Friends vs. Family

by C. L. Stone

  Kota put a calm hand on his arm. “Alright, we’ll figure this out, but we can’t do it tonight.”

  “There’s nothing to figure out,” I said. “You can’t do anything about dreams.” Suddenly I was desperate for an earthquake or for someone to interrupt. I wanted them to forget about all this. It really didn’t matter to me right now about nightmares. They didn’t mean anything to me. My eyes fell on North’s arms and the blood drying in spots against his forearms. I leaned forward, taking his arm gently. “Oh, North. It is bad.”

  North drew his arm away from me. “I’ll live.”

  I frowned. “We should clean you up.”

  “I agree,” Kota said. “Sang, find the medical kit, okay? I’m going to go calm the others downstairs and we’ll all try to get some sleep. It’s late. We’ll talk in the morning.” He slid his glasses up with a forefinger before turning away, unlocking the door and marching out.

  I jumped off of the counter and dug in the drawers for his medical kit.

  “I don’t need a bandage,” North said. “Just let me wash.” He nudged me away from searching and made me stand behind him as he turned on the sink and started rubbing his arms under the water. The wounds opened again. Blood dripped into the sink.

  “North,” I whispered. I ripped tissues from the box on the counter and collected one of his arms, pulling it close. I applied pressure against the marks. “I’ll sleep on my hands from now on,” I promised. “Maybe I shouldn’t have done this at all. I should have known better--”

  North lifted his other hand out of the water. He pushed two fingers to my lips, drawing my mouth closed. “Stop talking like that.”

  “But...” I mumbled through his fingers.

  “What do you want?” he asked. “Is being locked up by your parents the life you really want? Do you want to leave us?”

  My eyes widened. My head started shaking. No! I didn’t want to leave them at all. They were all I ever had.

  He slipped his fingers away from my mouth. “This is what we are, Sang Baby. You’re one of us now. Your problems are our problems. Running away from us isn’t going to help. So stop it.” He smirked. “Besides, I’m bigger than you. I’ll sit on you if I have to.”

  I closed my eyes, cracking a smile. “North...” I didn’t want to laugh. I didn’t want to go back to crying either. I didn’t know what I wanted. Maybe I did and I was lying to myself. I wanted to feel that connection he did. I wanted to understand.

  He took the tissues from my hands. “I think I’ve stopped bleeding,” he said. He tossed the tissues into the trash and clasped his hand around mine. “Let’s go.”

  Friends hold hands. Friends help each other. Friends were there for you when you had nightmares at a sleepover.

  It was a lot to get used to.

  Downstairs, the lights were off. North held my hand to guide me back to the makeshift bed. I couldn’t see in the dark, but I sensed something wrong. The room felt empty. When my eyes adjusted enough, I realized Nathan, Luke and Gabriel weren’t in the room. North ignored this, dragging me down into my spot and commanding I go to sleep.

  I wondered if Nathan was keeping his promise to look in on my mother that night. I wondered if Luke and Gabriel went with him. If so, what was taking so long?

  Or was the Academy demanding their attention?

  IN It Together

  Cracks of light seeped between my eyelids. My cheek pressed against Silas’s bicep.

  My eyelashes flickered over his skin each time I would partially open my eyes. His face was close enough to the back of my head that his breath swept at my hair. I was lying on my side facing North, who had both of my hands wrapped up in his as he slept. They were both so close I didn’t need the blankets to keep warm. I was so cozy and comfortable. I kept drifting in and out of sleep.

  “It’s time guys.” Kota’s voice drifted softly to us that for a moment I wondered if I had dreamt it.

  Silas stirred. He leaned over me and I felt his lips at my ear. “Aggele mou,” he whispered. “I need my arm back.”

  I groaned, lifting my head up so he could slide away from me.

  When he pulled away, he rolled over and I sensed him sitting up.

  North grunted something and released my hands. He stuffed his arms around my waist and drew me close to him, pulling me underneath his blanket. His hand went to the back of my head to press my face against his chest and he yanked the blanket over our heads. His mouth, chin and nose dropped against the top of my head. The gruff feeling of unshaven face scratched at my scalp. His leg hooked over both of mine.

