I took in a deep breath. ‘I am. I’ve still got to find staff though but Heather said she knows someone. And, of course, everything needs to be baked ready for the grand opening. God, that’s a scary thought.’
‘No, it’s an exciting one,’ Brodie corrected me.
‘That too,’ I said with a laugh. Who would have thought at the start of the summer that I would be not only opening up my own business but have a baby on the way too? I tried to hang on to my giddy, happy feeling, and not to think about the other things that had happened but it was hard not to with Greg miles away, not a part of such significant things in my life as I had always imagined he would be. The silver lining though, I knew, was the people around me.
My baby and I were so lucky to have them looking out for us.
Chapter Fifty-Five
The sky turned an ominous shade of grey as I was changing, and I frowned as I peered out of my bedroom window, sure that I could hear the faint rumble of thunder in the distance. With a sigh, I texted Beth and asked if we could move our dinner to the Hall. There wasn’t room in the cottage for everyone to eat; I’d hoped we could be in the garden but that was looking less and less likely. She texted back straight away to say that was fine so I fired off messages to the others to meet at the Hall instead.
Standing in front of my full-length mirror, I twirled a little. It wasn’t only my belly that was a lot bigger – my boobs were spilling out of my maxi dress a little bit now, and my cheeks were definitely fuller. My baby fluttered as I twirled, as if she was dancing along with me. I hadn’t had a reply from Greg to my letter, not that I had particularly expected it, but I hoped that it had given him a boost. I wanted our baby to know him, and time was ticking along, getting closer and closer to when she would arrive. I was still feeling a little bit overwhelmed about everything that had happened this summer, but I was now a lot less worried about the future. I wasn’t doing this alone as I had once believed, that was clear, and I was learning that reaching out for help could be a sign of strength, instead of weakness as I had always imagined.
‘Ready?’ I called out as I walked downstairs.
Aunt Sally appeared from the kitchen and smiled. ‘You look radiant, Emily,’ she said.
‘I’m feeling so much better, and some of my worries have gone after seeing the bakery finished today. I actually think we can pull this off,’ I said, opening the door and slipping outside. A cool breeze wrapped around me instantly, making me glad I had grabbed a cardigan at the last moment.
‘Of course we can,’ she agreed, closing the door behind us. We set off towards the house, the sky turning blacker above us. ‘The garden needs a good soaking. We’ve had such a dry summer,’ she commented.
‘As long as it waits until we get inside,’ I said, picking up our pace a little bit. ‘I know now why you’ve never wanted to leave here,’ I said then. Looking around the beautiful grounds, absorbing the peace, walking towards an evening with people who had treated me with so much kindness, I understood perhaps more than I ever had why Aunt Sally had remained here after my uncle’s death, even though my parents and I had moved down to London, and was still here now after she had retired from being the housekeeper at the Hall.
‘No place is perfect and there have been a lot of ups and downs here,’ she replied. ‘But the best times of my life have happened in Glendale. And now you’re here, it’s just the icing on the cake. I’ve always said that people make a home and the people here are some of the best I’ve ever known.’
I smiled. ‘Me too.’ I hooked my arm through hers and we walked in companionable silence the rest of the way, the cream stone house soon rising up in front of us. I felt a spot of rain on the top of my head as we reached the back door and I hurried inside, followed by Aunt Sally, before the heavens truly opened and rain danced down to the ground.
‘Just in time,’ Beth said from the kitchen table. Izzy, Drew, Caroline, Heather, Rory and Harry were all there waiting for us. John came in a moment later, leading Brodie inside. I couldn’t help being relieved that he was on his own, that Jen hadn’t come with him. ‘Right, I’ll sort out drinks.’
