“What is it?” Jenny questioned, her curiosity piqued.
“On the day of the accident, while we were up by the spring, Trevor asked me to marry him.”
Jenny’s blue eyes grew wide with incredulous disbelief. “What? He proposed?”
“We spent the day together and he proposed to me then,” Whitney told her. “That’s why we were late coming home that night. That’s why he got distracted on the journey down. That’s one of the reasons Kyle felt angry with me when I came back to camp. He thought Trevor’s proposal had meant nothing and that I’d treated it lightly, as inconsequential and insignificant, especially since I never contacted him after the accident.”
Jenny fell into an overwhelmed silence, watching Whitney with unabated surprise. “Wow,” she murmured in latent reaction. “Wow, wow, wow.”
“I felt safe and calm when Trevor and I were together and when we were spending time with his family,” Whitney continued, “but knowing Laura Benson is coming back to camp tomorrow, I feel unsettled all over again. I don’t know what to think. I don’t know how I should feel. I don’t know how I should behave or what I should say. Where do I go from here?”
Jenny remained quiet for several moments before she shook her blonde head in amazement. “There’s so much more going on below the surface than I realized.”
“My Dad got one thing right about my coming back to this place,” Whitney said glumly, knitting her fingers tightly together. “He claimed there would be heartache and pain to deal with. There is and has been—and there still may be more. Am I up for this?”
“I know this has been hard—extremely hard, and I don’t want to trivialize any of your experiences,” Jenny replied. “But think of it this way. How would you feel if you never came back? You would have gone through your whole life always wondering ‘what if.’ If you and Trevor don’t work out, at least you can rest assured that you’ve done all you can to try to resolve your past. You’d never be at peace with yourself otherwise. You’d always wonder.”
Whitney nodded soberly, thinking over her words. “You’re right. It’s just hard dealing with all the uncertainties.”
“I understand,” Jenny sympathized. “But remember, Trevor just spent a day with you and he had you spend time with his family. You should feel reassured about those two things.”
“I do,” Whitney replied. “I just hope it can last.”
Despite Whitney’s desire to know who Laura Benson was, she didn’t realize how strong her reaction to seeing Laura for the first time would be. She and Jenny were walking to one of their rotations with their new group the following morning when Jenny subtly nudged Whitney in the side. “Laura Benson is right over there,” Jenny told her, inclining her blonde head, “talking to Kyle Fisher by the stables.”
Whitney glanced Laura’s way and, after watching her for a few minutes, felt any earlier hope and confidence gradually dissipate. It wasn’t just solely that Laura Benson was beautiful, which she was. She had stylish dark brown hair and small, pretty features that were attractive and striking. Rather, it was that Laura seemed just like the kind of woman to capture Trevor’s interest. She seemed fun, friendly and outgoing, speaking to Kyle in playful tones and laughing spontaneously at what he had been saying. A smile seemed to be a permanent part of her features.
For a moment, Whitney’s heart felt pained at the sight. She had once been like Laura—fun, playful and carefree. But the gravity of past circumstances and the severity of her accident had changed all that. It had thrust upon her a seriousness and soberness she could never completely overcome, nor would she ever be able to completely overcome it. She could never go back to the innocent naïveté that had been hers before the accident. Laughter and unfailing optimism had constantly buoyed her and Whitney had felt that nothing could get in her way. Little had she known how quickly all that could change.
Laura Benson seemed to be a glaring, vivid reminder of what Whitney had once been—someone eager to enjoy life with no negative experiences to thwart her. Why would Trevor ever want Whitney over someone with whom he could have an unfettered relationship? Why would he choose Whitney and her baggage when here, before him, stood someone who didn’t come with as many complications? Even Kyle seemed completely comfortable talking to Laura. Not once had Whitney seen that relaxed look on Kyle’s features when he had been speaking to her. Whitney’s presence and background brought a level of gravity to everyone she interacted with.
