by Jessa York
“Lies? You don’t want any lies between us? What the hell do you call this? You have a whole fucking world you’ve hidden from me.”
And she was back to being pissed. But she was also right. I suppose I lied by omission.
“I should have told you. I’m sorry. You’re just so fucking gorgeous and classy, I didn’t want to sound flaky and turn you off.” I gave her my best and only excuse.
“Writing isn’t flaky. I bet you’re great at it. I just wish you would have told me. You had ample opportunity.”
“It’s called insecurity.”
“Can I read some of your stuff?”
That made me smile to think she’d even want to. I leaned in, almost touching her lips. “Later,” was all I said before taking her lips in mine for the first time in forever. Fuck, she tasted good. I couldn’t get enough of her as my tongue swept into her mouth. She sighed sweetly, like she was just as relieved as I was. Of course, I took full advantage, kissing her harder, my hands roaming her body, relearning her curves all over again.
Pushing Vivienne all the way down onto the bed, I lay down on her. Squeezing her sweet ass, we instinctively pressed our lower halves together. Her gasps spurred me on.
I licked and kissed down her neck to her chest. Next, I unzipped her dress, unable to think of anything else but burying myself inside her sweet warmth. We fumbled, pulling her dress off with clumsy, desperate hands.
Her arms twisted behind her back to release the hooks of her sexy red lace bra.
The sight before me left me breathless. “You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen,” I told her reverently, unable to take my eyes off her luscious form. “I’ve waited so long to see you again. You’re so hot, baby.” I tenderly caressed her skin with the tips of my fingers, trailing her tattoo. “This looks phenomenal. It healed well. Do you like it?” Her nod was barely perceptible, but I saw it.
Her vulnerability at this moment turned me on, big time. I loved when this confident, cocky woman turned into putty in my hands. Leaning forward, I breezily kissed her healed tattoo, then moved down to pay some much-needed attention to her tantalizing breasts. The scent of her perfume consumed my senses, driving me even madder.
I stroked her beautiful chest, teasing one nipple with my tongue. She moaned, sighing from my manipulations, in turn making me hotter with each passing second. Moving to her other breast, I soon realized I couldn’t take much more and neither could she. The way she was grinding against me, I’d bet my life she hadn’t seen any action since our last night together. That thought drove me even crazier. It might kill the mood, but I had to ask to be safe.
“Has there been anyone? Since me?” I murmured against her torso, barely harnessing my control. What if she said yes?
“What?” she asked, confused. “No, of course not.” I rested my head on her stomach, relieved at her answer. Her fingers drove into my hair, the sensation making me shiver.
“Me either,” I whispered against her navel as I kissed her soft belly.
All this time I’d assumed she was in bed with that douche, but she was really waiting for me. I was an idiot. Emotion choked me, thinking how much time I’d wasted.
I continued kissing and licking my way down until I was face to face with the sexiest pair of red panties I’d ever laid eyes on. The underwear was good, great even, but I knew what was underneath them was better. Seizing the edges, I slowly pulled them down her legs, holding her eyes with mine. She gasped, her chest heaving with anticipation.
The look on her face was one of awe. She’d missed me, too. That much was more than obvious. Lazily, I nipped up her leg to her thigh, taking my sweet time. A moan fell out of her lips. Nearly at my destination, I stopped, relocating to her other leg, licking and teasing her all over again.
A sweet murmur of protest filled my ears as I was so close, but yet so far from what she really wanted. Her patience was running thin. I kissed even more slowly up her leg this time, prolonging her wait for my mouth on her core. Before I knew it, she’d pushed up on her elbows, watching me, trying to make me go faster with her stare.
“I can’t wait. I ache so bad for you. I need you. Please,” she begged urgently. It was music to my ears. In a flash, my mouth was on her. She eased back down onto the bed with a loud sigh.
