by Jessa York
“Things have been good, right?” Harper asked quietly, shoving my leg.
The smile that crossed my face was unavoidable. “Things are great.”
Suddenly there was a knock on the door. Riley jumped up like a shot outta hell, opening the door.
Jack poked his head in. “Everyone good in here? We’re starved of female attention. Why don’t you ladies come back in and join us?” Jack had a way about him that made you want to do whatever he suggested. I knew this because of our business dealings with each other. Being who I was, it had no effect on me. Well, not much anyway.
Harper was not quite as immune to his charms as I was, so she bolted right up, grinning like a lovesick fool. Damn, I was happy for her.
“Why don’t you buy your girl a big house that can fit all of us in one room without sitting like sardines?” Audrey stood up, giving him attitude. His charms might work on her, but she’d never let him know.
“I’d love to, Audrey. How about you help me convince her?” His head nodded in Harper’s direction.
“You got it. I’ll make it my new purpose in life,” she said to Jack, putting her hands on her hips, turning to Harper. “Girlfriend, we need to talk.”
Harper countered back, looking rather affronted, “This place is not that small. Some people live in cardboard boxes.”
“Yeah, and they have more room to entertain than you do,” Audrey blurted.
“Whatever.” Harper glared at Audrey, then gave Jack the evil eye as she brushed passed him in the doorway. Uh-oh.
Later that evening in bed, Jason asked, “You really want that in your life?”
No idea what he was talking about, I rose up on my arm, off his chest. “Want what?”
“Kids? Those boys tonight were rambunctious to say the least. It took all of us men in the living room to make sure they didn’t break shit or kill themselves.”
He wasn’t trying to be mean. I saw that in his eyes. Still, his words stung. “Not all kids are like that. Audrey got two at once. I’m not going to judge.”
“I was reading, and it said that if you take fertility drugs, your chances of multiples increases. Actually, at your age, more than one baby is a big risk.”
It wasn’t something to smile at. I knew that. The fact he’d been informing himself about this gave me some hope. “I would love to have twins. They’d always have someone around to play with.”
“And to fight with,” he said.
“And to fight with. And to have birthday parties with, have fun with, go on adventures with. Sounds pretty awesome to me.” He stared at me like I’d grown two heads. “I’ve been waiting forever for this. More to love would be a blessing, not a curse. Completely worth the risk to me.”
I lay my head back on his chest. “Have you thought of it any more? If you want to be the donor or not?” No matter how much I wanted to see his face, the possibility of disappointment was too great. Something I wasn’t ready to look head-on into.
“You sure you want me to be the donor?” he asked, nudging my head off his chest.
Two weeks ago, my answer was different. But right now, I knew exactly what to say. “Yeah, I’m sure.”
“You’re crazy, woman. Shut the lamp off. Some of us have to be up early.”
I reached over, snagging the lamp switch.
He was quiet. I could tell from his breathing he wasn’t relaxed enough for sleep yet. We lay there, just holding each other for a while before he sighed. “It’s a big commitment, Vivienne. I still have six weeks.” Ugh, tell me about it. The guillotine of time hung forever over our heads, unwavering, unmoving.
“Just asking,” I said, kissing his chest before I settled in to sleep.
My last thought of the night was always the same—it had been for years. In my mind’s eye, I imagined holding a sweet baby wrapped in a pink blanket. Wriggly fingers and toes, me laughing as she gripped my finger with her itty-bitty fist.
24
Jason
“Fuck,” I swore under my breath as I pulled over to the side of the road. This car was going to be the death of me. The spurts and sputters it made couldn’t be good. If I wasn’t able to get it running on my own, the little bastard was going to rot on the highway. I had exactly no money left to get it moving again after the last costly repair.
Thank God it still had enough power left to get safely out of traffic and onto the shoulder. I popped the hood, hoping for the best. Watching for cars, I jumped out to see what disaster awaited me.
