“I’ve noticed.” One of the reasons she was surprised when the little girl had asked Kendall to choose one for her. “She and Mandy Evans struck up a bit of a friendship at the bookstore, I think. You know, in case you ever need another babysitter for her.”
“Do you think I might need one again? Possibly to cover for a second date?” His thumb rubbed against the pulse in her wrist, making it difficult for her to breathe.
“Not sure. I’m not real great at this kind of thing.”
“Well, I’m having a lovely time.”
She ran a finger under the collar of the dress. Was it choking her? It felt as if she was being choked.
“You don’t think this is going well?” He inclined his head.
“Is it?”
“Why do you do that? Lower the bar so that no one can rise to it?” If he hadn’t continued to stroke her wrist, she might have thought he was upset.
“Low bar means no one gets ahead of themselves. Assumes too much. That everything will always be okay. This isn’t me, Hunter.” She forced herself to look around the rather elegant dining room. The crisp white tablecloths, the glass jars filled with votive candles floating on water atop sparkling stones. Flatware that wasn’t made of biodegradable plastic. Food cooked by a five-star celebrity chef. It was crowded but not packed, with more than half the tables filled with groups involved in relaxed conversation or couples needing no conversation at all. They all looked so happy. So normal. And she didn’t fit. Not one little bit. “But this is you.”
“Is that your way of saying we’re opposites, Kendall? Because guess what?” He leaned across the table and lowered his voice. “I already guessed that.”
“Don’t make light of this, Hunter.” Tonight was a turning point. For both of them. And if he didn’t see that...
“That’s exactly what we should do. Kendall, what’s wrong?”
“I don’t know. This just doesn’t feel right.” The excitement that had propelled her to Frankie’s house only hours ago had faded into a swirling dread-tinged doubt that threatened to drag her under. “I’m not sure this is a good idea. You and me. Us.”
“Dinner with an ocean view? A night off from bedtime stories and dishes? Me, sitting across from a beautiful woman who clearly has no idea how I feel about her.”
Oh, she knew. Or at least, she suspected. That was part of the problem.
“Hunter—”
“How was everything?”
Kendall jumped at the intrusion of the young woman who popped up at their table, her long, dark curly hair pulled into a knot at the back of her neck. Her sous chef’s jacket was black, the smile on her face conveyed warmth and friendship.
“Hi, Alethea.” Kendall snatched her hand back to hide in her lap. “You can definitely send our compliments to the chef. Oh, Alethea, this is Hunter MacBride. Hunter, Alethea Costas. She’s Xander’s sister.”
“Guilty as charged,” Alethea said with a laugh. “I heard the ribbon cutting went great.”
“It had its moments,” Hunter said without missing a beat. But he did shoot Kendall a look that let her know their conversation was not over. “I’m sure the feature in this weekend’s paper will be entertaining for a lot of people. I was wondering if there’s any chance I could get a look at the kitchen.”
Kendall couldn’t help it. Her lips twitched. He really had enjoyed his meal here.
“Sure.” Alethea picked up the last of their plates. “Give me a few minutes to get caught up with clearing, and I’ll let Jason know. Be right back.”
“Should I leave you two alone?” Kendall teased. “You and Jason.”
Hunter looked confused for a moment. “Oh. I guess I am coming off as a bit of a fanatic, aren’t I? Juliana and I used to watch him and his brother on TV together. Growing up we could never agree on anything, but as adults, we found we both loved cooking shows. Being here, eating in his restaurant, it brings back some nice memories.”
She should have kept her mouth shut. Something she could only identify as envy pricked at her heart. He’d lost his sister such a short time ago and he could already smile when he thought of her, and yet here Kendall was, years after her own loss, still trying to climb out of the despair.
“Does embracing what she loved help?”
