by C. L. Stone
Luke, Gabriel and I collected back up in my room. Luke settled into drawing out a map of the house on notebook paper and occasionally left the room to go measure something with the tape. Gabriel kicked his shoes off, dropped into my bed, pulled the blanket up and fell asleep.
With nothing else to do, I sat on the floor and I finished up my homework.
About an hour later, Luke crawled over to where I was sitting in the corner of the room on the carpet. I was finishing the reading assignment for English.
“Sang,” he said, his eyes big and his hand on his stomach. “Will you make something to eat? I’m starving.”
I found a pencil and wrote to him so I wouldn’t have to talk. “What would you like?”
“Anything,” he said. He tugged a band from his blond hair. Locks tumbled across his face. He raked his fingers through the strands, pulling them back to redo the pony tail. “I’ll eat bread and water.”
I smirked at him. I thought I could do a little better than that.
A sharp ringing sound cut through the air. Gabriel’s outline shifted on the bed. “Yeah?” he said in a groggy voice. “No, she’s right here. Fuck, yes, I’m sleeping. Shut up. Luke’s here. Stop yelling at me. We’re supposed to be up all night watching her, so I’m trying to sleep now. Fuck you.” Gabriel’s hand appeared from under the blanket and he dropped the phone onto the carpet with a thud. “Sang,” he called. “Phone’s for you.” He flipped over. The top of his hair appeared as the blanket shifted but he settled down, going back to sleep again.
I looked at Luke. Who expected me to talk to them now?
Luke laughed. He walked over and scooped up the phone. “Yes? Yeah, she’s right here.” His eyes flickered to me. “No, he’s just napping. You know how he is when you wake him up. Yes, she’s still asleep. Yes, tell North Sang finished her homework.” Luke made a face at me. I smiled at him. “What? No.” He held his hand over the end of the phone. “Silas wants to know your favorite color.”
“Pink,” Gabriel mumbled from under the blanket.
Luke checked with me to confirm and I nodded. “She said pink. Well if they don’t have it in pink, go to another store.”
I tugged on Luke’s shirt sleeve, quietly asking him what in the world he was talking about. He waved me off, holding me back with his hand and tilting the phone away. I could hear Silas talking but I couldn’t figure out what he was saying. I blew out a breath, shaking my head. I got up, crossing the room. If there was nothing else they needed, I was going to make food.
I padded down the stairs. I popped my head into my mother’s room. She was still in a deep sleep but the color in her cheeks looked better. I was going to try to get her to take a bath when she woke up so I could wash her sheets. Usually my dad did it but now that I knew how bad her illness was, I thought maybe if I helped out more she wouldn’t be so crazy when she was awake.
I meandered into the kitchen. I checked the fridge and started collecting ingredients to make bacon and grilled cheese sandwiches with apples.
Butter melted in the frying pan when I sensed someone stepping up behind me. I spun around, nearly knocking into Gabriel.
“Watch yourself, Trouble,” he said. He yawned, rubbed a palm against his eye. He combed the lock of blond back to mix in with the rest of his brown hair behind his ears. “What’s for breakfast?”
“Grilled cheese,” I whispered. I slipped bread into the pan, layered it with cooked bacon and cheese. I thinly sliced Granny Smith apples to add on top, plus another slice of cheese and another piece of bread.
“What’s with the apple?” he asked. “That’s weird.”
“It’s good,” I whispered.
“Whatever you say.” He folded his arms across his stomach and leaned against the counter.
“Gabriel,” Luke said softly as he walked into the kitchen. “We’re not supposed to leave her room.”
“Who the hell is going to tattle on us? Her mom’s still passed out. We’d hear her coming if she came through here.”
Luke made a face but his head turned as he spotted me cooking. “Oh thank goodness.”
“She puts apples in her grilled cheese.”
“Cool.”
“Do you not want apples?” I whispered to Gabriel.
Gabriel slipped next to me, dropping a hand on my hip and pressed his cheek to my shoulder. “Is it good?”
