‘I do need a taster,’ I replied. ‘We need to make sure this cake is just right so we’ll have to try a lot. Are you sure you’re up to the job, Izzy?’ I asked her with mock seriousness.
Izzy stood a little bit straighter. ‘I won’t let you down,’ she replied, solemnly.
Caroline laughed as she brought over two tall glasses of my aunt’s homemade lemonade. ‘Well, I’ll leave you two to your tasting then. I definitely won’t fit into my wedding outfit if I stay, plus I need to check in with the florist.’
‘How was school?’ I asked Izzy as I sipped the lemonade. It tasted as good as I remembered from my childhood.
She sat down opposite me at the table. ‘Well, English was good and it was fun playing rounders, but this afternoon we had a double maths lesson.’
I groaned sympathetically. ‘I hated maths at school too.’
She held up her glass and I clinked it with a chuckle.
‘Right, I think it might be ready to come out of the oven now.’ I got up and went over to the Aga, which Aunt Sally had shown me how to use, and pulled out the perfectly browned sponge. Placing it on a wire rack to cool, I showed Izzy the flowers I had sketched in my notebook. ‘I want to make these out of icing to decorate the cake. Hopefully they will match the flowers that will be climbing over the gazebo arch at the ceremony. I’d like the icing of the tiers to match but it’s going to be tricky to get the right lemon and maroon food colouring, I think.’
‘They’re so pretty,’ she said, leaning over to look. ‘Will you put anything on top of the cake?’
‘Well, I think a bride and groom is a bit old-fashioned for this wedding but I’ve had a few ideas. I might leave that as a surprise for everyone, though,’ I replied. She sighed, making me smile. ‘Now that we’re on our own, you can be honest with me. Your mum has gone to pick up my dress for the wedding. She’s been so secretive about it. Am I going to like it?’
‘You’ll love it,’ Izzy replied. ‘As soon as we saw it, she said it was the perfect dress for you.’
‘Well then, I can’t wait to see it.’ I had protested about Beth making me a bridesmaid ever since she had phoned me to tell me that she was engaged. She had Izzy, after all, and her best friend up here, Heather, was going to be maid of honour but Beth had insisted she wanted me in the bridal party, and that I had to wear a dress along with Izzy and Heather. I still thought I was too old to be a bridesmaid but I was touched she had wanted me to be part of it all and she did have amazing taste so I was hopeful the dress wouldn’t be a hideous meringue or anything.
‘Is it cool enough to try yet?’ Izzy asked, looking over at the cake.
‘I doubt it but never mind, let’s try it anyway.’ I cut up two slices and brought them back to the table. ‘Okay, you go first and be honest with me about what you think,’ I said, handing her one.
She took a big bite and chewed it thoughtfully. ‘Ooh, it’s so good. Lemon-y but then also a bit floral. It smells nice… And it’s really light. What is it?’
‘It’s lemon and lavender. I thought Beth would approve of that,’ I said, cutting myself a bit to try. ‘I’m really happy with that. I think we might need a touch more lemon rind in there to give it a real kick,’ I said, jotting that down in my recipe notebook. ‘And I’m going to try dark chocolate buttercream between it and the next layer. What do you think?’
Izzy grinned. ‘Chocolate is always a good idea.’
‘My thoughts exactly.’
* * *
I perched on the bed in my room at the Hall as Beth hung up the big plastic bag containing my dress on the full-length mirror.
‘Okay, drum roll please…’ she said to Izzy, who sat on the window seat. She started drumming her fingers on the windowsill. Beth reached up and did a dramatically slow pulling down of the zip, shedding the bag from the dress. ‘Ta-da!’ she cried, holding out her hands like a magician’s assistant as the dress was finally revealed.
I leaned forward. It was a knee-length pretty tea dress, pale lemon with tiny flowers throughout. ‘Oh, it’s really pretty,’ I said, smiling as I realised she had noted my love of floral dresses and simple looks and come up with the perfect dress.