She tasted like ripe cherries on a warm summer day. After one taste I couldn’t stop devouring her. I didn’t want this to end. Her hips writhed in a rhythmic motion against my mouth. Soon, I heard the familiar tiny gasps that haunted my dreams.
“I need more. Oh God, Jason, I need more. Please,” she urged as her head thrashed from side to side. Then she held my head to keep me exactly where she needed me. Happy to comply, I slid a finger inside to aid me in my work. She responded with a very loud, “Oh.” Yeah, she was close, all right. Observing her as she lost control under my hands was possibly the sexiest thing I’d ever seen.
I added in a bit of suction with one more finger for good measure. When I found exactly the right spot, she let me know. “I’m going to come.” And then she did exactly that. Her hands pressed down hard against my head as she pulsed around my fingers. I continued rubbing the magic spot inside her until she finished, finally releasing my head.
“Oh shit, sorry,” she said oddly as I moved up her body, frowning at her.
“You’re sorry for giving me the most incredible show I’ve ever seen?” I questioned her, not understanding what she was talking about.
She blushed, covering her eyes with her arm. “No, I lost control there for a minute. I hope I didn’t hurt you.” She peeked underneath her arm, waiting for my response. Hurt me? Was she nuts?
I nudged her arm away from her blushing face. “That was sexy as hell. I love when you lose control under my hands. It means I make you comfortable enough to let go. And that is extremely hot.” I bent forward to kiss her neck as she wrapped her arms around me. It felt good to be pressed up against her hot naked body again.
“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” she asked while I continued to kiss her neck. The question was so ludicrous, my body started to shake at the absurdity of it.
“No, you didn’t hurt me. Quite the opposite, actually. I now have a very large problem of my own.” I ground myself against her stomach, giving her more than a hint of what my problem was.
“I’m a great problem solver. In fact, the bigger, the better.” She giggled, the sound making me harder. I stood up and removed my clothing in record time.
“Really? I didn’t know about that. This is a pretty large problem. I’m not sure you can handle all of it,” I said, lowering myself on top of her.
“Hmm, well the only way to know for sure is to let me use my skills and get to work,” she said as she reached down, guiding me inside her. We both moaned at the same time as I entered her searing heat.
“Fuck, I missed you,” I said right before I started to move.
It turned out, she was in fact a great problem solver, just like she said.
22
Vivienne
“We should talk about what you said.” Jason kissed the top of my head as he ran his fingers up and down my arm.
I lifted my head up from his chest. “Dirty talk? You don’t like it?” I asked him, confused because he seemed to enjoy any sexy talk that came out of my mouth.
He laughed, his chest moving up and down. “We can definitely discuss that later,” he said, one hand behind my head, dragging me toward him for a kiss. His lips touched mine in between his laughter. “I meant what you said about falling in love with me.”
Oh shit. Embarrassment seized my brain, my body. I dropped my head to his chest, hoping for the world to disappear. “You weren’t supposed to hear that. I was pissed and I forgot you were in the room for a second, and…”
“Vivienne, chill out. I liked what you said.” His warm, comforting hand grazed my back, traveling down to my ass.
“You did?” My voice muffled from speaking into his body. He started laughing again, causing me
to sink lower onto him in mortification.
“Would you look at me?”
“No.” I shook my head, still unwilling to face the music of what he’d overheard.
“Vivienne, come on,” he said, lifting my head until we were eye to eye. He really was beautiful to look at. The man should be in movies. The heat from my face soon spread down my body.
“I feel the same way. Fuck, I felt the same way the first night we spent together. Before you kicked my ass to the curb, that is.”
My lungs filled back up with air. “What?”
His fingers caressed the side of my face, putting the fallen hair behind my ear. “Yeah. I felt a connection between us immediately. Obviously, you didn’t. There’s something between us that I’d like to explore. I’ve never felt this way about someone I just met.” Relief flooded my entire being at his words. “I’m falling in love with you, too.”
My heart nearly burst. Thank God he felt the same way. “You are?” I asked, barely able to mumble out those two words.