“Try a bite of this when it’s done,” I said. “If you don’t want it, I’ll eat the rest.”
Gabriel’s phone went off again. He let me go and stepped away from us to answer it. “What? Yes, she’s here, would I be all calm if she wasn’t?” He held the phone away from his head. “Sang, Victor’s outside. Run out there.”
I passed the spatula to Luke. He took it and flipped over the grilled cheese. Gabriel followed me to the side door, opening it for me. He hung out in the doorway as I ran through the garage.
The gray BMW was parked at the end of the driveway. Victor was leaning against the side door. Black slacks. White Armani shirt. The fire in his eyes was lit to a cozy setting. “Hi,” he said.
I smiled at him.
“Are they driving you crazy yet?”
I shook my head. “Nope.”
He straightened and turned to open the back seat of his car. He lifted out a brown leather messenger bag. “There’s two laptops in here. One is for you to play with. The other is for Luke to work on.”
He handed it off to me. The leather bag was stiff. It appeared brand new.
He dipped his hand into his back pocket and pulled out an iPhone with a pink case attached. “This is yours.”
The cell phone was identical to the old one. “Did you fix it?”
“Sweetheart, you demolished the other one. This is new.”
Heat teased my cheeks. “I didn’t… I don’t really need…”
He dropped a finger to my lips, squishing my mouth closed. “Just say thank you.”
I smiled and mouthed a thank you around his finger.
He encircled me in another hug. “I’ve got to get some things done. I may not see you tomorrow. Text me.”
“I will,” I whispered, mashing myself into him. I didn’t want to let go.
He released me and stepped away. I held back and watched as he started his car and backed out of the drive. I waved as he drove off. How normal was that? Why couldn’t that happen all the time? Why couldn’t my mother accept that people weren’t all that bad? I was making lunch for Luke and Gabriel. We’d been hanging out all afternoon. No death. No raping. Just friends.
I collected the mail, too, since I was outside. Back inside, burning bread and butter met me at the door. I dropped the leather bag and the mail on the floor, sprinting to the kitchen.
The kitchen was empty. Grilled cheese smoked on the pan. I snatched up the spatula to plate the sandwich. Two additional sandwiches were sitting on the plate, too. Where did the guys go?
“Sang!” My mother’s voice clattered through my ears. Thudding footsteps sounded from the hallway.
My heart stopped. I dropped the pan on the stove and shut off the heat.
My mother appeared from the hallway, hair mangled against her head. She tugged the IV pole with her. It was on wheels so she could roll it along. “There you are,” she said. “What’s burning?”
“Sorry,” I whispered. “I left it on when... when I went to go check the mail. I thought I would get back quickly enough.”
My mother blinked at me. “Why are you whispering?”
She didn’t remember. The worst experience she’d put me through and she didn’t know. If I had never called Silas and if they never saved me, I’d still be there now, or dead. “Sore throat,” I whispered. I coughed softly once but swallowed hard so I wouldn’t go into a fit.
She staggered backward. “Don’t come near me,” she said. “I can’t get sick.” She paused. “When did the doctor come?”
I assumed she meant the IV. “I called him,” I lied. “You weren’t waking up so I call
ed. They set you up with that. I hope that was okay.”
She shuffled on her feet, putting her weight on one leg and then the other. She didn’t look happy about it, and I knew it was because there were strangers in the house, but to her they were doctors. They were who she saw in the hospital. I wondered how she rationalized it. She was okay with doctors but not anyone else? I wonder if she’d like Dr. Green.
She settled finally, as if accepting this answer. “Make sure you call your father if you need to do that again. Let him call.”
“Okay.”
“Where’s the mail?”
I retraced my steps to the side door. She followed me and I was worried she’d ask about the leather bag.
The messenger bag wasn’t on the floor where I’d left it. Luke or Gabriel must have used the back steps to collect the bag. My heart fluttered, hoping they could remain quiet. I scooped up the mail from the floor and carried it over to my mother.
