Complete Works of D.H. Lawrence

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Complete Works of D.H. Lawrence Page 831

by D. H. Lawrence


  Were ranked to blue battle — and you and I

  Counted our scars.

  And then in a strange, grey hour

  We lay mouth to mouth, with your face

  Under mine like a star on the lake,

  And I covered the earth, and all space.

  The silent, drifting hours

  Of morn after morn

  And night drifting up to the night

  Yet no pathway worn.

  Your life, and mine, my love

  Passing on and on, the hate

  Fusing closer and closer with love

  Till at length they mate.

  THE CEARNE

  SONG OF A MAN WHO HAS COME THROUGH

  NOT I, not I, but the wind that blows through me!

  A fine wind is blowing the new direction of Time.

  If only I let it bear me, carry me, if only it carry me!

  If only I am sensitive, subtle, oh, delicate, a

  winged gift!

  If only, most lovely of all, I yield myself and am borrowed

  By the fine, fine wind that takes its course through

  the chaos of the world

  Like a fine, an exquisite chisel, a wedge-blade inserted;

  If only I am keen and hard like the sheer tip of a wedge

  Driven by invisible blows,

  The rock will split, we shall come at the wonder,

  we shall find the Hesperides.

  Oh, for the wonder that bubbles into my soul,

  I would be a good fountain, a good well-head,

  Would blur no whisper, spoil no expression.

  What is the knocking?

  What is the knocking at the door in the night?

  It is somebody wants to do us harm.

  No, no, it is the three strange angels.

  Admit them, admit them.

  ONE WOMAN TO ALL WOMEN

  I DON’T care whether I am beautiful to you

  You other women.

  Nothing of me that you see is my own;

  A man balances, bone unto bone

  Balances, everything thrown

  In the scale, you other women.

  You may look and say to yourselves, I do

  Not show like the rest.

  My face may not please you, nor my stature; yet

  if you knew

  How happy I am, how my heart in the wind rings true

  Like a bell that is chiming, each stroke as a stroke

  falls due,

  You other women:

  You would draw your mirror towards you, you

  would wish

  To be different.

  There’s the beauty you cannot see, myself and him

  Balanced in glorious equilibrium,

  The swinging beauty of equilibrium,

  You other women.

  There’s this other beauty, the way of the stars

  You straggling women.

  If you knew how I swerve in peace, in the equi- poise

  With the man, if you knew how my flesh enjoys

  The swinging bliss no shattering ever destroys

  You other women:

  You would envy me, you would think me wonder- ful

  Beyond compare;

  You would weep to be lapsing on such harmony

  As carries me, you would wonder aloud that he

  Who is so strange should correspond with me

  Everywhere.

  You see he is different, he is dangerous,

  Without pity or love.

  And yet how his separate being liberates me

  And gives me peace! You cannot see

  How the stars are moving in surety

  Exquisite, high above.

  We move without knowing, we sleep, and we

  travel on,

  You other women.

  And this is beauty to me, to be lifted and gone

  In a motion human inhuman, two and one

  Encompassed, and many reduced to none,

  You other women.

  KENSINGTON

  PEOPLE

  THE great gold apples of night

  Hang from the street’s long bough

  Dripping their light

  On the faces that drift below,

  On the faces that drift and blow

  Down the night-time, out of sight

  In the wind’s sad sough.

  The ripeness of these apples of night

  Distilling over me

  Makes sickening the white

  Ghost-flux of faces that hie

  Them endlessly, endlessly by

  Without meaning or reason why

  They ever should be.

  STREET LAMPS

  GOLD, with an innermost speck

  Of silver, singing afloat

  Beneath the night,

  Like balls of thistle-down

  Wandering up and down

  Over the whispering town

  Seeking where to alight!

  Slowly, above the street

  Above the ebb of feet

  Drifting in flight;

  Still, in the purple distance

  The gold of their strange persistence

  As they cross and part and meet

  And pass out of sight!

  The seed-ball of the sun

  Is broken at last, and done

  Is the orb of day.

  Now to the separate ends

  Seed after day-seed wends

  A separate way.

  No sun will ever rise

  Again on the wonted skies

  In the midst of the spheres.

  The globe of the day, over-ripe,

  Is shattered at last beneath the stripe

  Of the wind, and its oneness veers

  Out myriad-wise.

  Seed after seed after seed

  Drifts over the town, in its need

  To sink and have done;

  To settle at last in the dark,

  To bury its weary spark

  Where the end is begun.

