by G. Bailey
He tilts his head to the side. “Making you angry is pleasing to me.”
“Just when I thought we were becoming friends,” I quip.
“Enemies first,” he replies with a smirk. “Friendship is a big upgrade, and you aren’t there...yet.”
“Yet?” I ask as I block his sword with my own and push it away from me before spinning out of the way and swinging my sword around my back to block another hit.
His laugh echoes off the walls. “Correction: never.”
For some crazy reason, I smile and go back to swinging my sword at Silas. He naturally moves out of the way, using his quick footwork to dodge to the side and swing his leg out, whacking me hard in the stomach. I go flying across the room, unable to stop myself but landing on my back thanks to Silas’s training on how to land without breaking any bones. I gasp for air as I roll over. I don’t hurt as much as I could have done if I let myself land in bad form.
The second I stand up, Silas is behind me, and his hand wraps around my throat, his whole body pushed to my back and his lips inches away from the tip of my left ear. I shiver.
“What has you so tired and distracted today, Mai?” he asks me, his words deep and seductive, his hot breath blowing down the side of my cheek. A rumble leaves his chest, vibrating across my back, and I feel nothing but Silas, like he is attacking my very soul.
I take a deep breath before replying, hoping my voice doesn’t betray how I’m feeling. Letting Silas know I am attracted to him would just give him another thing to use against me. Part of me wonders if he is using that attraction right now.
Or if he just wants to be as close to me as I want to be to him. “I was up last night with Valentine,” I reply.
“All night?” he asks, biting out the words. He takes a deep breath, pushing his nose against my neck.
“Does it matter?” I question. He laughs, wrapping his arm around my waist, his hand splaying against my flat bare stomach. The short crop top I have on means Silas has full access to my stomach, and his fingers drift up, brushing over my ribs one by one. My heart pounds in my chest, making me overfocus on nothing but him. There could be a whole war going on outside this room and neither one of us would notice, I don’t think. I wouldn’t. That’s for sure. Not right now. Not in his arms. I don’t know why he’s holding me like this. Sometimes we get close, but never like this.
“Valentine doesn’t get close to anybody. He doesn’t make friends,” Silas eventually replies, not moving his hand on my skin, his thumb slowly rubbing circles.
“No,” I breathlessly respond. “You’re friends with him, he’s your brother, so clearly he does.”
“Family is different.”
“Valentine told me that I look like someone that you used to know. Someone you had crushes on as kids.”
I nearly gasp as he spins me around so fast, his hands wrapped around my back, forcing our hips close together. He walks us back until I hit the wall, and he shoves a knee between my legs, making me suck in a breath.
He reaches his thumb out and slowly brushes it against my bottom lip as we stare at each other. Who knew being pushed against a wall by a possessive alpha is sexy outside the romance books I’ve read?
“What else has he been whispering to you?” Silas gruffly demands.
“Do I look like her?” I ask him instead, answering his question with a question—something they have taught me to do, because it’s all they ever do. He growls, recognising that I’m using his own tricks against him.
And I don’t stop.
“Do we have the same hair, the same eyes, the same body? What is it?”
“Everything,” he bites out the word. “Absolutely everything except that you’re not her.”
“Clearly not.”
“You’re different. Broken,” he growls out. “And I want to break every wolf that ever hurt you.”
I blame my beating heart, my swirling, messy and complicated emotions as I do something stupid, reckless and dangerous. Something that I think I’ve been planning for a long time but not like this, not with feelings...not real.
I knew it would be the only way to get what I want.
I kiss him.
I kiss Silas Fall, alpha of the Fall Mountain Pack.
He pauses, my lips pressed against his, and I expect him to push me away. But when he doesn’t, when he deepens the kiss, pulling me harshly against his body, I open my mouth and melt into his arms like we are two long-lost lovers. This is not what I had planned. His lips taste like perfection with a hint of something minty. He tastes like everything I’ve ever wanted, and our bodies fit together like we are made for each other as he pulls me closer with his strong arms.
I feel like I’m in the ocean and he is the strong storm to wreck everything about my life. His lips devour my own, hard and demanding.
If he asked me for anything, without a single doubt, I would give it to him in this moment. It takes me more than a few seconds to get out of the moment to remember what I need to do, the reason I kissed him.
The reason I opened a can of worms. His lips drift down my jaw, and pleasure shoots down my body when his lips press against my neck. I force my shaky hand to lift my sword and run it across Silas’s thigh. He pauses against my neck, realising exactly what I’ve done and why I kissed him.
“I never expected that from you,” he murmurs against my neck, and I don’t move.
“You would never have given me a chance to win. I want to be able to shift,” I say breathlessly.
He lifts his head, and his eyes full of fury land on mine. “I don’t like being tricked.”
“Tricking you is the only way I’m going to win,” I reply, holding my head high, not backing down even if he looks so furious I should be scared. “I drew blood. That means I won, and you have to give me permission to shift.”
He pushes away from me, a long growl escaping his lips that echoes around the room. “You don’t know what you’re asking for!”
“I’m asking you to keep your word, which you promised that you would!”