Thirty minutes and every trick known to mankind later, nothing. Not so much as a spark of life left in it. What was I going to do? Just as I was about to call a tow truck, my phone went off. It was Vivienne.
“Hey, babe, bad timing. What’s up?” I said into the phone, barely able to hear her for the noise of the cars zooming past.
“Where are you? Are you okay?”
I exhaled, then told her about my predicament.
“Hold tight. Let me make a quick call. Don’t contact a tow truck yet. Wait for me. I’ll be there in ten minutes,” she said, hanging up the phone.
Hold tight. Funny. What the fuck else was I going to do? I slammed the hood back down with as much force as I possibly could. Nope. Didn’t feel any better. Resigned, I slid back into the car to wait for my girlfriend.
“Oh, Christ, you did a good job on this bad boy,” the tow truck operator said as he hemmed and hawed under the hood. Nice. “I’ll take it down to the shop, but just sayin’. This looks nasty as shit.” His coveralls couldn’t have been any greasier I noted as he wiped his grimy hands on them again.
“You can just drop it off at my apartment. I’ll give you the address.” There was no sense taking it to a shop to get it fixed when I couldn’t pay.
“Len, give us a minute?” Vivienne asked the guy. He shrugged, walking back to his truck.
“I know these guys. Let them take care of it. We do business with the owner’s sister. She owns a few stores in town. They’re honest, hardworking people.”
“I’m sure they are, honey. My bank account is pretty fuckin’ lean right now. There’s no possible way I can afford a huge repair like this.”
“You don’t know that for sure. Yet. They’ll look at it for no cost, and then you can tell them what you want them to do.”
“There was smoke coming out of the engine. It isn’t going to be good.”
She pursed her lips together like she was plotting. “I’ll pay for it.”
I let out a huge laugh. “No, you fucking won’t.”
Her face changed as she stared at me. “Okay, meet me in my car. I’ll chat with Len for a minute,” she said, chucking her keys to me as she waltzed right past.
She was obviously pissed. About what I had no idea. This was my problem, not hers. I shook my head, took the keys—along with my bruised ego—to Vivienne’s vehicle, and waited for her there.
“Would you two like anything else?” our server asked us.
“No, we’re good, thanks,” Vivienne said, placing our cutlery on the dirty plates for him to carry away.
“I’ll meet you in the car after I pay,” I said, grabbing her arm. We had gone out for supper, much to my objection. The last thing a broke person should be doing is paying for someone else to cook for them.
“Uh, I paid already. We can just go.” Vivienne smiled up at me, ready to take off.
“Hey, hey, what are you talking about?” I asked, holding onto her arm with a firmer grasp.
“I paid already.”
“When? Our server didn’t even bring the check yet?” I said, confused.
“After I went to the bathroom. It’s no biggie. Let’s take off.”
Shocked, I let go of her and followed her out. What the fuck? She paid for me on the sly? Yeah, that was hardly emasculating at all.
I waited until we got into the car to discuss it with her. “Look, I appreciate the thought, but I wanted to pay for supper.”
“So did I,” she said, buckling up before pulling
out of the parking spot.
“You don’t seem to understand what I’m saying.”
“I do. I wanted to go out. I should be the one who pays.”
“See, that’s not all right with me.”
“Because you’re the man?” she asked, tilting her head at me. “I guess you didn’t understand that I also have a job and can more than afford to pay for supper.” She huffed, putting her small hand on my leg. “Look, it was getting late. I’m tired and there’s no way I want to spend an hour in the kitchen cooking after the day I had. All I want to do is go home, get naked with you, and forget that some men are idiots.”
Huh. Couldn’t argue with that.
We drove for a bit, then Vivienne took a detour from the way home. “Where are we going?” I asked, hating not being in control of the vehicle. Her ride was fantastic: leather seats, all the extras. Way nicer than my car.
