“Okay, okay. Calm down, you psycho.” I held my hand out in front of me even though she couldn’t see it. Mom wasn’t a violent kind of person. She’d told me about her past and the violence she’d had at the hands of someone who was meant to love her, but she still hated it as much as she did back then. Unless it was someone she loved. Then I could imagine she’d kill for them. Mom was protective, but that was nothing compared to Dad. And I couldn’t help but think about what they’d do if they found out Ford and I had slept together. One of their friends, part of the family, and we’d crossed a line I wasn’t sure we could ever come back from. I shook my head and tried to focus on the here and now, even though Ford was literally inches away from me.
“We all know what a badass you are, Mom.” I closed my eyes and tried not to think about last night and how frightened I was. “I’m sure it won’t happen again.”
“But what if it does? I’m terrified, Belle.” I could hear the shakiness in her voice, something I’d only heard a couple of times. “You shouldn’t have to be worrying about this. All you should be thinking about are boys, studies, and parties.”
I smirked as Ford pulled up in a parking spot outside the building my first class was in. “In that order?”
“Well, maybe studies, boys, and then parties.”
I tilted my head to the side, glad we weren’t talking about the events that had taken place last night and that my mind was overthinking what had happened after it. “So not parties, boys, and then studies?”
“Hmmm, it’s a tough one, sweetie. I think you need parties before boys so you can meet boys at parties but—”
“The hell you talking about parties for?” Dad’s booming voice came over the line, and I winced, knowing there was no way I was going to get away without speaking to him.
“What? I’m not,” Mom said, her voice high-pitched. “I’m—”
“Who are you talking to?” Dad asked, and he was even closer now.
“Belle.” There was some shuffling and a grunt, and then Mom shouted, “Hey, give me that back!”
“Belle?” Dad asked, and I imagined he’d taken the cell off Mom.
“Hey, Dad.” I looked at Ford, but he was staring out of the windshield, his hands gripping the steering wheel like it was his lifeline.
“You should come home,” Dad ordered, brooking no room for an argument, but I wasn’t going to bow down to him.
“We’ve been through this, Dad.” My head dropped back, and I stared at the ceiling of the car. “There’s only a couple of weeks until spring break. I’ll be fine until then, at least.” I didn’t want to think about how slow the time from now until then would go. I wouldn’t admit to any of them how scared I was because I knew the moment I did, there wouldn’t be any turning back. They’d shoot down my need to stay at college and take over, but that wasn’t what I needed. I needed to feel safe in my own home, and I wasn’t sure if that would ever happen again.
“I don’t like it, baby girl. You’re out there with only Ford and he can’t—”
“He’s doing his job, Dad.” I closed my eyes, and the image of Ford on top of me was the first thing I saw. That wasn’t his job, but damn if I didn’t want to relive it all over again. “Look, I’ve got to go. My class starts in five.”
His frustrated groan rang over the line, and I could imagine the muscle in his jaw ticking. “This conversation isn’t over, Belle.”
I opened my eyes and sat up straighter. “Okay.”
“I’ll call you later.” There was a pause, and then he continued, “Here, let me put your mom back on. She’s giving me a death stare.”
“Damn straight, I am. You’re using your height to best me.” There was a grunt and then a groan, and Mom said, “Serves you right, Brody. Now, what was I saying?”
I chuckled and shook my head. I missed living at home sometimes. “To go to parties and meet lots of boys?” My gaze swerved over to Ford, but I couldn’t look at his face, so concentrated on his knuckles as they turned white on the steering wheel.
“Ah, yes. That’s it.” Mom laughed. “Are you really okay, sweetie? I can come and stay with you; it’s no trouble.”
“Really, Mom, I’m good. Look, I gotta go to class. I’ll call you later?”
“Okay, sweetie. I love you so much.”
“Love you too, Mom.” I waited a beat until I ended the call, and then complete silence surrounded me.
