What would her father say when he opened the door and saw her standing there with the children? Would he have words of condemnation for her like when she’d left? As she now pondered his last words to her, she realized they’d been true. She hadn’t been as mature as she’d thought she was at the time. She’d thought she’d known better than her parents. How wrong she’d been! Here, she was struggling after only five years of marriage, when her folks had been happily married for over twenty-five years. Perhaps they were a little wiser than what she’d given them credit for.
She looked into her rearview mirror at the children sleeping contently in their safety seats. Young Matthew was the spitting image of his father, while Lizzy favored her. She and Richard had definitely been blessed with beautiful, healthy children. Should she awaken them?
“Hullo!” a muffled male voice called out.
Mattie hardly noticed the Amish buggy pulling up beside her. The bearded man waved and she quickly rolled down her window.
“Mattie Riehl, is that you?”
Her mouth hung open. “Uh, Minister Fisher…Uncle Jonathan?” She forced a smile at one of her father’s closest friends. “Yep, it’s me.”
He glanced to the back of the car. “Are them your kinner?”
“Yes.”
“Your folks will be pleased to see ‘em.” His broad smile caused lines to form around his large blue eyes. “Well, I was just heading up to your dat’s place.”
“Uh, Uncle Jonathan, will you please not say anything to my father? About me and the children, I mean.”
Jonathan chuckled. “Well, I reckon I’d better just turn around and go back home then. ‘Cause there ain’t no way I can keep Mattie Riehl’s return to Paradise a secret.”
“I don’t know how long I’m staying yet.”
“I see.” He rubbed his beard. “How about if I just come back and see your vatter tomorrow?”
Mattie nodded. “Thank you, Jonathan.”
“Be sure to stop by the house before you go back to the city. I’m certain sure your Aunt Susie will be wantin’ to see ya. There are many things to catch up on. Did ya hear yet that Johnny and Judah got themselves hitched?”
Mattie thought of her fellow childhood rebel rousers with fondness. Oh, the mischief they’d gotten into! “No, I hadn’t heard.”
“I’m sure they’ll be wantin’ to see ya too and introduce you to their fraas. Hey, I’ve got an idea. Why don’t we all get together for Christmas? That way, you’d be sure to see everybody.”
This was all so overwhelming. She was unsure whether she’d even be welcomed back into her parents’ home. How could she make plans for the next two weeks? “I don’t know. Like I said, I’m not sure how long we’ll stay.”
Her uncle’s countenance fell a bit, then he brightened suddenly. “You’ll still be here. I’ll pray for it. When will your husband be coming?”
A pang of regret shot through her heart. She hadn’t even informed Richard of her whereabouts, not that he would care. Mattie frowned. “He’s not.”
“I see.”
A deafening silence hung in the air for nearly a full minute, and Mattie knew she needed to move on before the tears began.
Finally, Jonathan smiled and tipped his hat. “Well, I reckon I’ll let you go see your folks now.”
As Mattie watched Jonathan’s buggy disappear down the road, she heard soft noises from the back seat. She turned to look at the children, who had apparently awoken during her interchange with her uncle.
“Are you ready to go meet your grandpa and grandma?” She pasted on the most encouraging smile she could muster, despite the tumultuous uprising in the core of her being.
“I wanna go home.” Mattie recognized the fear in her daughter’s expression. It mirrored her own.
“We’ll go home later. Don’t you wanna meet Mommy’s daddy and momma?” Mattie asked.
“Daddy?” Matthew perked up.
“You’ll see Daddy later. He’s still in the city.” Did her two-year-old even understand her words?
She moved the gear shift back into the Drive position and slowly crept down the familiar lane she’d traveled many times. “See the big white house? That’s where Mommy grew up.”
“Swing!” Lizzy hollered.
“Wing?” Matthew repeated.
“Yes.” Mattie smiled. “You may swing later. Right now, we’re going to say hello to your grandparents.”
Mattie quickly unfastened her seatbelt and climbed out of the driver’s seat. It felt so good to stretch after a long drive. She unfastened the Matthew and Lizzy’s child safety seats and allowed them to stretch as well before heading to the door.
As expected, four-year-old Lizzy bolted to the side yard and climbed up into the homemade wooden swing that hung from the largest Sycamore tree on the farm. It didn’t matter that she’d never been to the property or didn’t know the residents, all she knew was that she wanted to swing. Oh, to be young and carefree again, Mattie thought.
“Mommy and Matthew are going inside now. Do you want to stay out here by yourself, Lizzy?” Mattie’s no-nonsense words caused her daughter to run back to the safety of her mother’s side. “We can swing later,” she assured the children.
“I want Daddy,” Lizzy whined.
“Hush, now.” Mattie quickly knocked on the front door and waited in trepidation. The sooner she got this greeting over with, the better. Maybe she should just turn around and go back home.
The door swung open and Mattie stood frozen.
Chapter 3
Carson listened into his phone’s earpiece.
Richard’s voice sounded on the other end. “Carson, did Mattie say anything to Elisabeth? Did she tell her that she was leaving or anything?”
“No. That’s why Elisabeth wanted me to call you. She’s been trying to get a hold of Mattie.”
