“Hey, guys. What’re you doing here?”
“Coach told me what’s going on.” Derek shrugged, his grin infectious. “And Justin’s dad owns a construction company, so he’s got some actual experience with demolition. I’m just here ’cause destroying shit sounds like more fun than working out at the gym. So, just point us in the right direction and we’ll get started.”
*****
Five hours later, the guys had left a few minutes ago, and Leah shut and locked the door behind her and Kyle.
She could barely put one foot in front of the other, and Kyle had been biting his tongue for the past half hour against the urge to tell her she needed to go home and get some sleep.
When she’d tripped over a pile of rubble on the way to the door, he’d almost been too late to catch her.
But when she couldn’t pull herself up into his truck, he couldn’t keep his mouth shut any longer.
“You’re going straight to bed. You’re overworked and overtired.”
The minute the words left his mouth, he realized it was the absolute wrong thing to say. The problem was, he wasn’t wrong. She was dead on her feet and they’d never finished their conversation from earlier. The one where she’d said she wasn’t sure she wanted to buy in.
Today, she’d worked like this was her place, even though her name wasn’t on the lease. And she wasn’t sure it ever would be. Or that she wanted it to be.
But that was Leah. She gave and gave and never expected anything in return because she was the sweetest person he knew.
Charlotte hadn’t asked her to stay and do all this work. But Leah had known that a long closure could kill the studio’s bottom line and Charlotte couldn’t afford that.
He expected Leah to say something when he swung into the driver’s seat, but she sat there quietly the entire drive back to their apartment building.
He opened his mouth several times to say something then thought better of it. Probably better to wait until they got home. Which was how he found himself gritting his teeth at her front door.
She’d opened it and stood there, staring up at him.
He knew that look. He’d only ever seen it on her face once before. When he’d told her he was leaving a year and a half ago.
“Thank you for your help today.” She tried for a smile but couldn’t quite make it. “I don’t know what I would’ve done without it.”
Now she paused, and he knew exactly what she was working herself up to say.
“But this isn’t going to work,” she continued. “A relationship between you and me. I don’t know what I’m going to do with my life, but I know I’m not the same person I was two years ago. I’m not the person you think I am.”
“I know who you are, Leah.” He wanted to take her hand and pull her to him, but he was afraid she’d resist and that would crush him. But he had to tell her this. “And you’re the only woman I want in my life. You’re sweet and kind and you give too much of yourself. You’re too good for me.” He knew that for an absolute fact. But it didn’t mean he wasn’t going to try to keep her. “You were too good for me two years ago and I knew it then. I took you for granted and that was the biggest mistake of my life.”
She blinked up at him, her eyes bleary. He couldn’t be sure if her exhaustion had brought that one or if his words had.
“I want you.” He took a step closer, couldn’t help himself. “I want us to be together. And I know what that means for you. I know what you’ll have to give up. My life isn’t easy. But I want you with me.”
Shaking her head, she sighed. “I can’t be the person you want me to be. It’s probably better if we just admit that now.”
“Wait, Leah—”
“No, you were right.” She took a step back. Away from him. “I’m dead on my feet, and I’m going to bed. Please thank the other guys for me again. And thank you. But… Good night.”
Then she shut the door in his face.
Leaving him to wonder if he was ever going to be able to breach those walls of hers again.
*****
Leah had been so tired last night, she’d fallen into bed after taking a quick shower and slept ten hours.
When she got up, every muscle in her body ached. But not as much as the ache in her heart.
She was pretty sure when she’d shut the door on Kyle last night, she’d shut the door on their relationship.
He’d been wonderful all day. She honestly didn’t know what she would’ve done without him. And Charlotte wouldn’t be able to continue to hate him after this, especially since Kyle and his teammates had basically gutted the studio and given Charlotte’s contractor a head start on the renovation.
Leah had gotten a text from Charlotte this morning that said she was meeting the contractor at the studio later this morning. She really should join them, especially if she was going to become Charlotte’s partner.
But what she really wanted to do was curl into a little ball on the sofa and watch Hallmark Channel Christmas movies all day. They were like the cracker candy her mom made every year at the holidays, so sweet her teeth ached but so good for the soul.
Her gaze lit on the still-undecorated Christmas tree in the corner, and she couldn’t stop thinking about Kyle.
Yesterday had shown her what would happen when he left again. And he would leave.
She didn’t know how she’d deal with that again. The first time had been painful enough. This time…it might break her.
Kyle had texted her this morning, too. Before she’d woken up.
Totally understand if you have too much to do tonight but I got you and Stace tickets for the game. Pick up at will call. Sitting with Sophie. Derek said you sit with her sometimes. Hope you’re able to make it.
She immediately wanted to go. Wanted to watch him play again. She’d missed seeing him on the ice, missed the adrenaline rush of the game while watching the man she loved play a game he loved.
