by Erin Trejo
“Hey,” I say when I see her sitting at the bar with a bottle of beer in her hand. She looks over her shoulder at me and gives me a smile.
“Hey you. You look good all dressed up,” she says nodding toward the gear I’m wearing. I chuckle.
“Yeah, it’s needed though. I wanna be able to fuck you when I get back. Gotta stay in one piece for that.”
Her smile slowly fades. I step closer to her and grab the back of her neck in my hands and spin her around so she’s facing me.
“I meant what I said Whit. You’re mine. I want you. All of you.”
“Even all the bad shit? Even the shit that I can’t handle?” she asks her eyes going wide.
“Even all of the bad shit. I’ll handle it for you. You just have to let me.”
She doesn’t answer me. She just watches me like she always does. I lean down and press my lips to hers. That explosion that I always feel in my chest is there again. When I pull away I smile down at her.
“Gotta go baby. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
Whitley nods sadly before I pull her into my chest. Pressing one last kiss to the top of her head I turn and head toward the door.
The guys are already filtering that way too when I step up and get in line. Once we get outside and the warm night air hits me, I can feel it. It’s a sensation that you will never forget. It’s anticipation. It’s an invisible icy finger slowly sliding up and down your spine. You know what it means, but you don’t know who it belongs to and I can feel it like it was standing right next to me. It’s raw and it’s fucking real. Death.
Viking hollers pulling our attention to him. “This isn’t a game. We all know what we’re up against. We have three of the most powerful drug lords in one space. Nothin’ like this has ever been attempted. We fuck this up, we’re dead. We play this just the way we talked about. So Cal Bastards are in town. They’re already set up and movin’ in. We follow Manuel’s lead. Julio has his men set up as well. We don’t take any shit, but we sure as fuck don’t draw any attention either,” he snaps loudly before he continues. “Shank has set everyone up with an ear piece. We’re all on it to listen, but not talk. You can switch between the live feed, but he’s also got the police scanner feedin’ in. You hear one fuckin’ thing about the cops headin’ our way, you call it in. Got it?” He glances around to look at everyone.
We all nod. We’ve done shit like this before, but never to this magnitude. Taking out two of the major players in the game is scary shit.
“We go in as brothers. We go in as one and we come out the same goddamn way. We don’t take shit, but we don’t offer it up to them on a platter either. This isn’t a game. This isn’t our normal takeover. Are we all on the same page here?”
His eyes land on each guy before landing on mine. My body is on high alert. It’s ready and willing to handle anything that comes our way.
“Let’s move!” Viking roars.
We head to the bikes as each of us climb on. I slip my helmet on when I feel hands on my arm. I look over and see Whitley standing there with fear in her eyes.
“Be careful,” she says so softly I almost didn’t hear her.
“Always baby. I’ll see you when I get back. Yeah?”
I need to hear it. I need her to say it, but she doesn’t and that scares the fuck out of me. I lean in and press my lips to hers once more before she takes a step back.
The bikes rev up and Viking pulls out. That’s my cue. I wink at Whit and pull out behind him while checking my mirror. She stands there with her arms wrapped around herself watching me as I go. I have a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach and I don’t know where it’s coming from. Either way, it’s not going to end well.
That eerie feeling washes over me again as we ride. I’ve never been afraid of anything. I always took things as they were and just kept going, but after meeting Whit I know fear. I fear losing her. I fear finding her in another bathtub. I fear never getting to hold her in my arms when I so damn desperately want to.
Shaking the thoughts from my head, I have to focus. If I don’t, I’ll get myself or one of my brothers killed. I focus on the road and we ride until the junkyard comes into view. Manuel set this meet up, but I know asking Alvaro and Armando to show up was taking a huge risk. I can only hope that Manuel’s brother is as good as they say he is. This shit could end badly for all of us.
Killing the engines we climb off our bikes when I see him. Julio Herrera, fucking prick. I can’t stand him and his overly confident ass. That’s probably why I beat his ass more than once. His eyes linger on mine a little longer than needed before he walks over to Viking. Manuel finds his way to me.
“You ready for this gringo?” he asks. I nod my head.
“You got enough men set up? We can’t risk either one of them gettin’ out of here,” I remind him.
“You’d do good not to doubt me Mason.”
“Not doubtin’, just askin’.”
“Armando is already inside. Here comes Alvaro.”
As soon as the words leave his lips the bullets begin to fly. I drop down and pull my gun from the back of my jeans.
“Viking?” I call out.
“Fire back!” he roars.
I’m the closest to the fucking limo. I take off running firing my gun as the driver tries to maneuver the massive car. It isn’t working in his favor. I fire a round through the front windshield and watch the blood splatter onto the window.
I duck down low next to the car. I’m ready for whatever comes my way. I inch across the ground toward one of the back doors only to see it fly open. I fire low and hit the asshole in the leg. He falls to the ground and I fire again. He’s gone. I wait to see if anyone else is going to get out of the car, and when no one does I move. It’s a risk. I don’t know who the hell is in there. I don’t know if Alvaro even showed up. As I creep closer I can hear the cough. Standing upright I step to the door with my gun aimed and ready. I see two men dead on the floor of the limo and Alvaro bleeding, I grin. Shots are being fired in the distance making it sound like a war zone, but I zero in on Alvaro.
