by Nia Arthurs
Erin could feel Ryan on top of her. When she started to relax, he stopped kissing her to say, “Are you still up?”
At that moment, Cooper’s voice whispered through her mind. “Don’t ever be ashamed of who you are or what you want.”
Erin didn’t want this.
As black spots danced before her eye, she curved her fingers and clawed at Ryan. Her head snaked from side to side. She couldn’t scream, but with her every breath she moaned one word, “No. No. No.”
Ryan froze. Dipped his head closer to hers. “Erin?”
“No.” His face turned fuzzy. Unrecognizable. She didn’t care. Nothing mattered except making her demands clear. “Stop.”
“It’s okay. I’m not going to hurt you.”
“Please.” A tear slipped from her eye and then everything went black.
“Erin!” A hand dug into her shoulder. What was that voice? It sounded like Peggy’s. “Erin!”
Her eyes burst open and her sister’s face came into view. Erin shot to a sitting position, grappling at the sheets that fell off her naked body. “Peggy, what are you doing here?” She glanced from side to side. “Where am I?”
“You’re in Ryan’s dorm.” Peggy shot her a dark look. “You made such a big fuss about not doing anything stupid yesterday, and I should have been the one worrying about you.”
Erin’s heart sank. What exactly happened last night? Why couldn’t she remember?
18 Cooper
“You didn’t have to drive all the way up here,” he said, leaving the door open so his visitor could walk in on his own. “I asked for information. You could have given me over a call or sent an email.”
“No, sah,” Josiah said.
Cooper’s small smile pulled at the cut over his lip and made him hiss in pain.
Josiah shot to his side. Worry carved new lines into his already wizened face. “Yuh went to the hospital?”
Cooper shook his head. “Nothing’s broken that I can tell.”
“So you dah doctor now?” Josiah arched a bushy eyebrow.
“Enough.” Cooper sat in the bar stools around the island counter and looked Josiah straight in the eyes. “Who were those men?”
Josiah glanced at the floor. “The Santinos. Drug people. Yuh father use them to hide some money and now that he got it back, they demanding more payment. Yuh know Brandon, he—”
“Won’t give in,” Cooper said, finishing Josiah’s thought. “I guess they didn’t have the guts to go after Dad so they came after me instead.” Cooper chuckled. “Bad move. Any respect Dad had for them is gone now.”
“Yuh want to call and give them advice or something?”
Cooper shrugged. “I would if they asked. They must be really desperate if they thought Dad would listen just because they threatened me. Even if they skin me alive, he won’t budge. He never will.”
“It’s too dangerous, sah.” Josiah wrung his hands. “Yuh must go back da States.”
His heart rejected the idea. Cooper rose and rounded the counter to light the stove and set a pan above the flame. “You hungry, Josiah?”
“Mista Lawson—”
“How many times have I told you to call me Cooper?”
“Coopa, listen to me. I can’t stand fuh see yuh hurt.”
“I’m fine. A few cuts and bruises is nothing.”
“Yuh mussi mad!” Josiah flung his stocky arms. “Yuh think they Santinos are anything to play with? They crazy. Yuh father only mess wid them because they do anything for a price. What if they come back?”
“They won’t.”
“I will tell yuh mother.”
Cooper cracked an egg into a bowl and said softly but firmly, “Leave my mother out of this.”
Josiah shivered. “You scary, yuh know. Even as a chile.”
Cooper stirred the eggs wordlessly. His mind tripped back to the gang’s visit last night. It wasn’t the first time someone with a grudge against his father had taken it out on him, but he wasn’t a scrawny little fourteen-year-old anymore.
Rather than scared, he was pissed.
Cooper grabbed a knife and expertly chopped onions, cilantro, tomatoes, and green peppers. His jaw clenched. His fingers tightened over the handle of the sharp blade. “Josiah.”
“Yes, sah.”
“I need to get my hands on Dad’s transaction with the Santinos.”
Josiah’s usual chestnut brown face turned pale.
