‘Sinking down whisky,’ she replied. ‘Don’t worry, we’ll keep an eye on him, and the cat too.’ She touched my arm. ‘Are you sure you’re okay? Can’t you rest now and finish it tomorrow?’
‘I’ll just get the sponge done and finish decorating it in the morning. I won’t be able to relax until that's done; it’s getting tight timewise. I’m fine, I promise.’ I forced a smile for her. I was exhausted but it was mostly emotional fatigue. Beth left us alone and we worked in silence, the rain easing as the evening drew on.
‘Do you want to talk about it?’ Brodie asked as I slid the new layer we had mixed together into the oven. Beth had brought in a large pizza for the two of us so we went over to the table and opened the box up. I supposed we could have gone to join the others while the cake was in the oven but I was scared to leave it alone and really didn’t want to have to make conversation with everyone, especially Greg, so I was relieved that Brodie hadn’t suggested it. We both put two slices on a plate and poured a glass of Coke out. I sank into the chair, grateful to finally sit down, the smell of the pizza mixed with cake making my stomach rumble loudly.
I took a bite of the cheesy pizza before answering him. ‘Honestly I don’t know what to say about anything right now. I like knowing what I’m doing. I’m not used to being so… uncertain. To have my life feeling so up in the air.’
‘You could look at it as an opportunity – a chance to take stock, to decide what you want, and change direction accordingly. I like the fact that life isn’t all mapped out exactly to plan, otherwise what’s the point in even living it?’
‘That all sounds good until everything starts going wrong and you kind of wish you knew that it would all be okay in the end.’ I sighed. ‘I’m sorry. I feel like I’m always dumping problems on you.’
‘I’m used to it,’ he teased. ‘Honestly, Emily, I’m here for you. You know that, don’t you?’
I met his gaze and nodded. I did. Which was strange, as we still didn’t know each other all that well but I knew I could trust him. With anything. Reaching across the table, I found myself touching his hand. Looking into his eye, I knew he felt the warmth that I did as our fingers touched. ‘Thank you,’ I told him, sincerely.
‘You’re welcome.’ He smiled and moved his hand away to reach for his drink but I didn’t miss the fact. I drew back from him, trying not to feel disappointed. ‘I suppose I should be heading back to the vicarage, I’ve been here much longer than I planned. Which I don’t mind at all,’ he added, quickly. ‘But there’s always a lot to do so…’
‘Sure, you should head back,’ I agreed. ‘Thank you so much for staying to help me.’
He stood up and held up a hand when he saw me start to get up as well. ‘Stay and finish your meal. You need the rest. I’ll see myself out. I hope the cake turns out well.’
‘See you at the wedding,’ I said, watching him go with a weird feeling in my chest. He gave me a cheerful wave as he left, as if he wasn’t bolting from me but I knew that he was. I shouldn’t have touched him like that. I groaned aloud into the now empty kitchen. I seemed to be getting everything wrong.
After I finished off the pizza, the cake was ready so I took it from the oven and moved it, and the finished layers, into the utility room for which Beth had given me a key. I locked the cake up safe and sound so no one could destroy it again and then I slipped out. I heard the others still in the living room but I was too tired to go in.
I went to my room and wasn’t surprised to find Greg already there, fast asleep on the bed. Relieved that there wouldn’t be any more arguments tonight, I put on pyjamas and climbed in beside him. My whole body ached with tiredness. What a day. Rolling over away from Greg, I curled up into a ball and closed my eyes, hoping things would be better tomorrow.
* * *
‘Emily?’
I woke up to Greg whispering my name. Opening my eyes, I saw him lying next to me, facing me in bed, sun streaming into the room behind him. ‘Hmmm?’ I replied, sleepily.
‘We need to talk. Please.’ He brushed back the hair that had fallen over my face. I nodded, trying to wake up when I saw how serious he looked. ‘I think I need help,’ he whispered. He put his hand over mine, which rested on the pillow.
‘Help?’ I was trying to catch up with him after my night of tossing and turning.
‘My drinking. I think I need help.’ He let out a small sob and instinctively, I pulled him into my arms.