I glanced up at the building my class was in, but not one part of me wanted to walk in there. Someone had tried to get me inside my own home, and I couldn’t help think how much easier it would be in a busy college. Maybe Dad was right. Maybe I should go home. But no, I couldn’t surrender. I just needed some time. I needed some space to think about what had happened and—
Ford started the engine, and I whipped my head around to face him. “What are you doing?”
He didn’t answer me for several seconds, not until he was pulling out of the lot and back on the road. “I’m taking you somewhere,” he gritted out, and I couldn’t tell if he was angry or frustrated.
“But I’ve got class—”
“And there’s no way you’re going to be able to concentrate.” He pulled up at a stoplight and looked at me. His hazel eyes were darker than usual, but it was the small smile he gave me that put me at ease. “Give yourself a day, sweetheart.” He reached out and grasped my hand, and brought it onto his lap. “You need to give yourself time to think everything over.” The light turned green, and he turned his attention back on the road, but he didn’t let go of my hand. “Besides, I have a surprise for you.”
“You do?” I asked, relaxing back in the seat and watching him. The farther we got from the college, the more he lowered into his seat and seemed to relax too.
“Yep.” He lifted our joined hands and placed a kiss on top of my knuckles, and that was all I needed to know he didn’t regret what happened this morning. He was showing me what he felt rather than telling me, and I was more than okay with that.
I grinned at him and closed my eyes, basking in the happiness surrounding me, even if it was only for a couple of minutes. At some stage, I must have fallen asleep, because Ford’s palm whispering over my cheek and his murmured, “We’re here, sweetheart,” woke me up.
My eyes fluttered open, and it took several seconds for me to take in my surroundings. “The shelter?” One side of my lips lifted, and butterflies took flight in my stomach. He knew how much I loved the animals here, so he’d brought me to the one place that would make me feel better.
Ford didn’t say anything as he pushed out of the car and checked around us, then opened up the passenger door. He took hold of my hand again and pulled me close to him, but bypassed the back entrance.
“What are you doing?” I asked, my brows furrowing. We never went in the front entrance.
“I have an appointment,” he said so casually it was as if he was telling me the sky was blue. I opened my mouth to tell him I was confused, but he opened the door and led me inside. It was like I was in an alternate universe as I saw Courtney behind the main desk. Courtney was the manager of the shelter, and I’d only met her a handful of times.
“Special Agent Ford,” Ford greeted her, holding his hand out, and my stomach dipped at the way he said his name and the deep tone he’d used. “I have an appointment.”
“Ah, yes…” Courtney fumbled with some paperwork, her gaze moving to mine and flitting away again before she realized who I was. “Belle?” she asked.
“Hey.” I wasn’t sure what else to say because I had no idea what was going on here in the slightest. I was an innocent bystander along for the ride.
Courtney stared at me for a beat and then moved her attention back to Ford. “She’s all ready for you. I wasn’t expecting you until later, though. When you called this morning, I must have misheard you—”
“No, you didn’t,” Ford interrupted and widened his stance. “There was a change of plans. Is that okay?”
Courtney nodde
d, way too many times to look normal. “No, no, it’s okay. I’ll just …erm…” She shuffled some papers. “I need you to sign these, and then the adoption will be finalized. Of course, as a law enforcement agent, there are a few other forms you need to fill in too.” She handed Ford the papers. “I’ll go and get her and the feeding leaflet.”
I stared at her as she moved into the back of the shelter and then looked over at Ford. He let my hand go and picked up the pen sitting on top of the papers and started to sign them without even looking.
“You should read those,” I told him.
“Already did.”
“Huh? When—”
“Last week.” He glanced at me, a smirk on his face. “It gets boring watching you sit at a computer when you’re on shift.”
