by Danica Flynn
“I’ve got to get going,” he apologized.
I waved a hand at him. “Go on, then.”
He looked around at all the boxes in his condo and looked at me again. Then he went into a drawer in the kitchen and handed me a single key. “Here. You need your own key now.”
I stared him down. “What makes you think I’m actually going to leave this place? I’ve got a lot of stuff to do.”
He shook his head. “Don’t hole yourself up while I’m gone, okay? Also, I’m sorry to leave you in the lurch to unpack everything by yourself.”
“It’s fine; you helped enough. It’s just a couple days. I’ll be fine. Go, before you’re late.”
“We can go get you some new bookshelves when I get back, okay?”
I waved him off again. “Go, you’re gonna be late.”
His hand cupped my face, and I felt the cold metal of his wedding ring against my cheek as he kissed me again. Honestly, if this was what being married to him was going to be like, I thought maybe I could get used to it. The deep kisses goodbye were some of the best kisses I had ever received. When he pulled away and left the condo, I felt an odd pang in my heart. I didn’t know what to make of it.
Riley being away for his job didn’t really bother me all that much. I was kind of a recluse, so I liked being alone. But him being on the road being surrounded by women at bars who were more beautiful than me did have me a little worried. I mean, was it a thing that athletes cheated on their wives while they were on the road? Was that something we should have talked about? I knew how he felt about cheaters, but I was still scared to ask. I also didn’t know why I was so worried when I was the one who asked for a divorce, and Riley had convinced me to give this marriage a chance.
Maybe it was finding that thong under my bed yesterday that was making me feel this way. It also made me wonder if that had been the first time Eric had someone else in our bed. It made my skin crawl, so I had to busy myself with unpacking all of my things. I didn’t want to think about it because, in the back of my mind, it explained how Eric didn’t realize that we hadn’t had sex in three months.
I was honestly surprised I hadn’t heard from Eric like at all. He must have come home yesterday surprised to see I had moved all my things out and left the apartment to him. I was still mad about it because it had been my apartment in the first place, but I couldn’t stay there. Not hearing from him solidified that not marrying him had been the right choice. I think our relationship had ended a long time ago, but we kept going through the motions. The not having sex thing should have been the first sign, but I guess being so busy working on my book, I didn’t notice. That didn’t mean it didn’t still hurt, though. It made me actually kind of glad Riley wasn’t here because I could be alone with my thoughts for a couple days and really consider whether jumping into this marriage was a good idea.
I spent all morning unpacking my things, but I still didn’t have a bookcase, so I ended up putting my books in piles in Riley’s office. He said he wanted to get me a nice bookshelf because the one I had in my old apartment was pretty much trashed. It wasn’t ideal, but I could live with it for now.
Around lunchtime, Katie called to check in on me. I ran a hand through my hair in frustration when I saw her name across my phone screen. I picked it up. “Are you checking up on me?” I asked, even though I knew the answer.
She laughed on the other end. “Sorry…yes. How are you doing?”
“Okay…I guess. Riley left for the road this morning, so I’ve kind of just been unpacking. I haven’t even written today yet.”
“Girl, get to writing!”
“I will. Other things are more important right now,” I told her. I wedged the phone between my ear and shoulder and walked over to the dishwasher so I could start unloading it. I might not be a good cook, but the least I could do while Riley was gone was manage the household. I set the phone down on the counter and put it on speaker. “Hang on, I’m putting you on speaker so I can unload the dishes.”
She chuckled on the other line. “Ha! Look at you being a housewife.”
“Shut it. I can’t cook, so at least I can clean.”
“Fi, how are you doing really? I know everything has been hard for you.”
I sighed and unloaded the plates into Riley’s cabinet. This man was surprisingly organized. And clean. Like so fucking clean. He wasn’t the messy teenaged Riley I remembered. “I’m fine. I guess? I don’t know.”
