by Alexa Riley
For some reason I know I have to tell him about the guy from the other day. It’s been bugging me and I think it might be a problem. I tell him about the lawyer showing up and how he made me feel. Mike sits quietly for a minute while I spill the whole incident. Afterwards he’s silent for a beat then nods.
“All right. I know you already know, but set the alarm when you go in.”
“I will,” I tell him. I wave goodbye, walk up my sidewalk and unlock the door, pausing to do as I’ve been instructed. Afterwards, I walk over to the sofa and drop my purse on the floor.
When I sit down Rocco’s letters fall out of my purse onto the floor. I lean down and pick them up, knowing right now this is the one thing that will make me feel better. I grab my pen and paper and decide to write to him.
Today was another reminder of how short life can be. It makes me want to go and see him now, but I know that’s not how this works. There are so many things I want to tell him about how I feel, but I don’t want him to think I’m crazy. I also don’t want to worry him.
I do the best I can as I let my pen drift across the page and I pour out whatever comes to mind. I decide it’s best to write whatever comes from my heart because that’s what he deserves.
My heart has belonged to him since the day he saved me, so there’s no use in trying to deny him it now.
Chapter 10
Lizzy
I smooth my dress out as I stand in front of the mirror in the master bedroom. I scrutinize the outfit and wonder if this is the one I should go with. It’s a soft peachy pink and I love the way it fits tight at the top and flares out around my waist. It’s soft and pretty and I know it fits the guidelines I have to follow to be able to go see Rocco. I don’t want to break any of the rules. I’d be devastated if they denied me a visit.
I’ve been waiting for this moment for so long I want everything to go off without a hitch. I don’t know why but I have this nagging feeling this might be my only chance to see him. I’m scared he’s going to change his mind about me coming to see him.
I know he wants to see me, but he also sees me as this soft sweet girl that shouldn’t be coming to a prison. Maybe I am but I don’t care. I’d go anywhere to see him. I want him to see this isn’t only about him saving me. It’s about so much more. I want to be with him and this is the way to show him.
I turn to get a view of myself from behind and I think it’s a little sexy. I shamelessly told Rocco in my last letter what I’d be wearing under my dress today. I'm not sure what came over me, but before I could change my mind I sealed the letter and dropped it into the mail.
I might not be able to touch him, but I wanted something between us that’s more intimate than sitting across the table from him. I need it and I hope that this small dirty thing will give it to us. I look over myself one last time before I go over to Mrs. Honey’s house and ask her what she thinks of it.
She got home a few days ago and I’m thanking God she was okay. There aren’t any long-term side effects and I know this scared everyone. Somehow she ingested something she shouldn’t have and her doctors are still running tests to try and narrow down what it might have been.
I went to her house and threw everything out, then cleaned her kitchen from top to bottom. Still, something sat wrong with me about the whole thing. I can’t put my finger on it, but what I can do is keep a better eye on her. God knows her son isn’t going to do it.
“Mrs. Honey,” I call out as I knock on the door then push it open. No matter how many times I tell her she needs to lock her door she doesn’t. She’s set in her ways.
“In here,” she calls out from her kitchen, and when I walk in she turns to see me. “Oh my. You’re going to kill that man,” she laughs as her face lights up with a smile.
“It meets code.” I say as I double-check the length of the dress. Nothing is stopping me from seeing Rocco today.
“You look beautiful.” She walks over and cups my face. “You’re going to give him a reason to get out as soon as he can,” she adds, wiggling her eyebrows and making me flush.
“Mrs. Honey!” I gasp at her innuendo even though it was what I was going for. I want him to see me as sexy and not just the girl he saved. He always talks about how sweet and innocent I am.
He has no idea the thoughts I have in my head about his rough side. I’ve always been a bigger girl and I’ve been thinking to myself that I’m built this way to handle a man as big as Rocco. I won’t break under his firm hold.
“Go see your man,” she says as she kisses me on each cheek.
“I’ll bring dinner back with me,” I tell her and walk out the front door. She’ll be waiting to hear all about me getting to finally see Rocco. She’s the only person in my life that gets it.
It’s doesn’t take me long to get my things together and get on the road. The drive is over an hour and it feels like an eternity.
I swallow when I see the prison in the distance and my eyes start to water. I’m thinking about how Rocco has to spend every day locked inside there for saving me and it makes me emotional. It’s such bullshit, and as happy as I am that he saved me, I wish I’d never gone on that date to begin with. He could be out living his life as a free man.
I wipe the tears away as I get closer, not wanting to show that I’ve been crying. I don’t want to put a damper on today and I know Rocco won’t like knowing I’ve been upset.
I give my driver’s license to the guard before they open the gates to let me in. I pull into the parking lot and put the slip they gave me in my window. I put on some lip gloss and give my hair one last check before I grab my bag. How can I be so scared and excited at the same time? I take a deep breath and step out of the SUV as I look at the giant concrete building that Rocco is inside of. My eyes sting again but I fight it. I have to be strong.