“Well, I’m at the house and Mattie’s not here. I’ve looked around. The house is completely silent.”
“Did she leave a note or anything?”
“Not that I can see. I checked the table, the fridge, the bedroom… I don’t know, Carson.”
Carson detected concern in Richard’s voice. “Where would she go?”
“I don’t know. I called my mom and sister, and neither of them have heard from her. Elisabeth is the only other person I can think of who would know where she is. I guess it’s possible that she’s headed your way.”
“Without calling? That’s not like her.” Carson sighed. He verbalized the thought that had been circling his mind. “Do you think she went back home?”
“You mean…to Paradise?”
“Yeah.”
“No way. Mattie wouldn’t go there. She said she’d never go back.”
“She could have changed her mind.”
“I don’t think so.” Richard was adamant.
“What are you going to do?”
Richard’s heavy sigh came through the phone. “I don’t know.”
Carson paused a moment, contemplating whether or not to prod further. “Richard, what’s going on with you and Mattie?”
“We’re just going through a rough patch is all.”
“A rough patch? Is that what you call it?” He didn’t appreciate Richard’s nonchalant assessment of the traumatic state of his marriage.
“What do you mean?”
“According to my wife, what you and Mattie are going through is more than just a rough patch. She told me that you and Mattie are considering divorce.”
“Divorce? Mattie said that?”
“What do you expect when you’re having an affair with another woman?”
“What the…? An affair? Is that what Mattie said?”
“She didn’t have to.”
“What do you mean?”
It was a good thing that they were just on the phone, because if Richard was standing before him in person, Carson was certain he’d have trouble controlling his fist. “You know what, this is really none of my business. But this affe
cts my wife too and I don’t appreciate it.”
“Carson, I’m sorry.”
“I’m not the one you should be apologizing to! Get your act together, Richard!” Carson couldn’t help slamming the phone down. Idiot! It was hard to believe this was the man that led him to Christ a few years back.
God, please don’t ever let me do anything like that to Elisabeth… And forgive me for my anger.
<><><>
Her father stood before her in silence until her eyes met his. “Matilda?”
Mattie sighed. I don’t know if I can do this.
She swallowed. “Hello, Dad.” She managed an awkward smile.
“Come in.” Mattie couldn’t decipher her father’s expression. Perhaps he was still in shock. After all, she’d had several hours to come to terms with the fact that she’d be seeing her father again. While her father, on the other hand, had been completely in the dark. She’d shown up on his doorstep unannounced, so he was entitled to some bewilderment.
She attempted to explain. “I was going to send a letter, but I didn’t know if I could wait that long for a response.”
Her father nodded and cleared his throat. “Maryanna,” he called.
Tears rushed to Mattie’s eyes as her mother walked into the room. Oh, how she’d missed her! Mattie immediately noticed more grey in her mother’s hair. It seemed she’d aged more than Mattie had expected. Had stress from her leaving been the cause?
“Mattie?” Her mother rushed over and engulfed her in an immediate hug. “Oh, Mattie! I can’t believe you’re here!”
“I am.” Mattie smiled. “And so are your grandchildren.” She placed a hand on each of the children’s heads, in turn. “This is Lizzy.”
Lizzy smiled shyly. “I’m four and I like to swing.”
Her mother chuckled.
Mattie continued, “And this…” – she looked up at her father and swallowed – “is Matthew.”
“He’s two,” Lizzy added.
Her mother beckoned her father near and knelt down next to the children. “It’s very nice to meet the two of you.”
Young Matthew walked to his grandfather and held his arms out to him. Her father joyfully scooped his namesake into his arms and the gesture lifted Mattie’s spirits. It seemed the children were making this transition a little easier for all of them, for which Mattie breathed a prayer of thanksgiving.
“Just two?” her father asked.
“Yes,” Mattie confirmed. She understood her father’s unspoken condemnation. Their Plain church didn’t believe in artificial birth control. Of course, Mattie didn’t either but she suspected her father thought she did. “For now.”
Her father nodded, seemingly pleased. “And your husband? Where is he?”
“Daddy’s still in the city,” Lizzy volunteered.
“Hush now, Lizzy,” Mattie reprimanded. “Richard’s…uh…working.”
“Daddy works a lot,” Lizzy said.
“Liz-zy.” Mattie warned.
“I see.” Was her father suspicious? “Will he be coming later?”
“No. He won’t be coming.”
Her mother and father shared a look, then her mother spoke up. “How long will you and the children stay?”
“I don’t know.”
“Do you think you’ll be here for Christmas?”
Mattie frowned. She and Richard hadn’t once spent a Christmas apart since they’d met. What would he think if she didn’t return home for the holidays? Would he even notice? “Maybe.”
She wasn’t sure if her father was pleased or disappointed. “And your husband approves of this?”
“Daddy don’t live with us no more–”
“Lizzy!” Mattie scolded.
Lizzy’s eyes welled up and she burst into tears. Mattie frowned and reached out to comfort her daughter, but Lizzy shunned her mother’s outstretched arms and clung to her grandmother instead.
Her father frowned. “Is that why you’re here?”
