“Me, too.” She leaned forward to kiss his cheek. “I’m glad you’re my friend.”
“Rebecca,” he began, but he didn’t know what he intended to say. He noted that sadness settled in her warm brown eyes.
“Say goodbye, Isaac.” She touched his hand. “I’ll see you Sunday.”
“Yes, Sunday.”
But she wouldn’t be at the ranch, sharing coffee with him in the mornings or taking sunset rides to the pond. He hadn’t expected to miss her, not the way he already did.
Chapter Sixteen
“Mom, have you already bought my Christmas presents?” Allie asked as they drove to church on Sunday. “Because we don’t really have our own tree this year, so I don’t know where you’re going to put them.”
Rebecca gave her daughter a sideways look. “Of course you have gifts. I haven’t wrapped them yet. Remember, you did give me a list.”
“Yeah, I know.”
This conversation had nothing to do with gifts. She could tell by the look on Allie’s face.
“Do you think Isaac will be at the Christmas program?” Allie asked as they parked.
“Of course he will.”
“Good. I miss him. And Jack. I really liked living on the ranch. Not that I don’t like living at Carson and Kylie’s. They’ve all been really nice, taking us in. Like we’re homeless.”
Oh, my. “Yes, they’ve been wonderful. You know we’re not really homeless.”
“We don’t have a home. Isn’t that being homeless?”
“True, but I’m going to rent us a home. Jack was kind enough to give us an apartment at the ranch, but now it’s time for us to get our own place.”
“In Hope?”
“I don’t know.”
“But I like living here. I like the people and my school.”
“I know and I’m praying about it. I want to be sure we’re doing the right thing.”
“Well, I think the right thing is to go back to the ranch.”
“What is right isn’t always what we want, or even what we like.”
“That’s messed up,” Allie grumbled. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. And you don’t have to worry, you have Christmas gifts. They’ll be under the tree on Christmas Day.” She just didn’t know what tree or where that tree would be located.
“Do you know what I’d like for Christmas?” Allie continued. “Not this Christmas, but maybe someday? I’d like a family. Like Carson, Kylie and their kids. A whole family. With a mom and a dad.”
Rebecca squeezed her eyes closed and prayed for patience, for wisdom and that her heart wouldn’t break. “Oh, Allie.”
“I said the wrong thing,” Allie moped.
“No, you didn’t. You said a perfectly normal thing. I’m just so sorry that I haven’t given you a family.”
“It felt like a family when we lived at the ranch. Isaac was there. And Eve, Jack, Joe and Sierra. Not just Isaac. It’s just, he’s a lot like Carson. He might not be a dad, but he acts like one.”
Her daughter was chatty this morning. And each word hit a target, namely, Rebecca’s heart.
“I know you miss them.” That was why they had to move. They had to find their own place before Allie got too attached to Isaac and the ranch.
“It’s okay. Someday we’ll have a family. You’ll fall in love and get married, Mom. Just make sure he’s nice. Like Isaac.”
Rebecca nearly groaned. “Okay, time to go inside now.”
They crossed the parking lot, and as they neared the church, she saw her parents waiting on the sidewalk. Allie let out a squeal and took off, Jersey running alongside her. Rebecca almost told her to slow down. But what fun would childhood be if a parent was constantly telling a child to slow down?
Rebecca’s mom caught Allie in her arms and held her for a precious moment. Next it was Don Barnes’s turn. He touched the back of her head, then hugged her, their first real connection. Rebecca approached, more cautious than her daughter.
“You came,” she said.
“We wouldn’t have missed this for anything.” Her father held a hand out to her, but then changed his mind. He hugged her instead. “You’ve done a good job with this little girl.”
“Thank you.” She smiled down at Allie. “She’s an angel. In the program, that is. In real life she’s an amazing nine-year-old who has a lot of opinions.”
“In other words, she’s a lot like her mother?” Rebecca’s father teased. He smiled, and she smiled back.
“Exactly like her mother. We should go inside. Allie has to get ready for her big performance.”
“Before we go in...” Alice Barnes paused and looked at her husband. “We would like for the two of you to spend Christmas with us.”
Allie began to hop up and down. “Can we? Mom, can we? And then we could have our gifts under their tree. And we could have Christmas dinner at their house.” Allie looked at her grandmother. “Do you bake pies?”
Alice nodded. “I do bake pies.”
Rebecca met her father’s eyes and nodded in turn. “We’d love to.”
It was still winter, but for Rebecca it was a new season. A season of acceptance and forgiveness. She walked through the doors of the church with her parents. Allie immediately took off, waving goodbye as she headed down the hall.
“Does she need our help?” Rebecca’s mother asked.
“No, they have plenty of help. They asked that the parents find seats so that they don’t have too many people backstage. It’s very crowded.”
“I see.” She looked around the sanctuary. “Where do we sit?”
Suddenly Isaac appeared at Rebecca’s side. “With us, if you’d like.”
Before she could answer, her father accepted for them. Isaac’s hand went to the small of her back and he guided her down the aisle to the pew where Jack and Carson were sitting.
