Tea Time for the Traditionally Built

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Tea Time for the Traditionally Built Page 18

by Alexander McCall Smith


  “Have you found this man, Mma Ramotswe? You have had quite a few days now. Which one is it?”

  Mma Ramotswe raised an eyebrow, silently mouthing the liquid syllables of his name to let Mma Makutsi know who was on the other end of the line: Molofololo.

  “We have been making good progress, Rra,” she assured him. “My assistant and I are actively interviewing the players on that list you gave us. We are uncovering a considerable amount of information. Many interesting things.”

  “Such as?” Mr. Molofololo snapped.

  Mma Ramotswe hesitated. She could hardly tell him—at this stage at least—that some of the players, possibly most of them, found him an irritation. Nor did she want to tell him that Big Man Tafa was in debt and that he wanted Rops out of the way, or that Oteng Bolelang was arrogant and considered Big Man Tafa to be in need of glasses. So she simply said, “Many interesting things, Rra, that I shall be using to build up a picture of what's going on.”

  “But I know what's going on,” said Mr. Molofololo. “What's going on is that one of my players is throwing the matches. We have a traitor, Mma, and that is why I'm paying you good money to find out who it is.”

  Mma Ramotswe thought that she might point out that he had paid nothing so far. She had asked for a small sum on account, but her request had been ignored.

  “I think we should meet soon, Rra,” she said. “Then we can have a good talk about the case. It's not easy to talk about these things on the telephone.”

  Mr. Molofololo was quick to accept the offer. “You could come to the match on Saturday,” he said. “We're playing the Molepolole Squibs. Come to that and we can talk then.”

  Mma Ramotswe thought of her weekend. She had already sacrificed one precious Saturday afternoon to sit watching an unintelligible set of events unfolding on the pitch, and she did not see any point in doing that again. Puso, on the other hand, would very much see the point.

  “I think that it is best to talk somewhere else,” she said. “There is always too much going on at a football match and … and I must be discreet, you know.”

  “Ah yes,” said Mr. Molofololo. This was how he imagined detectives operated—discreetly. “You're right, Mma. Keep a low profile. But what about Puso—that is his name, isn't it? He is a good little boy—would he like to come to the match?”

  “He would like that very much, Rra. You are very kind.”

  “And then we can talk on Monday?”

  “On Monday, Rra. And by then, I hope, I shall have something for you.”

  She regretted that remark the moment she had made it. It was a bad mistake to tie yourself down to deadlines—it was a bad mistake to make promises in general—but there was something about Mr. Molofololo's manner—his pushy, rather hectoring style—that led to this. Was this what the players objected to, she wondered, and could it have triggered sufficient resentment in some breast to motivate treachery?

  She replaced the receiver after her conversation with Mr. Molofololo and exchanged glances with Mma Makutsi.

  “More interviews, I'm afraid, Mma,” she said.

  Mma Makutsi shrugged. “We will know a lot about football at the end of it all, Mma. We will be able to talk to men about it.”

  Mma Ramotswe chuckled. “I believe that there are some ladies who learn about football in order to do just that. They know that that is what men like to talk about. It helps them find men.”

  “Violet Sephotho,” said Mma Makutsi.

  Mma Ramotswe kept a tactful silence.

  “Yes, Violet Sephotho is the sort who would do that,” Mma Makutsi went on. “Football, furniture—she'll do anything to get her hands on a man.”

  “Are you still worried?” asked Mma Ramotswe.

  “Of course I'm worried, Mma. Phuti is a good man, and I trust him. But even a good man can sometimes be … not so good.”

  Mma Ramotswe had to agree. She had come across so many different types of people in her job, and she knew that even those who were strong could find times when they were weak. It was not really their fault, because we were all human and being human made us weak. But it happened.

  “Have you heard anything else?”

  Mma Makutsi did not reply immediately, and Mma Ramotswe knew from her silence that there had been something else.

  “I have heard something,” Mma Makutsi said eventually. “I met one of the ladies who works in Phuti's shop. It was in the supermarket. She told me that over the last few days, Violet has sold even more beds. Apparently Phuti is so pleased that he has been talking about promoting her to …” She paused. It clearly cost some effort just to say it. “Assistant manager.”