  He fell still. I snuggled against him, drifting back to sleep. Why didn’t it bug me that he was holding me so close? Maybe if I had been more awake I would have been flipping out that he was doing this but for the moment, I was too sleepy and comfortable to care.

  “North,” Silas said above us.

  “Go away.” North grunted. His fingers gripped at my back against my rib cage to draw me in tighter.

  “If Erica comes out here and sees you like that, she’ll never let us do this again.”

  North mumbled something that even I couldn’t understand.

  “We’ve got to go,” Silas said.

  “Where are you guys going?” I whispered to North.

  He sighed heavily and spoke against my head. “Nowhere, Sang baby. Go back to sleep.” He grunted again and put me down in his spot, slipping away out onto the floor to stand up.

  I wanted to wake up more. I wanted to ask where they were going. It should have bothered me. I pressed my cheek to his pillow, smelling the musk. I felt his warmth still around me and the blanket blocked out the light. As much as I willed myself to sit up and ask the questions, sleep dragged me down again.

  When I woke again, it was Erica hovering over me, shaking my arm. “Sang? Do you want to get up?”

  I sat up quickly, shoving the blanket away and dragged a palm over my eyes to rub away the sleep. Through squinting eyes, I gazed over at the others.

  All of the makeshift beds were empty.

  Erica smiled. She dressed in black yoga pants and an oversized gray t-shirt with USMC scrawled in yellow block lettering across the front. “I recommend if you want a shower, you should do it now.”

  “Where are they?” I asked.

  “Outside,” she said. She pressed a hand to my knee. I willed myself not to flinch at her touch. Somehow the sensation was stronger to pull away when she did that compared to the boys’ touches. I wasn’t sure why. “Come see.” She nodded her head toward the far window.

  I crawled out of North’s spot and wobbled on my feet behind Erica, following her to the dining room. She stopped at the window where the simple white blinds were closed. She threaded her fingers between two blind slats and separated them with her fingers, peeking out into the yard. She stepped back, motioning with her free hand in the direction of the open space to indicate I should look.

  Dawn light blinded me for a moment. I blinked back against it. Familiar voices were shouting and it was enough to wake me fully. I focused.

  All seven of the boys were outside. They were lined up, side by side, faces firm, eyes set. They were doing push-ups in the grass. Each one had matching, fitted gray shirts and sweatpants. They were barefoot. As they moved, they counted off together. I could hear Silas’s booming voice and Victor’s baritone and the others chorused. Kota’s glasses had fogged. They were all sweating, their hair soaked. Gabriel’s arms shook but he kept up with all of them.

  After a few minutes, they jumped up together and started doing jumping jacks, starting together in eerie unison.

  My heart tightened in my chest. My brain couldn’t piece together this puzzle. “What are they doing?” I whispered.

  “From what I understand,” Erica said, her head moving next to mine to gaze out at the boys, “this is a punishment of some sort.”

  “Punishment?”

  “When they’ve been misbehaving too much. I probably shouldn’t say punishment. It�
�s more like a reminder.” Erica sighed, a haunted smile tucked into the corner of her mouth. “My son has been enrolled in the Academy since he was little. When he was twelve, they sent him, everyone, to something like a boot camp for eight weeks.” She paused as there was another change in the boys’ routine. They fell to the ground to do sit ups. “When he got back, he had changed so much. I didn’t really recognize him. He was stronger, faster. He started giving orders like a sergeant. Now whenever they’re together, if there’s a scuffle, the next morning they’re out there.”

  “How long will they keep going?”

  She shrugged. “An hour. Maybe two. It depends on Kota.”

  That’s what it was yesterday. One hour meant working out together that long. “He tells them to? And he does it too? They do it all together?”

