessa demanded. “That I wouldn’t care that you were gone? That you meant so little to me I would just forget about you?”
“I thought you’d be better off without me in your life.”
Vanessa narrowed her eyes. “That wasn’t a decision you should’ve made without at least talking to me. But, as it turns out, maybe you were right.”
Moving quickly, Vanessa made for the street. She could hear James behind her, pleading with her to stop and talk, but she didn’t turn. She didn’t even slow down. It wasn’t fair of him to drop this all on her now, after having unilaterally cut her out of his life.
She just wished she felt less conflicted about cutting him out of Jonah’s.
Chapter Four
James
“Are we going after her?”
Lorenzo approached James from behind. He hadn’t been trying to keep track of whether Lorenzo had been following them. He always did during a trip abroad, apart from the other day when James had slipped him for a bit. As it turned out, Lorenzo had tracked him to Vanessa’s building and waited in the lobby until he’d left. So, despite keeping out of sight while James was spending time with Vanessa today, he had always been at their back, watching and waiting. Just in case.
“No.” James sighed heavily. “I need to give her time.”
“Sounds like you gave her quite a bit already.”
James glared at him. The towering man shrugged and crossed his arms.
“I wasn’t trying to listen, but there aren’t many places where I could remain unnoticed and still see you,” Lorenzo said.
“Regardless, it’s none of your business.”
“It wasn’t really your fault, back then,” Lorenzo said. “She’ll understand when she’s less angry.”
“It’s the angry part that’s going to be a problem. And I can’t say she’s wrong to feel that way.”
James collected their plates and threw them in the trash before heading out of the park. He had been all over the world in his life. His childhood had been smooth and uneventful, but full of varied experiences. Five years ago, he’d wanted nothing more than to share that life with the vivacious, young culinary student he’d met in the park. It had been one of his major regrets that he’d let royal drama come between them, but by the time it had ended, he’d been gone for more than a year.
At that point, James had assumed Vanessa would have moved on. She’d had so much going for her. She was funny, kind, and absolutely lovely. It seemed inevitable that she would have found someone else by the time he managed to get back.
But of course, there was the Jonah of it all. How could she forget James, when she had this sweet-faced, tangible reminder of their time together?
James returned to the hotel with Lorenzo by his side. There was no point following Vanessa back to the bakery. She was too hurt and too angry. He needed her with a clearer head, if she was going to let him into her life again.
Not to mention, she wouldn’t be overly thrilled that James had not returned to the States for her, but as part of a PR trip. Running into her at the park had been a complete accident— happy one, but an accident nonetheless. If only he’d had the gumption to make the decision to try to find her and make things right. Give her that closure that both of them had been denied.
Slowly walking into his suite, James’s mind was overrun with excuses and regrets. True, it had been impossible for him to step away from his family at that moment. And he hadn’t found an opportunity to contact her until he’d landed in Rusteria. He could have done more, though. He could’ve been a man about it, been strong, and gone to make sure that Vanessa was okay.
She had every right to be furious. She had every right to be unreasonable.
He dropped onto one of two expansive dusty-blue sofas and let his head drop back. He still remembered the joy he felt, after a long day arguing with his father and brother about his responsibilities to the family, knowing that she would be coming to the door late in the evening. She’d get off her classes or part-time job, change, and then be right in his arms. Vanessa had been a bright spark in his life. A sign that, even if he wasn’t where his family thought he should be, it was the right place to be.
James frowned as his phone began buzzing. He rarely got calls, and when he looked at it, it was simply a series of text messages directing him to call on his laptop where they could see one another. Marcus, of course.
He pushed himself up with effort and went to the study where he’d left the laptop. It was a neat, prim space, and he had only spent an hour there each day, keeping notes on the recorded meetings of the Senate that he was missing while he was away. He hoped a little that Marcus would be far too busy to speak to him right now. His brother was unlikely to have called just because he missed him. He had both a country to run and a family to be a father to.
James felt his chest growing tight at that thought. Telling Marcus about Jonah right now would be a bad idea. He’d just launch into a lecture (one five years too late) about responsibility. He might even have ideas about what they should do with Jonah.
“Good afternoon, Prince James,” said Barda. She gave him a proper nod as a greeting.