“One quick stop. Hope you don’t mind? There’s a sale going on that I forgot about until just now.” I knew exactly where she was taking us. My woman had an addiction for baby stores.
Whenever and however her kid decided to come into this world, he or she was going to have every possible luxury imaginable.
“You coming in?” she asked like she always did. I’d never gone in yet.
“Why not?” I muttered, bolting out of the SUV. Holding the door to the store open for Vivienne, she stopped to beam the cutest smile ever at me. I shook my head, grinning back.
Good Christ. It looked like someone threw up pink and blue all over the store. Women in different stages of pregnancy roamed around, helpers in tow.
“Oh my, what do you think of this?” she asked me, holding up a picture of a yellow bear.
“Um, you know babies can’t see farther than eight to twelve inches, right? What sense does it make to buy all of this stuff when the child won’t even be able to see it?” I asked, always the logical one.
Apparently, it was the wrong thing to say. “I can see farther than twelve inches, so it makes sense to me.” She frowned at me, carrying the picture around with her.
“Give it to me. I’ll hold it so you have more hands to find more shit.”
“Shhh, don’t swear in a baby store,” she said, her head swiveling around nervously as though we were about to get kicked out for foul language.
“Pretty sure babies don’t understand words either.” I shut up after the glare she sent me.
“Need some help over here, folks?” An associate greeted us. I was about to say no when Vivienne cut in with a list of things she had to have for a baby who didn’t even exist.
“Can you explain to me how a seven pound baby needs all this shit?” I asked as I tried again to stuff everything she’d bought into the back of her SUV. Praying the third time was the charm, I shoved the hatch down. Success.
“Babies need different stuff than we do. They’re cute and small, so they need cute, small things.”
“So many cute, small things, though?” I asked, hopping into the passenger side door.
“Yeah.”
Fuck, she was cute. Completely obsessed with nesting for a baby she wanted so deeply. I still didn’t know why I was here. What difference was six more weeks going to make? Other than make me even more devastated when we went our separate ways.
Was I suddenly going to be a successful writer in six weeks? Would money fall from Heaven so I could provide for a family I didn’t even know if I wanted?
Why was I still here? Just like Vivienne was addicted to baby stores, I was addicted to Vivienne. Her smell, her skin, the way her soft, wet pussy took my cock inside her like she’d never had better. I knew that last one for a fact because she’d told me several times with that dirty mouth of hers.
Everything about that woman was perfect for me, except her overwhelming desire to have a baby. Yes, it was a rather large issue to disagree on. I knew that. Every time I decided to call it quits, the dread inside stopped me. The thought of losing her made me physically ill.
When I was with her, everything was so fucking easy, so fun, like it had never been with anyone else. Being with Vivienne was as natural as breathing.
Could I do this? Could I jerk off into some plastic cup to start a family with a woman I hardly knew? If not, was I willing to lose her forever to some noisy, clingy kid?
25
Vivienne
It was way-too-early-o’clock. That’s all I knew.
“I gotta go. Give me a kiss,” someone said. The confident, loving, sexy way it was said, you’d think I’d know who it was. Nobody existed at this hour of the morning. I sat up quickly in bed, startled.
“Ow!”
“Fuck, what’d you do that for?” my hot lover swore, rubbing his head. I’d clonked him hard during my panic.
“Oh shit, sorry. Ever since I stayed at your place, I’ve been jumpy,” I told him as I held my skull, not quite seeing stars, but close.
He sighed, putting his hand behind my head and looking at me, checking me over. “You okay?” I was now. Man, he was handsome. I reached up, touching the light scruff on his face, caressing him. He grabbed my hand before I got to touch anything else good.
“I have to get home. Give me a kiss,” he said. I smiled, leaning farther forward. Unfortunately, he kissed me chastely, so I tried my best to turn it into something more. I pulled him with me as I lay back down onto the bed with him on top of me, and we made out like that for a minute until he stopped it.
