Did she want Brady back? Or did she want a shot with Ethan?
“Co-Co, I know I haven’t been here for you so I don’t know all the heartache Brady put you through, but I remember how happy you two were together this summer. I’ve never seen you smile like that. I want that for you again. And Christmas is the perfect time for second chances.”
That was true. “I’m just afraid he’ll hurt me again, Go-Go.” A tear slipped down Chloe’s cheek. “He broke my heart. And I hate that no matter what happens I'll never be that girl again, the one who can trust with all of her heart, because he’s always going to have the broken pieces of it.”
“Then don’t be that girl,” Margot said softly. “Be this new version of yourself. You can guard your heart and put it out there at the same time. But you can’t be afraid to go after what you want, Chloe. And you can’t live your life full of regret. You mean too much to me. I won’t sit by and watch you be unhappy. If I hadn’t been blinded by my own happiness I’d have seen it sooner. You’ve lost your sparkle, Co-Co.”
Chloe laughed. “You were always the one with the sparkle, Go-Go.”
Margot swept a strand of hair away from her face, gently. “Trust me, Chloe. You sparkle. And you deserve to be with someone who can see that.”
Chloe bit her lip as longing filled her heart. “That’s the problem, Go-Go. I think you’re the only one who sees it.”
Margot pulled her close. “That’s not true. We all sparkle in our own way. The key is finding someone who brightens your shine instead of dulls it. If you think Brady might be that person, then give him a second chance. If not, it’s okay to move on.”
Chloe let Margot’s words sink in, hopeful that they would help her figure out the truth hidden in her wounded heart.
Ethan
Ethan watched Chloe follow Margot out of the ladies room. Her eyes were red-rimmed again. He instinctively began popping his knuckles as he watched Chloe walk back over to her ex-boyfriend. What do you see in him, Chloe?
It was plain to Ethan that Chloe was way too good for someone like this Brady character. He was wearing a high school varsity jacket and a beanie pulled low over his shaggy hair. He was tall and lanky, not grown into his frame yet. At least he had the good sense to look nervous. Showing up after dumping a girl as amazing as Chloe was a bold move. Though it seemed Brady was a friend of the Price family so maybe that warranted his bravery.
While Margot and Chloe were in the bathroom, their parents and some of the other lodge employees chatted with Brady, talking sports and holiday plans. He seemed relaxed and friendly with everyone. But as soon as Chloe re-emerged he tensed.
It bothered Ethan that he couldn’t tell what Chloe and Brady were talking about from his vantage point. He was sitting in a comfortable winged-back leather chair by the roaring fireplace. He wanted to get up and move closer, but Owen was watching him from his spot at the bar where Margot had joined him.
Ethan decided to turn his attention back to his version of a hot toddy. He’d added a generous helping of whiskey to the hot apple cider he’d ordered at the bar when no one was watching. He took a large sip, letting the heat from the alcohol warm him as it burned deep in his chest.
Chloe and Brady had moved out of sight, leaving Ethan with nothing to do but admire the lodge. This place was much more his style. It had expensive furniture, lavish décor and a lively bar. The clientele seemed like people he might see accompanying his mother to high society brunches or charity events.
Ethan ran his finger over the gold foil stamp on the red cocktail napkin that came with his drink. The logo was a diamond shape with log cabin in the center of a large wreath adorning the doors while snowflakes fell from above. The words, Everett’s Christmas Lodge & Tree Farm, Established 1909, glared back at him.
It was clear there was a lot of family history here. The walls were covered with giant framed photographs of the farm’s humble beginnings and Everett Price, the man who started it all. Ethan found himself wondering how different Chloe’s family was from his. Had they married for love rather than money? Had they had children out of choice rather than obligation? Ethan wondered how different his life might have been had he been raised here with a true sense of family.
It was funny, he was only a few hours away from New York City, yet he felt like he was a world away from everything he knew. Strangely, Ethan didn’t think he would miss the money and privilege that came with his upbringing if he had what the Price family had.
Everyone who passed them stopped to say hello or offer kind wishes. Even the staff held an immense amount of love and respect for Mr. and Mrs. Price. He watched in awe as they started to dance in front of the Christmas tree when a familiar Bing Crosby tune began to play. Some of the guests stopped to watch, some joined in. Margot pulled Owen onto the impromptu dance floor. His face was so full of joy it was painful for Ethan to watch. Painful, because he knew he could look that same way if he could only find a way to let himself.
It was impossible watching a near-mirror image of himself, living the life he wanted. One full of happiness and health, while Ethan’s own life was consumed with a sorrow that was eating him alive.
He watched as Owen laughed with Margot, spinning her around under the mistletoe, stealing kisses every chance he got. Owen looked like he belonged here with these happy people. Ethan wished he did, but he feared that there was a part of him that would forever remain broken after the loss of his mother and abandonment of his father.
Owen had been through it all alongside Ethan, but it seemed they wore their scars differently. Owen’s pain had torn a hole in his heart—a void he was constantly trying to fill with anything that brought him joy, while Ethan’s pain festered, hardening into a thick scar tissue that prevented anyone from getting past it.