‘I think it will look lovely with Izzy’s prom style dress, and Heather’s – which is a long one, all in lemon shades,’ Beth said. ‘And your bouquets will be lemon and maroon too… do you really like it?’ she asked, looking at me anxiously.
‘I really do. Let me try it on.’ I jumped up and pulled off my cropped jeans and t-shirt, slipping into it easily. It was a little bit snug on my boobs but that often happened with dresses thanks to my hour-glass figure. I stood in front of the mirror. The colour looked lovely against my light hair and I was starting to get a summer glow to my skin, which set it off nicely.
‘We just need the perfect shoes,’ Beth said, smiling from behind me. ‘What do you think, Iz?’
‘You look lovely, Emily. Really pretty.’
‘Thank you, darling. It’s such a great find, Beth.’
‘It’s from a vintage shop that Heather knows in town; we got all the bridesmaid dresses there. Mine is being made but I’m keeping it as a surprise from all of you,’ she said with a grin. ‘Which my mother is constantly moaning about.’ Her eyes twinkled, making it clear that she was quite enjoying winding her mum up even though they were much closer now than they had been when she was growing up. ‘It’s all coming together,’ she said. ‘I can’t believe it’s almost here.’
‘We’re finally going to be a family,’ Izzy said. ‘I can’t wait.’
Beth went over and sat with her, draping an arm around her. ‘Me neither.’ Izzy leaned against her, and I found myself looking away, my heart squeezing a little inside my chest. I couldn’t help but look at their closeness and think of the family I so desperately wanted.
‘I’d better get this off,’ I said, giving my reflection one last glance. It really did suit me. I wished that Greg could see it on me but I knew that one pretty dress wasn’t about to solve our problems. Still, I could imagine the wolf-whistle he would have let out if he had been with me. He was always saying I should show off my figure, telling me that my curves were the thing that he loved the most about my looks. I tried really hard not to think about slim, leggy Steph but it was impossible not to. She was younger and prettier than me. That hurt. I couldn’t deny it. It made me angry all over again with him that he had chosen to leave our bed for hers.
‘Are you okay?’ Beth asked me as I turned abruptly from the mirror.
‘I’m fine,’ I assured her as I stepped out of the dress, hating that I couldn’t be as excited about her wedding as I so desperately wanted to be. Greg really did have a lot to answer for.
Chapter Ten
A couple of days later, Beth and Izzy had left the Hall to have dinner with Rory and Heather at their farm, and Caroline was with John at his cottage in the grounds, so Aunt Sally and I decided to go to the pub in Glendale village together for food.
It was such a lovely summer’s evening so we walked there. The sun was still high in the sky despite it being early evening. ‘How did you know that you and my uncle belonged together?’ I found myself blurting out. The sun warmed my back and the birds were noisy in the trees above us. It felt like a world away from London. I found that I was starting to have that relaxed holiday feeling, which was impressive considering how stressed I was about me and Greg.
Aunt Sally glanced across at me but she thought my question over for a moment. She was my mum’s older sister and had been a constant through my childhood. She was kind and sensible and I had definitely inherited my love of baking from her. My mum couldn’t cook at all so Aunt Sally had taught me. ‘Alec was the first and only man I ever loved. We were at school together but when we were young, I didn’t like him at all,’ she replied, smiling at the memory. ‘He was loud and boisterous, always playing football. He had brothers and they would shout and play-fight all the time. I think he intimidated me a little. Then, when we were fiftee
n, we had a school dance and this girl who I had never got on with started saying mean things to me and my friend. Suddenly, Alec was there telling her to back off. He asked me to dance. He was really popular at school, always joking and laughing, whereas I was the quiet, studious one in the corner, so it was a big deal, you know?’ I nodded. ‘When he put his arms around me, I had never felt braver or safer all at once. After the dance, he walked me home and asked if he could kiss me. After that, we were inseparable. We married when I was eighteen, and he was nineteen. He told me once that we were complete opposites and that’s what made us a perfect fit. I think he was right.’