“It does.” She could tell with a mere look that Hunter understood exactly why she’d asked. “There’s no time frame on grieving, Kendall. We move on when we can. I didn’t have a choice, not when I had Phoebe to think of, to focus on. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have my moments. It does help, however, to have someone to share those memories with. And you can share with me. Anytime you want to talk about Sam, I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”
“You aren’t, are you.” The statement came out a whisper, almost like a prayer. Was that what was holding her back? Was she worried that if she held on too tight, he and Phoebe would disappear? How could she have spent her adult life fighting against so much and yet find herself cowering at the thought of opening her heart again? “I don’t want to feel this way, Hunter.”
“What way?”
Someone else might have been searching for the closest exit. But Kendall sat stone still in her chair, her hands clenched into fists so tight she’d lost feeling in her fingers. “I don’t want to be scared anymore. But there’s so much about me that’s wrong. I’ve made some breakthroughs since coming here and...meeting you and Phoebe. But I’m still not sure I have any place near or around you two.” It hurt to be so honest, but he and Phoebe deserved that from her if nothing else. “This isn’t great first-date talk, I know, but maybe it’s best—”
“Maybe it’s best if you give yourself a break.” Hunter leaned his arms on the table. “Kendall, none of us is perfect. We all have a past, and we all have problems. Pretending like we don’t is more damaging than admitting to them.”
“You should try your hand at greeting cards.”
“I’m not going to lie to you, Kendall. I have feelings for you. Feelings that, in all honesty, I’ve been waiting most of my life to have, and I don’t want to walk away from them without seeing where they might go. What you see as faults, I see as strengths.”
Didn’t he understand? Didn’t he see? “But Phoebe—”
“Who better for Phoebe to learn from than a woman who’s been through hell and come out the other side? I hate to break it to you, but she already loves you. It wasn’t just me she ran to tonight when she got scared. She ran to you, too. And you didn’t falter. You didn’t run away. You did what you always do. You stood. And you helped her face her fear. What more could anyone want in a role model?”
“I’m not a role model,” Kendall said with a disapproving frown. “I think maybe your love of words is beginning to overtake your brain.”
“And I think maybe it’s time you realize that how you see yourself isn’t how others see you.” He stood up and walked around the table, bent down and pressed his lips against hers. Just for a moment, a brief, wonderful moment that chipped away at the remaining doubt and fear. “Let’s take this a day at a time, okay? For now, let’s just do that.”
Kendall nodded, because any hope of words vanished under the emotions battling for control inside her. She wanted to believe a future with Hunter and Phoebe was possible.
But she also knew from experience, the moment she stepped into that new life, it would be pulled out from under her.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
“THOSE CAVES ARE INCREDIBLE!” Hunter emerged from the opening at the shoreline damp with salty seawater and chilled to the bone, but both his soul and his camera were happy.
“They are when it isn’t high tide,” Fletcher told him as he tossed him one of the towels he’d brought. “And no, I won’t bring you back to explore again then.”
Hunter chuckled. “It’s like you can read my mind. Maybe Charlie could play tour guide
?”
“Over my dead body.” Fletcher leaned over to look around the expansive outcropping of rocks to where Charlie and Phoebe were playing in the sand with Tabitha. “Most terrifying day of my life was when she’d gone missing and I had to go in there to rescue her. And believe me, that’s saying something.”
“If my notes are correct, you and your sister weren’t born here, right?” Hunter wiped off his camera and stashed it into his bag.
“Lori and I came to live with our grandfather when we were pretty young. There were family issues.” Fletcher shrugged as if trying to brush the memory aside yet didn’t quite manage. “But there’s something about this place. It heals you in ways you never expect.”
“That I understand.” It seemed odd to think or even say, but even as someone who had traveled the world, there were few places that brought him as much peace as Butterfly Harbor. “I’d really like to get the take on this town from people who have lived here the longest. I was thinking about maybe having a barbecue at the lighthouse, just an occasion for people to talk about the changes over the years, what Butterfly Harbor means to them. Do you think people would be interested?”