Jenny seemed to sense Whitney’s abrupt change of mood as they continued walking together. Jenny leaned her head closer to hers. “Remember, don’t give up on Trevor yet.”
Whitney subtly frowned, not allowing herself a backwards glance. “Just watching Laura—she’s exactly how I used to be,” Whitney complained, feeling downhearted. “She’s happy, fun and carefree. I’m asking Trevor to give up laughter and enjoyment for a lifetime of burdens.”
“A lifetime of burdens?” Jenny echoed, her voice lightly reprimanding. “How could you say that? Trevor loved you. He asked you to marry him.”
“That was before the accident. He could easily walk away and have life be much easier and much less complicated. Why would he choose to be with me and risk living with those awful memories—and the displeasure of my father—when he could be free to spend time with someone who doesn’t bring as many problems to the table?”
“Trevor isn’t that shallow,” Jenny adamantly claimed, her tone firm. “He doesn’t expect life to be solely fun and games.”
“I know he doesn’t but why, when he could freely choose to live an unfettered life, would he want someone like me when he’ll have a lot of dark memories to face?”
“Because he loved you,” Jenny stated with conviction. “He was once committed to you—in every way.”
Whitney sighed tiredly. “Once, a long time ago, he was committed to me. But I don’t know if that will be enough to see us through anymore.”
“You can’t give up on Trevor now just because you’ve finally seen Laura Benson,” Jenny said, shaking her blonde head in disapproval.
“I don’t want to give up on him,” Whitney countered in discouragement. “You know I don’t. I just hope Trevor won’t decide to give up on me.”
Jenny twisted her lips in reluctant sympathy at the sadness in Whitney’s voice. Whitney hadn’t meant to sound as discouraged as she did but it hurt to know that even despite her best efforts, she could never return to the same person Trevor had fallen in love with before. Too much had happened since that time that would always be a part of her. Could Trevor love her for who she had become? Did he love her for who she now was or was he holding onto memories of who she’d been in the past? Would he want to trade it all for Laura Benson? Whitney couldn’t quite be sure and didn’t know how to talk herself into feeling better about it.
Whitney continued throughout the lengthy day with a heaviness of heart she couldn’t completely shake. It didn’t help that she did not see Trevor but she did see Laura Benson enter Trevor’s office twice, once in the mid-afternoon and a second time shortly after dinner. Even Jenny seemed subdued regarding the situation after she had witnessed Laura seek Trevor out a second time. “Laura Benson has been rather persistent today,” Jenny said with a touch of sharp resentment. “I’ve seen her interrupt Trevor twice with hardly a second thought.”
“She is persistent,” Whitney admitted in a sullen tone.
Jenny became almost disgruntled. “Either I didn’t notice how forward Laura was before today or she got word that you’re back and she’s doing her best to defend her territory.”
“I imagine it would be the latter,” Whitney said, trying to keep her spirits from sinking even deeper.
“I saw Laura Benson and Mindi involved in a rather deep personal discussion earlier in the conference room,” Jenny told her. “From the look on Laura’s face, I don’t think you could have summarized her as being ‘happy’ and ‘carefree’ at that moment. It appeared as if she might have had a few troubles come her
way. Mindi must have been telling Laura about you.”
“I would imagine that’s what happened,” Whitney responded. “If not, I’m sure word will get around somehow.”
“Have you seen Trevor at all today?”
“Not once,” Whitney said. “I have no idea how he’s handling all of this.”
“It’s a good thing our youth group is easy this go-round with no troublemaking twins we have to keep an eye on. I doubt you’d do too well handling a Brent or a Brad right now.”
“I wouldn’t do well at all,” Whitney agreed. “I have enough going on inside me to distract me as it is.”
Jenny looked at her friend with a tugging compassion, saying with her eyes and features what she couldn’t say in words. They turned and continued on in silence as they walked toward their cabin.