  Darkness, and depth of sleep,

  Nothing to know or to weep

  Where the seed sinks in

  To the earth of the under-night

  Where all is silent, quite

  Still, and the darknesses steep

  Out all the sin.

  SHE SAID AS WELL TO ME

  SHE said as well to me: “Why are you ashamed?

  That little bit of your chest that shows between

  the gap of your shirt, why cover it up?

  Why shouldn’t your legs and your good strong thighs

  be rough and hairy? — I’m glad they are like that.

  You are shy, you silly, you silly shy thing.

  Men are the shyest creatures, they never will come

  out of their covers. Like any snake

  slipping into its bed of dead leaves, you hurry into

  your clothes.

  And I love you so! Straight and clean and all of a

  piece is the body of a man,

  such an instrument, a spade, like a spear, or an oar,

  such a joy to me — “

  So she laid her hands and pressed them down my sides,

  so that I began to wonder over myself, and what I was.

  She said to me: “What an instrument, your body!

  single and perfectly distinct from everything else!

  What a tool in the hands of the Lord!

  Only God could have brought it to its shape.

  It feels as if his handgrasp, wearing you

  had polished you and hollowed you,

  hollowed this groove in your sides, grasped you

  under the breasts

  and brought you to the very quick of your form,

  subtler than an old, soft-worn fiddle-bow.

  “When I was a child, I loved my father’s riding- whip

  that he used so often.

  I loved to handle it, it seemed like a near part of him.

  So I did his pens, and the jasper seal on h
is desk.

  Something seemed to surge through me when I

  touched them.

  “So it is with you, but here

  The joy I feel!

  God knows what I feel, but it is joy!

  Look, you are clean and fine and singled out!

  I admire you so, you are beautiful: this clean

  sweep of your sides, this firmness, this hard mould!

  I would die rather than have it injured with one scar.

  I wish I could grip you like the fist of the Lord,

  and have you — “

  So she said, and I wondered,

  feeling trammelled and hurt.

  It did not make me free.

  Now I say to her: “No tool, no instrument, no

  God!

  Don’t touch me and appreciate me.

  It is an infamy.

  You would think twice before you touched a

  weasel on a fence

  as it lifts its straight white throat.

  Your hand would not be so flig and easy.

  Nor the adder we saw asleep with her head on her shoulder,

  curled up in the sunshine like a princess;

  when she lifted her head in delicate, startled wonder

  you did not stretch forward to caress her

  though she looked rarely beautiful

  and a miracle as she glided delicately away, with

  such dignity.

  And the young bull in the field, with his wrinkled,

  sad face,

  you are afraid if he rises to his feet,

  though he is all wistful and pathetic, like a mono —

  lith, arrested, static.

  “Is there nothing in me to make you hesitate?

  I tell you there is all these.

  And why should you overlook them in me? — “

  NEW HEAVEN AND EARTH

  I

  AND so I cross into another world

  shyly and in homage linger for an invitation

  from this unknown that I would trespass on.

  I am very glad, and all alone in the world,

  all alone, and very glad, in a new world

  where I am disembarked at last.

  I could cry with joy, because I am in the new world,

  just ventured in.

  I could cry with joy, and quite freely, there is

  nobody to know.

  And whosoever the unknown people of this un —

  known world may be

  they will never understand my weeping for joy

  to be adventuring among them

  because it will still be a gesture of the old world I

  am making

  which they will not understand, because it is

  quite, quite foreign to them.

  II

  I WAS so weary of the world

  I was so sick of it

  everything was tainted with myself,

  skies, trees, flowers, birds, water,

  people, houses, streets, vehicles, machines,

  nations, armies, war, peace-talking,

  work, recreation, governing, anarchy,

  it was all tainted with myself, I knew it all to start with

  because it was all myself.

  When I gathered flowers, I knew it was myself

  plucking my own flowering.

  When I went in a train, I knew it was myself

  travelling by my own invention.

  When I heard the cannon of the war, I listened

  with my own ears to my own destruction.

  When I saw the torn dead, I knew it was my own

  torn dead body.

  It was all me, I had done it all in my own flesh.

  III

  I SHALL never forget the maniacal horror of it all

  in the end

  when everything was me, I knew it all already, I

  anticipated it all in my soul

  because I was the author and the result

  I was the God and the creation at once;

  creator, I looked at my creation;

  created, I looked at myself, the creator:

  it was a maniacal horror in the end.