She took it from me. “You made three sandwiches?” she asked me, pointing to the plate I had made.
“I’m really hungry,” I said. She noticed that but she didn’t notice the bandages on my wrists and ankles?
Now that I was focused on her, I realized she hardly looked at me. Her eyes darted around me, occasionally looking at my knees or something similar but always out of focus until she looked at something else. Did I not notice before? Being around the others, they often touched at my face to bring my eyes to theirs. Did I divert my eyes too much without realizing it? Was I looking around others but not really at them?
“You’ll get fat,” she said.
“Do you need anything? Water? I can make you grilled cheese. I could make some soup.”
She considered this. “Bring me water and some yogurt.” She rolled her IV pole back to her bedroom.
I collected what she wanted quickly and raced to her room. I was there before she made it to the bed. I gave her a plastic spoon and her water bottle. I nudged the plastic trash can closer to her bed. “If you’ll take a bath, I’ll change your sheets.”
She narrowed her eyes at me. “What do you want?”
“Huh?” I meant to ask more, but dry air caught in my throat and I started coughing.
She reeled her head back, taking the top off of her water. “Go away. You’ll make me sick.”
I swallowed and rushed out of her room. I went back to the kitchen, grabbing the plate of grilled cheese and three bottles of water from the fridge and a bag of potato chips, taking them upstairs.
My door was closed, locked. I had to put the water and chips down to find the pushpin in the wall, opening the door one handed.
When I peeked into the room, the boys weren’t there. I replaced the push pin and picked up the water and chips. I dropped everything on top of the trunk by the wall and closed the door again. “Gabriel?” I whispered.
Scuffling noises broke out from the attic and a moment later, Gabriel and Luke peeked out from around the bookshelf. They looked relieved.
“I thought it might have been your mom,” Gabriel whispered.
I pressed a button on the stereo, turning the volume up on the music to help mask our noises. I picked up the grilled cheese and passed them the plate.
Behind the bookshelf, we collected on the floor. Since my mother was awake, it meant we had to be extra quiet now. We ate together. I took the burnt one and pulled the burned side off to eat it open faced. Gabriel liked the apples.
When we were done, Gabriel sat cross legged on the bed near the window and I curled up on the other end with the pillow. Luke remained behind the bookshelf on the carpet. Gabriel checked fashion blogs with the extra laptop. Luke was doing his work. I started texting everyone with the new phone.
Sang: Silas! What are you doing?
Silas: North’s giving me a lecture about spark plugs. Save me.
Sang: North.
North: What?
Sang: Just checking. Tell Silas I said hi and that I think spark plugs are interesting.
North: You’re still full of shit.
Sang: Do you still like me?
North: Yes. Do you still like me?
Sang: Yes.
Sang: Kota, I made grilled cheese. My mom woke up.
Kota: Did she notice anything?
Sang: She doesn’t remember. She asked when I called the doctor for the IV but she didn’t seem too surprised by it. She did ask about my throat but I lied and said I was sick.
Kota: If she forgets what happened, don’t remind her. Keep me updated.
Sang: Nathan, are you awake?
Nathan: Nope.
Sang: Sleep texting?
Nathan: Yes.
Sang: That’s a talent.
Nathan: I want to come hang out.
Sang: Will everyone take turns?
Nathan: Yup. I think that’s the plan. Don’t get caught before it’s my turn. If you get into trouble, run over here.
Sang: Thank you, Victor.
Victor: You’re very welcome. Keep it close.
Sign Language
After another hour, I slid off the bed onto the floor to go back downstairs. I collected the plate and the empty water bottles.
Downstairs, my mom was asleep again. The yogurt remained unopened. I slipped in quietly to take it back. I didn’t want it to spoil and have her eat it. I found some crackers and left them for her.
When I cleaned up the mess in the kitchen and rambled back upstairs, Gabriel was sleeping in my bed again. Luke was still behind the bookshelf. With the door to the attic open, it made the room warmer. I hit the ceiling fan to help cool things off a little.
