As usual my brother sits there watching and probably assessing me. Why is it whenever I feel like I’m going to have a mental break down he takes a few steps back and watches from a distance?
“I am genuinely asking how you are. What, a brother can’t worry about his sister? What is this world coming to? Ids mentioned you were suffering from a migraine so I thought I better check on you.”
“So that’s it? She didn’t tell you to ask me about Ebris? I thought you never lie, brother.” He leans forward resting his hands together in front of him, hanging his head low.
“Ids doesn’t need me to talk to you, she can handle that sort of thing of her own. She’s worried about you, so am I. You haven’t been yourself in centuries and it seems with each meeting you become worse. Doesn’t it worry you?”
“Of course, it worries me. What kind of half brained silly idea makes you think I’m not worried? I am fully aware something isn’t right with me. But what can I do? I have no way of proving Vemnos is tampering with my head, and without proof I can’t do anything. Who would believe me? To everyone I am just the goddess who’s lost her mind. I could shout it from the palace rooftop and I would still be looked at as an idiot.
“No one thinks you’re an idiot. How could anyone think that?” Straightening his back, he gestures toward me with open arms. I hesitate for a moment before moving into his embrace. He wraps his arms tightly around me, holding me close. “The only people who could possibly think you’re an idiot are idiots themselves.” He starts running his fingers through my hair in a gesture so similar to Idnera’s way of relaxing me. “Dray, please listen to me.” He lets me go so he can see into my eyes. “I love you no matter what. You’re my sister and I would be lost without you. But you also need to listen to me. Forget about Ebris, he doesn’t love you. I know it hurts, but it’s the truth.” I forcibly shrug his arms off me and push him away.
“You as well? Why the fuck has everyone got to interfere with my life? My life! Do you hear me? Ebris does love me, I know he does, it’s only Vemnos stopping him. And I’ll prove it!” I stand and start heading for the door, my fists are balled so tight I may punch him if he gets any closer to me.
“Dray, where are you going?” My brother’s voice seems desperate, yet I don’t turn back. “I’m proving once and for all who Ebris truly cares for.” I open and slam the door behind me, leaving my brother calling from the balcony. He knows better than to follow me.
Storming the halls, I pass a few people who are probably staring at me, yet I can’t seem to find a reason to care. I ignore everything and continue on until I reach Ebris’ room. Not waiting to knock or even be invited in, I barge through the door to find Ebris sitting behind his desk. Calm and reserved as usual, he hasn’t even batted an eyelid on my arrival. He raises an eyebrow in puzzlement. “Draythys. To what do I owe the intrusion?”
“Do you love me?” No need to make pretenses and drag this out. As soon as he’s confirmed his love for me then we can move on.
“Excuse me?” Both eyebrows rise in shock as he sits back in his chair.
“You heard me. Do you love me?” I move closer to his desk as he stands, placing his hands down on the table in front of him.
“Where on earth did you get that absurd notion? Love? Me? I’m sorry sugar but I don’t love anyone.” He shakes his head in what I think is disbelief. That can’t be it, can it?
“You must. Why else would you let me into your bed?” Drumming begins in my head again, little taps reminding me of something, although I don’t know what.
“What you think because at one point I enjoyed fucking you it meant I love you? What fucking kind of reasoning is that? Seriously, you believe I love you?” I would have thought he was joking if it wasn’t for the disgusted sneer he glares back at me with. But he does love me, I know it, I can feel it. It’s Vemnos causing this.
“Did Vemnos force you to say that? Why else would you say those sorts of things to me?” I must be right. I must be. I can’t have wasted centuries thinking he loved me if it wasn’t true. No, I’m sure he’s told me before how much he cares for me. This must be a mistake. That’s it, it’s all a big mistake. He’s playing with me. He must be. He has to be.
“Vemnos has nothing to do with it. He’s fucking right, you have got a crush on me. I thought maybe he was just teasing me to piss me off. I can’t believe I have to tell that asshole he’s right. I’ll never live it down.” He looks away from me shaking his head again.
