Complete Works of D.H. Lawrence

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Complete Works of D.H. Lawrence Page 818

by D. H. Lawrence


  Face freed of the wavering blaze.

  Then I shall know which image of God

  My man is made toward,

  And I shall know my bitter rod

  Or my rich reward.

  And I shall know the stamp and worth

  Of the coin I’ve accepted as mine,

  Shall see an image of heaven or of earth

  On his minted metal shine.

  Yea and I long to see him sleep

  In my power utterly,

  I long to know what I have to keep,

  I long to see

  My love, that spinning coin, laid still

  And plain at the side of me,

  For me to count — for I know he will

  Greatly enrichen me.

  And then he will be mine, he will lie

  In my power utterly,

  Opening his value plain to my eye

  He will sleep of me.

  He will lie negligent, resign

  His all to me, and I

  Shall watch the dawn light up for me

  This sleeping wealth of mine.

  And I shall watch the wan light shine

  On his sleep that is filled of me,

  On his brow where the wisps of fond hair twine

  So truthfully,

  On his lips where the light breaths come and go

  Naïve and winsomely,

  On his limbs that I shall weep to know

  Lie under my mastery.

  KISSES IN THE TRAIN

  I saw the midlands

  Revolve through her hair;

  The fields of autumn

  Stretching bare,

  And sheep on the pasture

  Tossed back in a scare.

  And still as ever

  The world went round,

  My mouth on her pulsing

  Neck was found,

  And my breast to her beating

  Breast was bound.

  But my heart at the centre

  Of all, in a swound

  Was still as a pivot,

  As all the ground

  On its prowling orbit

  Shifted round.

  And still in my nostrils

  The scent of her flesh,

  And still my wet mouth

  Sought her afresh;

  And still one pulse

  Through the world did thresh.

  And the world all whirling

  Around in joy

  Like the dance of a dervish

  Did destroy

  My sense — and my reason

  Spun like a toy.

  But firm at the centre

  My heart was found;

  Her own to my perfect

  Heart-beat bound,

  Like a magnet’s keeper

  Closing the round.

  CRUELTY AND LOVE

  What large, dark hands are those at the window

  Lifted, grasping the golden light

  Which weaves its way through the creeper leaves

  To my heart’s delight?

  Ah, only the leaves! But in the west,

  In the west I see a redness come

  Over the evening’s burning breast —

  — ‘Tis the wound of love goes home!

  The woodbine creeps abroad

  Calling low to her lover:

  The sun-lit flirt who all the day

  Has poised above her lips in play

  And stolen kisses, shallow and gay

  Of pollen, now has gone away

  — She woos the moth with her sweet, low word,

  And when above her his broad wings hover

  Then her bright breast she will uncover

  And yield her honey-drop to her lover.

  Into the yellow, evening glow

  Saunters a man from the farm below,

  Leans, and looks in at the low-built shed

  Where hangs the swallow’s marriage bed.

  The bird lies warm against the wall.

  She glances quick her startled eyes

  Towards him, then she turns away

  Her small head, making warm display

  Of red upon the throat. His terrors sway

  Her out of the nest’s warm, busy ball,

  Whose plaintive cry is heard as she flies

  In one blue stoop from out the sties

  Into the evening’s empty hall.

  Oh, water-hen, beside the rushes

  Hide your quaint, unfading blushes,

  Still your quick tail, and lie as dead,

  Till the distance folds over his ominous tread.

  The rabbit presses back her ears,

  Turns back her liquid, anguished eyes

  And crouches low: then with wild spring

  Spurts from the terror of his oncoming

  To be choked back, the wire ring

  Her frantic effort throttling:

  Piteous brown ball of quivering fears!

  Ah soon in his large, hard hands she dies,

  And swings all loose to the swing of his walk.

  Yet calm and kindly are his eyes

  And ready to open in brown surprise

  Should I not answer to his talk

  Or should he my tears surmise.

  I hear his hand on the latch, and rise from my chair

  Watching the door open: he flashes bare

  His strong teeth in a smile, and flashes his eyes

  In a smile like triumph upon me; then careless-wise

  He flings the rabbit soft on the table board

  And comes towards me: ah, the uplifted sword

  Of his hand against my bosom, and oh, the broad

  Blade of his hand that raises my face to applaud

  His coming: he raises up my face to him

  And caresses my mouth with his fingers, which still smell grim

  Of the rabbit’s fur! God, I am caught in a snare!