  “All in,” she said. “If they do it, he does it. They’re a team. I don’t understand it, really, but they’ve formed this brotherhood. I used to worry about this. I wondered why a twelve-year-old boy was working so hard and how could he order kids, sometimes twice his size, around like that. Instead, ever since then they’ve worked together, they’ve played together. They became each others’ world.” She laughed softly. “To be honest, I never thought they’d talk to anyone else,” she said. She faced me. Her green eyes lit up, familiar like Kota’s. “I thought it was those boys for life.”

  I wanted to share her curious looks. I couldn’t get over how this was my fault. I knew it. I stirred them up. Kota said I was giving them something to fight over. “Is it bad that...”

  She turned on me, grabbing my hands and looking me in the eye. “Sang,” she said. “You’re a bright little girl and for some reason, whatever reason, they’ve picked you to join them. To be honest, I’m rather jealous.”

  My eyes widened. “But why?”

  “I’ve never seen a group of friends like them before. I wish I had friends like that when I was your age.”

  My eyes flicked to the window. “What does it mean?”

  Her smile warmed. “I don’t know what this means. I just have a really good feeling. I’ve asked Kota a million times about why they did certain things. I made him promise me that if he ever wanted out, he would tell me. He never once indicated he would ever leave those boys. The Academy changed everything.”

  I reached over to the window to tug one of the blinds up to look back out at them. The boys were now sitting in circle together, cross legged. Kota talked. They listened. They looked exhausted, especially Luke, Nathan and Gabriel. They were hunched over, with dark circles under their eyes.

  “They’re almost done. This is some pep talk before he dismisses them,” Erica said. She patted my arm. “Go get a shower or you’ll never get any warm water.”

  I didn’t really care about warm water but I did as she suggested. I didn’t want to be there when they came in. I didn’t want them to know I knew.

  I grabbed my bag and ran upstairs to Kota’s room, locking myself into the bathroom just as I heard the back door of the house opening. I couldn’t face them, knowing this punishment was all my fault. If I hadn’t been there, if I hadn’t had that dream, if I hadn’t hurt North or made them bicker, they wouldn’t have had to do it.

  Why was it that no one complained about it? North had resisted at first but he got up and went with them. None of the others said anything about it. They did what Kota said. Kota the boss. Luke and Nathan and Gabriel weren’t even there last night.

  Despite what North said last night, I wasn’t part of them. They didn’t tell me their secrets. I wasn’t really part of the Academy. I wasn’t even included in the punishment when it was my fault in the first place.

  So what did Kota and the others mean? Or were they trying to make me feel better when they said I was one of them?

  I’d slept with Victor’s bracelet on. I removed it, placing it on the counter by the sink. My fingers flicked over the tiny heart attached to it. Victor said he wanted me to open up. Maybe that was what was wrong.

  It was too confusing to think about. North was right. What was I going to do? Run off and tell them to go away? I had to stay, behave, try not to cause any more problems, be as helpful as possible and maybe at some point it would all make sense to me.

  Maybe I had to do what Nathan suggested. Don’t worry about it and eventually they’d figure out where I fit in.

  HAIRCUT

  I turned on the water in Kota’s shower tub, plugging the hole quickly. I didn’t care about hot water. I’d bathe in something lukewarm and save them as much heat as possible. I didn’t work out like they did. I didn’t need it. Plus if I bathed, I’d use less of the warm water anyway.

  When the bath was only a quarter of the way filled, I hopped in, shivering and leaping to my toes at the chill. I cranked up the hot water. I slipped into the tub, kneeling and sitting back on my heels. I forced my chattering teeth closed and powered through, grabbing Kota’s soap and washing.

  The water warmed, and I settled in more, shutting off the faucet. I was rinsing away the last of the soap from my back and chest when there was a knock. The air shifted around me like the door opened.

  “Oy, Trouble,” Gabriel called.

  My spine tingled from my butt to my neck. I shifted up to draw my knees in the water over my chest, and wrapping my arms around my body. I didn’t dare turn around and look at him. I hadn’t drawn the curtain. Could he see me? “Gabriel?”

  “Did you wash your hair yet?”

  Of all things! “No.”

  “Don’t. I’ll wash it. I’ve got something for it.”