Thought you weren’t in love with him anymore?
She wished she could answer that question truthfully. Hell, she wished she could answer it at all. Her brain had way too much going on to even consider it.
Or maybe you know what your answer is and you’re just too afraid to acknowledge it.
Texting Charlotte, she told her she’d stop by later that afternoon. What she didn’t put in the text was that they needed to talk.
And when she got to the studio, Charlotte took one look at her face and sighed.
“You’re turning me down, aren’t you?”
“I’m sorry it’s taken me this long to give you an answer and I know it’s not the one you want but…”
As she searched for the right words, Charlotte found them first.
“But you’re not over Kyle and you don’t want to tie yourself to this place.” Charlotte shook her head. “I know this was never your dream, to own a yoga studio. But I was hoping I could change your mind.”
“I hope this means I can keep teaching—”
“Don’t even say the rest of that sentence.” Charlotte held up one hand. “Of course I want you to stay for as long as you want. Forever, even. You’re the best instructor I know and you’re one of my best friends. And if that damn man doesn’t treat you right this time, I will personally take his hockey stick and shove it somewhere he does not want it.”
Laughing, Leah shook her head. “I honestly don’t know what’s going to happen. I don’t even know what I want to happen. I just know I need some time to figure that out.”
“I get it, hon. Just don’t do something because you think he wants it. Do it because you want it.”
She just wished she knew exactly what she wanted.
Chapter Five
Kyle figured it was probably a good thing he was benched tonight.
His brain was splintered in so many directions, it would’ve totally fucked with his game.
Coach had noted the roster changes and a few of the guys had given him looks, but Derek and Nate and the three other guys who’d
been at the studio nodded and tapped his pads on their way out of the locker room for warm-ups.
When he’d skated onto the ice, he’d checked the seats where the WAGs usually sat, but he only saw Sophie and a couple of other women he didn’t recognize.
Shit.
He tried to tell himself it didn’t matter, that if she didn’t show up, he’d be at her door tomorrow morning with coffee and scones, because of course she didn’t eat donuts. And if that didn’t work…he’d figure out something else. He wasn’t walking away. Not this time.
And he was prepared to do whatever it took.
So he’d asked Derek, who’d gotten Stace’s number. Then he’d told her about the tickets for tonight and had practically begged her for help.
Amazingly, she said she’d do what she could but not to hold his breath.
He’d grinned in spite of her dig and headed for the arena. He’d take what he could get.
But when he skated onto the ice with the rest of the team for the start of the first period before heading to the bench, he didn’t look again to see if she was in the stands.
He needed to focus on the game because this was his career and he would give it everything he needed to make it work.
But life had given him another chance with Leah and he wasn’t going to give it up.
At least not until he’d exhausted every angle.
*****
When six thirty finally rolled around that night, Leah found herself, ticket in hand, on the concourse of the arena, knowing she was about to give Kyle an answer to a question he hadn’t asked.
And if you’re wrong and you’re reading too much into a simple request?
Then she’d live with it. Either way, she’d made up her mind.
“No backing out now.” Stace nudged with her shoulder. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen a game and I’m looking forward to it.”
Leah gave her friend a wry smile. “I wasn’t planning to leave. I’m just…”
“Terrified?”
“Afraid to be hopeful.”
Stace put her hand on her shoulder. “Hey, if this isn’t what you want to do tonight, we can go have a few drinks somewhere and unwind.”
Leah was shaking her head by the time Stace finished. “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be.”
“If it makes any difference,” Stace said, “I do think he’s different this time. He seems more…thoughtful.”
To hear what she’d been thinking from someone else made her heart glad and she was smiling when they made their way to their seats.
“Leah! I’m so glad you came. Derek said Kyle wasn’t sure you’d make it. Which means he was afraid you wouldn’t come.”
Sophie gave her a big hug, which Leah returned, then gave another to Stace. They only had a minute to talk before the music ramped up and the announcer began to speak.
Leah hadn’t been to a game since October, had told herself she’d get to another one but never had. And had never admitted to herself that it was because she missed watching Kyle.
She’d said it was because she was busy, didn’t have the time.
But sitting here in the cold arena, with the crowd dressed mostly in red and black, she knew exactly why she hadn’t come. It hurt too much.
And now she felt like she’d come home.
How awful is it going to suck when he leaves again?
No, she wasn’t going to think about that now.
Since she’d missed warm-ups, she hadn’t seen Kyle yet, and when the lights went down, she felt a familiar catch in her throat at the thought of watching him play.
Except…Kyle wasn’t starting.
When they announced Nate in goal, she realized Kyle had given up his start to help her yesterday.
Damn that man. Tears pooled, and she blinked fast so they wouldn’t fall. She didn’t want to have to explain to her friends why she was crying. And it wasn’t because she was sad.