  I know not what fine wire is round my throat,

  I only know I let him finger there

  My pulse of life, letting him nose like a stoat

  Who sniffs with joy before he drinks the blood:

  And down his mouth comes to my mouth, and down

  His dark bright eyes descend like a fiery hood

  Upon my mind: his mouth meets mine, and a flood

  Of sweet fire sweeps across me, so I drown

  Within him, die, and find death good.

  CHERRY ROBBERS

  Under the long, dark boughs, like jewels red

  In the hair of an Eastern girl

  Shine strings of crimson cherries, as if had bled

  Blood-drops beneath each curl.

  Under the glistening cherries, with folded wings

  Three dead birds lie:

  Pale-breasted throstles and a blackbird, robberlings

  Stained with red dye.

  Under the haystack a girl stands laughing at me,

  With cherries hung round her ears —

  Offering me her scarlet fruit: I will see

  If she has any tears.

  LILIES IN THE FIRE

  I

  Ah, you stack of white lilies, all white and gold,

  A am adrift as a sunbeam, and without form

  Or having, save I light on you to warm

  Your pallor into radiance, flush your cold

  White beauty into incandescence: you

  Are not a stack of white lilies tonight, but a white

  And clustered star transfigured by me tonight,

  And lighting these ruddy leaves like a star dropped through

  The slender bare arms of the branches, your tire-maidens

  Who lift swart arms to fend me off; but I come

  Like a wind of fire upon you, like to some

  Stray whitebeam who on you his fire unladens.

  And you are a glistening toadstool shining here

  Among the crumpled beech-leaves phosphorescent,

  My stack of white lilies burning incandescent

  Of me, a soft white star amo
ng the leaves, my dear.

  II

  Is it with pain, my dear, that you shudder so?

  Is it because I have hurt you with pain, my dear?

  Did I shiver? — Nay, truly I did not know —

  A dewdrop may-be splashed on my face down here.

  Why even now you speak through close-shut teeth,

  I have been too much for you — Ah, I remember!

  The ground is a little chilly underneath

  The leaves — and, dear, you consume me all to an ember.

  You hold yourself all hard as if my kisses

  Hurt as I gave them — you put me away —

  Ah never I put you away: yet each kiss hisses

  Hot as a drop of fire wastes me away.

  III

  I am ashamed, you wanted me not to-night —

  Nay, it is always so, you sigh with me.

  Your radiance dims when I draw too near, and my free

  Fire enters your petals like death, you wilt dead white.

  Ah, I do know, and I am deep ashamed;

  You love me while I hover tenderly

  Like clinging sunbeams kissing you: but see

  When I close in fire upon you, and you are flamed

  With the swiftest fire of my love, you are destroyed.

  ‘Tis a degradation deep to me, that my best

  Soul’s whitest lightning which should bright attest

  God stepping down to earth in one white stride,

  Means only to you a clogged, numb burden of flesh

  Heavy to bear, even heavy to uprear

  Again from earth, like lilies wilted and sere

  Flagged on the floor, that before stood up so fresh.

  COLDNESS IN LOVE

  And you remember, in the afternoon

  The sea and the sky went grey, as if there had sunk

  A flocculent dust on the floor of the world: the festoon

  Of the sky sagged dusty as spider cloth,

  And coldness clogged the sea, till it ceased to croon.

  A dank, sickening scent came up from the grime

  Of weed that blackened the shore, so that I recoiled

  Feeling the raw cold dun me: and all the time

  You leapt about on the slippery rocks, and threw

  The words that rang with a brassy, shallow chime.

  And all day long that raw and ancient cold

  Deadened me through, till the grey downs darkened to sleep.

  Then I longed for you with your mantle of love to fold

  Me over, and drive from out of my body the deep

  Cold that had sunk to my soul, and there kept hold.

  But still to me all evening long you were cold,

  And I was numb with a bitter, deathly ache;

  Till old days drew me back into their fold,

  And dim sheep crowded me warm with companionship,

  And old ghosts clustered me close, and sleep was cajoled.

  I slept till dawn at the window blew in like dust,

  Like the linty, raw-cold dust disturbed from the floor

  Of a disused room: a grey pale light like must

  That settled upon my face and hands till it seemed

  To flourish there, as pale mould blooms on a crust.

  Then I rose in fear, needing you fearfully,

  For I thought you were warm as a sudden jet of blood.

  I thought I could plunge in your spurting hotness, and be

  Clean of the cold and the must. — With my hand on the latch

  I heard you in your sleep speak strangely to me.

  And I dared not enter, feeling suddenly dismayed.

  So I went and washed my deadened flesh in the sea

  And came back tingling clean, but worn and frayed

  With cold, like the shell of the moon: and strange it seems

  That my love has dawned in rose again, like the love of a maid.