“Things with Riley are good? Are you happy you’re sticking things out with him?”
“I’m not sure yet. One of his teammates came to help me move in here, so most of yesterday was spent getting all my stuff out of the apartment in Fishtown. I think we both were exhausted last night from the packing and from jet lag. We ended up going to sleep early.”
“Uh huh.”
I finished unloading the dishwasher and took the phone with me into the bedroom, where I found Riley’s hamper. It was full, and I wasn’t sure when was the last time he changed the sheets. I stripped those off the bed and started sorting the wash.
“Don’t worry about me,” I reassured Katie.
Since I had started dating her brother, Katie and I had really bonded. Maybe it was because I was a writer and she was an English professor at UPenn. We had a lot in common, and I had been excited at the prospect that we would be sisters, but that wasn’t a good enough reason for me to marry her brother. When her marriage had broken up, I had been the shoulder she cried on while Eric told her to just suck it up. I guess I should have known then that he was a complete and utter dickweed.
She sighed into the phone on her line. “Look, I need to tell you something.”
Fear struck my heart at the tone of her voice. Now I was worried. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” I asked.
“No, it's not about me. It’s just…” She trailed off, and I could almost see her face on the other line scrunching up with anxiety.
“Katie, what?” I asked, frustrated now.
“I ran into Brock on Campus today.”
Oh.
Katie’s ex-husband was a professor of history at UPenn. It was a big campus, so it wasn’t like she was constantly bumping into him. Although, from what Katie had told me, they had a very amicable divorce. No cheating or anything; it just wasn’t working out for them. I think part of it was because he wanted kids, and Katie had always been a part of the no-kids club, just like her brother.
“Hey, I can practically see the pity look on your face right now, but it’s fine. Brock and I didn’t work out, but we’re still friends.”
“Okay, so why are you telling me about this?”
She sighed. “You know the underwear you found?”
I made a gagging sound. “Don’t remind me.”
“Well…it probably wasn’t the first time.”
“What?” I nearly screeched.
“Brock told me he heard about you and Eric breaking up, and then he told me he wasn’t surprised because he saw Eric out one night with a leggy blonde that looked like one of Brock’s students.”
I dropped the detergent into the washer and slammed the lid shut with an angry bang. “What the actual fuck?”
“I’m sorry.”
“Your brother’s a Grade A asshole.”
“Can confirm. I’m sorry again.”
I sighed and turned the dial on the machine to get it going. “Thanks for telling me. I really dodged a bullet, huh?”
“Fi, I’m so sorry about what happened with my brother, but I’m really glad you two didn’t get married.”
“Yeah, me too. I better go; I’ve been procrastinating on writing.”
“Sure. You want to get dinner tomorrow?”
“Definitely.”
After hanging up with Katie, I ran around the condo doing more chores, but mostly it was because I was still procrastinating. It was late when I finally sat down at my computer to work on the novel. I only ended up procrastinating more on Twitter; after all, if you weren’t
dicking around on Twitter with all the other writers, could you even call yourself a writer?
I was so close with this draft, but I saw the deadline looming ahead, and the panic was starting to set in. I really needed to finish this final chapter so I had time to proofread it and send it off to my publisher. I ended up banging out the words, but I didn’t really like it. I knew I needed to come at it with fresh eyes in the morning, so I closed my laptop and headed into the bedroom for some much-needed rest.
Sliding into the sheets of Riley’s big bed felt oddly cold without his warm body there beside me. We had spent three whole days being married and sharing a bed together, and I had gotten used to him being next to me. There was a pang in my chest at being without him, and as I was nodding off into dreamland, I realized it was because I missed him. Good God, it hadn’t even been a full day. What was wrong with me?
Chapter Twelve
RILEY
As soon as I got on the plane heading to Minnesota, of all places, my heart yearned for Fi. I hated that I had to leave her all alone in my condo for the next couple days. We had only been married for a couple days, and we didn’t really get to talk about the expectations.