“Hey! I do more than just sit at the computer.” I planted my hands on my hips. “I feed the dogs, I take them for walks, I play with them. I stroke the cats—”
“I know you do.” Ford placed the pen back on the counter and pushed the forms forward. “Damn, Belle. You look so goddamn sexy when you’re mad.” He stepped toward me, and I wanted to melt into him when his arm wrapped around my waist. “Fuck. You’ve got me tied up in knots over here.”
“Good.” I narrowed my eyes at him. “Now, tell me what is going on.”
“I’m adopting an animal,” he said and dipped down so his face was level with mine. “That okay with you?”
“I…you can’t have it at the apartment. I already told you, Justin is allergic—”
“Then Justin will just have to deal or not come around while I’m there.” His eyes flashed. “Got it?”
I swallowed and pressed closer to him, my hand moving from my hip to his chest as I whispered, “Got it.”
I lifted up on my tiptoes, our lips centimeters apart, but the sound of a bark had me stalling. My eyes widened as I dipped to the side and saw Lottie standing there next to Courtney. She didn’t pull on her leash to get to us, but I could tell she wanted to by the way she was standing with her weight forward.
“You…I…Ford, what…”
Ford spun around so he was looking in the same direction as me, his arm latching on to my waist. “Belle, I want you to meet my new dog, Lottie.”
Tears sprung to my eyes, and I couldn’t help but kneel on the floor and hold my arms open for her. Courtney let her go, and Lottie lunged for me, her tongue coming out and licking my face in excitement.
“You were just in time, too,” Courtney said as she moved back behind the counter. “There were only two weeks left until she’d have to be put—”
“I know,” Ford growled, cutting her off. “Is the paperwork in order?” he asked her, and even though I wanted to see what they were doing, I was too engrossed with getting doggy cuddles from Lottie. She was excited, more excited than I’d ever seen her, and it was then I realized what Ford had done.
He knew Lottie would have to be put down, so he’d saved her. He’d saved her because he knew how much she meant to me. He may have adopted her, but I had no doubt she would be just as much my dog as she was his. And he’d read the paperwork a week ago. That was after he’d told me us kissing was a mistake. It was after he’d let me believe he didn’t feel anything for me.
Ford always said actions spoke louder than words, and if this action was his way of saying sorry, he was forgiven entirely.
Chapter Ten
FORD
I stared at the screen of my laptop as I waited for the call from Brody. The footage from the cameras in the apartment was on my screen, and I couldn’t stop looking at Belle. She sat on the sofa in the living room with Lottie curled up on her feet, not willing to move even an inch away from her. They’d been like that from the moment we’d brought Lottie home from the shelter a few days ago. She was her shadow, and I had no idea how she’d act when we had to leave for classes or for one of Belle’s shifts.
So far, we’d stayed inside, only going out when Lottie needed walking. Belle said she was ready to go back to class, but I wasn’t prepared to put her at risk. The near break-in last week had put me on high alert—even more so than I already was. Not to mention what had happened afterward.
I’d let myself go. I’d taken what I’d wanted, and I didn’t have a single regret. Not that morning, or each morning after that as I woke up beside her, her body pressed against mine, and her coconut-scented hair in my face. We were living in a bubble, a bubble I knew wouldn’t last forever, but I was enjoying it while we were there.
My cell rang, the tone piercing the silence in the air, and I spotted Lottie’s ears perking up at the sound. Brody’s name flashed on the screen, so I clicked “answer call” and spoke through the speaker part of my headphones.
“Brody,” I greeted.
“Ford,” his gruff voice replied. “I have all the guys with me.” A chorus of greetings rang out, and I could imagine them all sitting in Brody’s office. Kyle was almost always on the sofa in there, and Ryan would definitely be next to the window with Jord not far from him leaning against a wall. They were predictable, too predictable sometimes.
“You got an update?” I asked, keeping my gaze fixed to the screen of my laptop as Belle stood and moved into the kitchen. She disappeared from one frame and then appeared in another. I’d installed more cameras since last week. The ones that were already there were fine, but I needed to ensure there wasn’t a single blind spot in or outside of the apartment.
