“Would you rather I was?”
My gaze up shot up to his. He was staring at my mouth like it was a meal. He was nothing if not brutally straightforward. He’d made sure to let me know he wanted me the moment he met me, and he was doing the same right now. He was telling me loud and clear that he still wanted me.
I shouldn’t go with him.
“Maybe this is a bad idea. Maybe. I shouldn’t go with you.” I swallowed hard.
“Maybe, you’re right,” he whispered, his fingers stroking my cheek and hooking a strand of my short hair behind my ear. It stubbornly slipped right out. He watched it in awe. “But believe me, I don’t want to upset you. The last thing I want is to wreak havoc in your life again. It’s also the truth that your life’s in danger, and so is Zoe’s. You know I never wanted you to get hurt, right?”
It returned to me… the horrible moment I’d heard gunfire in the warehouse. The moment I saw my sweet, handsome, kind Calum punching an armed man, and spinning around to kick another.
That’s when another man had emerged, pulling out a concealed gun from a holster at his waist. The loud deafening gunshot that followed.
My ears had been ringing when Calum pulled me up to stand and screamed at me. “Go! Go! Run! Get out of here and don’t look back.”
He’d shielded me with his body until I’d scrambled to my feet and bolted. This man hadn’t wanted me to get hurt. I’d always felt safe with him. That was just part of his allure. From the moment he’d entered my life when I was just twenty years old, he’d soothed my anxieties and quietened all the fears in my head. He’d helped me come up with a game plan for my life, and he’d shown me wonder in bed.
And then I’d lost him.
Only to learns that what I knew about him was a web of lies.
“What if you’re lying to me again”?
He looked away guiltily. “If I promised I’d never keep any truth from you ever again, would you believe me?”
I shook my head No. and he nodded.
“I understand.” He said with a sad smile. “I deserve that. Can you at least give me a chance to redeem myself? For Zoe? She deserves to know her father, you know?”
That hurt. That hit me right in the burning vulnerable spot in my core. That’s why I was so upset. I felt helpless. Like I had no choice. I had lost control of my life decisions.
I owed Zoe a chance to know her father. She deserved that much. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself I called Myles and revealed that Calum was here. Have Calum taken away in the handcuffs he deserved, without Zoe ever getting to know her dad.
Zoe would never forgive me. I would new forgive myself. And Calum… I couldn’t afford to care about him. That was simply forbidden. Even if his touch sent shivers of delight down my spine. Even though his smirk of a smile made my heart flutter. Even though the sight of chiseled lips and broad chest made me want to throw all caution to the wind and taste his lips one last time.
I turned away from Calum and stuffed a pair of my jeans into my suitcase.
I simply need closure. By going with Calum, I’ll get Zoe to spend time with her father and then I’ll be able to report back to Myles. Till then, I needed to play it cool.
I couldn’t use anger as body armor to keep my hands off him. His sardonic smile and laughter shattered all of that within moments. I was helpless when he smiled at me.
I picked up my phone as Calum placed the suitcases next to the front door. He spun around.
“Who’re you calling?” There was a bite in his voice.
“I’m calling my father. Can you please just shushhh. I don’t want to him to ask questions.”
My heart was thudding, and my eyes followed Calum as he shifted the suitcases. His gaze was suspicious and cautious.
My dad picked up, totally clueless of the catastrophic development in my life. It was just as well that Jimar was away. He couldn’t tell that anything was wrong, even though I could’ve sworn my voice was shaking. “Have fun there. We miss you.” I said into the phone and hung up.
“So, are you ready?” Calum glanced out the window. “It’s going to be light soon. We need to leave now.”
The sky was lighting up with a shade of dark blue, the perfect time for fugitives to switch locations. I felt sick to my stomach. Calum picked up my car keys and I gathered a sleeping Zoe in my arms.
Calum tensed up visibly as he saw Zoe asleep in my arms. “Can I carry her?”
My hand arms instinctively tightened around Zoe. “Uhh.”