She didn’t see much of the game. Mainly, she watched Kyle as he sat one the bench.
He followed the game with such intense focus, she couldn’t take her eyes off him. She only looked up to see what was going on when he reacted.
Tonight’s game wasn’t going well for the Redtails. They were down two by the end of the first period and the guys looked discouraged as they left the ice. Kyle thumped each of his teammates on the back as they filed back to the locker room.
Right before he followed, he looked up. Straight at her. His mouth curved in a huge grin and her breath caught at how stunningly handsome he was.
Then he disappeared, and she sucked in much-needed air.
“Do you think we should just let her stand here and watch the space where he used to be for the next eighteen minutes or should we drag her away to get a drink?”
Stace’s wry comment made everyone laugh, and Leah turned to face her grinning friends with arched brows.
“You’re just jealous.”
“You’re damn right I am.” Stace sighed as she wrapped her arm around Leah’s shoulders before she leaned in close. “He better treat you right this time or you tell him I will follow through on my threat to cut off his balls with his stick blade.”
“Stace!” Leah shook her head.
“I’m serious, LeeLee. Don’t sell yourself short. Make him work for it.”
“He has.”
He’d proved it yesterday.
Tonight, she’d tell him just how much it’d meant to her.
The clock couldn’t run out fast enough tonight and not only because the Redtails lost the game with the score 5–2.
When the last bell finally rang and the crowd cleared out, her heart pounded against her ribs like a trapped bird.
She knew it would take him at least twenty minutes to shower and change and she had no idea if he’d added her to the list of visitors allowed to come downstairs to wait for the players.
Stace gave her a hug and said good-bye, and Leah wondered if she should go home and wait for him or if she should check with the guard.
Then Sophie linked her arm through Leah’s. “Come on, I know for a fact he put you on the list. Let’s go give our guys a hug. They’re gonna need ’em.”
*****
Was she out there?
Kyle hoped like hell she was. He wanted her to be out there, wanted to see her waiting in the hall like she used to, a smile on her face.
“Damn, man, you look like you singlehandedly lost the game for us.” Will bumped his shoulder against Kyle’s as they sat side by side on the bench. “You weren’t even on the ice. Just not our game tonight. You’ll get your chance to be the hero next game.”
“Hell, he’s not even thinking about the game anymore, are you?” Derek’s grin made Kyle lips quirk. “No, he’s wondering if Leah’s in the hall. Want me to check for you?”
Kyle answered with a middle finger in Derek’s direction, which made Derek laugh and shake his head.
“Aw, come on, you love me, just admit it.”
Which made Kyle roll his eyes, but it also loosened some of the tightness in his chest.
Maybe he was a little worried that she wouldn’t be there. Yeah, she’d come to the game, but was she going to give him another chance at her heart?
Guess it was time to find out.
Since he wasn’t on the list of guys the media wanted to talk to tonight, he was free to go whenever he was ready. Which was now.
And still he continued to sit here.
With a sigh, he stood, grabbed his jacket, and headed out.
He didn’t see her right away with the other women clustered near the midpoint of the hallway, and his heart took a serious hit.
Okay, so she left. You need to do more work, show her just how much—
The crowd shifted as they noticed him, all of them smiling at him. He had a second to wonder why before he saw her.
The smile on her face wiped away every lingering doubt, and his mouth curved into a grin so wide, his face kinda hurt.
S
mall price to pay.
He picked up his pace to get to her, as she started to move forward. They met in the middle, and as she opened her mouth to speak, he cupped her head in his hands and kissed her like he hadn’t seen her in years and she was the most precious thing in his life.
Which she was.
Catcalls came from both ends of the hall, the women louder and more boisterous than his teammates, who’d started to trickle out seconds after him.
Neither of them cared.
Leah wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed close as he twisted his head to align their mouths at the perfect angle.
Then he tried to show her just how much he loved her. He didn’t let her up for air for several his seconds. His lips moved over hers with a purpose she couldn’t ignore.
She gave back just as much.
When he finally released her, they both sucked in air as they smiled, oblivious to the rest of their friends.
“I love you, Leah. I’m going to prove it to you every day so you never doubt me.”
Her smile lit him up inside, more completely than any game ever could.
“I love you, too, Kyle. I’m ready to follow you anywhere as long as we’re together.”
“Together.”
But wait…There’s more!
Redtails Hockey
The Brick Wall
The Grinder
The Enforcer
The Instigator
The Playboy
The D-Man
STEPHANIE JULIAN
Stephanie Julian has been a daily news reporter, a freelance feature writer and a movie, theater and music critic but what she loves most is writing heat with heart. She’s happily married to a Springsteen fanatic and is the mother of two sons.
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The Playboy: Redtails Hockey #5 Page 6