“You told me you cared for me. You did. I’m sure of it.” His yellow eyes cut back to me.
“No. I have never, and will never say I love anyone. I have no idea where you get these stupid ideas. I mean I’ve heard rumors about how crazy you were becoming, which is one of the reasons I haven’t called you to my bed in ages. I don’t need a crazy person in my life, there’s enough of my own crazy to deal with.”
“You did. It was so long ago, perhaps you don’t remember. It was in the garden. I’m sure of it. We were watching the sunset, and you put your arm around me. I remember it. I do. I’m not crazy.” No, I’m not crazy. I’m not crazy.
“Me? In the garden with sunsets? Are you even listening to yourself? I would never be seen near anything so revolting. Listen, I’m trying to let you down as easily as I can. I do not love you. I will never love you. I have no thoughts, care or feelings about you. For fuck’s sake I don’t even want to shag you. Will you kindly do me the honor of getting the fuck out of my sight.” His eyes glow from the power he’s holding back. Or perhaps it’s his emotions. I know what I saw. What I feel.
I sprint forward and stand in front of his desk ready to reach for him. I know he doesn’t mean these hurtful words. He loves me. He has to. “Ebris please listen to me. I don’t know what Vemnos has done to you, but—”
“NO FUCKING BUTS. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SIGHT BEFORE I DECIDE TO CUT INTO YOU TO SEE WHAT YOUR FUCKING HEART REALLY LOOKS LIKE!” His roar is so loud as he shoves everything off his desk and glares at me with pure hatred. The sound of his bellow is nothing compared to the sound of my heart shattering into millions of icy shards. I stare open mouthed and wide-eyed as tears streak against my cheeks. No. No. No. That can’t be it.
“Ebris, please I beg of you, do not turn me away. I love you,” I plead, my tears glazing over my vision.
“GET OUT!!” he shouts once more, making me jerk back and run for the door. I open it and rush through without looking back and keep on running until my lungs physically can’t keep up with the pressure I’m putting on them. Ebris. No. No. I collapse to the floor not knowing or caring where I am. I wrap my arms around myself and empty the contents of my stomach and then continue crying. Why doesn’t he want me? What’s wrong with me? Why won’t he love me? I wrap my arms tightly around me in an attempt to try to block out all the pain and grief I feel. How could I have been so wrong?
Nothing is ever going to be the same. My brother, Iddy, Neris, strangers, everyone was right. He never loved me. He doesn’t even care about me. I was wrong. How could I have been so wrong? Numbness begins to take over, the pain like an icy grip on my heart blacking out any light I have ever had in my life. I succumb to the grief of my own stupidity and lie on the cold ground and cry.
14
Idnera
The conversation with Dray earlier didn’t go well in the slightest. I feel so lost. All I want to do is help my best friend, yet the more she wishes to follow Ebris the further away from me she gets. I was going to talk to Neris about everything but decided against it. What good would distressing Dray more do? Nothing. Therefore, I’ve decided to give her some space to calm down. My mind keeps wandering back to when she stormed away, presumably to see Ebris. I have no idea how that may have gone. All I know is that Dray needs help, although I’m afraid if she keeps listening to this insane idea that Ebris has any feelings for her there just may be nothing left to save.
I walk toward my personal garden and notice the doors are wide open. Funny. I don’t remembe
r doing that. Quietly walking through, my heart breaks a little to see my best friend lying on the floor curled tightly into a ball. Her back is shaking from the force of the sobs echoing through her.
“Dray?” I carefully edge closer and crouch to the floor next to her. She doesn’t seem to care I am here, or even notice. “Dray, what happened?” I tentatively reach out my hand to place it on her back. As my fingers land on her shoulder she stiffens and looks up to glare at me.
“Do you even need to ask?” she snarls back.
“I take it things didn’t go well with Ebris? What happened?” I keep my hands to myself, I don’t want to risk upsetting her again.
