‘Brodie…’
‘It’s okay,’ he said, stopping me with a smile.
‘Is it?’ I asked, raising an eyebrow.
‘It will be,’ he promised and then he turned and walked towards the Hall, disappearing out of view. I sighed heavily. It did feel like an ending somehow. One that I didn’t really want. But I knew this thing between us, whatever it had been, had to end.
‘Em! Get your butt in here, we are dancing!’ Beth yelled from the doorway. I shook off my melancholy. It was her wedding. It was a party and, let’s face it, it was likely going to be a while before I was in the mood to party again. I jumped up and followed her inside where the band where playing ABBA and everyone was on the dance floor. I joined Beth, Izzy and Heather. I glanced over at the bar where Greg was sullenly drinking a beer but I was determined to put that issue on hold until we were back in London. Tonight, I was going to have fun.
And I did.
We danced until after midnight when people started to drift home. Soon, the band had finished for the night and started to put everything away. The serving staff started to clear up as well. And then it was just our family party left in the marquee. Drew got everyone a glass of the family whisky, minus the kids of course, and me, and we sat in a circle together – Beth, Caroline, John, Aunt Sally, Rory, Heather, Heather’s father, David with Cathy, his new partner, and the kids. Greg was slumped in his chair asleep next to me, and I was steadfastly ignoring him.
‘I can’t believe I’m a married woman,’ Beth said, taking a sip of her drink. She had kicked off her shoes and her legs were draped over her husband’s lap.
‘Nor can I,’ her mother replied dryly. We all chuckled.
‘Speaking of married women…’ John said then, clearing his throat. He stood up and all eyes fell on him. ‘I am often accused of being a man of few words. But I have always found action to be stronger than words anyway.’ He pulled out a box from his pocket and turned to Caroline who let out a little gasp. ‘I’ve loved you for twenty years. Will you marry me?’
She jumped up out of her seat. ‘Of course I will,’ she said. He slipped the ring on her finger and she wrapped her arms around him for a tight hug.
‘Oh my God!’ Beth jumped up and joined in their hug. ‘This is just wonderful!’
I glanced at David but he smiled and nodded and squeezed Cathy’s hand. It was strange seeing an ex-husband look happy for his ex-wife like that, but I knew that he had found love with Cathy so must have been relieved that Caroline had done the same thing. It was lovely to see John and Caroline get their happy ever after finally.
‘Okay, I think we need another toast…’ Drew said when the excitement had died down. ‘Here’s to the future. May it be a happy and healthy one for all of us!’
‘To the future,’ we echoed.
I looked at Greg, and a shiver ran down my spine.
Part Two
Chapter Thirty-One
I expected London to greet me grey and drizzly to match my mood, but the sun was bright above us in a clear, blue sky when our taxi pulled up outside our house. The journey back down from Scotland had been long and tense. I was still upset that Greg had got so drunk at Beth and Drew’s wedding. He had spent the next day hideously hungover, sulking in the corner, as we had a big family breakfast and then waved Drew and Beth off on their honeymoon. We had left Glendale Hall first thing on Friday morning, and I felt like I had left half of my heart there.
‘Here you go,’ the driver said, lifting our bags out of the boot for us. Greg paid him and we watched him drive off, leaving us alone on our doorstep. I looked up at our house. It was still pretty and welcoming but it didn’t lift my spirits as it usually did. I was worried about what awaited me inside.
‘Right then.’ Greg picked up our bags and gave me a small smile. ‘We’re home.’
I followed him as he unlocked the door and let us in. The hall was cool and dark. Closing the door behind us, I led the way into the kitchen. ‘I need tea,’ I said. I noted that at least he hadn’t destroyed the house while I was gone. It looked fairly tidy and clean.
‘I’ll take these upstairs then.’ Greg headed up with our bags and I wondered if we were going to be this stilted with one another from now on. We didn’t feel like a couple, more like two new roommates. Popping the kettle on, I flung open the back door to let in some air. I stood there for a moment looking out at our small garden which burst with colour. It was a world away from Glendale Hall’s grounds but it was all mine. I gazed out at it, feeling sad. Was it still mine? I was scared to find out how deep Greg’s money troubles ran for fear that this would be taken away from me. I knew it was just a garden at the end of the day but I had spent many hours out there planting and making it look as good as such a small space could. With a heavy sigh, I turned away to make the tea, knowing that I needed to be logical for now, and not sentimental.