I let out a little sigh. It was so hard for my aunt when Alec passed away far too young. They had planned on growing old together but that had been cruelly taken away from them. He’d had a sudden heart attack in his forties, and Sally had been devastated. ‘I’m so sorry that you had to lose him like you did.’
‘I know. And it was the hardest thing but I know how lucky we were. Not many people find someone they belong with like we did. That has always been enough for me. Why, may I ask, has Alec come to your mind tonight?’
‘I suppose I’ve been thinking about the future, you know? Whether Greg and I are the right fit… I thought we were but now I’m not as sure.’ I not only had Sally’s one true love to live up to, but my own parents had been happily married for years, a true strong partnership, and one that I had always assumed I’d find for myself. And when Greg crashed into my life, I had thought case closed, but now everything felt uncertain.
‘Is that why you’ve come up here without him?’
I glanced at the shrewd look my aunt gave me. ‘I suppose so, yes.’
‘I know that nowadays people give up on relationships a lot quicker than they did in my day. We knew that you had to work at marriage for it to last happily. Now, I don’t know, you can walk away so easily… but that doesn’t mean I’d ever advocate staying with someone because you feel you have to. A true, lasting relationship is a choice you both make every day. Does that make sense?’
I nodded slowly. ‘I think so. Even when it gets hard, and you have disagreements, if they’re the right person then you still want to be with them, you want to work it out, and so do they.’
‘Exactly. And if you’re not sure they’re worth fighting for then that might mean that they’re not. Only you know the answer to that, Emily.’ She gave me a reassuring smile. We reached the pub then and found a table in the beer garden. I went to order us drinks and food inside, thinking about what Aunt Sally had said. She had never considered leaving Glendale, even when she lost Alec; she loved this place so much that even my parents, and me, being in London hadn’t changed her mind about staying here. I admired how strong she had always been about what she wanted to do. I wished I was as decisive about my own life. I felt as if I was always thinking and worrying more about what other people thought or felt so I didn’t always consider my own heart in things. Aunt Sally wasn’t like that.
Take Greg, for example. After we had fallen in love and started talking about the future, I had told him how I wanted to get married and have a family but he had claimed marriage was just a piece of paper, something we didn’t need, a waste of money, old-fashioned even, and because he had been excited about trying for a baby, I had let it go. I had gone along with him and we’d moved in together, with no prospect of getting married. Now, I wondered if that had been the real start of our problems. If you didn’t both want the same things in life, could you really make a life together?
I shook myself out of my thoughts to take the drinks the barman handed me, and I walked outside and joined Aunt Sally at the table.
‘How is everything at Molly’s?’ Sally asked, taking a sip of her wine.
‘It’s really busy. I felt bad leaving her but her family are around to help. I get the feeling they wish she would start leaving the everyday running of the bakery to someone else, you know? I don’t know what I’d do if Molly wasn’t there, though. I love working with her.’
‘Do you not still want to have your own bakery one day?’ she asked, raising an eyebrow.
‘I would still love that, yes, but it would take so much work, and money – especially in London – to set it all up. And I suppose I put it off because I thought Greg and I would be having a family.’ I looked down at my wine, and wiped at the condensation on the glass with my fingertips. That felt even further away than ever.
‘I suppose you do sometimes have to think about your priorities and focus on them,’ Sally said. ‘Alec and I were never blessed with children so I was very glad of my work at the Hall when he passed, and now helping with the shop has been a lot of fun; it’s been wonderful to have been there building it up from the start with Beth and Caroline.’
‘I think you guys have done a great job with it,’ I said, pleased she had found a project to bring her joy. She was right – I had prioritised Greg over my bakery dream. It was impossible now not to worry that had been a bad idea. ‘I do envy the fact that you guys created something of your own. I love Molly and her bakery is a wonderful place to work but it’s all hers.’
‘You’ll figure out what you want to do. I know you, Emily, you often take the long way around in life but that’s just you. You’ve always had to weigh things up carefully, consider what you want before doing it. That’s no bad thing.’