“I’d love to stay and finish this, but I really have to start my day,” he murmured against my lips. Damn. “Go back to sleep.” He kissed me close-mouthed and then stood up to leave.
“Party pooper,” I called to him as he strode toward the door of my bedroom. He turned, grinning his sexy smile.
“Oh, I’ll get up and drive you.” I suddenly remembered his vehicle predicament.
“My bike is still here in your garage, remember? I’m good,” he said before disappearing into the hallway.
This had been our dance nearly every morning since we got back together, minus the cracking heads part. In all honesty, I was kind of done with it already even though it’d only been a couple of weeks. Of course, we had stayed at his place a few times, but I’d be lying if I said I felt comfortable there. His apartment scared the crap out of me.
At least when we stayed at his place, he could just mosey on over to his laptop and not wake me up. If I did hear him get up, the sound of his keyboard always lulled me back to sleep. Speaking of sleep, I needed more.
With nothing fun left to do at this ungodly hour, I rolled over in my very comfortable bed, grabbed his pillow, pulled it into me, and sniffed it. Mmm, it still smelled like him. There I fell asleep, surrounded by soft, luxurious sheets and the smell of the man I was in love with.
Jason: You up?
My phone bleeped as I was making a to-go coffee mug. I smiled. It made my heart squeeze to know he was thinking of me, worried I wouldn’t be up on time for work. It wasn’t unusual. He did it every workday. But still, I loved it.
I picked up my phone, quickly typing back.
Me: Yep, just leaving. Thanks for checking.
Picking up my coffee, I started to head out when my phone pinged again.
Jason: Any idea where my car is?
Shit.
Me: I kind of told them to take a look at it.
Jason: After I said not to?
Me: Yes.
Jason: We’ll talk about this later. Have a good day.
Me: You too.
Oopsie. What were the chances he’d forget about this before tonight? Not much.
People milled about on my street. I waved to a couple of neighbors who left at the same time I did. In another half hour or so, the road would be nearly devoid of cars.
Traffic wasn’t too bad, so I made it to the office quickly. Had I known a greeting committee was waiting for me, I would have rethought my punctuality.
Before I even opened the door, I could hear the yelling and screaming. It
was familiar, so I also wasn’t alarmed. “Get your tiny behinds over here this instant. Just wait until I tell your father what you little terrors did today. We’ve only been here five minutes and you’re already breaking stuff,” Audrey hollered at her boys, who were in fact being little terrors. Again. One of them carried the plastic paper holder for the copier, looking mighty guilty. Harper just sat there sweetly, arms outstretched, inviting the little hooligan to come to her. Auntie Harper would save him from his mean mommy like she always did. She had the maternal gene if there ever was one. Audrey? Not so much. But who was I to judge? If I had to look after those two all day, maybe I’d be as nuts as her, too.
“Give it to me, buddy. I’ll fix it,” Harper said. Hooligan number one handed over the broken piece, then Harper hugged him tight. He put his sweet little thief arms around her neck and hugged her right back.
“Yeah, you better stay over there with Auntie Harper,” Audrey said, pointing to the young offender while hooligan number two watched on with big eyes, not knowing what to do.
“Looks like I’m missing all the fun.” I broke the tension of the moment, all eyes coming to me.
“Oh, I don’t know about that. I’d bet my bottom dollar that you were just having a whole lot more fun than we were.” Audrey laughed, hitting her leg. Oh boy. Looked like I was the focus of attention now, instead of the future juvie offenders.
“Uh-huh. Not so much. He starts his day pretty darn early. Too early, if you know what I mean.” I raised my eyebrows, trying to keep the conversation PG.
“Never too early for that, let me tell you. Once you have kids, you need to adjust to finding time whenever you can. Sometimes early makes more sense than late after you’re dead tired from chasing kids around all day.”
“You never chase us. All you do is sit,” Hooligan number one felt confident saying, still safe in his auntie’s arms. Harper chuckled as Audrey looked beside herself.