  I was a lover, I kissed the woman I loved,

  and God of horror, I was kissing also myself.

  I was a father and a begetter of children,

  and oh, oh horror, I was begetting and conceiving

  in my own body.

  IV

  AT last came death, sufficiency of death,

  and that at last relieved me, I died.

  I buried my beloved; it was good, I buried

  myself and was gone.

  War came, and every hand raised to murder;

  very good, very good, every hand raised to murder!

  Very good, very good, I am a murderer!

  It is good, I can murder and murder, and see

  them fall

  the mutilated, horror-struck youths, a multitude

  one on another, and then in clusters together

  smashed, all oozing with blood, and burned in heaps

  going up in a foetid smoke to get rid of them

  the murdered bodies of youths and men in heaps

  and heaps and heaps and horrible reeking heaps

  till it is almost enough, till I am reduced perhaps;

  thousands and thousands of gaping, hideous foul dead

  that are youths and men and me

  being burned with oil, and consumed in corrupt

  thick smoke, that rolls

  and taints and blackens the sky, till at last it is

  dark, dark as night, or death, or hell

  and I am dead, and trodden to nought in the

  smoke-sodden tomb;

  dead and trodden to nought in the sour black earth

  of the tomb; dead and trodden to nought, trodden

  to nought.

  V

  GOD, but it is good to have died and been trodden out

  trodden to nought in sour, dead earth

  quite to nought

  absolutely to nothing nothing

  nothing nothing.

  For when it is quite, quite nothing, then it is

  everything.

  When I am trodden quite out, quite, quite out

  every vestige gone, then I am here

  risen, and setting my foot on another world

  risen, accomplishing a resurrection

  risen, not born again, but risen, body the same as before,

  new beyond knowledge of newness, alive beyond life

  proud beyond inkling or furthest conception of pride

  living where life was never yet dreamed of, nor

  hinted at

  here, in the other world, still terrestrial

  myself, the same as before, yet unaccountably new.

  VI

  I, IN the sour black tomb, trodden to absolute death

  I put out my hand in the night, one night, and my hand

  touched that which was verily not me

  verily it was not me.

  Where I had been was a sudden blaze

  a sudden flaring blaze!

  So I put my hand out further, a little further

  and I felt that which was not I,

  it verily was not I

  it was the unknown.

  Ha, I was a blaze leaping up!

  I was a tiger bursting into sunlight.

  I was greedy, I was mad for the unknown.

  I, new-risen, resurrected, starved from the tomb

  starved from a life of devouring always myself

  now here was I, new-awakened, with my hand

  stretching out

  and touching the unknown, the real unknown,

  the unknown unknown.

  My God, but I can only say

  I touch, I feel the unknown!

  I am the first comer!

  Cortes, Pisarro, Columbus, Cabot, they are noth —

  ing, nothing!

  I am the first
comer!

  I am the discoverer!

  I have found the other world!

  The unknown, the unknown!

  I am thrown upon the shore.

  I am covering myself with the sand.

  I am filling my mouth with the earth.

  I am burrowing my body into the soil.

  The unknown, the new world!

  VII

  IT was the flank of my wife

  I touched with my hand, I clutched with my hand

  rising, new-awakened from the tomb!

  It was the flank of my wife

  whom I married years ago

  at whose side I have lain for over a thousand nights

  and all that previous while, she was I, she

  was I;

  I touched her, it was I who touched and I who was touched.

  Yet rising from the tomb, from the black oblivion

  stretching out my hand, my hand flung like a

  drowned man’s hand on a rock,

  I touched her flank and knew I was carried by the

  current in death

  over to the new world, and was climbing out on

  the shore,

  risen, not to the old world, the old, changeless I,

  the old life,

  wakened not to the old knowledge

  but to a new earth, a new I, a new knowledge, a

  new world of time.

  Ah no, I cannot tell you what it is, the new world

  I cannot tell you the mad, astounded rapture of

  its discovery.

  I shall be mad with delight before I have done,

  and whosoever comes after will find me in the

  new world

  a madman in rapture.

  VIII

  GREEN streams that flow from the innermost

  continent of the new world,

  what are they?

  Green and illumined and travelling for ever

  dissolved with the mystery of the innermost heart

  of the continent

  mystery beyond knowledge or endurance, so sump- tuous

  out of the well-heads of the new world.- —

  The other, she too has strange green eyes!

  White sands and fruits unknown and perfumes

 

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