‘What’s going on?’ I asked him as he cried, wide awake now.
‘It’s all got out of control. Not only did I end up cheating on you but…’ He sobbed again. ‘I’ve been suspended from work for two weeks for coming into work pissed. I don’t even remember how I got there.’
Oh, God. ‘Greg… how… why are you drinking so much?’
‘I just wanted to forget, I suppose.’ He lifted up so we were face-to-face. ‘There’s more.’
My heart sank. ‘What is it?’
‘I’m in a lot of debt. I borrowed, and I’m struggling to pay it all back. Drinking helps me, I don’t know, forget about it all. And I suppose after you left, I just couldn’t cope. I wanted to numb everything. And now I don’t think I can stop.’
‘Why are you in debt, though? Why did you have to borrow money?’ I was confused. It wasn’t like he’d been splashing out money lately. We hadn’t been on holiday for a year and hadn’t done anything major to the house. Neither of us earned a fortune, of course, but we’d never struggled before and he’d been working all those extra shifts too.
‘I’ve been gambling. I think I might be addicted,’ he burst out with a sob and buried his head back down onto my chest.
‘Shhh,’ I said, my heart dropping. I stroked his hair as he broke down completely. Suddenly, it all made sense. Why things had been so rubbish between us the past few months, the cheating, his working more and more shifts, and going out so much… And that text from Hazel. She had obviously known what had happened at work from Johnny. I wasn’t sure what I felt most in that moment. Disappointment. Anger. Pity. Fear. A tear rolled down my own cheek.
‘What are we going to do?’ he asked me when he’d managed to quieten his tears.
And I had no idea how to answer him.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Beth and Drew’s wedding dawned dry and sunny. I woke up early after another fitful night’s sleep and looked over at Greg who was thankfully still dreaming. He was shattered. As was I. We had spent the past day talking everything over, and it had been exhausting for us both.
Greg came clean about everything. He said he had always enjoyed a gamble and a drink but it had got completely out of control. He said he had felt hopeless about not being able to give me a family so he had gone to the casino one night with his workmates and he had become addicted to the thrill of it all, always thinking he could make back what he lost, and then of course never doing that. He had borrowed money to pay his debt to the casino from some loan shark who charged ridiculous interest, and was now struggling to pay him back. Drink had become his way to bury his head in the sand. And, naturally, that had led to even worse decisions like hooking up with Steph in the club, and turning up drunk to work.
In a weird way, Greg seemed better now he had told me everything, as if a weight had been lifted from his chest, and he seemed to think that together we could solve it all and get back to how things were before. I was less sure of that. Obviously, we needed to work out how we were going to sort out the debts he had got us in, and find him help for both his drinking and gambling problems, but that was easier said than done. I was even less eager to leave the comfort of Glendale Hall for London now but I couldn’t be like Greg and stick my head in the sand. We had to sort it all now before it got any worse. Once the wedding was over, I would have to leave with him.
Climbing quietly out of bed, I slipped out of our room, needing some time alone before the big day took over. Today wasn’t about our problems, I wanted it to be a happy day for my friends, and to be hon
est I needed a day of being normal and happy myself before real life took over again.
Walking downstairs, I went into the empty kitchen and made myself a cup of tea. Carrying the mug, I let myself out of the back door and stepped out into the garden. It was already warming up and the sun beat down on me from the cloudless blue sky. Aunt Sally had been right about Beth having weather luck today. It looked like it was going to be a beautiful summer’s day.
I went to one of the benches and sat down with my tea, looking out into the grounds that would soon be filled with well-wishers.
Sipping my tea, I thought over the past twenty-four hours. My head hurt with it all but at least I knew everything now. I touched my stomach. I hadn’t even thought about the baby since Greg’s confession. It felt like my happiness over being pregnant had been snatched away. Greg still saw it as our saving grace though. The thing that was going to pull us through it all. I didn’t know that I agreed with him about that, but he needed my help and I would give him that.
‘What are you doing up?’
I turned to see Aunt Sally coming out to join me. ‘It’s just so peaceful out here.’
‘Would you rather be alone?’
‘No. Sit down, please.’