“Good afternoon,” James replied. Barda worked as the current royal secretary. It was a bit like being greeted by a stern grandmother. “King Marcus indicated that he would like to speak with me.”
“Indeed, Your Highness,” Barda nodded. “He is indisposed just now. Could you wait a few moments while I see if he can come to talk?”
“Sounds fine.”
James rolled his eyes when her face left his screen and picked up the laptop, keeping it open, and went to the kitchen. He grabbed his shaker and a bottle of gin from the freezer, and some vermouth. By the time the screen came to life again, he had a frosty martini in his hand and was munching on some olives.
“Afternoon, Your Majesty.”
“Honestly, James. At this hour?”
“You’re six hours ahead of me.” James sipped his martini without shame.
“Yes, which would make it about 1:32 p.m. there, wouldn’t it?” Marcus scolded. He was such an old man already.
“For starters, this is my first one. Second, I just had lunch, meaning I’m basically having a drink with my meal. And third, I’m not a child. I can drink if I like.” James shifted himself on his stool and set the glass down. “But you didn’t call me just to scold me for day drinking. ‘Indisposed?’ I hope that means you and your wife were working on heir number four.”
Marcus’s lips twisted in displeasure. “I called because of your behavior, indeed. Remember this is a PR mission. You can’t be out flirting with any woman you like.”
“I’m certain I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’ve been a perfect gentleman.”
Marcus looked down at his keyboard and typed slowly, but determinedly. Several minutes passed.
“Maybe you’d like to tell me what you’re angry about. Or what you’re trying to find there,” James suggested. Just then a picture appeared in the corner of the window with he and Vanessa in the park, holding hands. “That was fast.”
“Fast, indeed. We live in a bold new world of social media.”
“You can see perfectly well that I was there having lunch. As for the hand-holding… Is that really such a disgrace to our country? I held a woman’s hand? We’re not fundamentalists, Marc.”
“The problem isn’t what you’re doing, but what it implies. You’ve been in town a week. During that time, you were to speak with the embassy and ensure everything was prepared for Emil and Annamarisa. When have you had the time to get on such close terms with a woman?” When James began to protest, Marcus held his hand up. “Don’t lie to me. The tabloids are overreacting. I am not. I know you, and I know that look.” His voice softened. “You can’t have fallen for a woman in such a short amount of time.”
“I haven’t,” James said honestly.
“Your eyes in that picture say differently.”
/> James sighed. He rolled his shoulders back twice and knocked back the rest of his martini. “Not in a week. I knew her when I was here before. Before I had to leave to come help you.”
The last part came out more bitterly than he’d intended, but James didn’t apologize or make an excuse. He simply watched the realization on his brother’s face.
“I didn’t realize you had someone back then,” he said finally.
“You didn’t ask. And it’s been so long, anyway. She’s quite closed off to my advances. Whoever took that picture got lucky and then decided not to include the part when she left me there in the park.”
James turned to pour himself a second martini. Marcus looked a bit abashed, but his brow furrowed, and he seemed to harden.
“I’m sorry this didn’t go well for you. Please keep in mind that every moment you are abroad, you are broadcasting an image to the world about who Rusterians are. I beg you to try and ensure it is a good one.”
Marcus’s scolding was difficult to ignore, but James pushed it out of his mind. He had no intention of shaming his country, by having an interest in the mother of his child.
He headed up the stairs to the bedroom loft above the generous penthouse suite and unfastened the first couple of buttons on his shirt. His bed, wider than he would need to fit himself and three other people in, was soft as he dropped on it. He would’ve been overjoyed to have Vanessa somehow appear at his door. Even if was to talk more about the uncomfortable reality of their relationship, even if it was just to fight, he wished he could see her face.
He imagined, almost illicitly, how she looked in her apron. She’d busied herself in his kitchen dozens of times back then, and he had snuck up behind her to envelop her in his arms, or come at her from the front, kissing her deeply and tasting the sweetness on her lips. There was a benefit to having a baking addict in one’s life. His apartment had always smelled of lemon cookies, or fresh croissants, or some Mexican chocolate cake with cinnamon. It was an explosion of sweetness that, under other circumstances, he never would have given up.