He noticed my hesitation. “Okay.”
Even though he smiled, I could tell it was forced. He didn’t like that I was scared of him. But what choice did I have? I couldn’t just hand my precious cargo to someone who I’d believed was dead for three years. Someone who had terrifying secrets, someone who taken the decision to make a pitstop to that dreaded warehouse three years ago, who had almost gotten me killed on our way to dinner, along with my unborn child.
Minutes later, I was in the basement parking. I shifted Zoe into the car seat carefully and buckled her up.
“She’s fast asleep.”
“Yeah, she isn’t a light sleeper. She sleeps like the dead.”
He laughed shortly. “Doesn’t take after her mother, I see.”
I heard him loud and clear. I’d always known Zoe took after her father when it came to her sleep. She slept like dead-like Calum.
I preferred not to answer. I wasn’t quite sure how I felt about him at the moment. All I knew the was that I wanted answers. And despite not wanting to hand off Zoe to him, I knew I could trust him to keep us safe. If there was another person on this planet who could potentially care about Zoe as much as I did, it would be Calum. And I knew how protective he was of me. Zoe was his own flesh and blood.
I slid into the passenger seat and ogled Calum’s profile. His fingers strong on the steering wheel of my car. He put the car in gear and made his way out of the basement parking. The sky was still dark when he sped away from my home, to wherever it was that Calum wanted to take us.
Biting my lip, I lay my head against the head rest. “I’m sorry for not letting you hold Zoe. I know you won’t hurt her.”
The imperceptible tightening of his jaw told me it had been hurtful. “Thank you,” he said simply.
I remembered this Calum perfectly. So kind. Always understanding. Rarely losing his temper at me. Others who knew, secretly called him an intimidating hurricane. But to me, he was always kind and understanding and gentle. He’d never lost his temper at me. He always gave me a free pass no matter what I did or said.
I rested my forehead on the cool car window and forced myself to look at the road. I couldn’t keep reliving the wondrous, perfect, albeit brief relationship I’d had with him three years ago. I couldn’t afford it. At the end of the week, I was turning him in. There was no room for a criminal in my life. Even if he was Zoe’s dad.
Even if I might still be madly in love with him.
Chapter 5
Calum
I glanced over at Nina. She was fast asleep, her neck tilted sideways, her forehead resting against the cool glass of the window. I could tell she was uncomfortable, but I didn’t want to wake her.
I didn’t want to stop driving either.
I’d expected Zoe to wake up at some point during the journey. But since we’d left before dawn, Zoe was still fast asleep. I glanced at the dash clock on Nina’s Honda SUV. I’d been driving for three hours straight. The last thing I wanted was to be pulled over, so I’d tried my best to stay well within the speed limit.
“How long was I asleep?”
I jerked my gaze toward Nina, and glanced at Zoe in the rearview mirror. “Over an hour.”
“Are we there yet?””
“Another half hour and we should be there.”
She cleared her throat and straightened. It was surreal.
I’d left Newport with no fear. All I had to worry about was my mother.
And I was returning to Newport with two more p
eople I couldn’t bear to see getting hurt.
I’d found Nina, after years of believing she was dead. I’d spent years miserable over my own hand in her death. How her life would’ve been so full if she hadn’t met me, how her life wouldn’t have come to an abrupt end.
But here she was, living with my child all this time. Shouldering all the responsibilities, a setting up a business. I admired her tenacity.
Three years ago, she was just a twenty-year-old student living with her aunt in Canada while she went to school. And now, she was this sensible, responsible adult who owned a business of her own, had a great place to live in the upper west side, and a nice car.
In stark contrast, I was living with my mother in a seaside cabin, hiding from enemies I’d made in during my foray into a life of crime. I was thirty-four years old, and I was destined for life as a fugitive. Nina was sensible all right. What kind of life could I offer her anyway? And her child?