‘This is my dinner,’ I protested but she waved me away. With a sigh, I joined the table. I had ordered us all pizzas and cookies. When everyone had a drink in front of them, I stood up and cleared my throat. ‘So, as we’re all here, before the pizza arrives and all hell breaks loose – I know what we’re like about our food – I just wanted to say that I know I haven't been easy the past month or so.’ They all raised a smile at that. ‘I have overdone it but that’s only because I want this bakery to do well. I have dreamed about this for a long time. And that dream is only coming true because of you guys. So, thank you for all your help, and for putting up with me. I promise I will take it easier from now on.’ The doorbell rang. ‘Right, enough of me getting sentimental – the food is here!’ I went off to get it, glad I had arranged this. It was a good opportunity to gather everyone together before the opening to show how much I appreciated their help.
When I came back with the food, everyone tucked in eagerly. I was sure the fresh countryside air made you hungrier. The rain outside started to come down in thick, heavy sheets, rattling against the windows, making me shiver. ‘So, where’s Jen?’ I asked Brodie, finding myself seated next to him, eating a slice of the delicious pizza.
‘I actually have no idea,’ he admitted, glancing sideways at me. ‘I suppose she wanted more than I wanted to give so I haven’t seen her in a while. She’s still going to take over Sunday school but that’s it.’
‘Are you okay about that?’ I asked, wondering what had changed. They had looked pretty close at John and Caroline’s wedding.
‘It was the right thing,’ he said, not giving much away. Caroline asked him something then, catching his attention, and I chewed my pizza, a little frustrated. I was probably being nosy but I just felt like I needed to know what had happened between them.
‘I forgot to say,’ Heather said then from across the table, drawing my thoughts away from Brodie reluctantly. ‘The girl I told you about who comes to homework club at the library, and wants a weekend job, is going to come by the bakery to talk to you. I think she would be good.’
‘That’s great, thank you,’ I said, relieved that I might have found someone. I still needed someone full-time too, but had had a couple of applicants I was planning to interview. It would be tight money-wise but I hoped that with what Molly had given me and what I had left after Greg’s debts had been sorted from the house sale, I could manage it because I would need the help once the baby came.
‘I have officially handed in my notice at the library,’ Heather added, quietening everyone else with her words. ‘I am going to be a full-time farm girl,’ she said in mock horror.
‘And a designer,’ Rory added, smiling at her. The love on his face was clear to see.
‘The designs you did for the bakery are so lovely,’ I said.
‘I definitely want to do more of that, when I can. It will be a wrench leaving my books behind. Maybe one day you’ll take over there, Iz,’ she said with a laugh. Izzy was still a huge bookworm.
‘I want to be a writer, you know that,’ Izzy said. ‘I’ve written two books already.’
‘Well then, maybe you’ll be stocked in the library instead, one day,’ Heather replied with a smile.
After we had finished the pizza and cookies, the others went into the living room to watch a film but I couldn’t deny how tired I was, so said I’d head back to the cottage.
‘I’ll walk you,’ Brodie offered immediately. I would usually have protested, but I didn’t want to pass up the chance to speak to him alone.
‘Borrow these,’ Beth said, carrying two umbrellas from the utility room. ‘You’re going to need them.’ I tried not to notice the smile she gave me when I took one from her.
Opening the back door, I sighed. The rain was still going strong, the grass soggy already, the sky as dark as winter. ‘This is not going to be fun,
’ I said to Brodie. ‘Ready?’
He grimaced as he opened his umbrella but nodded. ‘Ready.’ We set off across the grass, walking slowly as it was hard to see and slippery to walk on. ‘You guys need to get golf buggies,’ Brodie said loudly, over the rain.
I laughed. ‘That would be useful actually.’ I slid a little, Brodie reaching out quickly to steady me. ‘Oops! It’s so hard to see.’
‘Here,’ he said, holding out his arm. I threaded mine through his and we walked closer together, slower, our bodies providing much needed warmth.
I shivered again but I was certain this time it wasn't because of the rain.
Chapter Fifty-Six
When we reached the cottage, we were both wet. The umbrellas hadn’t done much to hold back the slanting rain. The bottom of my dress was soggy and Brodie’s jeans were damp. I let him in, and we left the umbrellas propped up under the porch, and then took off our wet shoes. ‘Do you want something to change into? I’ll put the fire on,’ I said, hurrying through to the living room. I turned on the fire, the flames bursting into much-needed life.