“Will there be beer?” Fletcher led the way back to the beach.
“What would a barbecue be without beer?”
“You do have the right attitude about that. I can help you make up a list, but maybe you’d best run it past Kendall first? She’s pretty determined to get the lighthouse finished, and a big party might just get in her way.”
“Good idea.” Then again, a big party might go a long way in showing Kendall just how much people in this town had come to rely on her. And like her. He’d never met anyone in such a crisis of faith—both in herself and in her ability to exist in this world. “Hey, kiddo.” Hunter held out his hand for Phoebe who raced over to him. “You done with your sandcastle? We should probably get you home—What?” He bent down when she crooked her finger at him. “What’s going on?”
Phoebe grabbed his hand and dragged him to the sand, where she drew him a picture. When she was done, she turned expectant eyes on him. “See?”
“I’m going to need a bit more help, Phoebs.” He dropped a hand on the back of her head and looked to Fletcher for an answer, but the deputy only shrugged. “Is this a building of some kind?”
“It’s a school!” Charlie bounded over, looking as if she’d buried herself in half the beach. “Phoebe wants to go to school.”
Phoebe nodded and pointed to the building.
“What? Really? Are you sure?” The weight that had been pressing down on him for the last seven months released. “Why the—Wait. Never mind. I’m not going to argue with you. You’re sure?”
After only the slightest hesitation, Phoebe nodded again and pointed to Fletcher as she stood back up.
“She didn’t want to go back because she was afraid the men in uniforms would come and take her away. That she’d never see you again.” Charlie slung an arm around Phoebe’s shoulders. “But now that she’s met the sheriff and all the deputies, she knows my dad would never let that happen. Right, Dad?”
“Absolutely,” Fletcher said, his chest puffing with fatherly pride. “We would never do anything to scare you, Phoebe.”
“So, um, school.” Hunter scrubbed a hand across his cheek. “Okay. I can do this.” He looked to Fletcher. “How do I do this?”
“Simple.” Fletcher headed up the beach. “Follow me, I know where the school is.”
They all laughed.
* * *
“DO WE HAVE a surprise for you!”
Kendall spun on the scaffold, a paint roller in her hand, and looked down at Hunter and Phoebe, both grinning up at her like loons. “I keep forgetting to put bells around your necks.” Shaking off the jitters that still refused to leave her, she swiped the roller over the last patch of spackle and sighed. “I have my own surprise. It’s done.” She leaned back, just a little too far, to give Hunter his own small heart attack. “Now I can tackle the fun part.”
“You mean this wasn’t fun?” Hunter and Phoebe approached as she scaled down the side of the scaffold.
“Oh, it was. But up there.” She pointed toward the walkway at the tippy top of the tower. “That’s where the magic happens.” Kendall caught Phoebe’s gasp at the word magic. Clearly Calliope’s influence. “And by magic I mean personality.” Her work-booted feet hit the ground. “What’s with the box? Phoebe, are you smuggling vegetables in here in bakery boxes now?”
“Nope. You’ll see.” Phoebe shook her head and pointed to the box.
“Well, if you insist.” She set the roller onto the plastic tarp, wiped her hands on her paint-spattered jeans and pried open the lid. “Cupcakes. How cute. Are these from that new bakery in town? What are those? Little schoolhouses? And that one says Phoebe.”
She looked at Hunter who grinned. “Phoebe wants to go to school,” he announced in a formal voice.
“Really?” Before she thought about it, she dropped down and pulled Phoebe into her arms. “That’s wonderful news! I’m so proud of you.”
Phoebe giggled.
“Only one problem with the cupcakes,” Hunter said as his grin faded.
“Is there anything ever wrong with cupcakes?” Kendall asked.
“They’re carrot cake.”
Kendall groaned. “Obviously they are. Speaking of which, I have a surprise for you.” She took Phoebe’s hand and led them to the side of the carriage house. “I know it’s not much, but it’s something to get you started. I talked to Calliope, and she’s going to help you with some seedlings come next week.”