Greg came into the kitchen and sat down at the table as I carried over two mugs of tea. He scratched at the line of stubble on his chin. ‘Back to reality then,’ he said, trying to smile across at me.
‘Hmmm,’ I said, wrapping my hands around the mug. It had a big donut and ‘Donut Worry, Be Happy’ written on it. Greg had bought it for me from a shop in Brighton when we’d spent a weekend there. It had been my favourite mug to use since. Now it seemed to be mocking me. ‘I don’t even know where to start.’
‘I’m sorry about the wedding,’ Greg began, unable to meet my eyes. ‘I really messed up. I know that. I was so confident I could just stop. Because I want to, I really want to.’ He looked up tentatively then.
‘I don’t think you can do it on your own.’
‘I have you…’
‘I mean you need professional help. Don’t you?’
He looked down again. ‘Yeah, I suppose I do.’
‘Because it’s not just your drinking, is it? The gambling, the lies… I still can’t get my head around it all but it’s too big for us to handle on our own now. We need help.’ I took a breath. ‘How bad are our money problems? Give it to me straight. How much do you owe? In total?’
‘I haven’t worked it out…’
‘Let’s do it then.’ I pulled out my phone and opened up the notes. Greg reluctantly started to list his debts. There was the casino. The loan shark. Credit cards. He’d even borrowed a bit from a couple of his mates too.
‘And last month’s mortgage payment,’ Greg said, finally. ‘I didn’t pay it.’
My head snapped up. ‘What?’
‘I had to pay the guy the monthly instalment for the loan. Believe me, I can’t miss those.’
‘But the house, Greg!’
‘Hey, hang on, my money paid for this house after all…’ he started to say, on the defensive straight away.
‘You may have put down the deposit but we pay the mortgage equally. You should have told me!’ Greg’s grandmother had left him some money when she passed away, allowing us to buy the house. I couldn’t believe he had put it in such jeopardy like this.
‘I know. I know.’ His voice cracked. ‘They sent a letter before I came up to Scotland. I didn’t know what to do.’
I looked across at him and couldn’t believe that things had got so broken. ‘And you’ve told me everything now? This is all we owe?’ He nodded once. In silence, I added it all up. Then I did it again because I couldn’t quite believe it. I showed him the figure on the phone. ‘How are we even going to begin to pay this back?’ I wanted to be strong. I wanted to go into fight mode. To deal with it. But the weight of it all crashed over me in that moment.
Out of the corner of my eye, the £50,000 figure on my phone flashed at me like a neon beacon.
* * *
Even though I was home again, I was more lost than I had ever been in my life before.
I had to get out of the house and there was only one place that I could think of to go. I walked briskly, trying to enjoy the feel of the sun on my shoulders but they felt too heavy to be lifted by it. The streets wer
e as familiar to me as breathing but they also failed to comfort me. Soon Molly’s bakery drifted into view. I paused to look at it. It looked smaller, somehow.
Pushing on, I opened the door with a jangle of the bell. And then I froze.
I had forgotten. I don’t know how but I had.
Behind the counter were Molly… and Steph.
Molly looked up and beamed. I gave her a small wave and then I glanced at Steph. Her cheeks turned pink as she concentrated on packing up a bag of cakes, not making eye contact with me. Marching through to the back I did the same and didn’t look at her. She was nothing compared to the avalanche of issues that I now faced with Greg but she was still something as well.
‘Emily!’ Molly followed me into the office soon after and gave me a big hug.
‘Can we talk?’ I asked.
She frowned ‘Well, of course. Sit, sit!’ She sat down with me. ‘We missed you. How was Scotland?’