I angled my way behind the bookshelf and sat next to Luke on the floor. He was putting together some final touches to his map about the second floor. He wasn’t just doing exit points and a basic outline. He had images of furniture around the house as well. He tapped in the size of the platform in the attic. I had my cheek nearly pressed to his shoulder as I watched him work.
“I didn’t know the platform of the attic space met with the upstairs closet,” I whispered.
“It’s really convenient for us,” Luke whispered back.
“Why?”
He turned his head, pressing his nose to the top of my head. “It’s a secret.”
“Will you tell me?”
His nose rubbed against my hair. “Not this time.”
I pouted. “Is it bad?”
“No.” He shifted until he could thread an arm around my shoulder. His fingertips traced along my collarbone. He worked one handed with the laptop. “I shouldn’t say secret. It’s more like a surprise.”
“You guys are full of secrets.”
“You are, too. Hidden hearts. I heard you know how to read Korean. Plus the sign language.”
“I only know the alphabet,” I reminded him.
“I could show you more, if you want.”
“Where did you learn how to do it?”
His fingers rested at the curve of my throat. “When I first met North, he wouldn’t talk to me. He wouldn’t talk to Uncle, either. I’d say good morning, and he’d walk by me like he didn’t hear me. I thought maybe he was deaf. I learned sign language because I thought he’d know it if he was. I spent two weeks practicing with Kota.”
“You didn’t just ask him if he was deaf?” I asked.
“He wouldn’t talk at all,” Luke said. “I’d ask him a question and it was like he’d drift and wouldn’t answer.”
I sat up and his arm fell away. I was sorry I did it because it was cozy. “You had a brother you didn’t know anything about?”
“I didn’t know he existed. One day when I was eleven, he showed up in the middle of the night. My uncle said we were step brothers but he wouldn’t tell me why or where he came from. That was it. North moved in.”
I couldn’t imagine an 11 or 12-year-old North, quiet and alone. How did he go from traveling around Europe with his father to ending up on Luke’s and their uncle’s doorstep? And he was so vocal now. “Wha
t happened when you tried to talk to him using sign language?”
“He glared at me like I was an idiot.” Luke grinned. “So it didn’t work, but I picked up something new. I used to practice with Kota for a while just for fun but it’s been a few years since I’ve actually used it.” He placed the laptop on the floor. He sat cross legged in front of me. “Let me show you.”
I wanted to ask him how he got North to talk but the topic seemed out of place now. I sat in front of him and he wrapped his hands around my thighs, dragging me across the floor until our knees were touching. I hid a wince as my tailbone struck funny and pain crept up my lower spine. Thankfully he was so focused on where he wanted to place me that he didn’t notice.
When he was satisfied with where I was, he started signing. “This is asking what your favorite color is.”
He showed me the motions and I mimicked as best as I could. When I did one incorrectly, he repeated the motion again and re-positioned my hands. He started with some easier things, like asking about music and movies and showing me how to answer.
When he signed the word for ‘cute’, Gabriel flipped over on the bed. He shoved the blanket away from his face, watching through sleepy eyes.
“So when you do this,” Luke said, motioning with his hands, “you’re saying, ‘You are really cute.’”
I mimicked.
“Why thank you,” he said, winking at me.
I smirked at him.
“Try to guess what this is.” He made different gestures with his hands but at the end he shook his hands in front of himself to indicate it was a question.
I tilted my head at him. “What are you asking?”
He grinned, but his eyes sparked something mischievous. “Say yes.”
“Yes?” I whispered carefully, making hand signs to say it.
“What did you just get her to do?” Gabriel said, yawning.
Luke smirked. He held up five fingers. Since it was out of context, I didn’t quite understand. It took a few moments before I remembered he kept score any time someone at school asked me to marry them.
“God damn it,” Gabriel said, and he must have realized the same thing. He grabbed at my arm, pulling me toward the bed. “You can’t do that shit to her.”