Aunt Sally sat down and sipped her coffee. She smiled as she looked out at the grounds. ‘I’ve always loved this garden. I don’t think I could bear to ever leave it.’
‘Why are you thinking about leaving it?’
‘I suppose I’m feeling retirement calling me a little bit. It’s getting harder to do all the jobs in the house. Caroline has hired a girl from the village to do some cleaning and ironing twice a week but I feel like they need a more capable housekeeper. Not that she would ever say that though, bless her.’
‘They’d never let you leave. I’m sure of that.’
Aunt Sally smiled. ‘I’m just an employee at the end of the day. I’m not family.’ She touched my hand. ‘And how are you feeling about leaving Glendale again?’
I sighed as I swirled the tea around in my mug. ‘Like you, I’d happily stay here. It feels like we’re in a bubble up here, like you could shut yourself away from the world, and right now, I want to do that more than anything.’
‘Sadly, the real world will always find its way in. Even here. You’ve come to stay when things are the happiest they’ve been in a long time but not that long ago, things were tough here too. Beth was estranged from the family, and then old Mrs Williams passed away… plus Caroline and David’s marriage was on the rocks. It was a hard time but we all got through it. As will you.’
‘The problems with Greg… they’re worse than I thought,’ I admitted. ‘He’s in real trouble. When we go back to London, I need to help him sort everything out. If I can.’ I sighed. ‘I just don’t know if we have a future now.’
‘I’m sorry, Emily. But you need to think about you and this baby you’re carrying. You need to do what’s right for the two of you.’
I nodded. ‘I know. That doesn’t make it easy though, does it?’
Aunt Sally smiled. ‘No. No, it doesn’t. Are you going to talk to your parents?’
‘When I get back, I’ll go and see them, and tell them what’s going on. I really didn’t see any of this coming.’ I smiled wryly. There was so much I wanted to talk to them about, and I wasn’t sure quite where I would start. ‘I used to have everything all planned out, and now I have no idea what’s going to happen.’
‘Life happens when you’re busy making plans.’
‘You can say that again.’
The door behind us opened again and out came the bride-to-be, holding a mug of coffee in her hands. ‘Room for one more?’ she asked with a smile.
‘Of course,’ Aunt Sally replied as I waved her over.
She sat down opposite us. Like us, she was still in her pyjamas, her long, dark hair tied up in a ponytail. ‘I couldn’t sleep,’ Beth admitted. ‘I didn’t think I’d be nervous. After all, this day is something I’ve fantasied about since I was sixteen and met Drew, but I’m terrified.’
‘It’s only natural,’ Aunt Sally reassured her. ‘When I married Alec, I was actually sick with nerves and look how happy we were.’
‘God, I’d better not eat much then,’ Beth said with a laugh. ‘At least the Scottish weather is playing ball, huh?’
‘It’s going to be perfect,’ I told her. I didn’t feel envious any more. Beth and Drew were special people and they deserved a special day.
‘Are you really leaving us on Friday?’ Beth asked, grimacing.
‘I have to but I can’t thank you enough for having me here. I needed this trip more than I even knew.’
‘Well, you’re always welcome here, you know that. We’re all going to miss you. Especially someone whose name I won’t mention.’ The glint was back in Beth’s eyes.
I shook my head. ‘You’re shameless, Beth Williams.’
‘I won’t be a Williams for much longer,’ she replied, cheerfully.
‘You’ll still be shameless,’ I said.
‘Just promise me you won’t leave it so long next time. That you’ll be back soon?’ she said then, more seriously.
I thought of all that awaited me back in the city. I wasn’t sure when I would even be able to think of Glendale again but I nodded. ‘I promise,’ I said. I knew that I wanted to come back soon. Glendale was hard not to love, after all. I just hoped I would be able to keep my promise.
‘What are you all doing out here? We need to start getting ready!’ Caroline called, flinging open the back door. ‘The hairdresser will be here soon. You need a shower, Beth. Now!’
Beth shook her head. ‘I’m about to become a married woman but some things never change,’ she said under her breath to us. ‘Okay, Mum, I’m coming!’ she called back to her mother. ‘We’d better be having champagne soon,’ she added to us as she climbed off the bench. We both chuckled as we watched her go inside, and then there was no more time for peace, we had a wedding to get ready for.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
‘You look lovely.’