  Mma Ramotswe was shocked. “Of the whole store?”

  Mma Makutsi shook her head. “No, not the whole store. But of that floor. Assistant floor manager.”

  Mma Ramotswe whistled. “That is very bad, Mma. But how has she been selling all these beds? Is she really such a great saleslady?”

  “It is a mystery,” said Mma Makutsi. “Maybe she is persuasive. I don't know. But one thing she did tell me, Mma—that other woman—she said that all the customers, except for one, were men.”

  Mma Ramotswe had been sitting back in her chair during this conversation; now she sat bolt upright.

  “Men, Mma?”

  “Men.”

  Mma Ramotswe rose to her feet. She did not go anywhere— she simply rose to her feet, and Mma Makutsi knew this for the signal that it was. Mma Ramotswe had experienced a moment of insight.

  “Mma Makutsi,” she said, her voice quiet, but tense with excitement. “Please go and see if Charlie is free. Even if he isn't free, ask him to come in here and talk to me.”

  Mma Makutsi headed for the door. “What do you want to ask him to do, Mma?”

  “He needs to buy a bed,” said Mma Ramotswe.

  CHARLIE CAME IN BEAMING. There had been an increasing jauntiness about him recently, noticed by both Mma Ramotswe and Mma Makutsi, but commented upon by only one of them.

  “He's up to something, Mma,” said Mma Makutsi. “See the way he's walking? See the way his legs go up and down like that?”

  “But everybody's legs go up and down,” Mma Ramotswe pointed out mildly.

  It was as if Mma Makutsi had not heard. “And his bottom, Mma. I do not wish to be indelicate, but see how his bottom sticks out.”

  “Everybody's bottom sticks out,” said Mma Ramotswe. “That is normal, Mma.” She paused. There were exceptions, of course. Those thin, modern people who spent all their energy on reducing the size of their clothing—they must have a most uncomfortable time of it sitting down, with very little padding.

  And now here was Charlie sauntering into the office, wiping his hands on one of the pieces of lint that Mr. J.L.B. Matekoni insisted on using, in spite of the ubiquity of paper towels.

  “What is it, Mma Ramotswe?” he asked. “Are you ladies having difficulty adding figures or something like that? I'm your man for that. Best in class for mathematics at the Botswana Automotive Trades College—two years running. One, two, three, four—I'm your man.”

  “Excuse me,” said Mma Makutsi as she made her way back to her desk. “If you were best in class at that college of yours, then why have you not finished your apprenticeship? Answer that, Mr. Charlie.”

  Charlie did not look at Mma Makutsi, but addressed Mma Ramotswe in the tone of one unjustly attacked. “You hear that, Mma Ramotswe? You hear what that lady over there has said? Not everyone finishes their apprenticeship in double-quick time. It is sometimes better to do things thoroughly. You should not rush.”

  “Of course, Charlie,” said Mma Ramotswe soothingly. “You finish your apprenticeship in your own time. It does not matter. Some people never even do an apprenticeship.”

  She had not intended this to be a jibe, but Charlie seized on it immediately. Spinning round, he pointed triumphantly at Mma Makutsi. “Some detectives, for example, Mma! Some people who call themselves assistant detectives never did a detective apprenticeshi
p in their lives! Ha!”

  “Hush, Charlie,” said Mma Ramotswe. “We do not want to have an argument in here. This office is a peaceful place. This is Botswana, remember.”

  “She …”

  Mma Ramotswe cut him short. “Now, look, Charlie, we have a very important job for you. This is something that requires a very good actor. Somebody who could be in films …”

  “If he finished his apprenticeship,” chipped in Mma Makutsi.

  Mma Ramotswe threw a discouraging glance at her assistant. “Please! Please! Thank you! Now what we want you to do, Charlie, is to come with us—with Mma Makutsi and me. We are going to the Double Comfort Furniture Shop—you know, that's the place that belongs to Mr. Phuti Radiphuti.”

  “Old Phuti,” said Charlie.

  “And once we get there,” Mma Ramotswe persisted, “we would like you to go in and pretend that you are interested in buying a bed. Go to the bed department and you will find a lady there called Violet …”

  “Violet Sephotho!” exclaimed Charlie. “The one we chased in the supermarket. The one with the bottom like that.” He made an expansive gesture.

