by Danica Flynn
“Yeah, but it doesn’t mean that I have to get married. You think Fi could handle it? Do you wonder if maybe that’s why she thinks this is a bad idea?”
I shrugged. She didn’t seem like the type of woman that would be bothered by it. Fi was more the woman that actually liked to be left alone most of the time.
“No. Fi has been there since before I made it in the league. She knows how important hockey is to me, how important my career is.”
Benny clapped me on the shoulder. “Maybe you should talk to her before we leave for the road,” he suggested.
I sighed. “Yeah, maybe you’re right. Anyway, how are things with Stephanie?”
He gave me an annoyed look, and I held my hands up in surrender. He’d talk about it when he wanted, which was definitely not right now.
I couldn’t badger him anyway because we had arrived at the practice rink, and it was time to get to business. I pushed all thoughts of my wife out of my head as we got down to practice, team meetings, and reviewing game tape. I had to be ready to defend Metz in this upcoming stretch on the road.
I had to be better. I just had to.
Chapter Nine
FIONA
I hadn’t lied to Riley when I said that Katie was going to pick me up from the airport, but she was doing it because her brother still wasn’t out of my apartment yet. I was planning on crashing on Katie’s couch in the meantime because I was pretty sure my husband would not be happy if he found out I was staying in my one-bedroom apartment with my ex. I was kind of miffed about it, but I also hadn’t given Eric a lot of time to get out. I knew I shouldn’t let him walk all over me, especially considering that the apartment was in my name. At the same time, I knew trying to find an apartment in a couple days in this city was hard. So maybe I wasn’t exactly being fair.
I dropped down into the passenger seat of Katie’s car, and she drove off to her place in Mt. Airy. It was technically still Philly, but outside enough that only suburbanites lived there to say that they still lived in Philly. Her place was small, but the rent was cheap. Once we got to her apartment, I dumped my bags on her floor and sunk into her couch.
She sat on the loveseat next to me. “I tried to get my brother to come here while he looked for a new place, but no go,” she explained with a sad smile. “I’m sorry. I always knew my brother was an asshole, but I never knew how much.”
I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. It was all tangled from having slept with it a little damp last night. But also probably from the way Riley had manhandled me while we fucked last night. Not that I was complaining about that; Riley and I seemed to be on the same level when it came to that. I pulled my hair on top of my head and found a hair tie in my bag to secure it in a messy bun.
“Thanks for trying,” I told her, and honestly, I was thankful that she was trying. Katie was a good friend.
She eyed my left hand, where I still wore the plain silver wedding band. “So, what’s going on?” she asked.
“I don’t even know. I asked him for a divorce.”
She looked surprised at that. “Really? Why?”
I gave her a dirty look. “Why? We got married on a whim after your brother, who I dated for five years, left me at the altar!”
“You know I don’t approve of what he did. He told me you talked, and I think maybe it was better you didn’t end up together. He never was supportive of your work, and that always pissed me off.”
I nodded and was reminded again of how in two days, my new husband was already more supportive of my writing than my ex of half a decade had been. Was that because Riley and I had been friends since before we could talk? We knew a lot about each other, so maybe that was why he was so supportive. I mean, I had a freaking Google alert set for him. I wanted him to succeed. He worked so hard to be good at hockey, and I always kept tabs on him. I think my heart had soared with pride when he signed his big contract with the Bulldogs.
“So, are you gonna get divorced?” she asked with a cock of her eyebrow. “I would think no since you’re still wearing that ring. By the way, sorry I got you the plainest thing ever.”
I shook my head. “This is fine; you really helped us out. It was a little impulsive, though. I still can’t believe we got married. But he wants to give it a shot.”
She glared at me. “Then what the fuck are you doing here complaining to me about it? I don’t understand why you’re not with him now.”
I sighed again. “I don’t know if this was a good idea. Maybe we should get a clean divorce and go back to being friends.”
“Okay, but you’re still wearing your ring, so I feel like a part of you wants it to be a good idea,” she argued. “You, um…spent your wedding night tonight, right?” She waggled her eyebrows at me.
