They finished eating and lay next to each other on the blanket admiring the view of the falls.
"Where did you learn to just talk like this?" she asked. "I mean you know how to put anyone at ease. A while ago I thought we'd have to go home before we'd had a chance to eat anything. Now you've just put me right at ease. I don't know how you do that."
Ethan lowered his head. "When I was out on the range we'd get stuck together for days and nights on end. You learned how to get on with other people when you are stuck with them. You have to know how to keep things real amiable and friendly. Especially among men when they are out hunting some criminal who doesn't want to get caught."
"It must have been dangerous. Weren't you frightened?"
Ethan frowned and his lips thinned and tightened. "Yeah. But you get used to it. After a while it just seems natural to face up to the fear."
Cassie paused and considered what Ethan had said. It seemed to resonate with her own situation more than she would like to admit.
"Is that what you think I have to do. Face up to the fear?" she asked.
He reached over and stroked her hair. "I don't know Cassie. Is it fear? Or is it something else?"
"If it isn't fear then what can it be?"she asked.
"Maybe you have to accept that someone else can be trusted, even while you honor the memory of another that you...loved," Ethan replied.
How could he say such a thing? He was so perceptive. With an almost casual manner he could cut right to the heart of her problems. He seemed to have such an insight into her mind. Cassie felt that she was opening up to Ethan, revealing a deep inner part of her. She wondered if she should do that. She even wondered if she could do it, whether she was capable of it completely. That was what had happened last night. She had closed herself off. She had made the decision not to reveal her inner self to Ethan. Didn't it all come down to trust? Could she trust this man? She kept on asking herself that, but she hadn't come to a definitive answer.
"Wouldn't Joshua have wanted that?" Ethan asked.
"What?" Cassie asked, bringing her attention back to the moment.
"That you honor him, but accept that life has to move on."
"You're right. He would have. But why is it so difficult for me to do that?"
"I don't know the answer to that question. Only you can find that answer Cassie. It's my job to try to help you; to make it as easy for you to find the answer."
Cassie wanted to lean over and kiss him, right then and there, when he said those words. How could she resist a man like this? The soft, bright pools of his eyes gazed at her.
"I know you'll be fine Cassie. You're such a strong person. I don't need to have known you long to know that." His voice was warm and slow.
Ethan moved closer to her and began to run his hands through her hair. She loved the feeling of his long fingers caressing her head. She took in a deep breath.
He leaned in and kissed her. Cassie lay back on the blanket and Ethan pressed closer. She felt the promise of his body as the weight of it edged closer to her. He avoided lying over her, instead positioning himself at her side. His hand went to the side of her face as he continued to kiss her. Cassie thought she was going to sink into the earth as the warmth of his attentions began to overwhelm her.
His mouth was starting to consume her as the force of his kiss became ever more insistent. Ethan growled quietly as he kissed her, and it took everything Cassie had to withhold a moan of her own. Their lips had joined and become one. Cassie began to wonder just how far this would go and whether this was the right place. Ethan leaned in even closer and she felt the firmness of him against her side.
Cassie heard the roaring of the waterfall, the hammering of her heart. She felt her blood course through her system, and her nerves start to come alive in a way she hadn't felt for a very long time. All the while Ethan's attention were firm but gentle.
Cassie was disappearing further into the sensations coursing through her body, allowing herself the luxury of submitting to Ethan's expert attentions.
Then vaguely, somewhere off in the distance, she heard what sounded like children's voices. Laughing children. At first she thought it was some strange trick of her mind, perhaps a memory brought on by the intensity of the experience. Yes, she said to herself. She was enjoying this and she wanted to enjoy so much more of it.
But then she heard the children again. This time the sound was closer. She felt Ethan draw in a sharp breath and then he sat upright, wrenching his lips away from Cassie's desperate wanting. Ethan looked off toward the trees. Cassie sat up and turned to see what he was looking at.
"Someone is here," Ethan muttered quickly. He straightened his jacket and stood up. Cassie sat up and tidied her loosened hair. Whoever it was, it wouldn't do to be seen like this. Ethan reached a hand down and helped her stand up. Cassie ran her hands up and down her dress.
By the time the two children appeared out of the trees Ethan and Cassie were standing casually side by side looking in the direction of the falls. Ethan and Cassie turned in mock surprise and looked at the children. Cassie guessed the children were both around five years old or so. They were laughing and giggling and running excitedly toward the waterfall. When they saw Ethan and Cassie they stopped in their tracks.
Behind them a casually dressed man and a woman appeared out of the trees. They too stopped when they saw Ethan and Cassie.
She didn't recognise the couple but they must have been locals from Sweetheart Falls. The parents nodded politely toward Ethan and Cassie and walked back into the trees leading their children away with them.
Ethan gave Cassie a sly grin. "I think it's time we went home, don't you think, Mrs. Macleod?"
Cassie smiled back at him. "I think you might be right Mr. Macleod," she said, matching his humorous tone of voice.
They packed up the remains of the picnic and headed off. It had been a sudden end to a lovely picnic. Cassie was disappointed at how it had all ended. Nevertheless it had been a lovely interlude in a place that meant so much to her.