I had nothing to offer her. Zoe, Nina, and I were a family. But despite the niggling hope that had flared in my chest, I knew perfectly well that Nina was a smart girl who would leave as soon as the week was over.
I wouldn’t blame her.
“I can’t believe I’m doing this.”
“What?” I asked confused.
She lifted her hands in the air and spun them around. “Here with you, going God knows where. I was supposed to take time off work to relax, unwind. Stay stress free. And here I am. Compounding it.”
I chuckled.
“Stop laughing at me, I’m actually upset.”
“I know. And you should be. Back from the dead. Both of us.”
“You know,” she mused, staring out the window. “Three weeks after you died, I discovered I was pregnant.”
My jaw clenched, I could not begin to imagine the uncertainty she would’ve experienced. Doing it all on her own, as a student!
“I’m sorry, Nina.”
She shook her head slowly. “We used protection. There’s no way you could’ve known I was pregnant. “
“I’m sorry you had to do it alone.”
I sensed the heat of her gaze on my face as I drive. “I’m so sorry for so many things, Nina.” I sighed dejectedly. “But I find it hard to be sorry that you fell pregnant.”
“Why’s that?”
I glanced at the rearview mirror. “Can you imagine living this moment without that gorgeous thing in the car seat?”
Nina chuckled, and abruptly stopped. Almost as if she had decided wholeheartedly to be absolutely miserable the whole time she was with me, and the laugh broke the rules. Her stubbornness made me smile.
“We’re almost there.”
“Good.” Nina shifted in her seat. “Because my back’s killing me, and I think I kinked my neck.”
For the rest of the ride, Nina remained silent and stared ahead.
I could tell she was overwhelmed by the reality of what was going on, and exhausted being in that seat for so long.
I turned off the road and headed down the private path that led to the cottage. She leaned forward in her seat. I drove until I reached a bend, and the open ocean stared back at us.
“Woah!” the hush of awe escaped her lips. “You’re just pissing me off now. “This is some way to… fugitive… you know. Are you kidding me? You’re been on a three-year vacation?”
I laughed it off, not wanting to get into the reality of the bleak dreary existence I’d lived here without her. The three-bedroom cottage was concealed from neighboring homes by dense trees. My mother as usual, sat on the deck wearing one of her large-brimmed hats.
“There is it.” I parked beside the house. Just as I was about to get out, her small hand grabbed my forearm.
“Is that your mother on the deck?”
“Mhmm.”
She grimaced. “You’re hiding with your mom. Why?”
My jaw clenched. “Because of me, the lives of all the people I love are in danger.”
Her eyes widened at the gravity of my admission. My insinuation that I loved her wasn’t lost on her either. I walked around the hood of the car and opened the door for Nina. She walked wooden and confused. At least she now knew I wasn’t kidding about wanting to keep her safe.
Zoe was shifting restlessly in the car seat.
“Zoe’s awake.”
Chapter 6
Nina
This couldn’t possibly be real life.
Less than two days ago, I’d been dropping off my dad at the airport. I was excited to spend some quality time with my daughter. I had the whole two weeks planned out perfectly. I’d stay home from work, take it easy, and focus on what was important: Zoe.
I was all she had.
Apparently not anymore.
Zoe was squealing on the little swing, Calum laughing as he teased her, pushing her forward and nipping her ear every time she swung back down. She was having the time of her life.
Yesterday, Calum had gone out and somehow hunted down a basket swing for Zoe. I had never in a million years expected him to be so… interested. In my defense, I had thought he was dead. I was still having trouble believing that this wonderful moment was real.
Calum had always been fun to be around, and spontaneous and funny. Around Zoe, he was always beaming.
So was Zoe’s grandmother… even though Isabel had received a hell of a shock when Calum returned home with not just me, but also his child. Calum hadn’t called ahead to inform her. The tears had spilled down Isabel’s face when she spotted Zoe.
I’d made a terrible, horrible mistake in coming here.
What had I done?
How was I ever going to snatch this loving family away from Zoe?