I also need to remember to keep it together in there. I’m not sure if I’m going to throw myself at him the second I see him or turn into my introverted self and let my shyness take over. Writing letters is so easy and I can say anything I want. I let my pen go and tell him anything and everything that comes to mind.
Today I’ll get to look into his eyes and watch his expressions as I talk. I’ll see the way he looks at me and if he really thinks I’m as pretty as he says. I smile when I think about the letter he sent requesting more photos.
I made the mistake of telling one of the girls I had class with about Rocco. Sometimes it’s hard to not talk about him. When I made a slip about him she wanted to know all the details. At first I thought she was being friendly, but looking back I know she only wanted gossip to tell other people about me. Not only that, she told me to stop being pathetic because Rocco was only giving me attention because he has nothing better to do. Who else is going to write him every day, she said to me as she rolled her eyes. Her words stung, and as much as I tell myself they weren’t true, a tiny insecure part of me asks, what if she’s right?
I lick my lips as I open one of the oversized metal doors and step inside. In the waiting room I’m told to go to the guard at the gate and once I get there, six armed guards turn to look at me as I enter.
“I’m here to see Rocco Lang,” I say, holding my chin high. I don’t feel any shame because I know my man didn’t do anything wrong.
Chapter 11
Rocco
I didn’t sleep at all last night. How could I after her last letter? She told me she’d be wearing soft pink lacy panties and a matching bra. She just added it in like I wouldn’t turn into an animal at the thought.
My hand cramps after jerking off so many times. My cock is in pain, but it’s not from being sore, it’s because nothing would take away my need for her. The fact that I know she’s going to be right across the table from me has kept me pacing in my cell all night like a caged lion. I’m not sure how I’m going to control myself when I finally get to see her.
It feels like weeks instead of hours, but finally when the guard comes over to my cell and opens it up I’m on my way to h
When I get to the visitation room the guard walks me over to a table and uncuffs me. I’m considered a non-violent offender so I’m allowed to embrace my visitor once at the beginning and once at the end, but there’s no touching otherwise. I have to keep my hands where they can see them and someone will be watching us at all times.
I let out a sigh when I sit down at the metal bench and table. She shouldn’t be here. I glance around the room at all the prisoners waiting to see their loved ones and I clench my fists. She shouldn’t have to be among these men, and I know they’ll see her and be thinking about her later. Just like I will.
I drop my head into my hands and I don’t know if I can do this. Maybe I should just tell the guard I don’t want to see her and go back to my cell. I’m so goddamn selfish that I agreed to let her do this, but I’m having regrets. I can’t let this touch her.
“Rocco?”
The soft sound of my name has me jerking my head up and the sight that greets me is enough to knock the wind out of me. I can’t speak as I slowly rise from the seat and tower over her small frame. I’d forgotten how small she is compared to me, but I didn’t forget how beautiful she is. Her dark blue eyes are more powerful than the picture, because not only do they look into my soul but they see through every part of me. I’m raw in front of her and there’s no place for me to hide.
“Lizzy,” I say, and it’s like I haven’t used my voice in a decade. I can’t even remember the last time I spoke. Maybe I’ve been saving it this whole time for her.
Before I know what’s happening her arms are around my waist. I close my eyes as my arms wrap around her back and I press my nose to the top of her head. She smells like summer and lemons and she’s so clean and pure. The feel of her soft body against my big one is so drastic but perfect at the same time. I don’t ever want to let her go, but I hear the guard’s footsteps getting close.
Reluctantly I release her and we each take a side of the table. My arms are useless without her and I’m suddenly angry that she’s here. Doesn’t she know how much this is going to make me suffer? Before I didn’t know what it was like to touch her and now that I do, I’ll never be satisfied until I can do it all the time.
“Are you mad at me?” she asks as she looks up at me with big watery eyes.
“No,” I say, clenching my jaw. I can’t do anything right. I take a deep breath and shake my head as I look out the window and then back to her. “You shouldn’t be here.”
“I knew you were going to say that.”
Her hair is down and in soft waves and I long to sink my hands in it. I want to get her in the shower and wash it for her and then brush it when we go to bed. I have to close my eyes so that I don’t rip the table from the floor just to get closer to her.
“You’re so clean,” I say as I stare down at my hands on the table.
She laughs and I jerk my head up. “I took a shower.” She shrugs like I’m making a joke.
“I don’t want to get this place on you. You deserve better.”
“You deserve better too,” she says, and this time I meet her eyes. “It’s my fault you’re here.”
“Lizzy,” I say again, and I want to whisper her name into her ear while I’m top of her. “I’m here because I didn’t get a fair trial. I pleaded guilty because I knew they are all dirty and it would only drag everything out. They might even have put you on the stand. I didn’t want that. But I don’t regret for a single moment doing what I did. If I’m stuck in here for life, then it was worth it to protect you.”
Her cheeks redden as she tucks her chin and looks down at her lap.
“I just meant that there’s something about this place that you get on you and you can’t wash it off. I don’t want that to follow you around.” I finally let my eyes travel below her neck and to her body. “You are so fucking beautiful.”