‘I’ll be fine in a minute, I think,’ he said, going over to perch near the fire.
‘Back in a sec then.’ I hurried upstairs and pulled off my dress, putting on fleecy tracksuit bottoms and a hoodie, tying up my damp hair, and putting my cold feet into a pair of fluffy socks. Then I went into the kitchen and made us both a cup of tea. ‘I’m sorry you got so wet,’ I said, handing him one. ‘I really appreciate you walking me back through that. I hope Aunt Sally will just stay at the Hall if this rain keeps going.’
‘No problem. I’m warming up nicely already.’ He looked around. ‘It’s really cosy in here.’
I smiled, perching on the armchair opposite him. ‘It already feels like home,’ I said. ‘It might get too cosy once the baby comes though, so I won’t stay forever, Sally deserves some peace for her retirement but I’m glad I’m here for now.’
‘It’s a shame there are no flats above the High Street shops – although that would mean you would probably never leave the bakery.’
‘True, so it’s probably a good thing I can’t live there as well. I really did appreciate all your help getting it ready. I think sometimes I forget that I’m not superhuman, I just want to do everything myself. I’m learning though.’ I smile.
‘Good. I’m glad we could help. We all want to. With the baby too, when she comes.’
‘Really?’ I caught myself wondering just how much help he meant. I remembered telling Beth that I didn’t think it was likely that a man would want to help raise someone else’s baby but I knew that if such a man existed, it could well be Brodie.
‘Of course. It won’t be easy with the business and everything, but we will all pitch in. Do you think… will Greg be helping too?’
I took a sip of tea. ‘I don’t know. He’s still at the rehabilitation centre. He should be out soon though. I want him to be part of her life, if he’s in the right place for that. I think it’s a case of taking it as it comes. I wish things had turned out differently but as long as this baby is loved then I think that’s all that really matters.’
‘Definitely,’ he agreed with a nod. ‘I admire you. So much has happened but you seem to have taken it all in your stride.’
I raised an eyebrow. ‘I wouldn’t say that exactly, but I’m trying. For this little one.’ I rubbed my stomach. ‘And as you say, I’ve had so many people rallying around. And Molly helping me with the business… I couldn’t have opened the bakery without her. It’s amazing, isn’t it, how people you meet can shape your life so much.’
Brodie lifted his eyes to meet mine. ‘The mark that some people can make is something you can never really see coming.’
Another shiver ran down my spine. ‘Are you going to tell me what really happened with Jen?’ I said, finally asking the question I had been burning to ask him.
‘Honestly?’
I hesitated before nodding.
‘I started seeing Jen after you’d been down in London for a while. She is a lovely person, but I never felt that real… connection. And when you came back I couldn’t deny that to myself any more. Because I felt it again instantly. With you,’ Brodie said, quietly, steadily holding my gaze as he admitted how he felt.
My breath hitched in my throat. ‘I felt it too,’ I admitted. ‘Do you wish I hadn’t come back?’ I asked, my throat drying up a little.
He shook his head. ‘Of course not, but I do wish things were less complicated.’
‘Me too,’ I agreed. It was a relief that he hadn’t fallen for Jen but it was also painful because I really didn’t know where we went from here. I had wanted him to feel the same as me, and part of me was happy that he seemed to. I thought about how it seemed like everything was perfect apart from not being with him but I realised that there was no such thing as perfect. Life was hard and right now, it was especially hard. How could I add something else into the mix? I took a deep breath. ‘I wish we could be together,’ I said, and my heart ached to see his eyes light up. ‘But even if you would want to be with me too, I have been guilty in the past of putting myself, my life I suppose, second. And I can’t do that now. I need to make this business work. And not just for me. But for my baby too. I need to focus on that. And it sounds selfish, I know…’
‘No,’ Brodie interrupted. ‘It doesn’t sound selfish at all. That’s absolutely what you should do. Your priority is your baby and building the best life possible for the both of you, and that’s what it should be. I would never want you to not put that first.’