Sometimes Ethan felt like his entire body was covered in a thick coat of sorrow, making it impossible for him to connect with anyone.
Not Chloe, though. Chloe had somehow slipped past his defenses.
Ethan looked past the massive Christmas tree that she had disappeared behind, wondering for the millionth time what it was about her that he couldn’t resist. He despised the anxious feeling that settled in his chest whenever he thought of her.
What are you doing to me, Chloe?
15
Brady
Brady’s heart was in his throat when he led Chloe into one of the small ballrooms that wasn’t being used. He couldn’t believe she’d agreed to talk to him. What had Margot said to her in the ladies room? Was she on his side after all?
When Chloe had practically run into the bathroom in tears, Brady hadn’t thought he had a chance in hell with Chloe. But now here she was standing next to the baby grand piano in the dark ballroom. A few strands of white lights lit up the rows and rows of white chairs, making her pale skin glow.
“Looks like a wedding,” he commented.
Chloe crossed her arms and glared at him. “What do you want, Brady?"
“Okay, so no small talk then . . .”
“You haven't talked to me in months, what did you expect?”
Brady pulled his hat off and ran his hands through his hair. She was right, he was expecting too much. But he needed to apologize regardless. “I just wanted to tell you that I'm really sorry.”
“About what?” Chloe asked. “Cheating on me, getting caught, dumping me, ignoring me?”
“All of it,” he said, taking a step closer to reach for her hand.
She pulled away. “Brady, this apology is three months too late.”
“You’re right, but I’m apologizing anyway. I was a jerk, okay? And now that I’ve been dumped I’m finally realizing just how terrible I must’ve made you feel.”
Chloe’s mouth fell open. “Maci dumped you?”
He nodded.
“Is that why you’re here?”
“No.” He sighed. “I don’t know. I just know I feel like crap and if I made you feel even an ounce of what I’m feeling right now, I just wanted
you to know how sorry I am.”
Chloe
Chloe was silent for a moment contemplating her next words carefully. Brady took her silence as defeat and sat down in one of the chairs, hanging his head.
After a while, Chloe joined him, sitting one chair away. “You did hurt me, Brady,” she said quietly. “A lot.”
He looked up. “I’m sorry, Clo.”
“Me too,” she said.
“What are you sorry for?”
She shrugged. “That you got dumped. I know how bad it sucks.”
He huffed a laugh and shook his head.
“What?”
“I always knew you were too good for me.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I came here to apologize because I’m a jerk and you’re the one comforting me.”
Chloe smiled. “Well, I know I could’ve used a friend after this jerk I was dating dumped me, so . . .”
Brady grinned that dazzling all-star smile of his. “He sounds like a tool. You shouldn’t date tools, Clo.”
She gave him a sad smile. “I don’t plan to again.”
Brady
That comment was sobering to Brady and he felt the humor of the situation evaporate. He looked at Chloe, his tone turning serious. “I really am sorry.”
“I know.”
“So can we be friends again?” he asked. “I think I could really use one.”
Chloe gave him that slow, sweet smile of hers that always melted his heart. “I think I can manage that.”
“Good.” He gave her another of his flirty smiles. “Wanna bash my ex-girlfriend with me?” he teased.
“Only if you’re willing to talk smack about my ex-boyfriend with me.”
This time Brady’s smile was genuine. “Deal,” he said, extending his hand.
Chloe shook it and Brady pulled her into a hug. With her in his arms all his old feelings came rushing back. It was true what they said. Sometimes you didn’t know what you had until you lost it.
It was going to be difficult for Brady to be just friends with Chloe after they’d been so much more. But if friends was what she was comfortable with, that would work—for now.
16
Chloe
When Chloe returned to the lodge, Ethan was nowhere in sight. At first it was a relief. Having his piercing gaze on her constantly made Chloe sweat and she didn’t want to have to introduce him to Brady who seemed determined to stick around. But after a while, Chloe was concerned about where Ethan had gone off to.
She found Margot working the snow-cone machine with Owen, who was having way too much fun pumping hot maple syrup onto the fluffy white snowballs.
“Did you see where Ethan went?”
“He said he needed to do some homework,” Owen replied.
“Oh.” Chloe frowned at the thought of Ethan being alone.
He already seemed like he didn’t belong. Maybe all the commotion at the lodge was too much for such a somber soul. She couldn’t really blame him. Every time a classic Christmas song came on her parents started dancing. And there were children running around the various trees in the lobby throwing tinsel at each other. It could be a little much for her sometimes, too.
So she let her worry for Ethan go and busied herself at the lodge for the rest of the afternoon. After the tree was decorated and the last minute arrangements for the wedding were complete, Chloe moved out to the barn to help wrap Christmas trees and load them onto people’s cars. Brady was by her side the entire time.
She had to admit it was nice having her friend back. She forgot how much he made her laugh. But by the time she returned to her house for dinner her cheeks hurt from laughing and she was pleasantly exhausted.
“Want to stay for dinner?” Chloe asked.