“Richard does still live with us. He’s just…” – she sighed – “…he’s not always home.” She eyed both of her parents. “I’d rather not discuss this in front of the children.”
She didn’t miss her father’s pointed gaze. “Does he know you’re here?”
“No,” she whispered.
“Maryanna, why don’t you take the children outside to play on the swing?” her father suggested.
“Swing!” Lizzy brightened again.
Her mother offered a sympathetic smile. Maryanna took young Matthew from her husband and led the children out the back door.
Her father turned back to her. “Matilda, if you expect to stay here, you need to be honest with your mother and me. What’s going on? Are you in trouble?”
Mattie’s hands became clammy. “No. I mean, yes, but I don’t know if it’s the kind you’re thinking.”
“Just speak to me straight, Matilda. Why aren’t you with your husband? Or why isn’t he here with you?”
Did they really need to discuss this now? Couldn’t it wait until tomorrow…or next week? “Richard’s seeing another woman.” Tears surfaced at her words. “I don’t think he cares that I’m not at home. If he’s even noticed yet. ”
“I see.” Her father remained silent for what seemed like a fortnight. “Then you may stay for as long as necessary.” He stood up, walked over to her, and offered an awkward hug. “I’m sorry, dochder.”
At his words, the floodgates opened and she was no longer able to contain her grief. She wept in her father’s arms for as long as she needed to. “I’m sorry too.”
After six long years of contention, she and her father were finally on the path to healing. And although the road was painful, it felt good.
Chapter 4
Carson sidled up to Elisabeth and playfully bumped her hip. “Finished with your Christmas shopping?”
She met his eyes with curiosity and grinned. “Yes. And you?”
“Yesterday.” Carson smiled. “That means you’re free this evening then?”
“What do you have in mind?”
His eyes sparkled. “A sleigh ride.”
“A sleigh ride? But the children already had their baths.”
“Which is perfect. Jacob and Rachel can put them to bed after supper.”
“Jacob and Rachel? You mean you want just us to go on a sleigh ride?”
“Why not? It’ll be fun with just the two of us.” He nuzzled her neck. “And romantic.”
“Romantic? What are you up to?”
“Me? I just want to spend an evening alone with my wife. This is completely innocent, I promise.”
“Mm hm. And where do you plan to get the sleigh?”
“We can borrow one from the Glicks, or the Fishers.”
“But you don’t know how to drive a sleigh.”
Carson frowned. “You don’t want to go, do you?”
“Of course, I do.”
“Good, because I thought you might want to stop by and see the Beilers’ new little one.”
“Oh, that’s right! Luke and Brianna just had their baby.” She smiled. What a blessing new life brought! “We’ve been so busy, I nearly forgot.”
“Now you can give them the blanket you’ve been crocheting,” he reminded.
She nodded. “I’m glad I finally finished it.” She’d always loved crocheting; it brought a deep sense of satisfaction each time a project was completed. Idle hands are the devils tools. How many times had she heard that saying repeated, while growing up in her Amish community? But she knew that hands need not be idle to do the devil’s bidding; for it could be accomplished just the same with busy hands, with feet running to mischief, and oftentimes with a loose tongue.
“Why don’t you get ready? They should be here any time.”
Elisabeth tiptoed and kissed his cheek. “Yes, my love.” She quickly disappeared into the bedroom to prepare for an evening with her thoughtful husband.
<><><>
“What are we doing at my folks�
� place?”
Carson reached over and squeezed Elisabeth’s hand. “You left your ice skates here the last time we visited, remember?”
“Ice skates? I thought we were going sledding.”
“We are. But don’t you want to get your ice skates, so you’ll have them when you need them?”
Elisabeth shrugged. “I guess.” Her eyes shot to the vehicle’s dash clock. “Do we have time right now?”
“Sure. We don’t have to stay long.”
“You know my parents. They’ll want us to stay and talk.”
“We can remind them that we’re on a date and that the children are at home with Jacob and Rachel.”
“Okay.”
Carson’s brow shot up. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you’re trying to avoid your parents.”
“Me? Of course, not. It’s just, you know how much I worry when we’re away from the kinner.”
“Kinner?” An amused expression briefly danced across his face.
“Children,” she corrected.
Carson chuckled. “Lincoln said something the other day with a Pennsylvania Dutch accent.”
“Ach, do you think he got it from me? I’d hoped I’d lost my accent.” She frowned.
“Why do you say that? It’s only natural to revert back to it now and again. I think it’s cute.”
“Cute?”
“And it’s part of your cultural heritage. You shouldn’t be ashamed to be yourself.” He reached for her hand. “I love you just the way you are – adorable accent and all.”
Elisabeth’s lip jutted out a bit. “I just thought that I’d lost it, that’s all.”
“I think your return to Amish Country and being away from the city has caused you to pick it up again. When we met, I didn’t even notice an accent. Or if I did, it was slight.” Carson glanced at Elisabeth and frowned. “You’re happy living near your parents’ place, aren’t you?”
“Of course. I love where we live. I wouldn’t want to live anywhere else. It’s perfect – just an hour away from my folks, yet close enough to the city so you can check with your clients once a week.”
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