Squeezed in with both families, Rebecca tried to relax, but she kept thinking of Allie. When her daughter looked for her she would see her sitting with Isaac. Her overactive nine-year-old imagination would start to believe this was her Christmas gift. Or an answer to prayer.
“Uncomfortable?” Isaac asked.
“No, just... Allie.”
“Small person, miniature of you.”
“Yes, that one.” She shook her head. The lights in the church dimmed, although sunshine filtered through the stained glass windows.
The story started with Mary and Joseph reading a decree that said they had to go to Bethlehem. Mary was obviously with child, although her pillow kept trying to fall and Joseph kept pushing it up. She smacked at his hand and gave him an angry look. The donkey, a boy in a costume, got tired of waiting and curled up on his side, kicking at them when they told him to get up.
Finally, the young couple headed off to Bethlehem, where the innkeeper told them he had no rooms so they were out of luck and could sleep with the sheep. Poor Mary began to cry and her pillow started to fall again.
The audience laughed, but did so quietly. After all, Mary and Joseph were young and didn’t realize that their pillow baby amused all the adults who were watching the program.
“There’s our angel,” Isaac murmured. Mary and Joseph were silent and their side of the stage was dark. Shepherds and sheep were suddenly illuminated and angels appeared from the heavenly realm to tell them of the good tidings that would be for all people: “Today, a Savior who is Christ the Lord is born in Bethlehem.”
Allie stepped forward and began to sing, “Glory to God in the highest and on Earth, peace and goodwill to men.”
“Perfect.” Alice spoke softly, clasping her hands together. “I’m so glad we were able to be here today.”
The shepherds heeded the advice of the angel. They rounded up their very stubborn sheep and headed off to Bethlehem.
The play lasted
only another five minutes, and as Mary remembered what was told to her and pondered it all in her heart, the shepherds and angels began to sing “Away in a Manger.”
The play ended. The audience clapped and the children bowed.
“There are sandwiches and desserts in the fellowship hall.” Isaac stood, and when her father spoke, he had to turn his head. “I’m sorry, deaf in that ear.”
Don Barnes apologized. “This is a good little church. I’m glad my daughter found you all.”
Isaac winked at Rebecca. “So are we.”
She needed a moment to herself. Her heart was breaking and the sound of it cracking had to be loud enough for everyone to hear.
But instead of escaping, she got tangled up in the crowd that included her parents, Isaac, Jack and several others from the ranch. Her father moved along next to Jack, the two talking as if they were old friends. Rebecca’s mother stayed close to her side, with a hand on her back. Protective.
Where had she been when Rebecca’s father put her on that bus to Arizona? Rebecca took a deep breath, releasing her anger. Someday soon they would sit down and have that conversation. Today was for Allie.
It wasn’t about Isaac. It wasn’t about the past. It was about Allie, the Christmas program and knowing that there was grace and mercy in the world today because of a baby born thousands of years ago.
She could show her father mercy. Even if it hadn’t been shown to her.
* * *
Isaac spotted Rebecca in the kitchen. She was filling glasses with ice and pouring drinks. He’d already talked to Allie. She was sitting with her grandparents. She’d talked about the program and how the sheep were smelly because they were mostly little boys. And poor Mary and her pillow. He’d let her talk, and then he’d gone to find her mother.
Rebecca looked up when he approached. He took the pitcher of tea from her hand. “You’re pouring it on the counter.”
She looked down and gasped. He handed her a towel and she wiped up the mess. “That was clearly your fault, for startling me.”
“I’m startling?”
“Yes, and not in a good way,” she teased. “So why are you here, startling me?”
“I wanted to make sure you have somewhere to spend Christmas.”
“We’re going to my parents’. I think we’ll stay with them for a while. Allie is off from school for Christmas so we have a couple of weeks to make a permanent plan.”
“The shop?”
“I’m going to keep it open. After all you did to help get it put back together, I can’t abandon it. I don’t think I’m supposed to quit. Not yet. For now this seems to be the season to repair my relationship with my parents. So we’re going to stay there in Grove and I’ll drive back and forth to Hope. And Allie is going to stay in the Hope elementary school for the rest of the year.”
“I’m glad to hear that.” He filled a few more glasses with ice and she poured tea. “Dad has gifts for the two of you. So do I. If you get a chance to come over to the ranch before Christmas, we’d like that.”
She shook her head and didn’t look him in the eye. “I can’t. We can’t. Isaac, she asked me to get her a family for Christmas. She wants a dad. And you’re the dad she wants. I don’t want to give her the wrong idea, and us joining you all at the ranch for Christmas would.”
“I’m sorry.” He was more sorry than he could say. For a lot of reasons.
“It’s not your fault. I mean, it is. You’re a man any little girl would want for a father. But I have to protect her.”
“I know you do. I understand. Jack will, too.” He filled a few more glasses. “This is goodbye, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, it is. Not really goodbye, because we’ll see each other around town. I just can’t be at the ranch.”
“I get that.” He finished and put the ice container back in the freezer. “I’ll let Jack know.”
“Isaac, we’re going to miss you all. And the ranch,” she told him. “He’s meant so much to us. And so have you. I don’t know what we would have done without you all.”