“Did you miss me?” I ask as I climb into the back of the limo. I kick the body in front of me over and drop into the seat across from him as I watch him holding his chest.
“What the hell are you doing Mason?” he screams.
“Takin’ out the fuckin’ trash? Fixin’ what was broken? I don’t really know honestly,” I say with a grin on my face.
“How does it feel?” he asks with a sick grin crossing his face.
“What are you talkin’ about?”
“Having her after me. How does it feel to know that I was already in there? Leaking my seed into that sweet little pussy. She was so fucking tight.”
Anger races through me, but I won’t give him the satisfaction of seeing it. “She was a kid you sick fucker. You ruined her.” My jaw clenches with the need to shove my fist down his throat becoming almost overwhelming.
“I did, didn’t I? And you still took my leftovers,” he laughs. My whole body tenses up. “And how did you like the job I did at the bar? I warned her you know? I told her I’d come back for her,” he chuckles darkly.
“You shot up the bar? You killed all those innocent people?” I roar.
“No one is innocent Mason. You know that as well as I do. What is it you’re thinking you are going to accomplish here? You won’t dare kill me. Armando will kill you and your little club,” he says while waving his bloody hand through the air.
“Yeah, that’s where you’re wrong. Armando is inside waitin’ to see your dead corpse,” I chuckle. His eyes meet mine. Is that fear?
“Lies.”
“Maybe, but you won’t be alive long enough to find out.” Aiming my gun at his head he laughs again.
“You can’t save her. I see that look in your eyes. I fucking ruined her. There’s nothing you can do to change that.”
I swallow hard knowing that he might be right, but I have to try anyway. I need her more than she
knows.
“Killin’ you will still make me feel better.” I pull the trigger and watch as his head explodes from the impact. I lean back in my seat and let out a slow breath.
“Mason!” I hear Viking yelling my name.
“Yeah, I’m good,” I call back to him. I can hear his boots crushing the rock as he moves toward the door. He sticks his head in and smiles.
“Nice.” I nod once and shift in my seat.
“We got a new problem.”
“What the fuck now?”
“Where’s your ear piece?”
Looking around I must have dropped it at some point. Viking passes me his and as I stick it in my ear he keeps his eyes on me. His smile has faded and when I hear those words my heart fades too.
“All units. Attention all units. We have a jumper on the 10th street bridge. I repeat, we have a jumper on the 10th street bridge.”
32
Whitley
I don’t think I’ve ever felt so alive in my life. Watching the cars as they race under the bridge oblivious to the fact that someone is standing on top of it. They have no idea. Life. What does it mean? Does anyone truly know?
I thought I knew once before. I thought that I could use my body and sex to combat what I felt inside. It worked for a while. The more I fucked, the higher I got, the more I forgot. Every attempt at death had been scary. Every attempt had failed. I was a sure-fire failure in that department.
Holding onto the railing I gaze down over the edge. I wonder what it would be like to live in hell permanently. I’ve only ever visited. Never stayed for too long. The devil held my hand, laughed, and kissed me. He stole my breath only to force it back into my lungs so I’d wake up again. I thought for a long time that it was some sort of sick joke the world was playing on me. I couldn’t have possibly survived three attempts at death. Each one is a reminder of everything that I’ve failed in life.
Living? I’ve never lived until I met Mason. All the sick, fucked up things he’d say to me, the way he fucked me, it just all made sense. What shifted it all was the other night when he didn’t fuck me. He made love to me. I never thought that I would feel something that would make me feel so perfect, so real in my life. So loved; he loved me. Even all of the demons from my past couldn’t break through that moment.
“Miss come on, let’s talk about this,” the cop says behind me.
He’s been trying for a few minutes now to talk me down, but he can’t. No one can.
“Go away!”
“I can’t do that.”
“Then shut the fuck up at least.”
Why did he have to try and steal my moment? This is my time. This is my destiny. He wants to ruin that. Just like all the others. He wants to ruin me.
“You might wanna get down from there.”
I gasp. That voice. He can’t be here. How the hell did he even know? How did he find me? Glancing over my shoulder I see Mason shoving one of the cops off of him.
“Mason, just go home,” I tell him looking forward again. I need to let my inner self say her piece before I can jump. That bitch needs to hurry it up. The war in my head has already been lost.
“I will, but only if you come with me.” His voice is closer now. I take a shaky breath and turn around so that I’m facing him. Cops, bystanders, and guys from the club are all standing back about twenty feet watching us.
“You asked me once what Armando did to me that day.” Mason nods his head with his arms hanging limply at his sides.
“I did. You wanna tell me now?” he asks. His voice is hard and firm. I’m glad one of us is holding it together.