  Mma Ramotswe shook her head. “You should not talk like that, Charlie. But yes, she is a very glamorous lady.”

  “Oh, is that what husband-stealers are called these days?” interjected Mma Makutsi. “That is a very good name for such a lady, I think.”

  Mma Ramotswe allowed this to pass. “Yes, she is a glamorous lady, Charlie. And all I want you to do is to pretend that you are very interested in buying a bed. Say that you have just moved here from Francistown. Say that you had a very good job there with one of the mining companies, and now you are going to be based in Gaborone and need a new bed. Tell her that you would like a double bed—that you are not married or anything like that, but that you would like a good-sized bed. That is all you have to say.”

  Charlie clapped his hands together enthusiastically. “I am a very good actor, Mma. This will be no problem.”

  “I'm sure you're a good actor, Charlie. I'm sure you'll do it very well. But one thing: Could you pretend that you're not too sure about the bed she tries to sell you? Say that you will have to think about it and that you may need to look at beds in some other shops. Pretend to be one of those customers who always need persuading.”

  “And then?”

  “And then, after you have said all this, and she has said all that she says, you can say that you have to go, but that you will be back later. Don't sign anything, whatever you do.”

  “I never sign things, Mma,” said Charlie. “If you give people your name, then they get you. I have always known that. Watch out is my motto!”

  Mma Makutsi thought this very amusing. “Good one, Charlie. Watch out, here comes Charlie. Good motto, Charlie.”

  Mma Ramotswe allowed herself a small smile at this, as did Charlie. This banter between Mma Makutsi and Charlie was not all that serious, she thought. In fact, she believed that underneath it all they probably liked each other, difficult though it was at times to see this affection in action. People have strange dealings with one another, Mma Ramotswe felt: those who appear on the surface to be friends may in reality be enemies—but how could you tell? And did it happen the other way round? Take Mr. Molofololo: he had many enemies, it seemed, or at least many people who appeared not to like him for some reason or other. But how many of these enemies were really friends? It was easy to imagine why an enemy might wish to appear a friend, but why, she wondered, would a friend claim to be an enemy?

  Mma Makutsi now raised an objection. “One thing about this plan, Mma: What if she recognises Charlie from that time in the supermarket?”

  Mma Ramotswe had thought of that and discounted the possibility. The encounter in the supermarket had been fraught, but it had mainly involved her and Mma Makutsi. Charlie had been in the background and had said nothing, which meant that in the heat of the altercation Violet probably barely noticed him.

  “She won't recognise him,” she said. “And, anyway, even if she does, it won't matter. Even young men who work in garages need beds, don't they?”

  “We all need a bed,” mused Mma Makutsi. “Everybody needs a bed.”

  Mma Ramotswe nodded. “That is certainly well known,” she said.

  Mma Makutsi looked thoughtful. “One other thing, Mma. Why are you asking Charlie to do this? What do you hope to prove?”

  “We'll see,” Mma Ramotswe replied. “Sometimes you don't know what you're looking for until you find it. Would you not agree, Mma?”

  “I'm not sure, Mma. I would have to think about it.”

  “Well, it's true,” said Mma Ramotswe. “It really is.”

  THEY PARKED THE BLUE VAN outside the Double Comfort Furniture Shop, and while Charlie made his way inside, Mma Ramotswe and Mma Makutsi sat in the cab of the van, the windows down for the heat. Fortunately, they had found some shade under one of those handy acacia trees that in the hot weather were to cars like honeycombs to bees. This one already had several vehicles nudged under its shade, but there was just enough room for the blue van.

  After ten minutes, Mma Makutsi began to get anxious. “What is he doing in there, Mma? Do you think that he'll be trying out all sorts of chairs and things? Phuti says that some people come in just to sit in his comfortable chairs. He says that they often have no intention of buying anything. Sometimes he finds people asleep in the big armchairs and he has to wake them up.”

  In bringing up the subject of chairs, she reminded herself of Phuti's promise to give her a new one for the office. She had not raised the matter again, and now was unsure what to do about it. The problem was that she felt that she could not have a new chair while her boss, Mma Ramotswe, still had an old one. And yet if she declined Phuti's offer, then he would surely be offended … It was all very difficult.