“I never said I wouldn’t,” he counters, not looking at me. “You’re playing with the devil, Mai, and you should fear the outcome of getting what you wish.”
“I’ve been learning from you all in the last three months. The alphas who are meant to be cruel and dangerous...but not to me. Why is that? What makes you different around me?” I question. “Because you can claim to be the devil, but all I’ve seen and felt are angels.”
Whatever I said makes him sharply turn back and storm towards me. This time, I take a few steps back, actually fearing the anger burning in his eyes.
“Outside, now!” Ragnar shouts from the other side of the house, interrupting us with his tone alone, making sure to let us know something is wrong.
“We will continue this conversation another time,” Silas darkly tells me. “Now stay the fuck in here.”
He runs out of the door, and I keep my sword gripped tightly in my hand as I run after him, not listening to his rules. I’m nowhere near as fast a runner as he is, so he is out of the house way before me. If they’re in danger, I can fight now and help them. I’m not completely useless, and I refuse to sit back as they run into possible danger, danger caused by my past. I’ve brought them a million problems, and they haven’t turned their back on me.
For that alone, despite how I feel for them, I won’t run and hide. I made my decision a long time ago that I’m not being a coward and hiding in the shadows. I run out of the training room, through the house and into the entrance hall, guessing they might be outside. Heading straight through the front doors, I see Valentine, Ragnar and Silas are standing around something by the gates. Henderson comes to my side as I run over, and I glance at him to see his eyes narrowed, slowly drifting to red.
“You should go back,” Silas demands, stepping in front of me.
“Is anyone in danger?” I ask as Henderson comes to a stop at Ragnar’s side.
“Let her past,” Ragnar demand
s. Silas grits his teeth but steps to the side. My heart pounds as I take in what they are looking down at.
Right in front of the gates are five dead black wolves. Each one of them has got long cut lines in their neck, blood pouring down their fur, and they’re very clearly dead. The wolves are laid out in a line with a letter of some kind pinned on each one of their chests, looking identical. Silas moves first as sickness crawls up my throat, and I have to look away.
I feel dizzy as I hear him pull one of the notes off and walk back to us. The alphas pass the note around, each one of them looking more annoyed and furious as the next before Valentine just holds it.
I leave my hand out flat in front of him. I need to read it.
“Mai—”
“Just let me read it, Val,” I demand. He sighs and drops the letter in my hand.
Bring my rejected mate back to me, or my wolf will kill all the women in your pack. One by one.
The note falls from my hands as my blood feels like it goes stone cold. My hands are shaking as I realise that these must be all female wolves. Five dead women in a world where hardly any are born in comparison to men, no matter what pack we are from. Now there are five less in the world, and their blood is on my hands. They died because I’m alive.
“You don’t have to fear him, Mai. He won’t get you here, and what this says? This changes nothing,” Ragnar gently tells me, but I hear it in his voice. The pure anger. But me being here? My very existence is going to start a war...and so many are going to die because I didn’t die in that damn sea.
I turn sharply, turn my eyes to him. “This changes everything.”
The sword falls out of my hands as I run from them, from their words and how I think they will try to tell me this isn’t my fault. I don’t know where I’m running. I don’t even look back as I keep running. I don’t get very far before large hands go underneath me and pick me up. I’m thrown over a large shoulder with a manly grunt.
“Let me go!” I scream, smacking my hands against Valentine’s back.
“Nope,” he casually replies as he starts carrying me towards the house. I shout, scream and smack my hands and legs to try and escape as hot tears fall down my cheeks. I fight as he slowly walks, but he doesn’t let me go. He just carries me through the house, up the stairs and to one of the bedrooms I’ve never been in, ducking to go under the smaller door frame.
Valentine drops me onto something soft, and I sit up, seeing I’m on a green fabric sofa at the end of a large luxurious hardwood bed. Valentine sits next to me, blocking the way to the door as I wipe some tears away.
“Welcome to my room. Fair warning, you’re the first girl I’ve brought in here in a long fucking time,” Valentine says, leaning back and stretching his arms out. “Sorry for the mess.”
Honestly, his room is cleaner than I expected it to be as I flicker my eyes around. There are piles of neatly folded clothes on a large oak chest of drawers, and there’s a corner full of what looks like weapon woodwork. The silky dark blue bed sheets are even made, and even though there are about twenty empty bottles on the floor by the bedside unit, it’s still not what I expected for his bedroom.
“I like it,” I say, shrugging my shoulder. “But I need to pack my things and leave. No one else can die because of me.”
Valentine looks at me, his eyes full of a wisdom I don’t understand, and I don’t move. “It’s not your fault.”
“I need to go back to him and let him kill me like he should have at the very start. Then no one else will die. I can’t have them die for me. It’s not their fault that I’m here,” I whisper out, feeling more tears fall down my cheeks. “This is your pack I’m ruining. None of their lives mean less than mine.”
“Your life means more to us,” he softly tells me. “You are our pack, and we would protect you. Let us make that choice.”
“The pack will hate me if I don’t leave.”