I put my hands over my face. “Um…yeah, you could say that,” I said between my fingers.
She barked out a laugh. “Oh my God, how many times?”
I squinted at her. “Like the night of our wedding? Or since we’ve been married?”
Her eyes were wide. “Oh my God, are you admitting that Aaron Riley has enough stamina to go more than once in a night? Okay, girl, I need details.”
I laughed at her. “Um…yeah, we had sex like three times on our wedding night. And twice yesterday.”
She howled with laughter. “Get it, girl! Damn, does he have any single teammates? I could use a man who can go all night. So...I’m guessing it was good, huh?”
“Really good,” I admitted.
She laughed again. “Feel free to not answer this, but what’s a big guy like him like between the sheets?”
I glared at her but surprised both of us when I answered, “Gentle at times and really attentive, but also like a total aggressive alpha-male. Which I’m totally into. I mean, shit girl, he knows where the clit is and how to pay attention to it.”
Her eyebrows quirked up, and she nudged my shoulder. “Seriously, why are you still here? What are you so afraid of? This guy comes in, saves your wedding day, knows how to fuck you, and seems to want to honestly try to have a marriage with you. Why not give it a shot?”
“I’m afraid it was all a whim, and he’ll get bored of me. He’s been living the single life for a long time, and I don’t think he’s a one-woman guy. Riley has been the king of hookups for a long time; why would he want to be married to me? Also...I don’t love him. I don’t want him to be in a loveless marriage with me and be trapped.”
She eyed me again and crossed her arms over her chest. “You know lots of people get married and don’t love each other, but love finds a way. Also, I totally call bullshit because your face lights up when you talk about him.”
I gave her the finger. She was definitely wrong about that.
“Fi, I know you don’t want to hear it, but you two looked happy together in Vegas.”
I groaned, digging the heel of my hand into my cheek. “Maybe it was because it was Vegas. And we drank a lot of whiskey, that does it to us Irish people.”
She threw up her hands in defeat. “Okay, fine, you can stay here as long as you like, but my couch is not very comfortable.”
“It’s fine,” I tried to convince both of us.
She crossed her arms and stared me down. “Would it be so bad to really try it with this guy? It might be unorthodox, but maybe you can find happiness together.”
“Ugh fine! He’s about to leave for a couple days for some road games anyway,” I gave in and pulled out my phone.
She gave me a dirty look. “Then go be with your husband before he heads out! Oh my God, girl, I love you, but you don’t make smart decisions.”
I gave her the finger again while I put the phone to my ear and dialed Riley’s number. He answered on the second ring. “Hey, so listen,” I started without even saying hello.
“I’m pissed you didn’t come home with me. Damnit, Fiona, I want this marriage to work, but it can’t work if we’re not living together.”
I was taken aback by the venom in his voice. “
I didn’t know it bothered you so much,” I snapped back.
“Of course it fucking bothers me,” he huffed out. “I want this marriage to work, Fi. I want us to work.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Fuck, I’m sorry too. I didn’t mean to yell at you.”
His voice was soft like he really was sorry, and I felt bad that I pushed him to yell. I also knew Riley, and I had a feeling his anger wasn’t about me not coming to live with him.
“I have a problem,” I admitted. “Eric’s not moved out yet.”
“Come home with me.”
“That’s why I’m calling!”
“Oh,” he said in a quiet voice.
“I’ve got to go pick up some of my things.”
“I’ve got to run into a team meeting, so you can take your time,” he said. “I’ll come get you.”
I closed my eyes and cringed. I had completely forgotten that he had to rush to practice this morning. No wonder he was in such a shit mood. The Bulldogs season was tanking, and I didn’t think they were making it to the playoffs.
“Shit, I’m sorry, I forgot you had practice. Forget it; I can stay at Katie’s in the meantime.”
“Fi, it’s fine. I’ll come get you when I’m done, okay?”