“Trial started this morning,” Brody grunted. “DA thinks it won’t take more than two weeks.”
I frowned, sure I’d heard him wrong. Trials like this always took longer than that, unless they plea bargained. There’d only been one case in my entire career where the court proceedings had lasted less than fourteen days. “Two weeks?”
“Yep.” I heard some shuffling over the line. “We have a solid case, so it’s just a waiting game now. As soon as he’s sent down, Belle will be safe, and you can come home.”
Home. I wasn’t sure where home was anymore. When I was a teenager, home was with my mom. We may have lived on one of the roughest, poorest blocks in the neighborhood, but I never went without. Mom always said she was too good for the likes of the people around us, and she acted like that too. She’d stick her nose up in the air and ignore the people around her. It rubbed off on me in a way people didn’t like, and that was how I’d learned to defend myself. When people had an impression of you they didn’t like, they made it known any way possible, and for me, it was by older kids trying to bring me down a peg or two.
Right up until the day she died, I only fought back when I absolutely had to. And then the year I turned fifteen, she passed away suddenly, and from that point, I drifted from one place to another, becoming angrier and angrier by the day.
I wasn’t sure anywhere would feel like home. I hadn’t felt that for over twenty-five years. But as I watched Belle sit back on the sofa with a small smile on her face, I knew she gave me the sense of home. I felt at peace when she was near me, and my raging thoughts quieted when she touched me. She didn’t look at me like the monster I was inside. She didn’t see the invisible blood on my hands from the men I’d killed. She didn’t see the scars on my knuckles from the fights I’d both won and lost. She didn’t see any of that. She just saw Ford, the man who would protect her at any cost.
When I was away on jobs, Belle would be one of the first people I’d want to see afterward because she was the closest thing to family I had. But now…now I wasn’t sure. Half of my mind was stuck on how I’d seen her for her entire life, but the other half couldn’t stop thinking about the noises she made when we kissed, or the way her body felt pressed against mine.
I was at a crossroads, knowing I should have taken the left turn, but when it came to Belle, I would always take the right.
“Ford?” I shook my head at the sound of Brody’s voice. Fuck. I’d been thinking about his daughter while I was on a call with him, and that was the crux of this situation. Belle had me all out of sorts
, and I didn’t know where I was landing. She made me forget where I was, and that wasn’t good for anyone, not when people relied on me to be observant.
“Sorry,” I murmured, and I had no doubt they were all surprised. I never apologized…for anything. “What did you say?”
The silence stretched between us, and then he said, “Spring break. The lake house.” I closed my eyes as I thought about the plan for next week. The lake house was a tradition Brody and Lola had set up years ago, but I didn’t think they’d be doing it this year, not with everything that was going on. But maybe that was a reason to do it. We needed to come together and remember why we did what we did. “Asher, Lola, and I are going up on Thursday evening.”
I cleared my throat. “Belle has class Friday morning, but we’ll come up afterward. Should be there late evening.”
“Got it,” Brody grunted. “The rest of the guys are coming up Sunday.” Brody huffed over the line. “I need a break. I swear this case has aged me twenty years.”
I heard a snort, and then Kyle quipped, “Don’t blame that gray hair on the case, old man. It’s just your genes.”
“Fuck you, Ky,” Brody barked back, but there wasn’t anything behind it. These guys had worked together for over thirty years, and I’d been working with them for twenty. We had a banter most people didn’t understand. We had to find funny in situations that would destroy us otherwise. The job we did was shadowed in darkness, but we all needed light in our lives.
A grin spread on my face as I leaned back against the headboard of Belle’s bed. I was aware that things were moving at lightning speed, but I couldn’t help myself. I’d never given myself to anyone the way I did with Belle, and although that should have scared me, it didn’t. She was the light to my darkness, and I needed the light more and more as time went on.
Torn Bond: Bonded Duet: Book One Page 13