I nodded. ‘I know that. I was so in love with Greg I didn’t even see what was happening right under my nose – that the man I loved was broken. I know that you're nothing like Greg, but I’m still me. I think that I need to know that I can do this, that I can make this happen, by and for myself. Does that make sense?’
Brodie got up then and came over to my armchair, kneeling beside me on the floor. He reached out and brushed my fingertips with his. ‘I understand. Ever since I met you, I feel like my grey life has been brushed over with coloured paint. Like the lemon wall in your bakery.’ He smiled down at me. ‘I was content with my faith, with my work, but you’ve made me want more. I’m not going anywhere. Anything this special, anyone as special as you, is worth waiting for.’
Wow, this man really did have a way with words. I gave his warm hand a squeeze. ‘I’ve never met anyone like you. But I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to get hurt. I wish that things were different, I really do.’
‘I know,’ he said, gently. ‘You are the last person who would intentionally hurt anyone.’
‘Are you… are you saying that you’d wait for me?’ I asked him then, tentatively. I was torn between desperately wanting him to and thinking that it really wasn’t fair of me to ask that of him.
‘Are you saying that there’s a chance for us? One day?’ His eyes were alight, and it was proving very difficult not to lose myself in them.
‘What about the baby?’ I half-whispered. It was becoming harder to remember why I needed to be alone when he was sitting so close to me, and I hadn’t been held in so long. But my daughter needed me, and that was more important. She would always come first.
‘She’s part of you,’ he said, simply. He reached up and kissed me once softly on the lips before standing up. ‘I won’t mention it again. I understand, Emily. I understand how you feel. I just wanted to make sure you knew how I felt. It’s getting late – I’ll head back to the village, and I’ll see you soon.’
I started to get up but he held out a hand. ‘I’ll see myself out. Take care, okay? Of both of you,’ he said.
I watched him go, so stunned by our conversation that I didn’t have a chance to respond. I heard him leave and then I was alone – the only sound the crackling of the fire, and the rain falling outside.
Chapter Fifty-Seven
With the bakery opening just a week away, I met with Lucy, the girl from the library that Heat
her had recommended, and I was impressed with her politeness. She was keen to save up for a car so I felt confident that she would work hard, and hired her to work weekends at the bakery. I also interviewed the people who had applied for a full-time job, and I ended up taking on a mother of two called Jules who was looking for her first job now her kids were at school. I liked her warm attitude, knowing she’d get on well with customers. They were also both Glendale born and bred, which was always a bonus in making sure the community would be on our side.
I sent out invitations for the launch, and, with Izzy’s help, put leaflets through the doors of most of the village. Heather had got a reporter from the local newspaper coming along to do a story on the launch, and Beth had given me some bunting from the Hall to hang across the door, making sure it wasn’t me getting up the ladder to secure it.
And then the baking frenzy began. Aunt Sally helped me any spare minute she got, and Izzy was a God-send helping after school as much as she could. I ran through every recipe on the menu to make sure I had it as perfect as I could, forcing anyone I came across to try the products. I then spent all day in the bakery practising using the coffee machine, my two assistants joining me when they could to train themselves too, and made sure we could all work the till.
The days leading up to the launch were all busy although I tried to make sure I rested as much as I could, and ate and drank regularly. Drew kept a close eye on me, and everyone pitched in as much as I would allow. The only person I didn’t see as much during this time was Brodie. I don’t think we were exactly avoiding one another but it felt like it wouldn’t be the best idea to spend a lot of time together alone either. He came to the Hall one night for dinner when the whole group was there, and our eyes kept finding one another across the table, so much so that I thought the others would notice but they didn’t. I didn’t see him at all after that. I posted an invitation to the opening through his door though, hoping he would come.
New Beginnings At Glendale Hall Page 27