The only reason I’d come here was to get my answers from Calum, seize my closure, and let the FBI have him.
But now, I was in a dark abyss of confusion.
This wasn’t just my ex-lying-boyfriend, the was my daughter’s father. And he was there, being a father unlike I’d ever imagined him to be.
From the moment I’d arrived in Rhode island, it was like Christmas.
Grandma was always cooking for Zoe. Calum was fussing over her and taking her on piggyback rides. I found myself icing little cupcakes and decorating cookies with Zoe. It was the mummy-daughter time I’d wanted. Except, it was much better and nicer than I’d expected.
Isabel came out of the house, holding a tray of thick steaming chocolate chip cookies. Fresh out of the oven.
“Try one.”
“I’m so stuffed. Really. I’ll gain ten pounds by the time I leave.”
A dark shadow crossed her eyes. “Leave for where?”
“Back for home.” I replied slowly, confused by her reaction. “I’m only here for five more days.”
Isabel glanced at Calum and Zoe. “Oh,” she said and smiled an over-bright smile. “That’s nice. I wish I could go back home.” She added with a sheepish scoff.
“Why can’t you? Isn’t this home?”
“No, honey. The is a very picturesque hideout. But it’s also a prison. Calum and I aren’t safe out there and neither are you and—”
She stopped midsentence, her eyes wide. She blushed before turning away, just to offer me the cookies again.
I felt like I needed to take a cookie now. Isabel’s disturbing words resounded in my mind. I stared at the cookie for long seconds, then at Calum.
Something wasn’t right. Calum had darker secrets than I thought. And not ones that had their roots in the past. I was beginning to get the feeling that Calum had a new batch of secrets. That sent a chill down my spine.
The last time I was caught in the crossfire, I’d barely escaped with my life. Back then, I had no responsibilities. All I had to worry about was me. Now, things weren’t quite the same. I had Zoe to protect. I had to be wary, of Calum and Isabel.
At that very moment, Calum lifted Zoe out of the swing in an exaggerated flourish and held her high up over his head. Zoe’s laughter rang out. A smile curved my lips. The sound of m
y child giggling in absolute glee calmed my soul. Her joy was contagious.
Effortlessly, Calum lifted Zoe onto one shoulder. Holding her stomach with one strong hand, he made his way toward the cottage.
I lived the moment in slow motion. The handsome, kind man I’d made a child with. He’d fallen so madly in love with Zoe. And as a dad, carrying his child who looked so like him—he was the most irresistible man on the planet. Longing stirred in me again. This time, I didn’t stifle it. For the last two days, I’d fought these tingles in my thighs. I couldn’t stifle that blazing need for him anymore. I would convince myself I could, but then Calum walked into the room and I was back at square one. No amount of convincing could work when his nearness turned me into a ball of arousal.
As Calum reached the deck, his eyes settled on my mouth and not my eyes.
Here we go. How am I ever expected to get over him when he so blatantly shows me he wants me with madness?
Isabel reached for Zoe. “Who wants to have a tea party with Grandma?”
Zoe settled in the deck chair as Isabel laid out her little tea set. I’d brought some toys from home, and the tea set had been the biggest hit out here in Newport.
I stole a peek at Calum. He looked somber, his hands buried into his pants pockets. It seemed as if he was contemplating battle strategy. He didn’t look happy. The sudden shifts in his mood gave me a whiplash, but I was drawn to him like a moth to flame.
He turned his head and caught me staring at him. I swiftly looked away.
“Do you want to go for a walk?”
My brows lifted, and my guilty stare met his. “You and me?”
He shrugged, a soft smile playing at his lips. “Of course. It’s beautiful out and the sun will set soon.”
I looked at the window, and then back at Calum.
God, he’s hot.
I could have cried.
As he led me down the steps, his hand brushed against the small of my back. I bit my lip and fought the heat coursing through my veins.
Calum is not the man you think he is. He still has a lot of explaining to do.
Irish Billionaire's Lost Daughter Page 3