“Okay,” I said in a small voice. His tone was so irritated that I was sure he was still mad at me. Especially since he hung up without saying goodbye.
I got a bad feeling in my gut. He said he wanted to prove to me that this could work, that he could make me happy, but I wasn’t exactly happy with him right now. Maybe I should have pushed for the divorce.
I slid my phone into the back pocket of my jeans and walked into Katie’s kitchen, where she was scrolling on her phone and pretending she hadn’t been eavesdropping.
“I need to go get some things at my apartment,” I told her.
Her brown eyes lit up. “Are you going to go to your husband’s?”
I gritted my teeth. “Yes, even though he’s irritated with me right now.”
She smirked. “I’m sure you can make it up to him.”
“Don’t start.”
“With your mouth!” she teased.
I laughed into my hands. “Katie, shut up.”
She laughed and grabbed her keys. “Come on, girl, let’s go.”
We went back down to her car and headed to Fishtown, where Eric and I used to live together. I don’t know how my life took this weird turn, but somehow it did. My ex was still living in the apartment I shared with him, but I was married to someone else. Katie dropped me off and asked me three times if I was okay, but I waved her off each time. Thankfully, Eric was out, which I was kind of surprised by since it was a Sunday. I didn’t care, as long as he wasn’t here.
I walked into the apartment and didn’t notice a change in it at all. It was as if nothing had happened this past weekend, like Eric and I were still living here happily like we had been for the past couple of years. I bit my lip. Now I was starting to wonder if maybe I should move out and let Eric have the apartment.
I was still scared about what the future held and if this marriage with Riley could really last. Katie’s words were haunting me. Could we be happy together? Is that what Riley really wanted? Or would he stick it out with me because he was loyal to a fault? He was my best and oldest friend, and I wanted him to be happy, even if that meant this marriage was a failure. I never wanted to be the cause of his unhappiness. I cared about him too much for that.
I carried my suitcase into the bedroom and opened it up. I dumped all my dirty clothes in the hamper in the closet. Except for the white wedding gown that was still in the garment bag. I smiled, thinking about how gentle Riley had been with it even though we had both been hammered out of our minds. He had taken the care to help me out of it and not damage it, even if he wanted to rip me out of it. I wondered if Eric would have done the same. I could kick myself for comparing the two men yet again.
I opened my closet and assessed what clothes I had hanging up there. I threw a couple dresses and blouses into my suitcase before packing up some of my casual jeans and t-shirts from the dresser across the room. I packed enough to have clothes at Riley’s place for a few weeks since I wasn’t sure what was going to happen.
I glanced around the room at the rumpled bedclothes on the bed. I vaguely remembered making the bed before we left for Vegas, which meant Eric was still sleeping here. I spied something black underneath the bed and got even more annoyed because he couldn’t bother to pick up his dirty clothes off the floor. I bent down and felt myself throw up in my mouth a little bit. It was a black lacy thong. I did not wear black lacy thongs, so it definitely was not mine.
Unbelievable.
We were broken up now, so I couldn’t be angry at him for sleeping with someone else, but to do it in my bed when I told him to get out of my apartment made my skin crawl.
I snapped a picture of it and sent it to Katie.
ME: OMG! These aren’t mine!
KATIE: Ewwwww!!! My eyes!
ME: KATIE!!! I don’t think your brother has any intention of letting me keep this apartment!
KATIE: Girl, get out and move in with your hot husband!
I sighed and glanced around the room; there were no boxes anywhere or even the appearance of Eric trying to move his stuff out. I sunk down to the floor because the bed now skeeved me out. I would never be able to sleep there again, knowing he had fucked some other woman in it. This was so totally fucked.
I felt my phone buzz again next to me on the carpet.
“Hey,” I said into the phone when I saw it was Riley.
“Sorry, I’m just getting back to my place now. One of my teammates drove me to practice, but I know you’re not far,” he apologized.