I wanted this to work because I had loved her since I was a teen, and I didn’t want to let her go again. I was also slightly worried that I would get back from the road to find she had disappeared, leaving me with divorce papers. I felt like we clicked so perfectly. Being married to that woman seemed right to me. Why else had she agreed to marry me so quickly? I wanted to text her and tell her I missed her already, but that seemed so desperate. Fiona was like a stray cat, she spooked easily, and I wanted to coax her inside and take care of her. If she let me.
I put my earbuds in and cracked open the pages of her second book from where I had bookmarked it yesterday. I had to kind of look up what happened in the first book because I read it so long ago that I forgot what happened. I had read the very first draft of it when she was still in college, so I couldn’t remember what had changed.
I was amazed at how much she had improved in her writing. I beamed, thinking about how proud I was of her and all she had accomplished. It made me grit my teeth more that her family and the man she was supposed to marry instead of me had been wholly unsupportive of her work. I didn’t get it. Fi was amazing, and she only quit her job because that first book sold so well.
I must have been absent-mindedly rubbing the ring on my left hand because Girard, our captain, nudged my shoulder. “What’s with you?” he asked.
I marked my page in the book and turned to him. “Huh?” I asked.
G cocked his head at me. “Ri, is that a wedding ring?” he asked, and his eyes got wide.
I sighed. It wasn’t like I was planning on keeping it a secret. Benny already knew, but he wasn’t a big gossip and knew when to keep things close to the vest. G was like the dad of the team, even though he was only a few years older than me. I felt like he was going to berate me for my weird marriage. I hadn’t even told my agent yet because I knew what he was going to say, that I should have gotten a prenup, but I was definitely not going to have that conversation with Fi. If she really wanted to move forward with the divorce, she could have whatever she wanted from me. But I knew her, and I knew she wouldn’t take any of my money. She only moved in with me because her ex basically refused to move out of her apartment.
I ran a hand through my hair and twisted the ring around on my finger again. “Um, yeah, it is,” I confessed.
“I didn’t even know you were engaged,” he commented.
“Uh…I wasn’t,” I admitted.
He eyed me with a confused look and raised both of his eyebrows. “Okay, you need to explain right now.”
I sighed and told him the whole story. When I was done, he was looking at me as if I was certifiable. “Don’t judge me!” I exclaimed.
G pursed his lips. “So let me get this straight. You married your best friend, she asked for a divorce, but now you have a couple of months to convince her that you should stay married?”
I hung my head. “You know, when you say it out loud, it sounds even worse.”
He chuckled and clapped me on the shoulder. “What’s this woman like? I’ve never seen you hung up on someone before.” He turned around in his seat to call over to Hallsy, who sat behind us. “Yo, Hallsy, I owe you twenty bucks.”
“For what?” Hallsy asked, and I looked up at him, standing up and leaning over my seat.
Hallsy was a dark-skinned Black guy from Canada and probably one of the best forwards I had ever skated alongside. Actually, there were a lot of amazing players on this team, but we weren’t gelling right this season. Hallsy’s dark brown eyes sparkled with mirth at the current conversation.
G grinned. “Our boy Riley over here has gone and fallen in love!”
Hallsy laughed, and his dark corkscrew coiled hair bounced with the motion. “Ooh, I knew they would get you soon! TJ’s next!”
“HARD PASS!” TJ yelled from a couple seats in front of us.
I punched G lightly in the shoulder, but I grinned. “Dicks!” I swore at them.
G dramatically rubbed his shoulder, but I knew it didn’t hurt. “You’re gonna tell me all about her,” he demanded.
I held up my book. “She’s fiercely private. Now let me read my wife’s book in peace.”
I laughed at his confused expression and spent the rest of the plane ride to my home state devouring Fi’s book. I was completely amazed that the things on print had come out of her head. I would be lying if I didn’t say I flipped to the back jacket flap a couple times to see her author photo staring back at me because damn, did I miss my wife of three days already, and I wondered if she would ever miss me like that too.