Cooper continued before he could argue. “I know that type of information is probably in Dad’s vault. I also know that you’re the only one who can sneak into Dad’s office and get it.”
“What will yuh do with it?”
“Let me worry about that.”
“Coopa—”
He threw the vegetables in the pan and glanced over his shoulder. “Bacon?”
“What?”
“Do you want bacon with your eggs?”
“I can’t eat nothing.” Josiah snaked an arm around his waist. Sweat beaded on his temple. “If yuh father find out I mess with his things…”
“Then don’t let him find out.” Cooper poured the eggs in the pan and used a spatula to scramble them. “In the meantime, I’ll speak to the contacts I made at the Cayo police station. I got a few business cards after Erin…” His throat tightened. He stirred the eggs more intently. “I’ll handle the police.”
“Police?” Josiah’s eyes doubled in size.
Cooper finished with the eggs and slid them into a plate. He set it before Josiah. “Eat up.”
Though the scent of the food was scrumptious, both men only picked at their meal. Cooper’s mind seesawed between the mess with his father and his fight with Erin.
His attempted love confessions always ended with the words getting stuck in his throat and Erin storming off. He had to figure out a way to be honest without pissing her off.
After a few minutes of sitting in silence and shoving his fork around his plate, Josiah got up. “I can’t stand the mess in yah. Give me a broom.”
“What mess? I thought I got everything.” Cooper had done his best to sweep up the broken glass and put the pillows back where they belonged. Apparently, his idea of ‘clean’ clashed with Josiah’s. It had been that way since he was a kid.
Cooper slid off his stool and grabbed the cleaning supplies from the closet. While Josiah got to work, Cooper tapped his fingers against the counter.
As much as his father seemed to resent him, Cooper didn’t want to be the one to initiate his downfall. His plan was not to expose Brandon Lawson’s dark deeds. All he needed was the Santinos to be occupied with the law rather than with him.
The trick would be finding a lead through his father’s documents that didn’t implicate the Lawsons in the process.
Josiah flicked on the vacuum cleaner. Cooper padded to his bedroom and locked the door to escape from the noise. He sat on the bed and pulled out his phone, maneuvering to his messages. He pulled up Erin’s number and started typing.
Only to erase everything in the end.
Cooper groaned and flopped on his back, staring at the ceiling. Every part of him ached, but nothing pained him as much as his heart. All he wanted was Erin. Why did things have to be so complicated?
A few minutes later, a knock sounded at the door. “I’m done, sah.”
Cooper opened up. “Thanks.”
“Be safe,” Josiah said, pinning him with a stare that warned he would personally drive up from Belize City and thrash his behind if he disobeyed.
“Of course.” Cooper smirked. “Bring me those files as soon as possible.”
Josiah sent him an anxious look but nodded. Cooper watched as he lumbered out of the apartment and shut the door behind him.
In the raging silence, he picked up his phone and glanced at the screen. No new messages. Cooper hadn’t expected Erin to reach out to him, but if Josiah had heard about his injuries that meant his father knew too.
Of course, he couldn’t be bothered to show up or even call and check on him.
>
Cooper should not be this disappointed. Especially when his father had proven time and time again that he cared about his son as much as he did one of his less performing business assets.
Hoping to slip away from reality for a bit, Cooper fell into bed, rolled on his side and went to sleep.
When he woke up, it was dawn. He rubbed his eyes and blinked in surprise. He’d woken up once last night to pop another pain pill. He’d planned to sleep for another few hours and then visit the police station.
Guess he’d have to do that after classes.
Cooper grabbed some clean clothes and headed to the bathroom. He stripped in front of the mirror and winced at the bruises marring his face and chest. His skin was yellow in some places, purple in others, and blue in the rest. He looked like a human abstract painting.
At least his clothes would cover everything from the neck down, but there was nothing he could do about his face. Cooper slipped a hand over the bruise at his jaw that was a deep, throbbing purple.
Hopefully, no one asked any questions.