Whitney’s hopelessness regarding her personal circumstances only increased the following day. She had been on the lookout for Trevor and finally did see him but only as he stood talking to Laura Benson near the deserted, quiet pool. Whitney and Jenny had completed their last rotation and were walking toward the dining hall for dinner when they passed the two of them speaking together. Trevor didn’t see them as they passed. He stood leaning on the pool fence with his back against them while Laura stood by his side. Laura seemed oblivious to anything going on about them as she watched Trevor intently, her eyes glued on his face, her brows lifted in intense concentration as she listened to him speak.
Whitney and Jenny walked silently past, trying not to draw attention to themselves. As they went to join the crowd in the dining hall, Whitney could see Jenny carefully eyeing her, as if trying to gauge Whitney’s reaction to what they’d witnessed. Whitney tried to appear unmoved but her heart seemed to grow heavier and heavier with each passing moment. The hope that Trevor would remain interested in her slowly kept ebbing away, leaving a gloomy sadness in her heart she couldn’t even attempt to hide from Jenny’s discerning eyes.
“I’m sorry,” Jenny whispered after they’d dished up their food and sat down. “This hasn’t been a very enjoyable couple of days for you.”
“I’ll be okay,” Whitney replied, although she knew she didn’t sound convincing. She could only pick with disinterest at the colorful contents strewn about her plate.
The dinner hour trudged slowly on with Whitney ineffectively trying to recover her spirits, especially when Trevor never came inside to eat with them as he had been doing. Whitney finally leaned her head closer toward Jenny’s. “I’m going to excuse myself and take off,” Whitney told her. “I’m going down to the lake to be alone. If I happen to be gone past curfew, will you promise me you won’t call anyone to come out looking for me?”
“I promise,” Jenny reassured her, “now that I know where you’ll be. If I get worried, I might come looking for you myself.”
“You don’t need to worry about me,” Whitney reassured her. “I’ll be okay. I’ll try not to stay out as late as I did last time. I just need some time to regroup.”
“I understand,” Jenny replied. “I’ll plan on waiting up for you.”
“Thanks,” Whitney replied. She got up from her place, emptied her plate and then exited the dining hall a different way than the way she had come in, not wanting to run into Trevor and Laura. Instead of taking the well-worn trail down to the lake, Whitney took a roundabout way where no one would see her.
The stillness and quietness of the calm summer evening worked some of its soothing magic into Whitney’s sore heart as she made her way down the trail. Although she still felt dejected and somewhat downcast, she began to feel much more at ease with her circumstances as she traversed the rocky incline. Jenny had been right. It hadn’t been easy returning and facing the emotions she’d faced in coming back to this place, but if she had never returned, she would have gone throughout her whole life second-guessing her choices and functioning under a deep, heartfelt regret about that period of her life. Now she knew she’d done all she could to move on and move forward, which she would eventually do after trudging through the new emotions that had a stranglehold on her heavy heart.
It felt almost bittersweet to realize that she had been loved once, deeply and profoundly. Although circumstances had intervened to stop her and Trevor from ultimately being together, at least she could always hold onto that aspect of the past as a treasured memory. Whitney found a level of comfort in that.
Whitney went to her favorite spot on the worn, sun-stained dock and sat down, letting the beauty of the rugged surroundings seep into her soul. Despite not regretting that she had come to this place, Whitney still knew she needed to leave camp as soon as possible to find somewhere else to work. She could not long withstand seeing Laura and Trevor together and watching their relationship grow without it affecting her even more than it already did. She’d experienced enough raw emotion to know she wouldn’t do well handling more.
It was almost growing dark, with a few scattered stars dotting the horizon, when Whitney could hear the sound of footsteps approaching her from the trail. Jenny must have come looking for her, Whitney quickly surmised. When she turned her head around to check, she stiffened dramatically. Trevor had been walking toward her, his dark eyes centered on her surprised features. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere,” he greeted her calmly, coming beside her and settling his tall form on the dock by her side. “I finally stopped by your cabin and Jenny told me where I could find you.”