I stepped in front of the full-length mirror, Greg behind me doing up his tie. And I smiled. The dress Beth had found me was so pretty and I did feel good in it. I had had my hair curled so it fell gently over my shoulders, and my make-up had been done for me so my skin glowed. I had no sign of a bump yet but I did think I’d put on a couple of pounds, probably mostly due to Aunt Sally’s food. The tea dress skimmed my stomach perfectly though. I looked really well. I could get used to this pregnancy thing. I turned around and despite myself, I smiled. ‘And you look very handsome.’ I helped him straighten up his tie. I had always loved Greg in a suit. ‘We scrub up well.’
‘You’ll keep an eye on me today, won’t you?’ Greg asked me then, a little nervously. ‘Make sure I don’t drink?’
I nodded. ‘Of course. We will both stay away from drinks today. It’s going to be a lovely day. Try to relax if you can. Let’s enjoy ourselves, okay?’
He smiled a little. ‘Okay, babe.’ I wasn’t used to him being so agreeable but he was trying hard not to rock our delicate boat any further and I appreciated that.
‘Right, let’s go.’ We walked downstairs together where Greg gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. I watched as he went out into the garden. Guests were starting to arrive – a sea of suits and pretty summer dresses walking across the lawn towards the stream where the ceremony would take place. I turned into the living room where the wedding party was assembling for our walk down the aisle.
Stopping in the doorway, I broke into a smile. Beth stood in the centre of the room, the make-up artists finishing off her red lipstick. Her hair was up in an elegant chignon, and clipped to it was a lace veil. Her dress was stunning: a long, off-the-shoulder delicate lace white gown. Like the lemon bridesmaid’s dresses, it had a vintage feel to it, and she looked so beautiful in it. Izzy stood by her in her pretty dress, and Heather was in her long one, sitting on the sofa with a glass of champagne. ‘Beth, that dress i
s so gorgeous,’ I said, walking into the room.
Caroline was dabbing her eyes. ‘I thought she was going to wear some sort of black dress or a really short one or basically something weird,’ she said, between sobs.
Beth grinned. ‘I have no idea why.’ She winked at me. ‘So, I’ll do then?’
‘Mum, you’re like a princess!’ Izzy declared, answering for all of us.
Someone cleared their throat in the doorway. We turned to see Beth’s father, David, standing there in a grey suit as all the men in the wedding party were wearing, a lemon rose in his buttonhole. ‘Is it safe to come in?’ he asked. He went over and kissed his daughter. ‘I couldn’t be prouder,’ he told her. ‘You all look lovely too!’ His eyes fell on Caroline in her cream suit and he gave her a small smile. She didn’t quite return it but nodded at him, evidently trying to be on her best behaviour today. It must be so strange to be in the same room as someone you were married to for so long but were now estranged from.
‘Here we are!’ the florist swept in then with our bouquets. The bridesmaids’ bouquets were made up of lemon and white flowers with dark red roses, some of which had been grown in the grounds, and Beth’s was a more dramatic version with flowers trailing down the front of her dress. She took it from the florist with a big smile. She couldn’t stop smiling. It was so lovely to see.
‘Time to go I think,’ Beth said then. She looked at us. ‘Thank you for being part of our day. It means the world to us.’
‘Oh God,’ I said, reaching for one of the tissues on the coffee table.
‘Don’t ruin your make-up yet!’ the make-up artist cried out frantically, rushing over to me to check my eyeliner hadn’t run.
‘I’m sorry. No more speeches,’ Beth promised. ‘Let’s go.’
We left the Hall and started our procession down to the stream together. Glendale Hall watched us go, seemingly giving us its blessing as we left it, the sun high in the sky above. It felt really special to be in the place Beth had grown up in and loved so much for her wedding. It was the perfect choice of venue for her and Drew. Beth walked in front, her arm through her father's, followed by Caroline and Izzy holding hands, and then me and Heather walking side-by-side, smiling across at one another.
New Beginnings At Glendale Hall Page 14