“He fucked me. I let him. Then he brought in others. Men, women, they all took their turns. You know, I can handle a lot of things, but being forced wasn’t one of them Mason. It hurt,” I cry. I reach up with one hand and wipe the tears away. I can’t be his weakness. “I cried for you. How stupid was that? A man I barely knew and I wanted you to save me. Armando laughed and said that no one could save me. That I was nothing but garbage. I felt so dirty Mason. I’d never felt like that before.” The tears keep falling down my cheeks even when I don’t want them to. I can’t seem to stop them.
“You aren’t dirty Whit. You are the purest thing I’ve ever laid my eyes on. You are special. You are vibrant. You don’t let the world shut you down. You push yourself harder than anyone I’ve ever met. Don’t do this. I love you Whitley.”
I gasp as the words leave his lips. “You can’t love me. I’m broken.”
“I’ll fix you. I’ll fix us.”
Turning slowly around I look back down at my fate. My heart is a mess. It thunders in my chest. I can do this. I know I can. Just one step. One little push.
“You asked me how my sister died.”
Mason’s voice cracks behind me. I can’t look at him. My head is a mess. I’m fighting a war inside of myself. Do I jump or fall into Mason? I can’t fucking be what he needs.
“She jumped off this very bridge. A few miles down. I was too late. She didn’t listen to me. I’m beggin’ you Whitley. Do you fuckin’ hear me? I’m fuckin’ beggin’ you to stay with me.”
I can practically hear the tears in his voice. Sobs shake my body as reality sets in. I need to do this. Nothing can fix me. Not even Mason, or can he? Can he be the one that makes it all go away? Can I let go and just fall into his arms and let him love me?
“Whit? My chest hurts. It aches when you’re not with me. I hate it. The bastards that hurt you can’t touch you again. I promise you that.”
What the hell did he do? I turn my head and glare at him. He nods his head confirming my thoughts. He killed them. He did it for me.
“I promised you that they would never hurt you again. I don’t break my promises Whitley. And right now I’m promisin’ you that if you get off there and come home with me, I’ll fix you. I’ll make you whole. I’ll do whatever the hell you want me to do. Just don’t leave me. I lost her Whit. She was everything I had. Now you’re standin’ there and tryin’ to leave me too. Stay with me Whit. I can’t lose you too.”
His eyes fill with tears. My heart shatters into a million pieces. I nod my head slowly. Mason moves toward me slowly but with purpose. When he’s standing right next to the rail he wraps his arms around me and lifts me over. He falls to the ground with me in his arms. He cries. I’m crying. The hardest man I’ve ever met in my life cries with me.
“You mean everything to me Whitley. I love you,” he sobs into my neck.
“I love you too.”
Epilogue
Mason
Seven Months Later
Leaning in close to her ear I whisper, “Keep shakin’ that slutty little ass of yours and I’ll make you pay for it.” Her body trembles, but she laughs. I step away from her and watch her giggle with a few of the other girls.
“Now, Mr. Swartz how dare you say that to me? What kind of girl do you take me for?” she teases me. Her tits are resting on the bar in front of her for everyone to see. I should spank her ass in front of everyone for that.
“I take you for the kind of girl that likes me to fuck her in random alleys, hotels, up against the wall in the kitchen. You tell me darlin’.” I wink at her. Whit laughs and throws her head back.
“Pick your pleasure baby. You know I like it.”
She winks back at me. Viking slaps a hand on my shoulder with his eyes lingering a little too long on her chest. Whitley notices and flashes him a nipple. I swear to all things holy that this girl is going to kill me.
“How’s everything?” Viking asks.
I bring my beer to my lips and shrug. “You see her everyday brother.”
He chuckles as I keep my eyes on her.
“She seems happy. What’s the shrink say?”
Whitley has come a long way in the last seven months. After her little stunt on the bridge, she had to be hospitalized. I knew it was coming, but when she stayed in there for a fucking month I nearly lost my shit. The girl was far more screwed up than any of us kn
ew.
She wouldn’t see Jackson or me at all for the entire month. Jackson and I talked regularly about her, but he only knew about as much as I did. It hurt a part of me to know that she was going through her own living hell by herself in that hospital, but I also knew she needed to work on herself.
I gave her space and then the day came that she could come home. I was there waiting for her. My home had now become our home. Whitley saying she’d move in with me was the best thing that’s ever happened to me. We stay up at night talking about her therapy sessions, Briann, and well everything. Even the little things that don’t matter to most people. Those things matter to us.
“Said she’s doin’ good. She’s movin’ on like she should be.”
I watch her walk around the backyard of our house chatting away with the other guys. She looks perfectly happy now. I walk away from Viking and sneak up behind her. I wrap my arms around her waist, pull her into me, and let my lips linger on her neck. “How about you come inside and show me what the pleasure was you were teasin’ me about earlier?”
Whit laughs and turns her head to look up at me. “This is a party Mason. What kind of hostess would I be if I didn’t get drunk and dance on some tables? Besides, we have our whole lives for me to show you that pleasure.”
“You’re goddamn right we do.”
The end.
Afterword
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