He headed to school and kept his head down and his mouth shut through most of his classes. People looked and pointed, probably wondering about his busted face, but no one had the courage to approach him.
It was a relief to head for the library. He had an hour to decompress and mentally prepare for his last class.
Cooper climbed the stairs and passed rows of books. His favorite spot was squirrelled away between the last few bookshelves in the research section. He saw a woman sitting in his seat and stiffened.
Who had taken his spot?
Cooper walked in and cringed when the woman turned. He recognized Kay’s face. Her braids were tucked into a bun high above her head. Her brown eyes glimmered with excitement. Cooper almost groaned.
“What are you doing here?” he asked coldly.
“Is this your spot?”
Cooper didn’t buy that innocent act. She knew where she was. “Get up.”
“There aren’t any other chairs.” Kay glanced around, her braids fanning behind her. “I guess I can sit in your lap so the both of us can share.”
Cooper scoffed. “Forget it.”
“I can go if you want.”
“You were here first.” Cooper backed up. “See you in class.”
“Why do you always run from me?” Kay whispered.
Cooper heard a note of sorrow in her voice that made him pause. She was persistent. Annoyingly so. But in some ways, she was braver than him. He couldn’t sum up the courage to tell Erin how he felt while Kay seemed to blast it from the rooftops.
“How was your weekend?” Kay asked. “I bet it wasn’t as good as Erin’s.”
“What does that mean?”
“Nothing.” Kay folded one jean-clad leg over the other. “Weren’t you leaving?”
Cooper stalked back to Kay. The slight pity he had for her drained out of him like exhaust fluid. He slammed his hands on the desk and watched her flinch. His voice was a low growl when he said, “Talk crap about Erin to me. I dare you.”
“Why are you running after someone who doesn’t even like you?” Kay snapped. Tears built in her eyes. Her voice turned hoarse, desperate.
Cooper straightened. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“She’s not into you. She will never be into you.”
Cooper’s jaw clenched. “That’s enough.”
Kay leaped out of the chair and clung to him. “I won’t ever treat you coldly. I’ll take care of you. I’ll do anything you want. It doesn’t matter if you use me for one night or a thousand.”
Disgust washed over him. He turned around. “Let go.”
“No.” Kay dug her face into his back. “Erin won’t ever love you. You can’t be happy until you accept that.”
Kay’s words were meant to stir his ire and it was working. Sensing he was reaching his breaking point, Cooper yanked his arm free.
Kay stumbled into a bookshelf. It swayed. Dislodged books rained around her. She held her hands up to guard her face from the pointed ends of the hardbacks and blurted, “Erin slept with Ryan on Friday night.”
His heart pounded, but he refused to let Kay get to him. Cooper’s lips turned up in a sneer. “Nice try.”
“It’s true.” Kay swiped a tear that fell from her eye and stepped away from the now stable bookshelf. “My friend’s room is right next to Ryan’s. He saw them going in on Friday night. He heard them moaning. Heard the mattress springs groaning.”
“Shut up.”
Kay’s eyes glinted with determination. “Erin fooled you like she fooled everyone else. She’s not some innocent angel. She’s playing you and Ryan. She’s evil, Cooper.”
“You’re lying.”
She stared him straight in the eyes. “If you don’t believe me, ask her yourself.”
He stumbled back, his chest tightening. Cooper managed to make it out into the aisle without tripping over his feet.
Erin slept with Ryan.
Kay wouldn’t have mentioned that if she didn’t have proof. She was crazy, but she wasn’t a liar. His mind raced, whirred with images. Erin naked. In Ryan’s bed. Black hair tumbling around her brown shoulders. Smiling at the punk.
He winced and gritted his teeth. So she gave her virginity to Ryan? After making a big deal about how much her first experiences meant to her?
Cooper tripped down the stairs and walked aimlessly through the halls. He bumped into someone but didn’t bother apologizing.
If what Kay said was true, if Erin had sex with Ryan… if she chose him after everything, then he really didn’t stand a chance.