CHAPTER TWELVE
The next few days and nights passed in much the same way as the first. Ethan worked tirelessly in the field while Cassie focused all her energy on making the home as much of a place where they could be happy and get to know each other. They ate the meals she cooked and they talked. There seemed no limit to how much they had to learn about each other.
But the nights were the same.
Cassie slept alone. Ethan occupied the couch.
It couldn't go on much longer and she knew it. But Ethan seemed to have unlimited patience. They didn't talk about the uneasy nights during the hard working days.
Then one day Cassie decided they should go visit Julia and her family. She thought being with other people would give her and Ethan a refreshing change of scene.
Ethan and Cassie arrived at Julia and Daniel's farm as the cool of the evening was beginning to settle. Julia and Daniel had done well with their own farmstead. It was producing well and Daniel made regular trips to sell their produce.
Cassie caught herself thinking about another aspect of her and Ethan's shared life. Their own farm was now a joint possession. It belonged to them both and it was up to them to make something of it.
Cassie was looking forward to seeing how Ethan would act with Julia and her husband. It meant so much to her that they would like Ethan and he would fit in with this important part of her life.
They drew up the buckboard in front of Julia's and Daniel's home. They had a similar size farmstead to their own, albeit they had had to enlarge it to make room for the two children.
The whole of Julia's family came out to greet Cassie and Ethan. They seemed pleased to see the recently wed couple. Julia was full of questions about how they were, after the wedding.
Julia took them all indoors and showed Ethan around the home. He seemed genuinely impressed by the layout and complimented Julia and Daniel on creating such a fine home.
When they stepped
outside the two children ran to Cassie and had to be gently calmed down by their father. Little Louise fixed Ethan with a piercing stare.
"Is that your new husband, Cassie?" the little girl asked excitedly. Her eyes shone with burning curiosity. Cassie laughed and rubbed Louise's hair playfully. "It sure is. His name is Ethan. Don't you remember?"
"Sure I do." Louise's voice was eager and enthusiastic..
Nathan examined Ethan with dark eyes. "Can we play with Ethan?
Cassie squatted down in front of Nathan. "Sure you can. He'd love to play. Wouldn't you Ethan."
Ethan went a little pale at the prospect of dealing with such obviously energetic children."Sure I would." Cassie thought he didn't seem too sure.
Louise and Nathan attacked Ethan, leaping upon him. That was all there was to it. The minute he agreed to play with them, they just jumped on him. Before he could react they were all over him.
Cassie and Julia laughed at the sight of the tall man being overcome by the two small children.
Daniel laughed loudly and excused himself, saying he had to go attend to the horses. Cassie and Julia sat down on the seat by the end of the porch.
"They sure are boisterous today, Julia," Cassie said, nodding at the scene of chaos unfolding on the dusty yard in front of them.
Julia watched Ethan. "He is amazing with the children." He was running around, teasing and making both children scream with joy as he pretended to be a horse. They jumped up onto his back and he ran around quickly forcing them to hang on for dear life.
"I know," Cassie said. "He looks real comfortable around kids."
Julia nodded slowly and paused. "Do you regret not having any with Joshua?"
Cassie sighed. "Of course. We tried." There was sadness in her voice. "We sure tried. But it just wasn't to be, for whatever reason. It would have been good to do that with him. Real good."
Julia's face tightened in sympathy. "I know dearest. It would have been good." Her voice dropped to whisper.
"But it might have been unfair on any child to lose a father so young." Cassie said. "So maybe it worked out for the best."
"You can always have children with Ethan," Julia insisted.
Cassie's face flushed. "I know I can." Julia never did hesitate in plain speaking.
"He certainly looks like he would be fine father."
"I'm sure he would," Cassie said, suddenly wanting the subject to be changed. "It's just that it will take a bit of time for me to feel..."
"What?" Julia asked turning to look at Cassie.
"Well... Comfortable with him. It has all been so sudden. So fast. I have hardly had any time to really get to know him. If you know what I mean."
Julia furrowed her brow and paused. "How can I say this delicately? Are you saying that your wedding night wasn't all you might have hoped for,"
Cassie fired her a firm look. "Julia. How dare you ask me such question."
Julia shrugged her shoulders. "Well. You just answered it. Oh dear. What I am I going to do with you Cassie Macleod?"
"You are going to do nothing. I appreciate everything you've all done to help me. But there really is a limit to how much you can intrude on someone's life."
"I haven't been intruding dearest," Julia said. "I and the others saw that you needed help, and we gave it to you."
"And I appreciate it. I truly do."
"I hardly think it has turned out badly," Julia said, nodding toward Ethan, who had now been forced to the ground by the two laughing children.
"He is a very fine man," Cassie replied.
"I'd a say he was more than that. Looks to me like you got yourself a real catch there Cassie. There are not many like Ethan."
"But it's strange. There's something about him. It's as if he already knows what I like, what moves me, what means a lot to me. He never stops making guesses about me that are usually right."
Julia frowned. "You know what Hettie's like. She probably gave him so much background on you that it would be like he'd known you for months, even before you both were wed."