“No Iddy, things did not go well with Ebris. He shouted at me and told me to fuck off or he would cut me open and rip out my heart.” I can see so much pain circling in her eyes and all I wish to do is erase every last drop of it, if only she would let me.
“Oh, Dray, I’m so sorry.” I reach for her once more and this time she looks from my eyes to my open arms and shifts out of her balled stance and curls into me. I hold her close and begin smoothing her hair. I’m not quite sure what to say or what to do. I always had a feeling this would eventually happen, but it’s not like I can say something like that or it may appear as if I’m gloating.
“I just don’t understand Iddy. I honestly thought he cared for me, yet he said the things I remembered never happened. It can’t have all been Vemnos, can it? How could he have created those kinds of memories and I not realize they were fake?” From within my arms she stares at me, her beautiful eyes red rimmed and full of tears. I swipe my thumb across her soaked cheek, offering her a gentle smile. “Truthfully, I think he has been slowing tampering with your mind for ages. Perhaps the changes were so subtle you may not have noticed them as they happened. Vemnos is the god of malice and trickery, if anyone was capable of causing and inflicting fake truths and lies it would be him.”
“Why does it hurt so much? Why does it feel like my heart has been carved out and handed over without a second thought? It hurts so much Iddy. I want it to stop. Please make it stop.” She clings onto my clothes where her tears have soaked me through. I play with her hair and along the back of her neck in as calming a gesture as possible.
“Shh. I know sweetie. I know it hurts. I understand that you had built up this dream and you thought Ebris was the one for you. And I know you probably feel like you have been betrayed by your heart and mind. But you must understand, it’s not your fault, not for a second. And whatever you feel now will pass. It won’t be like this forever, I promise you.” Her sobs seem to ease a little the longer I talk and hug her tight. If I thought for a moment being in my arms would cause all her pain to go away, I would gladly stay like this forever.
It’s no secret I have been in love with Draythys for forever. I have never said any such thing to Dray myself, but I’m well aware everyone else knows of my feelings for the blue goddess of the underworld. I stare mesmerized as my fingers brush against her skin. Her blue complements my pink skin so well, it’s as if we were made for each other. I have never cared for anyone the way I care for Dray, and if I thought she may want me too, then I would tell her in a heartbeat. At the moment there’s no point in mentioning anything to her. I don’t honestly think she would be able to cope with both Ebris’ rejection and my announcement of devotion. No, better to stay quiet. I will tell her one day, just not now. Now the best thing I can do is hold on to Dray and be here for her.
Leaning down, I place a tender kiss against her head. I need to talk to Neris sooner rather than later. Things need to change and quickly before something bad happens. Which I’m sure with Vemnos and Ebris is more than possible. They need to be stopped.
VEMNOS
Damn. That couldn’t have gone any better than the way it did. I mean it may have been nice to witness Ebris beating the shit out of Dray. The color of her blood against Ebris’ pale skin would have been delicious. But for some reason today he preferred just to shout at her. Maybe he’s getting softer the older he gets.
I watch with the hugest fucking grin on my face as Draythys runs away crying. It’s so good when things go the way I want them to. I quietly stalk along the upper hallways until I reach the balcony above Idnera’s private garden. Just as I thought. Draythys is curled up in a tight ball crying her eyes out and once again Goddess Candyfloss is there to save the day and make her better. Must be interesting for her, with everyone knowing of her feelings for Dray, except Dray herself.
This has been such a slow, drawn-out process. Every day I have cast another mind curse to lock another part of her brain so she can’t access it. I’m slowly driving her insane, so torturously slow, it’s fantastic. It’s amazing what a little magic can do.
Everyone loves to think that they’re in control, yet the person who controls the mind has the most power. What has taken centuries of work has finally resulted in Ebris casting her aside. She doesn’t have what I want, so she is worthless. I do at some points wish there was a faster way to get results. Sometimes the effort outweighs the idea of the result. I still do it though. When I want something as desperately as I do then I am willing to do whatever it takes.
Glancing down again, I watch as the bubble gum pink goddess presses a kiss on Dray’s head and holds her tighter. Great, looks like she still has that crush on her. Maybe I can have some fun with it later.