“No, they won’t. No one has any love for the Ravensword Pack here, and no one wants the alpha to get his own way. We will get revenge for the women. Be sure of that,” he vows. “Leaving will just let him win. Don’t give your life up to let him win, Mai.”
I gulp and eventually nod.
He leans over, tilting up my chin with his finger. “You said last night you weren’t going to give up on me. I decided I’m not giving up on you. Trust me. Trust your alphas.”
“When did you get so wise, or have you always been that way?” I counter.
He smiles, moving his hand away. “No...I just know how to accept what needs to be done for the greater good. I killed a lot of wolves under the previous alpha’s rule to take over this pack with my brothers. We know death is something close to our souls in the position life has given us.”
“I’m sorry I freaked out,” I admit, letting out a sigh.
“As long as you understand it’s not your fault and you don’t try to run, you’re forgiven for kicking me in the chest,” he counters, and my lips twitch.
“I haven’t drunk anything since last night,” Valentine states. “And I’m not going to. I’m done...and that’s down to you. You made me realise last night that I’m an arsehole and I need to man up. The bottle isn’t going to fix my past and make me forget. It just makes me miss every moment I could have.”
“I’m proud of you,” I whisper, feeling tears prick my eyes.
“Having you here changes things,” he admits. “And for the first time, this morning, I actually didn’t feel like touching that bottle.”
“Maybe we can find different ways to heal,” I gently suggest.
“I’d like that,” he softly replies.
He lets me lean over, and I rest my head on his shoulder, just needing that little bit of comfort that I’ve never really seemed to get from anyone before. We don’t move for a long time, even after he slips his arm around my shoulders.
“By the way, you’re not an arsehole.”
He laughs. “I am, Mai, but never to you. Never again.”
“I can never quite get the lines right on the trees,” I say, looking down at my drawing. Henderson peeks over my shoulder, his arm brushing against mine and making me shiver. Not in a bad way. The funeral for the five wolves is happening right now, and Henderson suggested taking me out of the pack for the day, into the forest, just in case the funeral is another chance for someone to attack me. Five betas roam around the forest nearby us, and Daisy is parked up close by, just in case we need to escape. Five days ago, hours after the five wolves were found dead, we moved all women and children into the mountain for protection, making it like a fortress. Only male pack members can come in and out of the mountain for the time being until the alphas find out who has betrayed them in the pack. Someone must have. There is no way those wolves had been killed and moved so close to the house without a beta seeing it.
The thought makes me shiver. Since that day, one of the alphas sleeps outside of my room every night and follows me around the house. Despite Silas being close to me, he won’t discuss letting me shift or say a word to me in practice training. Whereas I can’t get that kiss out of my mind. Not for a second. I taste him every time I close my eyes.
Henderson’s shoulder brushes against mine as he looks over at my drawing pad. He holds his hand out for it, and I pass him the pad. I watch him as he goes over the drawing of my tree on the one side, making it much wider than I usually would draw. When he stops and hands me it back, I realise he’s made it absolutely perfect.
Realistic. I never had a chance.
“Where did you learn to draw like this?” I demand around a laugh. “You know, I’ve not seen you draw anything bad in the entire time we’ve been doing this.”
I lean further, my back against one of the two trees. Henderson told me about this place in the forest where there are two trees joined, known as a place where love starts. I don’t know why he likes to bring me here...or I try not to think too much about us coming here to draw. I glance up at the twirling bark, how it winds around all th
e way up to the top. Like two lovers wrapped so much in each other that they can’t see the world around them.
The view of the forest from here is beautiful. Nothing but thick forest, and we are on a slightly raised hill, so it really is perfect for drawing.
“I’m just good at drawing. You learn over time,” he says. “I’m surprised that you don’t like any kind of music. I always hear you singing in the shower to songs I’ve not heard before.”
“I’ve played nothing before,” I explain. “The foster home didn’t have expensive things like that. We had some at school, but of course, I wasn’t allowed to use them.”
He shakes his head. “Every young wolf should have an instrument. Wolves have a deep connection to sound. We hear it on so many deeper levels than any other creature.”
“I am still thinking about how you’ve heard my terrible singing,” I say around another laugh.
“It’s not that bad,” he coughs out, and I burst into laughter.
“You’re a total liar. It’s awful,” I say, laughing so hard tears drop from my eyes.
“We’ve got some instruments in storage,” Henderson finally says once we both stop laughing. “I could look for them. Which one did you want to try?”
“Maybe a violin,” I say, thinking of the one at the academy. “I don’t know, it just seems like a graceful instrument.”
His eyes flash red for a second, confusing me, and then he jumps to his feet, moving in front of me.
“What is it?” I whisper, standing up and dropping the pad onto the ground.
Henderson doesn’t reply for a long second, then he relaxes, straightening up, looking over his shoulder at me. “Just Ragnar. He must have felt left out.”
I chuckle, looking across as I see Ragnar’s wolf running fast towards us. He comes to a halt and immediately shifts back.
I divert my eyes from all that golden skin.
“We have a problem, and we need to get to the lighthouse,” Ragnar states as I hear him walk closer.