‘So much has happened since I left, I hardly know where to even begin…’ I admitted. I had slowly realised that keeping everything to myself hadn't done anything to change what was wrong. I had always tried to work things out on my own but I knew that there was no way I could this time. I needed people around me more than ever. ‘It’s all such a mess, Mol.’
‘What is? What’s wrong?’ She reached out and squeezed my hand.
‘Everything is falling apart. Greg and I… we’re in trouble. He’s been gambling and drinking. I don’t really know what to do.’
Molly sighed. ‘Oh, Em, that’s awful.’
‘He’s kept so much from me. We’re in a lot of debt. He even cheated on me. That’s why I left for Scotland early, actually. I should have told you but I don’t know, I was so shocked and ashamed too. Now, I just can’t believe what he’s done.’
‘My goodness. Now I wish I had poisoned that brownie he came in for while you were away.’ She gave me a small smile and I managed a weak one in return.
‘When he came in then,’ I began, hesitantly. ‘Did he speak to Steph at all?’ I remembered Greg promising that he hadn’t but now I wondered if I could trust anything he told me.
She thought for a moment. ‘Not that I recall. Why?’
‘She’s the one he cheated with.’
‘No!’ Molly cried. She shook her head. ‘Our Steph? How could she do that? Wait until I get my hands on her. But, more importantly, what can I do to help you, Emily?’
‘I just needed to talk to someone. There’s nothing you can do. I’m not even sure what to do next. I just wanted to see a friendly face I suppose.’ I hesitated. ‘There’s one more thing, actually.’
‘I’m scared to ask, what?’
‘I’m pregnant.’
Molly leaned over and pulled me into her arms. We sat like that for a moment, neither of us saying anything. I held on tightly to her. I had missed her. ‘Whatever happens, you're having a baby. Nothing else matters but you and this baby. You hear me?’ Molly said then, sternly, pulling back to look at me.
‘I’m scared, Molly.’
‘Well, of course you are. But you’re not alone even if you feel like you are right now. Okay? Now, I’m going to put the kettle on and get us a cake and then we’re going to sort everything out.’
‘Thanks, Molly. I knew I’d feel better being back here. Oh, didn’t you say you wanted to talk to me about something when I got back?’ I asked then, remembering the message she had sent me the other day.
‘Oh, that can wait. What are you going to do next then?’
‘I need to speak to my mum and dad. They are going to be so disappointed.’
‘In Greg. Not in you,’ she said, standing up. ‘You’ve done nothing wrong.’
‘I fell in love with him, Mol. How can I ever trust myself again, let alone him?’ I sighed. ‘I just hope we can sort this all out. What if we lose everything?’
‘Then you start again.’ She switched on the kettle. ‘You know what I’ve always said and I stand by it even in this situation.’
‘When life gives you lemons, then just make the best damn lemonade that you can,’ we said in unison. And despite it all, I chuckled right along with Molly.
It was a cliché but I knew in my heart it was true. I needed to dust off that lemonade recipe; and fast.
Chapter Thirty-Two
When I left Molly’s office full of tea and cake and sympathy, I stepped out into the empty bakery. Steph was wiping down the counter getting ready for closing time but she looked up when I came out. I started to head for the door but I knew that I had to say something. I had been so shocked and ashamed before I had gone to Scotland, I had given her a pass on the whole sleeping with my boyfriend thing but after accusing Greg of sticking his head in the sand, I couldn’t let myself do the exact same thing. I spun around to face her. ‘Why did you do it, Steph?’
She stood up straight, not trying to deny it. She immediately went on the defensive instead. ‘Hey, I’m not the one in a relationship—’
I held up a finger to silence her. ‘No, you’re not. Greg cheated on me. There’s no excusing that. I’m not blaming you more than him, far from it. But you know me. We work together. I thought we were even friends. It doesn't matter that you're single, you knew he wasn’t, and not only that but you know me. The person he was cheating on. How could you do that?’ I felt strangely calm. I actually wanted to know why she had done it. It was something I knew I could never do to someone. ‘You’re young, attractive, a lovely girl. You could have anyone. Why did it have to be him?’ I pressed on when it was clear she wasn’t going to answer me.