Unease had settled stiffly inside her but Whitney masked it as best she could. “I wanted to get out for awhile,” she explained, her voice subdued.
“It’s a perfect night for it,” Trevor remarked as he glanced around the landscape about them.
“Yes,” Whitney concurred.
For a moment they sat quietly together, not saying a word. The gentle, warm breeze lightly brushed Whitney’s features as she kept her gaze forward, her eyes focused on the endless ripples in the water before them. Trevor finally broke the silence that had stretched between them. “I wanted to share some news with you.”
Whitney turned toward him, furrowing her brows slightly as she subtly gazed at his contemplative features. “What news is that?”
“There are going to be some changes in my life,” Trevor explained. “I’m going to be accepting a new job offer.”
Whitney heard the words with a sinking, unreal sensation. Trevor was accepting a new job offer? That told her everything she needed to know, everything she had been wondering about. He was effectively putting a stop to a renewal of their relationship by leaving camp. Trevor had found a convenient way of discontinuing their association and he was taking it. No wonder he and Laura had been heavily involved in conversation earlier. They had been talking about the changes that lay before them and making plans for their future together.
Despite her whirring emotions, Whitney summoned enough dignity to lift her chin and glance at Trevor directly, keeping her shoulders rigid. “Where will you be going?”
“To a small town in the southern part of the state,” Trevor told her. “There’s a troubled boy’s home located there. I don’t know if you were aware that they visited the camp earlier this summer.”
“I had heard about their visit,” Whitney admitted. “I heard that it went well.”
“It did. It went very well,” Trevor said. “The manager recently called and said they’re looking for a new live-in recreation director. It’s a salaried position and pays roughly what I’m making here but it comes complete with a small resident home and great benefits. Doing something like this has been a dream of mine—to change lives for the better. It’s an amazing opportunity for me.”
“You’re ready to leave this place?” Whitney asked, trying to make her voice sound as unemotional as possible. “You’ve always loved it here.”
Trevor glanced around him, taking in the rugged beauty. “I do love this place. I’ve always loved it. But there are some memories I carry that are still hard for me. I want to get away from them and get a fres
h, clean start somewhere else.”
Whitney dropped her eyes, feeling further discomfort after his words. “I don’t blame you for wanting to get away. It’s probably what you’ve needed for a long time. When did you find out about your new job offer?”
“Two days ago,” Trevor said. “It’s been weighing heavily on my mind. It’s a big decision with a lot of implications. Perhaps you’ve noticed I’ve been a bit distracted.”
Whitney had observed his distraction but had attributed it to nothing other than Laura Benson’s return. “I had noticed,” she admitted. “At least I noticed that I hadn’t seen you around as much. I figured you were busy.”
“I’ve been talking to Kyle a great deal, bouncing ideas off him and hearing his input about my plans for the future,” Trevor explained. “He’s always been a good sounding board in my life and he’s helped guide me in this decision.”
Which would mean, once again, that Kyle would have tried to talk Trevor into getting back with Laura, Whitney decided. She could hear the relief and determination in Trevor’s voice. She’d never seen him so at ease with himself since she’d come back. He must have finally found his path and he seemed secure and confident about taking it.
“Kyle will be sorry to see you leave,” Whitney observed. “You two have been good friends for years.”
“Kyle will be sorry to have me go but taking over at the camp is a huge opportunity for him,” Trevor said. “I know he hoped to do it one day. He was being primed for it. He just didn’t realize it would happen this soon. Neither did I.”
Whitney inwardly sighed, pulling her knees up against her as she wrapped her arms protectively about her legs. She wanted to prepare herself to hear Trevor’s forthcoming explanation—the reasons why they needed to separate and discontinue their association. She wanted to brace herself for the news as much as possible without letting him see how deeply it would affect her.
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