She looks at her outfit as if seeing it for the first time before she looks up at me. “Thank you.”
“Did you wear that for me?”
She nods and bites her lip and I know we’re both thinking the same thing.
“And underneath?”
She nods again and I lick my lips. I bet her pussy is wet right now and it’s touching pale pink lace. Would it be damp when I touched my lips to it? Would she smell like sunshine there, too?
“It’s all for you.” Her gaze meets mine and I have to force myself to breathe.
“Why?” I ask the question I can’t stop from spilling out.
“Why would I do this for you?” Her eyebrows pull together in confusion.
“Why would you write letters to a man in prison that almost killed someone? Why would you call Congress and Supreme Court judges daily to get him out? Why would you come in here dressed like an angel with a pussy so sweet and juicy I can smell it from here? Why would you look at me like you want me to crawl over this table and fuck you on the floor?”
Her lips part as she gasps and for a second I think I’ve done it. I’ve scared her so completely that she’ll run out of here screaming and never look back. But to my utter shock she leans forward and looks directly into my eyes.
“Because I want you out of here so you can do those things to me.”
A warm pulse of desire slides down my back and all the way to my cock. It’s thick and pulsing with need and when she leans back and sits up straight I have to sit there like she hasn’t just rocked my whole fucking world. I can hardly breathe as her words sink in and I nod.
“You better be careful what you ask for.”
“I think I can decide for myself what I can handle.”
As crazy as it sounds I haven’t been really thinking about getting out. I was planning on doing my time and figuring out life after I was paroled. There are things waiting on me outside these walls, but what did I really have to live for before her? Now I’m sitting here staring at everything I’ve ever wanted and I’m ready to do what it takes to get out of this place.
“I’ve been contacted by my lawyer telling me we’ve got a case,” I say, and her eyes widen in surprise. “I don’t know how you’ve done it, but they’re reviewing all the notes from the trial and I’m waiting to hear what happens next.”
“Does this mean you could get out sooner?” There’s too much hope in her voice and I don’t want to break it.
“I don’t know.” I answer honestly because it could go either way. If they find fault in the documents, then I could get a mistrial and go free really fucking soon. But if they don’t it’s at least another year before I’m up for parole. There wasn’t the urgency before that there is now, and I’ve got her to thank for that.
“I’ll keep calling, I’ll keep emailing. Whatever it takes to get you free.”
“You’ve already done the hard part. That was getting someone to listen.” She looks shy when I praise her and part of me loves it.
“I can be persistent.”
“I’ve noticed,” I say, and I feel myself smiling for the first time in a long time.
“Don’t look at me like that,” she says, and she sounds breathy as she stares at my mouth.
“Like what?”
“With that smile. It’s going to make it impossible for me to leave you here.” She glances around and already we’re closing in on our time.
“I need to tell you something but I don’t want to hurt you,” I say, and her eyes come back to mine.
“Okay,” she says, steeling herself.
“I don’t want you to come see me again.” I can’t help myself and I reach for her hands. I hold them in mine and they’re so soft and warm. “You can’t be in this place. Not for me, not for anything.”
“Rocco—”
“Promise me,” I say, cutting her off. “Promise me you won’t visit me again.”
“Hands!” I hear the guard behind me shout and I let her go. I don’t have much time but I don’t want it cut short.
“Promise me, Lizzy. Promise me you’ll keep yourself safe and you’ll stay as far away from here as you can.”
“And if you get out?” Her big blue eyes look up at me and I nod.
“I’m coming for you. But until then, write to me every day. It’s the only thing getting me through this.”
Her eyes water and she gives me a soft smile as she nods. It’s all I can give her for now, but maybe it will be enough.
“Time’s up,” the guard says and we stand.
This time I’m the one to pull her into me and for a moment the prison walls fall away and there are no bars. We’re alone and I’m holding her and it’s all I’ve ever wanted.
“Time to go, Lang,” the guard says, and it takes everything in me to let her go.
She stands there as I take a step back and he puts the shackles on me. I don’t want her to see this and to witness my shame, but my need to keep my eyes on her wins out.
“Be safe,” I say again, and she nods as she touches her fingers to her lips, then blows her kiss to me.
It might seem silly, but right now I can’t touch her and it’s all that I have. I close my eyes and I swear I can feel it hit me as the guard grabs my arms and pulls me away from the woman I’m so desperate to have.
Chapter 12
Rocco
It’s later in the evening when I’m in the shower that I feel someone watching me. I’m on a block with about fifty guys so we have to shower in shifts. I glance over my shoulder and see someone I haven’t seen before and guess he’s a new inmate. I don’t know why he’s got his eyes on me but it doesn't feel right.
I shut off the water to my shower and go over to the wall and grab my towel. I wrap it around my waist as I try to keep him in the corner of my eye. I glance to where the officers are usually stationed at the opening of the shower, but they’re gone. Immediately the hair on the back of my neck rises and I turn around just in time to see the new guy coming at me, holding something metal and sharp.
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