Depending on travel plans, we usually got to a city a day before game day, which was nice because it gave us time to get settled into the hotel, do any meetings, and then be fresh for game day skate and all the pre-game rituals. So once we all got settled into the hotel, I went to go visit my mom. Mom tried to come to games when we played the Minnesota Tundra, but it didn’t always work out. Sometimes she was too busy grading papers.
Even though I told her I would pay off the house for her and take care of her, she wouldn’t hear of it. She loved her job as a high school English teacher, and even though she complained about the bad pay, I knew it was what she wanted. At least she was only working one job these days. Guilt had wrapped around my chest every day as a teen, knowing she was working herself into an early grave when Dad left.
Dad was basically dead to me. We hadn’t talked in years. That was kind of what happened when you were the one to find your dad in a compromising position with his secretary, and then he left your mom for her. I didn’t think I would ever forgive him for that, so I never returned any of his calls. Ever. Fuck that guy.
After Dad left, things were hard for my mom, and the Gallaghers really stepped in to help. It’s why Fi and I had gotten so close in the first place. I worried about my mom; it had just been me and her for so long that I was a wreck when I left for the NHL as an eighteen-year-old. When Mom got remarried a few years ago to Ted, I felt a sigh of relief, but I was uneasy about it. Ted was a good guy, and he made her happy, but I was a bit wary of him. I used to think my dad was a good guy too.
Mom lived in a small split-level in the suburbs of St. Paul, so it was lucky for me that the Tundra played in that city, and I was able to make the trip out to see her. I opened the door to my childhood home and was greeted by my mom and step-dad Ted, who were in the living room watching TV. Being six-foot-tall, I had to bend down to my mom’s five foot nothing frame to hug her and kiss her on the cheek.
“Oh, honey, it’s good to see you,” she greeted me with a smile. “Did you eat yet?”
I smirked. “Yeah, Mom. I’m good.”
Ted shook my hand, and I took it firmly, keeping eye contact with him the whole time. “Ted,” I stated flatly.
“Riley, good to see you,” he greeted and pretended not
to hear the tension in my voice.
I followed my mom into her kitchen and took a seat at the table, hunching my big frame into the wood-backed chair. Mom made a cup of tea and sat in the chair across from me.
She had this funny look on her face that I couldn’t place. “What?” I asked, annoyed that I was about to get a lecture.
She set her teacup down and sighed. “I have to ask. Why did you do it?”
“Do what?”
“Marry Fiona.”
I looked down at my shoes. “What do you mean ‘why?’ She’s my best friend; it felt right.”
She looked unsure and ran a hand through her short-cropped, pale blond hair. She gave me a sympathetic smile and put her hand on top of mine. “Baby, I love you, and I want to see you happy, but…is your marriage real?”
“What?” I scoffed. “What are you talking about? Of course it’s real.”
She dropped her gaze from me and ran a hand over the rim of her teacup. She breathed out and looked back up at me. “Look, I love you, and I love Fiona, and I would love it if you two were really together. But I know you only did this because you couldn’t stand to see her so hurt.”
I stared back at her, my jaw twitching in annoyance. That was only partly true, but I didn’t want to admit to my mom that the reason I did it was that Fiona was the love of my life.
“You married her immediately after she was left at the altar; she didn’t even get a chance to grieve over the end of her five-year relationship,” she explained. She must have seen the sea of torment spread across my face because she squeezed my hand. “I’m sorry, but I felt like you rushed into a marriage neither of you was really prepared for.”
I scratched the back of my neck because I didn’t know what to say. This was exactly why Fi had asked me for a divorce the next day. We had rushed into this marriage, and now I had trapped her in it with my ridiculous romantic notions that I could get her to fall in love with me. Maybe she should have kept her apartment. Fuck, now I felt like an asshole.