  Mma Ramotswe, meanwhile, had been envisaging Phuti's customers sitting in those comfortable armchairs. “We all need to sit down,” she said.

  “Yes, but not in chairs that don't belong to us,” countered Mma Makutsi. “That's the trouble with this country, Mma—there are too many people sitting down in other people's chairs.”

  It was another of Mma Makutsi's odd statements—utterly unfounded in fact, Mma Ramotswe suspected, but not a point that she wished to argue. As far as she was concerned, if a chair was empty, then anybody should be welcome to sit in it. We should share our chairs, she felt. Maybe that was the real problem with the modern world—not enough of us were prepared to share our chairs. Yes, that was probably true, and she wondered whether she might not have a word with Bishop Mwamba and suggest that he talk about that in a future sermon. He could start off, perhaps, by asking the members of the congregation whether they had noticed how many chairs there were and how many of them were empty. That would get them thinking. But where would it go from there? That would be up to Bishop Mwamba, she decided: he was good at sermons, and he would surely find some way of deriving an important lesson from chairs.

  This line of thought led to Professor Tlou. Mma Ramotswe was a great admirer of Professor Tlou, and she had read somewhere a reference to the fact that he had a chair of history. She knew that this was just a way of talking—that it simply meant that he was a professor of the history of Botswana—but she thought that it would be rather nice if the university were to give him an actual chair to go with the title. The chair of history, she felt, would have to be a very old chair, one of those chairs made out of dark hardwood with carved legs and an elaborate criss-cross seat of tightened animal-hide strips. It would be a very venerable chair, that chair, and quite unlike a chair of music, which would issue little musical squeaks when you sat in it, or which would make a sweet singing sound if it were left outside and the wind blew through it.

  Her thoughts were interrupted by a nudge from Mma Makutsi.

  “He's coming, Mma,” she hissed. “Look.”

  Charlie walked jauntily out of the front door of the shop and made directly for the van. There was no room
for him in the cab— he had travelled in the open section at the back—but they needed to talk to him now and so they both got out to greet him and led him to a shady place under the acacia.

  “Well?” asked Mma Ramotswe.

  Charlie rolled his eyes heavenwards. “She's quite a lady, that one! One, two, three!”

  “Never mind all that, Charlie,” said Mma Makutsi impatiently. “What happened?”

  “Give him time, Mma,” said Mma Ramotswe. “Tell us, Charlie, but take your time about it. Try to remember everything, please.”

  Charlie enjoyed being the centre of attraction. “Well now,” he began. “I went into the store. That's quite a store, Mma Ramotswe! No wonder Mma Makutsi is happy to be engaged to that Phuti! Big store, Mma. Big store.”

  Mma Ramotswe coaxed him on. “Yes, yes, Charlie. But what about the bed?”

  Charlie smiled. “I found that lady you were talking about— that Violet lady. My, my! Pretty lady that one. Pretty lady! Anyway she comes up to me—like this, this is how she walks, see—and she says, You're looking for a bed, Rra? Yes? This is the right place. You've come to the best place in Botswana for beds. And so on.”

  “And then?”

  “And then she says, This bed here, Rra, is a very good bed for you, I think. Try it. She said that I should lie down on the bed and see whether it was comfortable. So I did that. And while I was lying down, she comes up beside me and says, You look very handsome there, Rra, lying on that bed—very handsome. So I sit up and she says, What do you think of that bed, Rra—isn't it the most comfortable bed you've ever tried? And then she says, I'm sure a handsome young man like you, Rra, has slept in many beds! And she laughed.”

  Mma Ramotswe and Mma Makutsi exchanged disapproving glances.

  “And then, Charlie?” pressed Mma Ramotswe. “And then what happened?”

  “Then I got up and poked at the mattress with my finger and felt the wooden headboard. Very smooth. And I said, Well, I'm not too sure, really, about this bed. I will need to look at beds in other shops. It's a big purchase, you know. And then …” He paused, adding extra dramatic effect to what he was about to say. “And then, Violet came up and whispered to me, If you buy this bed, Rra, then one day soon Ill come along and help you try it out. That is what she said! Some lady, Mma Ramotswe! Ow! One, two, three!”

 

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