‘I was jealous,’ she admitted finally, slumping a little against the counter. ‘You had everything that I wanted – a lovely man, a lovely home. When I saw him in that club and he started flirting with me, I just wanted to know what it would feel like. Sure, men come on to me, they sleep with me, but they never love me, never want to be with me, to have a life with me.’
‘So you thought you’d try to steal mine instead?’ I didn’t get it. Even if she did feel envious about what I had – which was ironic, given what I had just found out – that didn’t give her the right to try to take it from me.
‘I am sorry,’ she said, quietly. ‘I felt so bad… afterwards. And he did too.’
I shook my head. ‘I was angry but now I just feel sorry for you. One day someone will do to you what you did to me and break your heart. You should treat others in life how you want to be treated, then maybe you’d get the love you seem to so desperately want.’ I suddenly felt tired. I turned and walked out of the shop before she could respond. I had no clue if my words would even have any impact on her but I felt better anyway for saying them. Women had enough to deal with in life without making it harder for one another. I hoped Steph might learn that one day and actually deserve the love she was searching for but that was up to her, and not me.
My phone started to ring in my bag so I pulled it out and nodded at the number on the screen. I had been expecting it after leaving a message on the way to Molly’s. ‘Hello?’
‘Emily, it’s Peter returning your call.’
‘Thanks, Peter. I was hoping I could set up a time to come to your office to talk about a few things,’ I said. Peter was a long-time family friend, and he was also an accountant. I needed some financial advice, and fast, so I had reached out to him. I changed direction. I didn’t want to go home yet and I had put off telling my parents what was going on in my life for too long. Peter readily agreed to meet me and found a slot the following day for me to come to his office, for which I was really grateful.
There was one more thing I wanted to arrange. I was doubtful Greg would do it for himself, despite him saying how much he needed help. I dialled another number and set off at a slow pace to my parents’ house before I let myself chicken out again. They lived only about a twenty-five-minute walk from my house. I think after such a big move in my teens, I hadn’t wanted to go far when Greg and I moved in together.
‘Emily, this is a nic
e surprise,’ he answered, cheerfully.
‘I am so sorry for calling you on your honeymoon,’ I said to Drew. ‘I just needed to ask you something really quickly.’
‘Of course, it’s no problem. We’re just on yet another long walk.’ I heard Beth say something, and he chuckled. ‘Yes, yes, I love walking. So, how can I help, Emily?’
‘It’s Greg. He needs some help and I’m not sure where’s best… who to go to, really,’ I said. I was unused to reaching out for help; that was true. I had always preferred to sort things out on my own but I knew that in this situation, I needed all the help I could get, and I trusted Drew. I told him briefly about Greg’s drinking and gambling problems. ‘It’s out of control,’ I admitted.
‘I’m so sorry, Emily. We’re here for anything you need, okay? The best thing to do is encourage him to make an appointment with his GP; they can point him to the best services in your area to help. Or even make the appointment yourself. It may not feel like it right now but that fact that he has admitted he has a problem and asked for help, is a great sign.’
‘I guess you’re right,’ I replied, feeling slightly more positive.
‘Let me know how it goes, okay?’
‘I will. And thank you. I’m so sorry for calling you.’
‘Do not apologise. You’ve done so much for us! You take care of yourself. And don’t forget to make an appointment for yourself too, Emily. You need to tell your GP that you’re pregnant, and get a scan booked.’
I paused for a moment. In all honesty, with everything going on with Greg, I hadn’t even thought about that. ‘You’re right. I will.’ Beth called out that she sent all her love, and we said goodbye. I felt so much better for having reached out to them. I then made another call to my doctor’s surgery, making two appointments.
And by the time I had done all of that, I was standing on the doorstep of my parents’ house. It was the home we’d moved to when we left Scotland. They still lived there, and the familiarity of it was a welcome sight with all the change that was going on. I remembered the shock of leaving Glendale for London. I had been young so I adapted quickly but the first night in this house, I had cried for Scotland and I sometimes wondered if I had actually ever really let it go.
New Beginnings At Glendale Hall Page 16