But for now, I have enough problems dealing with a certain phoenix. My last visit to the little bitch didn’t go as planned. Fuck it. I’m still mad at her. I think I need to change my tactic with her but I’m not sure how. I begin wracking my brain thinking of ways to deal with the bitch. The best outcome would result in her chained up once more ready for me to carve into her, but this time I won’t let her die until I’m ready. I’ll let her fester after I’ve caused her as much pain as possible. The goody two shoes can’t transport her as long as she’s alive and chained. Seems the asshole only appears after I’ve killed her. All this time he thinks I don’t know about him. He must be really stupid to think I’m oblivious to his actions. I’ll need to deal with him at some point, just not yet.
I have part of a plan in place, but the question is just how I’m going to get close enough to seize and drag her ass back here.
I’m so fucking fed up with things not going the way I want them to. Apart from the fun I have had playing with Draythys’ mind all this time, nothing else seems to be working. Turning up in Alina’s room the other night didn’t work and very nearly resulted in me either being permanently scarred or possibly my death. I shudder at the thought of how close it could have been. I can’t let her get that close next time.
Turning away from the window, I begin thinking of different ways to approach her. Nightmares and personal visits to her room didn’t really work so well, but maybe…
Fuck yes! Why didn’t I think of it sooner? I have the perfect idea!
I just need a few things before I give her another visit. Time to go get the maggot.
15
Galen
The feeling of Killian snuggling closer is exquisite. I let out a contented sigh as my mind drifts back to Alina. The feeling of having them both against me last night drifts into my mind, filling me with a happiness I can’t even begin to describe. I wish she was here with us now, yet I understand that after what happened in the kitchen with Killian it’s probably for the best she has some space. I know they have already started to care as deeply for one another, as I have for them. My mind boggles at the idea that in just over a month I have already come to care for these two in a way I have never felt before.
If only I wasn’t trapped in this form. I can’t wait to be able to shift again and sweep both of them into my arms and have them both screaming my name, if they so desire. Why does my cursed mind still keep jumping to the idea of both of them in my bed? I am a greedy fuck. I’m never going to deny that. The idea of being able to please both Alina and Killian fills me with an emotion I can’t even begin to describe. I know fo
r a fact it would be more than just sex, it would be everything to me.
Killian’s gentle breathing begins lulling me into a welcome sleep, which will hopefully be filled with delicious and wonderful dreams of my two favorite people.
I feel a sudden jolt, my eyes snapping open at the sound of a whip cracking in the air followed by a severe grunt of pain.
Glancing around, I notice I’m not in the barn. More worrying is that Killian isn’t against my side anymore. I see the familiar stone of the god’s palace walls, the grass below my hooves looks dry and brown and the sky is a dark ominous gray filled with thunderclouds.
I continue looking around trying to work out how I ended up here. Did Neris send for me? What was that noise? Why am I here?
My questions stop as soon as my gaze lands on two figures with their wrists and ankles bound behind them as another crack of a whip pierces the air. This time a gut-wrenching scream fills my heart with dread. I can’t make out who the figures are at first from the bleakness surrounding me. Everything looks gray and dismal, the air tasting bitter and stagnant against my tongue.
As my focus adjusts to the low lighting, I can finally make out who the people in front of me are. My heart nearly shatters when I see it’s none other than Alina and Killian. They are chained, wearing nothing but rags. Through their torn clothes I can make out deep slashes and welts in their skin where they must have been whipped multiple times.
I need to get them both away from here. I try to run forward but my legs refuse to move. They feel like they are encased in ice, chilling me down to the bone. Although the chill on my legs is nothing compared to the sharp blast of cold that hits my heart when I see Vemnos. In his tightly clenched fist is a large menacing black whip, the ends streaked with the blood of my friends. I want to call out to beg Alina to let her fire loose to free them both, yet nothing comes out.
Whispers of Tomorrow (The Alina Chronicles Book 2) Page 12