The simple wooden box hadn’t taken much to put together. With shortened sawhorses and a few bags of fresh dirt waiting to be piled into the drainage-ready container, Phoebe could start her own vegetable garden.
“Your uncle told me how your mom had a garden, and I thought maybe you could do with one yourself. What do you think?”
Phoebe’s eyes filled. She kept hold of Kendall’s hand but squeezed hard.
“This is a wonderful gift. Thank you, Kendall.” Hunter wrapped an arm around her shoulders and brought her in close. He pressed his lips against her forehead and murmured, “It’s perfect.”
“Yeah, only one problem.” Kendall sighed as Phoebe abandoned her to explore the collection of small gardening tools and the fabric tote Kendall had found at the hardware store. “Guess who’s going to have to eat all those vegetables?”
* * *
“A PARTY.” KENDALL stopped midchop and looked over at Hunter, who was watching the steaks grilling on the stove. “You want to have a party and invite half the town?”
“Not that many. Fletcher’s making a list. Just a bunch of people who grew up here so I can get a feel for the experience. I’m making my way through the historical buildings and tourist spots. I want a personal story to attach to each. That reminds me, I’d like to include you when I talk about the lighthouse.”
“Me?” Kendall’s knife slipped, and she just missed her thumb. “But I didn’t grow up here. I don’t qualify.”
“You’re bringing the Liberty back to life. You qualify.”
Unconvinced, she let that slide. “But a party? Here?” All those people around her space. Around her...home. That should worry her more than it did, right?
“Not much different than the tree cutting and fence assembly, right? Only this time we won’t have to do any work. Next Sunday? And we could celebrate Phoebe going back to school.”
Kendall glanced at Phoeb, who was hard at work on her latest batch of math papers. Hunter and Phoebe had a meeting with the school principal Monday morning where they’d decide which teacher would best be suited to her, given Phoebe’s continued shyness.
“That’s your secret weapon, isn’t it? Use Phoebe’s schooling to get me to agree,” she whispered.
“You don’t have to ag
ree to anything,” Hunter said with a shrug. “Fletcher said he and Paige could host if we couldn’t. But given as you’ve finished the exterior of the lighthouse—”
“I finished the painting. There’s still a lot of work to do.”
“But the scaffold can come down, right? And once we stash all your tools and stuff away, it makes for a pretty great barbecue area. I mean, talk about the perfect view.”
“I really don’t have any say in this, do I?”
“Sure you do. This is your home, Kendall. If you don’t want to have it here, we won’t. But it might be good for you. You know. To push you over the hump and away from becoming that grouchy old lighthouse lady.”
“I’m not a grouch.”
Even Phoebe looked at her for that comment.
“When did you become a master of passive-aggressive reverse psychology?”
“Not sure.” Hunter glanced back at the calendar. “When did we get here, Phoebe?”
Phoebe grinned.
“Ha-ha.” It occurred to her just how easy this conversation was. Something had happened to her. That solitude she’d thirsted for had faded; now she could barely tolerate the time she spent away from them. Instead of staring at the ceiling and counting the cracks, she counted the hours until she’d see Phoebe’s smiling face across the breakfast table. Or hear Hunter’s severely off-key shower singing. It had been so long, she couldn’t be sure, but was it possible she was...happy? “Fine. You can have your friends over.”
“Our friends,” Hunter corrected.
“What do I have to do?”
“Nothing other than what I said. Just make the Liberty as presentable as possible. I’ll take care of the rest.”
“That doesn’t worry me at all.” But she settled back into chopping and slicing cucumbers, zucchini, carrots and peppers for dinner.
After dinner and the dishes were done, Kendall puttered around trying to imagine where she could fit a child’s desk in the living room as Hunter worked on his computer. Phoebe walked up behind her and tugged on her shirt.
Safe in His Arms--A Clean Romance Page 18