19 Erin
Erin saw the crowd in the hallway parting to let someone through. She recognized Cooper’s messy hair and broad-shoulders. He stood a head above everyone else. Even if he wasn’t so tall she would have noticed him right away.
There was an extra intensity to him that blew out of his body like a force field and slammed into everyone in a five-meter radius. Her heart thudded and her first instinct was to run and hide.
“What are you doing, Erin?” She quietly scolded herself. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
Squaring her shoulders, Erin turned back around. As Cooper strode nearer, she gasped. His face looked like someone had mistaken him for a piñata. A yellowish bruise circled his eyes and a purple splotch lined his jaw.
She was so shocked, she couldn’t move. Cooper noticed her and stopped, his gaze raking over her.
“What happened to you?” she demanded. Erin surged forward, her irritation and shame forgotten as she struggled to make sense of his appearance. Her hand floated in the air, hovering over his cheek.
Cooper’s jaw turned as sharp as a knife. He moved his face away. A clear snub. Erin’s fingers shriveled and she dropped her hand, confused by his behavior.
“Cooper?”
“Is it true?” His honey eyes flashed.
She swallowed, instantly on edge. “What?”
“Did you sleep with Ryan?”
“W-what?”
“Did you?”
“That’s none of your business.”
“Don’t give me that.” Cooper stepped closer to her. Intimidated, Erin shuffled back. Her heart thundered in her ears. Cooper’s expression was hard, terrifying. “Did you spend Friday night in his apartment?”
She swallowed.
He leaned closer. “Did you sleep with him?”
“Cooper…”
He whirled around and stormed down the hall. Students jumped out of the way, sensing that he would plow them over if they didn’t move. Her pulse skittered. Erin followed Cooper outside and down the dirt path.
The sun blasted her forehead. Her feet crunched against dried grass and what was left of the confetti that the student council had blasted at midnight. Birds cawed overhead, a haunting chant that pulled her into a deeper panic.
They were headed to the gym. Why would they suddenly go there unless…?
Ryan. Coop
er was going after Ryan.
She sprinted ahead of him and jumped into his path. “Cooper, wait a minute.”
He didn’t hear her. Cooper’s nose flared. His eyes burned like fire. The wind plowed through his thick brown hair, picking up the golden highlights in their strands. He looked like a fierce Roman warrior.
One who was about to corner and kill his opponent.
Erin licked her lips and jumped in front of him again. “I’ll tell you.”
His boots skated against the dirt. He studied her, saying nothing.
Erin locked her hands together, trying to stop their trembling. “After the dance, I drove Ryan home. He was drunk and I was worried.” She shook her head and squeezed her eyes shut as she admitted, “I did go to his dorm room … but I don’t remember what happened.”
“What the hell does that mean?” Cooper growled. His voice was a dangerous tinge that sent fear skittering up her arms.
“I’m telling you the truth, okay!” She yelled. “I don’t remember.”
“How can you not remember?”
“I drank something and then it all kind of went blank.”
“Are you saying he drugged you?” Cooper’s face reddened.
“No. That’s not it.” She held out a hand. Why did she have to discuss this with Cooper of all people? She hadn’t even told Peggy or Iris about what had happened on Friday night. Mostly because she felt stupid for even putting herself in that situation in the first place.
Whatever happened after she drank that beer in Ryan’s apartment was half her fault. So she didn’t put up a fuss or talk to Ryan about any of it. In fact, she’d screened his calls all weekend and planned on avoiding him. At least until she recovered her memories.
‘Humiliated’ did not even begin to cover how she felt.
After Peggy found her on Saturday morning, she’d gotten dressed and slinked to the car. Fielding her sister’s questions was a challenge, but Erin managed to lie and assure Peggy that nothing had happened. At least that was what she’d been hoping for.
Even if she had lost her virginity to Ryan, she had no recollection of it whatsoever. So… that meant it didn’t count.
Right?