  “Ga...”

  “After you put a towel on. Sheesh.” The sound of the door closing caused another tingling to sweep up through me. I peered over my shoulder, but I was alone again. Didn’t I lock the door?

  I really was finished with the bath, but I remained for a moment as if to make sure Gabriel wouldn’t pop his head back in. Did he even do that or did he open the door and call in? I wasn’t sure. I would never know.

  I hopped out quickly, dripping over the blue carpet. I opened the closet door and dug out a plush green towel, big enough that I could wrap myself up. It reached to my mid-thigh while still covering my chest. I hit the drain so the water could flow out. Was I really going to open the door with just a towel wrapped around myself? Gabriel said I needed to trust him, right? Maybe this was part of what I needed to do to become closer to this strange family.

  I stepped behind the door to use as a barrier and opened it slightly. “Gabriel?”

  Gabriel stepped through, with two white unmarked plastic bottles collected in his hands. There were heavy shadows under his eyes. His hair was wet and combed back. He was wearing a neon orange tank top and Levi jeans, barefoot. Deep blue crystals sparked in his lobes, along with the usual three black rings.

  His eyes did a sweep across me in the green towel and his cheeks tinted. “Oh.”

  “You said...” I started. Was he just kidding me? How was I supposed to know? “Do you want me to wash...”

  He rolled his eyes. “Shut the fuck up. I’ll do it.” He jerked his head toward the sink. “Get your head in there, Trouble. We’ve got work to do.”

  “I don’t want to model today,” I said, stepping over to the sink. It’d been a long day yesterday, a long night, and it was already a crazy morning. The last thing I wanted to do was parade in front of the others.

  “No. I’m going to cut your hair. I didn’t have time to do that yesterday.” He dropped the bottles onto the counter and turned the sink faucet on, testing with his fingers to find the right temperature. His eyes were barely open slits as he leaned his body against the sink.

  “Do you have to do it today?” I asked. “You look sleepy.”

  “I’m fine,” he said, his eyes on the water.

  “Are you really?”

  His crystal eyes flashed and settled on my face, puzzled. His smirk shifted and he patted me on the hip. “Come on. I can cut your fucking hair.”

  I swallo
wed, moving to bend over and let the water run over my head, mostly to please him. Maybe if I let him cut my hair, he could take a nap and relax.

  Gabriel remained quiet as he cupped his hand to change the flow to wet my hair. He pulled back to open one of the unmarked bottles he brought in. A dolloped chilled a spot on my head, the coolness sending another shiver through my spine. I adjusted the towel against my body.

  The smell of the shampoo hit my nose. Acidic, a pang of metallic odor. I held my breath, wondering if it would go away. When I breathed in again, the scent lingered strong.

  “Gabriel...”

  His fingers lathered the shampoo into my hair, massaging against my scalp. “What?”

  “It smells.”

  “It’s a special formula. Just let it work.”

  I swallowed, trying to hold my breath. The scent accosted my nose and mouth every time I breathed in. It was like the air was dripping with fermented fish and pennies.

  He rinsed my hair, applied conditioner and had me back my head out of the water so he could work it in. The conditioner was worse than the shampoo, and I moved a hand from the towel to clutch my palm around my nose.

  “It’s not that bad,” Gabriel insisted.

  Was his nose broken? “Will it stick to my hair?”

  “Will you stop worrying? Fucking shit, let me do my job, please?” He pushed my head into the water again.

  He was getting the last of the conditioner rinsed out of the ends of my hair when a knock sounded at the bathroom door.

  “Gabe,” someone called from Kota’s bedroom.

  “What?” Gabriel called back.

  The door rattled and North’s head poked in, his hair messy and dripping water onto his cheeks. His eyes fell on me in the towel, to Gabriel half bent over me with his fingers in my hair, and back to me in the towel.

  “Oh hell no,” he boomed. The door crashed against the bathroom wall. He had a towel wrapped around his waist, one hand clutched at his hip to hold it in place.

  “Get out,” Gabriel barked at him. “I’m washing her hair.”