  END OF ANOTHER HOME

  When shall I see the half-moon sink again

  Behind the black sycamore at the end of the garden?

  When will the scent of the dim white phlox

  Creep up the wall to me, and in at my open window?

  Why is it, the long, slow stroke of the midnight bell

  (Will it never finish the twelve?)

  Falls again and again on my heart with a heavy reproach?

  The moon-mist is over the village, out of the mist speaks the bell,

  And all the little roofs of the village bow low, pitiful, beseeching, resigned.

  –Speak, you my home! what is it I don’t do well?

  Ah home, suddenly I love you

  As I hear the sharp clean trot of a pony down the road,

  Succeeding sharp little sounds dropping into silence

  Clear upon the long-drawn hoarseness of a train across the valley.

  The light has gone out, from under my mother’s door.

  That she should love me so!–

  She, so lonely, greying now!

  And I leaving her,

  Bent on my pursuits!

  Love is the great Asker.

  The sun and the rain do not ask the secret

  Of the time when the grain struggles down in the dark.

  The moon walks her lonely way without anguish,

  Because no-one grieves over her departure.

  Forever, ever by my shoulder pitiful love will linger,

  Crouching as little houses crouch under the mist when I turn.

  Forever, out of the mist, the church lifts up a reproachful finger

  Pointing my eyes in wretched defiance where love hides her face to mourn.

  Oh! but the rain creeps down to wet the grain

  That struggles alone in the dark,

  And asking nothing, patiently steals back again!

  The moon sets forth o’nights

  To walk the lonely, dusky heights

  Serenely, with steps unswerving;

  Pursued by no sigh of bereavement,

  No tears of love unnerving

  Her constant tread

  While ever at my side,

  Frail and sad, with grey, bowed head,

  The beggar-woman, the yearning-eyed

  Inexorable love goes lagging.

  The wild young heifer, glancing distraught,

  With a strange new knocking of life at her side

  Runs seeking a loneliness.

  The little grain draws down the earth, to hide.

  Nay, even the slumberous egg, as it labours under the shell

  Patiently to divide and self-divide,

  Asks to be hidden, and wishes nothing to tell.

  But when I draw the scanty cloak of silence over my eyes

  Piteous love comes peering under the hood;

  Touches the clasp with trembling fingers, and tries

  To put her ear to the painful sob of my blood;

  While her tears soak through to my breast,

  Where they burn and cauterize.

  The moon lies back and reddens.

  In the valley a corncrake calls

  Monotonously,

  With a plaintive, unalterable voice, that deadens

  My confident activity;

  With a hoarse, insistent request that falls

  Unweariedly, unweariedly,

  Asking something more of me,

  Yet more of me.

  REMINDER

  Do you remember

  How night after night swept level and low

  Overhead, at home, and had not one star,

  Nor one narrow gate for the moon to go

  Forth to her field of November.

  And you remember,

  How towards the north a red blot on the sky

  Burns like a blotch of anxiety

  Over the forges, and small flames ply

  Like ghosts the shadow of the ember.

  Those were the days

  When it was awful autumn to me,

  When only there glowed on the dark of the sky
<
br />   The red reflection of her agony,

  My beloved smelting down in the blaze

  Of death — my dearest

  Love who had borne, and was now leaving me.

  And I at the foot of her cross did suffer

  My own gethsemane.

  So I came to you,

  And twice, after great kisses, I saw

  The rim of the moon divinely rise

  And strive to detach herself from the raw

  Blackened edge of the skies.

  Strive to escape;

  With her whiteness revealing my sunken world

  Tall and loftily shadowed. But the moon

  Never magnolia-like unfurled

  Her white, her lamp-like shape.

  for you told me no,

  And bade me not to ask for the dour

  Communion, offering — “a better thing.”

  So I lay on your breast for an obscure hour

  Feeling your fingers go

  Like a rhythmic breeze

  Over my hair, and tracing my brows,

  Till I knew you not from a little wind:

  — I wonder now if God allows

  Us only one moment of his keys.

  If only then

  You could have unlocked the moon on the night,

  And I baptized myself in the light

  Of your love; we both have entered then the white

  Pure passion, and never again.

  I wonder if only

  You had taken me then, how different

  Life would have been: should I have spent

  Myself in waste, and you have bent

  Your pride, through being lonely?

  BEI HENNEF

  The little river twittering in the twilight,

  The wan, wondering look of the pale sky,

  This is almost bliss.

  And everything shut up and gone to sleep,

  All the troubles and anxieties and pain

  Gone under the twilight.

  Only the twilight now, and the soft “Sh!” of the river

  That will last for ever.

  And at last I know my love for you is here;

 

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