“Yeah. Definitely,” he said, searching my face continually with his sparkling blue eyes. Both hands on my head, he pulled me in for a deep, wet kiss. His tongue slid in, showing me exactly how true his words were. Desire surged to my lower abdomen, arousing the burn all over again.
As comfortable as I was in his arms, a nagging pang of guilt wouldn’t let go. My stomach churned, thinking about the conversation I knew we needed to have. Now.
Was it too early? Yeah. Was it absolutely the most important thing in my life that I had to tell him? Yeah.
Jason deserved the truth. I just didn’t want to give it to him.
“We need to talk,” I said, breaking our kiss. His eyes shone back with happiness. Guilt crashed down on me for what I was about to say. One sentence and this could all be ruined.
“How about we talk later and kiss more now?” A sexy grin spread over his face, then he leaned in to take my mouth again.
Regrettably, I moved back. “I’m serious.”
He sighed, falling on his pillow. “Shoot,” he said, trailing his fingers down my arm.
I sat up, wrapping the bed sheet around me, steadying myself with as much gumption as I could possibly muster. “I’m going to have a baby.”
His eyes wide as saucers, he bolted up. “What? When?” he asked, breathless, obviously thinking the wrong thing.
The look on his face was so funny, I burst out laughing. “I don’t know yet. But I’m going to have one. The doctors aren’t exactly optimistic, but I’m determined,” I answered him, shaking my head.
He reached out, holding onto my arm with a death grip. “Are you pregnant or not?”
“Not.”
A loud, roaring exhale came out as he flopped back on the bed, covering his eyes. “Fuck, you scared the shit out of me.”
“I’m going to have a baby. I need to have a baby.”
Underneath his arm, he peered at me. “What are you talking about?”
“My boss Dean said I should tell you right away. I thought I’d wait a bit. Then Jared messed everything up. Well, I guess that was mostly my fault—”
“Vivienne, cut the rambling,” he said, sitting back up, staring at me.
“I’m thirty-seven.”
“Okay,” he replied, frowning at me like I was an idiot.
“I want to have a baby. There’s not much time left before I’m out of eggs.”
“Jesus.”
“I’ve got some…lady issues. Endometriosis. My doctors have been putting me through a bunch of tests the last six months. They said it’s ‘highly unlikely’ I can get pregnant naturally, so they gave me some options to choose from.”
“Options,” he repeated, seemingly unable to utter more than one word at a time.
“Artificial insemination is the first one.”
“Jesus.”
“They take the sperm and then—” I began, but he cut me off.
“I know what it is.”
“That’s first on the agenda. Then they said—”
“Stop,” he urged, shaking my arm. “What exactly are you trying to tell me? You’re going to do this while I sit back and watch them inseminate you with some other guy’s sperm? Fuck. That’s messed up.”
“I don’t know what I’m trying to tell you, except the truth. I’m out of time. More than likely, I was out of time a few years ago. Nothing in this world would make me happier than starting a family. There’s this obsessive voice inside that constantly thinks about babies.
“That’s why I bought my house, you know? To find a husband and fill it up with kids. It seemed like the perfect place to raise a big family.”
“So, you’re breaking up with me to go have babies with some sperm donor?”
“I’m not breaking up with you. That’s something you need to decide. I’m just telling you what I’m doing.”
“And I have no say in this?”
I sighed out of frustration. Guess I wasn’t getting my point across. “You don’t get it. I’ve made my decision. I’m doing this. What I need to know from you is, are you interested in sticking around?”
“We’ve been on two dates. Actually, I’m not sure they even qualify as dates now that I think about it.”
“I’m out of time.” My teary eyes locked onto his, sadness gripping my soul. I’d scared him away. He looked stunned, like a deer caught in headlights.
“I’ve known you for like five minutes. How can you even ask me something like that?”
“Don’t you think I wish I’d met you earlier?”