I thought that I was like that with most things, but not with Greg. I hadn’t carefully considered that at all. When he asked me to move in with him just three months into dating, I had ignored my usual pros and cons list, and jumped in heart first. He had made me feel like I was fearless but perhaps I had leapt just a bit too quickly. ‘Except when I just follow my heart, that’s when it all goes wrong.’
She shook her head. ‘Even if things aren’t working out between you and Greg, and I’m not going to ask for the ins and outs of that, it’s up to you what you want to tell me, but that doesn’t mean you were wrong to take that chance then. Everyone brings something to our lives when we let them in. They all change us in some way, for better or worse. Greg was meant to come into your life, you just need to decide if he’s meant to be in it for keeps or not. Sometimes it’s not always clear why things happen until you get some distance from them. One day, you’ll know what you want, I’m sure of that.’
‘Aunt Sally, what would I do without you?’ I asked her as our food was brought over.
She chuckled. ‘You know very well you would be fine, I’m not really telling you anything you don’t know yourself. Right in here.’ She put her hand over her heart and then picked up her cutlery. ‘Well, this looks tasty, doesn't it?’
I smiled. ‘It does.’ Even though I still had no answers to my questions, she had made me feel better if only for her faith that one day I would be able to answer them.
Chapter Eleven
‘A garden party sounds very fancy,’ I said, over breakfast at the Hall on Saturday morning. I still didn’t fancy coffee for some reason so I was drinking orange juice with my scrambled eggs and bacon. Everyone was up and about early to prepare for the party that afternoon.
Beth smiled. ‘My grandmother used to hold them here when my mum was young. She thought we should reinstate them,’ she said, looking affectionately at Caroline who was going through the list of food and drink with Aunt Sally. ‘We now have the Christmas trail of lights in December, and this in June. We thought we could use it to help the village, and it worked really well last summer.’
People paid for tickets to the garden party, Beth told me, and the money went back to the community – helping to keep things like the library open, the High Street clean and tidy, the hanging baskets there in the summer, and fairy lights in winter, the large Christmas tree in the middle of the village, and services that were voluntarily run, such as providing lunch for the elderly in the church hall, or a kids’ club in the school holidays. ‘I think it sounds like a great idea, and I’m sure everyone appreciates you still having it with the wedding so close. Can I
help at all?’
‘We want to serve summer punch and that needs mixing, if you’re okay to do that?’ Aunt Sally asked.
‘Of course,’ I said, standing up, ready to pitch in.
‘I’m off to help John and Drew put out the tables and chairs,’ Beth said, jumping up. ‘Izzy, can you help your grandmother put up the sign outside? Not everyone can see the entrance until it’s too late otherwise.’
I followed Aunt Sally into the kitchen. The French doors had been thrown open to let in the breeze. It promised to be a long, hot summer’s day. I could see why my aunt loved living and working at the Hall so much, there always seemed to be something to do, no idle days to think of long-lost loves, you could always be busy here, and there were always people around to stave off any feeling of loneliness. I had only been at the Hall for a few days but London, and Greg, felt as if they were in another world entirely. It was only when he phoned or sent me a message that thoughts of him came flooding back, otherwise it would have been easy to shut our problems away in a box and not think about them at all while I was here. I tried not to think about what I’d have to face once the wedding was over, and I had to go back home.
‘This sounds delicious,’ I said, looking at Sally’s recipe for the punch. ‘And potent, too.’
‘Your grandmother used to make it on special occasions so it’s a long-held family recipe.’ She passed me two large glass bowls, and two ladles. She was icing cupcakes that she had baked yesterday, and we worked side-by-side in comfortable silence. It was how Molly and I worked at her bakery. I tried not to think about how returning there would mean coming face-to-face with Steph again. She belonged in the London box, sealed shut while I was in Glendale. If only I never had to open it up.
After I had made the punch, I started to make two large bowls of salad using fresh produce from the Hall grounds. Most events at the Hall were catered, including the forthcoming wedding, Aunt Sally told me, but the garden party was all about mucking in so they could raise as much money as possible. And that was fine with me. The morning passed by in a blur.
New Beginnings At Glendale Hall Page 6