I honestly didn’t even notice he was late because I was still reeling from the fact that Eric had completely violated my personal space. I felt like he did it on purpose, and I wondered if those underwear were left there on purpose. A part of me also wondered how long they had been there. Was it just in the last couple days? Maybe Eric didn’t notice we hadn’t had sex in months because he was going to someone else for it. I felt sick to my stomach.
“Fi?” I heard Riley call, and he had definitely called my name more than once.
I shook my head. “Sorry, what?”
“Do you need some time?” he asked again.
“Uh huh,” I answered noncommittally.
“Are you okay?”
“Nope!” I admitted with a shaky laugh.
He cleared his throat on the other line. “Hey, what’s going on?”
“I don’t think I can keep my apartment,” I blurted.
“Oh…okay? Are you sure?” he asked.
Now I wasn’t so sure if this was a good idea, but I knew there was no way I could stay here and sleep in this bed if I knew what Eric had done in it. To be honest, I also wasn’t sure I could afford the rent on my author pay either. Riley didn’t sound relieved like I thought he would, though; he sounded uncertain. My heart tightened in my chest. Now I was even more unsure about what I was about to do. Did I just invite myself to move in with Riley when we were already uncertain if we were going to stay married or not? Fuck, I should have gone back to Katie’s. But Riley called my name again, and I blurted it all out.
“I think he fucked someone in my bed. After I told him to get out and he told me he would find a new place.”
I cringed at the string of curses that flew out of Riley’s mouth. I had to hold the phone away because of how loud he was yelling. “Okay, you have boxes?” he finally asked.
“Uh…” I looked around and then walked into the living room and searched the hall closet. “That’s a big nope.”
He sighed. “Okay, hang tight, I’ve got this. Get together what you can, and I’ll be there soon.”
The phone clicked, and I stared at my phone as the call log blinked. I then marched out of the apartment and down to the landlord’s apartment on the first floor. She was a nice old Asia
n lady, who loved me but straight up hated Eric, so this was going to be hard.
“Fiona!” Mrs. Lee greeted me, and then her face turned down into a frown. “I’ve heard. But good for you. I never liked that man.”
I sighed. “Okay, then you’re not going to like what I say next.”
“What is it?”
“I’m moving out, but Eric isn’t. I know everything is in my name, but can we sign new lease papers so I can sign it over to him?” I asked.
“For you, I do. Otherwise, I would say no,” she answered. Her black-brown eyes darted to my wedding ring. “You’re wearing a wedding ring even though he didn’t show up?”
Shit. “Um…I married someone else. When in Vegas, right?”
She barked out a laugh. “Come in and tell me all about it. Then we’ll draft up those papers for you.”
I really didn’t want to explain the whole thing to my landlady, but she was a lonely old lady, and she had always been nice to me. I also really needed to get her to agree to this so I could get out of the lease without paying her any rent for the next month. So I sipped on green tea with her and told her the whole messy thing. Mrs. Lee was awesome about it when I angry-cried, and she patted my hand and gave me more tea.
“You know, I had an arranged marriage,” she told me and sipped on her tea.
I cocked an eyebrow. “Oh?”
She nodded. “My parents were immigrants, very traditional Chinese, so they picked my husband. He was a good man.”
“Did you love him?” I asked, genuinely curious. My landlady never talked about her husband; he died before I became a tenant.
Her eyes crinkled at her temples when she smiled. “I did, eventually. At first, we had to learn to be with each other, and the love stuff came later. You said you are friends?”
“The best of friends. We grew up together.”
She smiled at me and patted my hand again. “I think you two will be fine.”
I hoped she was right.
Chapter Ten
RILEY
When Fiona called me about wanting to come stay with me, I should have been ecstatic. Instead, I was pissy and snippy with her, even though it wasn’t her I was mad at. Another meeting about how shit the team’s penalty kill was and how I needed to stop it with the dumb penalties put me in a sour mood. I spent a lot of time in the media room with my defensive partner Jonesy going over the tape. Our special teams needed a lot of work, especially if we were going to dig ourselves out of this hole and get a spot in the playoffs. I liked to be optimistic, but I was looking at the stats, and I had my doubts.