“This is crazy.” He looked down at the covers for a long moment. “Even if we did know each other better, I make crap money. If I had a family now, I’d have to go back to a job I hate in order to support them. My writing is what I’m focused on right now. Not having babies. Christ, I’m only twenty-five.”
Whoosh went whatever breath I had in my lungs. A sharp spike drove through my heart, causing insufferable pain.
One thing sales taught me—never let them see you sweat. “I have money. Quite a bit of it, actually. I have a great job with benefits.” My eyes found his. “What I don’t have is someone to have a baby with.”
“We hardly know each other. If I’m reading you right, I can’t possibly do what you’re suggesting. Who would after only knowing someone for so short a time?” He got out of bed, grabbing his jeans, furiously yanking them on. “This is fucking crazy.”
I wanted to run out of here so I could go home and cry. A profound regret consumed me. Damn my age and this unstoppable biological clock. A few tears fell down my face. I refused to give up, so I wiped my eyes, taking a few deep breaths.
Think, Vivienne. Use your superpowers to make this sexy man settle down enough to listen. While I tossed around ideas in my head, I decided to get dressed as well. Although, negotiating in the nude probably had more benefits in the long run.
After I was decent, I moseyed into the kitchen. Jason had his back to me as he stood at the sink. “I don’t want to lose you. I just found you.”
He glanced over his shoulder at me. “Me either. I just don’t see a way this works out for both of us.”
“We negotiate.”
Turning around, he raked his eyes over me like he was trying to figure me out. “We negotiate?”
“Yeah, I do this all day. I bring my stuff to the table. You bring yours.”
“I’m so fucking poor, I don’t have a table.”
“Figuratively speaking then,” I said, clearing my throat. “I want to start a family.”
“Yeah, I got that,” he said, leaning back against the counter.
“What do you want?”
“You.”
“For how long?”
“For—long.” He sighed, shifting his weight.
“How long? How long until you’d feel you could reasonably decide if you wanted a baby with me?”
“Exactly how do I answer that? I’ve never wanted a baby. Who knows if I’ll ever want a baby?”
“A week?”
He let out an angry, forced laugh. “That’s definitely too soon.”
“A month?”
“This is ridiculous,” he announced, pushing away from the counter.
“Listen, I want you, too. But I’ve got an expiration date. Well, my eggs do. You have youth on your side. I don’t. The longest I’d be willing to give this—us—is two months. After that, I’ll need an answer.” There. My final offer. The ball was in his court now. “Every month I wait makes things more difficult. Becoming a parent is a big deal. The biggest. If you’re not even willing to consider it, I understand. You’re young. You’d have no problem finding a younger woman in the future and starting a family. I don’t have the same luxury.”
“I agree to two months, or we’re done?”
It’s all in how you word it. This was the most important sale of my life. “You give me two months to prove to you that this can work. If after that time you don’t agree, you go on your way.” And I’d die a slow, painful death.
“You understand how crazy this sounds, right? It’s not just me?”
“I’m out of time, Jason. Do you know how much I’ve regretted kicking you out after our first night together all those months ago?”
A sneaky grin formed at the corner of his perfect mouth. Finally, I was getting through. “I knew you would.”
I crept closer to him, getting right in his space. He sighed, reaching to pull me into his warm body. His strong arms wrapped around me while I snuggled into him. “I don’t know what to do,” he said into my hair. The mixture of his woodsy scent and musk made me dig in closer. I kissed his neck, tasting salt from his exertions.
“You think I do?” I said, leaning back to look him in the eyes.
“I think you know exactly what you want and how to get it, yeah.”
How I’d managed to keep myself together this long was a miracle. Tears formed, falling on their own accord. “It…” I sniffed, “might not happen for me. I’ve wanted kids forever. It was always in the back of my mind as I worked and worked and fucking worked.” A sob tore out. “I spent so much time building up my career. Mr. Right never showed up. Not that I didn’t try, because I did.” He held me tighter while I cried into his chest, his arms holding me together as I broke apart.