Cassie shook her head. "I'm sure Hettie was thorough. But it's more than that. He really understands me. I can't quite put my finger on it. Don't get me wrong I'm not complaining."
"I wouldn't if I were you. Daniel sometime just doesn't make the effort. Not as much as he used to. He is still good to me. But things change. That's all I can say. Maybe after a few years of marriage things will change between you and Ethan. They usually do. I'd say enjoy it while it lasts,"
"Maybe I'm being too demanding. I was just spoiled with Joshua. Him and I never had a chance for things to get bad between us. Not that they'll get bad between me and Ethan," Cassie said.
"God forbid!" Julia responded. "Make hay while the sun shines my dear," her friend advised her. "Your not spoiled dearest, " Julia patted Cassie's hand. "You just have very high standards for yourself and for others."
"But you know me. Unless things are absolutely perfect I can get all anxious. Just can't settle."
"You should spend more time with Hettie if you want to see anxious and unsettled. The ladies can't keep up with her."
Both women laughed as they watched Ethan pick up the two children and hold them out like they were two dolls.
"What I am I going to do with these two, Julia?" Ethan called out.
He spun them around and they screamed in delight. He didn't stop until they were all dizzy. They sank down to the ground when he finally put them back on their feet.
The kids ran off, chasing each other, staggering from side to side, obviously delighted at the intense play they had just enjoyed with Ethan.
He came up to Cassie and Julia. He was sweating with the exertion of the play but he looked pleased.
"Those are two amazing children you have there Julia. You and Daniel must be real proud of them," Ethan said.
"We are. And you just made their day Ethan. Cassie and I were just talking about kids," Julia said.
Cassie dug her elbow into Julia's ribs. "Julia!" she hissed.
"We think that kids just make all the difference to a couple. "Family is everything to me and Daniel," Julia said.
"And to me," Ethan replied. "I've already told Cassie what I think about kids and family."
Ethan sat down next to Cassie and placed a hand on hers. "I had a real tough time growing up. My sister and I had to struggle real hard to have any kind of family happiness, what with all the work my parents had to do to make ends meet."
"I'm sorry to hear that Ethan." Julia looked towards Cassie who seemed to be growing in her discomfort.
"We didn't have it any tougher than most," Ethan continued. "But I got so that I valued family above all else. For me, that means children," Ethan gave Cassie a very direct and forthright look.
Cassie saw it and rolled her eyes obviously impatient with the direction of the conversation. She sighed and tapped her foot.
"And here I thought we had come over for a little food and good company," she said. "I didn't expect to get a good talking to about kids and stuff." Cassie stood up. "When are we going to eat?"
Julia took her cue. "Let's get to the kitchen dearest. These men and kids are going to get hungry if we don't get down to business."
Ethan frowned as he watched Cassie and Julia head inside. As she entered the cabin Cassie glanced back. Ethan was looking directly ahead, his mouth twisted and brow furrowed. He looked like someone who was trying to figure out just what he had said wrong. She wasn't about to pursue that line of conversation with him here at her friends house. He had to understand that she had her limits and her boundaries. She had her own standards of propriety and discussing children while visiting her friend for dinner was definitely not what she felt was appropriate.
Daniel came back and took Ethan away for a walk in the evening cool leaving the women to the cooking.
Cassie worked with Julia on the meal. All through the preparation and cooking and laying of the table she couldn't get out of her head just how great Ethan was
with Julia's kids. He seemed like someone who was so comfortable with them, and the kids just naturally warmed to him too. It had taken her by surprise that he was like that. Then again it was getting to be that nothing about Ethan Macleod took her by surprise anymore.
They'd had a wonderful time at Julia's. As they rode back along the trail the sun was just beginning to set. They would have enough light to make it back to their home. Ethan steered the buckboard. They didn't say much to each other.
The events of the evening were spinning around in Cassie's head. She kept thinking about the children and how comfortable Ethan had been with them. It had really impressed her how he had taken to the children. She was sure he would be a great father when the time came. And that was the question that was burrowing into Cassie. When was the right time for them to be closer together?
She wondered if she had pushed him away too much. Had she been too harsh keeping him at a distance? But she could hardly believe how patient he had been under the circumstances. It was clear he found her attractive; he had told her so and she believed him. It felt good that he was so clearly entranced by her.
Cassie had been wondering in the past few days just how much longer she could keep him away from her at night. She had come to trust him more in the last few days, and she had seen so much evidence of his honesty and integrity. He was kind, hard working and handsome.
Cassie looked at Ethan as he focused his attention on the trail. She couldn't continue to be so hard on him. It wasn't right. He made her feel so many things. She felt wanted, desired, respected and valued. How much more could a woman ask for?
She curled her arm inside his and laid her head on his shoulder. Ethan was taken by surprise. "You okay?" he asked.
"I'm just fine," she answered, smiling. "Just fine."
They arrived back at the cabin just as the dark was setting in. She went inside while he was putting the horse away for the night. It didn't take her long to get ready for him.
When he came back into the cabin he stopped in surprise when he saw her leaning against the door of the bedroom.
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