“I’m glad we were here for you. Being dizzy that day had its upside.”
“Yeah, it did.”
He bent down and kissed her cheek. “I have to go find Jack and make sure he doesn’t get in trouble with Maria. I think he might be courting her. Finally.”
“Finally,” Rebecca echoed.
He didn’t go find Jack. Instead he wandered outside to get some fresh air. He was sitting on a picnic table watching the lake when someone sat down next to him. Carson.
“What?”
“Pathetic.”
Isaac started to get off the table. Carson reached for his arm, preventing his escape.
“Say what it is you have to say,” Isaac told his brother. “And then I’m going fishing. I haven’t been in weeks.”
“I’d go with you if you’d invite me.”
“I want to go alone.”
“Okay, then here it is. You’re making a mistake letting that woman go. You’ve been happier since she showed up. It’s like Rebecca and Allie complete you. Maybe you complete them. If you let them go, you’re losing out.”
“Thanks. I’ll remember you told me that, since I’m too stupid to figure it out on my own.”
“If you know, then why in the world are you telling her goodbye?”
“Because she deserves better. She’s had a pretty rotten life for the past ten years, and every man that came along let her down. She is worth more than that. And Allie deserves better, too.”
“You’re planning on letting her down?”
“No, not planning on it. I know it’ll happen. I know myself. I know my health issues. I know my nightmares. I know that I nearly broke Joe’s jaw a couple of weeks ago. So Rebecca came along a month ago and shook things up for me. And maybe she thinks she feels something for me, but a month of knowing me isn’t long enough.”
Isaac was afraid to admit the truth. One month of knowing her wasn’t nearly long enough for him. But that’s all he would get with her. And it had been the best month of his life.
“When was the last time you had a nightmare?” Carson asked. He held out a hand, after gesturing for one of the toothpicks Isaac kept in his pocket. Isaac took out two and handed one to his brother.
The toothpicks were the crutch of a man who’d once found himself on the verge of addiction. Better a cinnamon toothpick than a narcotic that would destroy his life.
“I don’t know. I guess a week or so.”
He knew exactly. When Allie was in the hospital. He couldn’t attribute the lack of nightmares ever since to the conversation with Rebecca, but he had to admit he’d been thinking about what she’d said. When the little girl crossed his mind, he pictured her alive. Happy. Thriving.
“How frequent are the headaches, and the dizzy spells?”
Big brothers who were doctors could be a real pain. Isaac jumped off the picnic table. “Not as often as they were a year ago. A lot less than two years ago.”
“Would you say you’re improving? I mean, have you ever woken up and thought your family was the enemy and chased them into the woods in the middle of the night?” Carson’s voice lost its teasing tone as he got sucked back into his own past with Jack.
They stood there looking at one another, the secrets of the past between them. Isaac grabbed his brother in a fierce man-hug and then let him go just as quickly.
“I’m improving,” he admitted.
“Give it some thought. You’re awfully good at giving advice. You’re happy telling people to pray and trust God. Funny how we can all give advice about, but when it comes to our own lives, we hold on a little longer.”
Yeah, funny how that was. And yet he didn’t feel like laughing. At that moment he heard a child’s laugh carrying across the lawn. He turned to watch as Rebecca and Allie left the chu
rch with her parents. They stopped to talk and then they got in their cars and left.
He ignored Carson’s knowing look and headed for the back door of the church. The last thing he wanted was for his older brother to say he’d told him so.
Isaac knew what he had to do. But could he actually do it?
Chapter Seventeen
Christmas morning, Rebecca woke up in the home she grew up in, in the room that had been hers throughout her childhood. She managed to get up without waking Allie and tiptoed down the hall to find her mom placing gifts under the tree. Alice handed her a bag.
“Fill the stockings, please,” she said. “And then you can help me make breakfast.”
“Breakfast casserole and cinnamon rolls?” Rebecca asked.
“Of course. The cinnamon rolls are already on the counter. I just have to ice them.” She stood back from the tree and smiled. “I’m so glad to have you home. I’m so glad to know my granddaughter. This is the greatest gift, this love, and having you back in our lives.”
Rebecca hugged her mother. They were in the kitchen when they heard a joyful shout from the living room. Mother and daughter gave each other knowing smiles before heading there. Allie was sitting under the tree, Jersey licking her face. The sight gave Rebecca a start, but she realized Allie was just playing with her dog.
“What in the world is under our tree, Alice?” Don Barnes asked as he entered the living room. “It’s a child.”
“The best gift of all,” Alice told him. She went to his side and hugged him tightly. “The very best gift.”
The doorbell rang. Rebecca’s mother glanced at the clock and sighed. “It’s only eight in the morning. Were you expecting someone?”
Rebecca’s father shook his head. “Nope.”
The doorbell rang again. With a sigh of her own Rebecca headed that way. She pulled it open and stared at the man standing outside. There were flurries falling and he was dressed in a canvas coat and carrying a big box of gifts. His grin was a little on the cheesy side, but his silver-gray eyes made up for it.
The Rancher's Christmas Match Page 17