“I’d love to, but I told my mom I’d be home to watch my brothers tonight.”
“Okay. Well, give them my love.”
Brady grinned. “I will.”
Chloe turned to go inside, but Brady pulled her back. “Hey, can we hang out tomorrow?”
His question caught her off guard. But she didn’t know why. It wasn’t like he was asking her on a date. “Uh, sure. I guess.”
“I was thinking we could take the snowmobiles out in the morning.”
“Oh, that’s a great idea. It’ll be fun with all this fresh snow. Can I ask Margot to join?”
“Sure. The more the merrier.”
“Okay, see ya in the morning.”
“Night,” Brady called, waving as he jogged back down the driveway.
Ethan
Ethan looked up when the door opened. Chloe walked in covered from head to toe in a fine dusting of snow. She looked like a Christmas angel and he was surprised by the tightness he felt in his chest upon her return. Had he missed her?
He didn’t let himself miss people. Missing them meant he’d have to get attached to them and that was something he wasn’t in the habit of doing. All that led to was disappointment, which was the other subtle feeling that crept up on Ethan as he watched Brady disappearing down the drive in the distance.
“Sorry I'm late," Chloe called as she walked into the living room. “Is dinner ready? I'm starving."
“Five more minutes on the cornbread,” her mother called from the kitchen.
Ethan closed his book and stood up from his seat by the fire.
Chloe jumped. “Ethan!” Her hand flew to her chest. "I didn't see you there."
“It's where I've been all night," he said, holding up one of his English Literature books.
“Oh. Well, we missed you at the lodge.”
“Did you?” he asked accusingly. He was under the impression she was too occupied with Brady to be missing him. Am I wrong about you, Chloe?
He didn’t get a chance to find out because Margot barged into the living room announcing that dinner was ready.
Chloe
It was unnerving how quiet Ethan was during dinner. He’d barely said two words as the chili and cornbread were dished out. Now he sat silently stirring his spoon around the bowl, still not taking a bite of it. Owen had almost polished off his bowl already. Chloe glanced at Ethan from beneath her lashes as she took a bite of her own piping hot vegetarian chili. She’d never seen someone look so completely different based on his moods.
Earlier, when they’d been walking in the pine forest, Ethan had looked exuberant, the sparkle in his eyes almost cheerful. And when they’d kissed . . . it was like his face had come alive, the stormy green sea of his eyes transforming into inviting meadows. But now, as he glowered at his bowl of chili, Chloe could practically feel his sadness.
Guilt stabbed at her gut. Was his sullen mood her fault? She hoped not. Maybe he just didn’t like chili, though she’d never seen someone scowl at a bowl of chili quite like that before.
Taking a chance, Chloe nudged Ethan with her elbow, breaking him from the mesmerizing trance of stirring. “Do you not like chili?” she whispered.
He shrugged. “I’ve never had it.”
Chloe’s eyebrows raised. She looked around the table realizing no one else was paying attention to their conversation. Her parents were too busy sharing embarrassing stories about Margot with Owen—again.
“You’ve never had chili?” Chloe whispered.
“That’s what I said.”
“Is Manhattan too good for chili?” Chloe asked, jokingly. “If so I might seriously have to reconsider my plans to attend college there.”
Ethan didn’t crack a smile. He just continued staring at the bowl.
“I can’t believe your Mom never made you chili! It’s the perfect winter meal.”
“My mother didn’t cook.”
Chloe stopped eating. “What? Why not?”
“The kitchen staff prepared all our meals.”
She laughed, but when she realized he wasn’t joking she felt her throat go dry. Just who the hell were these boys? If they had ‘kitchen staff’ what the heck were they doing dining with her family around an old di
nged up pine table her grandfather had built?
“Well, you’ve been missing out,” she said eating a spoonful of the heavenly chili.
He frowned and shook his head. “I don’t think it’s for me.”
Chloe crossed her arms. “How are you so certain you won’t like it if you won’t give it a try?” she asked.
Ethan
Ethan's heart skipped a beat as a wave of déjà vu hit him so hard he was speechless. Chloe's words . . . His mother used to say the same thing. Not just a similar phrase, but the exact same wording. ‘How are you so certain you won’t like your new school if you won’t give it a try? How are you so certain you won’t like living with your grandmother? How are you so certain I won’t beat the cancer?’
The memories of his mother unexpectedly gripped Ethan, sending a wave of agony through him so swiftly that he thought he might be sick. Chloe put a hand on his arm and he stood abruptly, shoving his chair back with a screech.
Ethan was aware the dinner conversations came to a halt but he didn’t care. He muttered a hurried, “Excuse me,” and rushed from the table to the sanctuary of the bedroom upstairs.
Chloe
Chloe realized her mouth was hanging open and she snapped it shut. Embarrassment flooded her. Was it her fault Ethan had just run from the table?
She’d thought she was just making light conversation. She certainly didn’t mean to offend him.
“Do you need to go check on him?” Margot asked Owen.
He shook his head. “Nah, Ethan gets kind of moody around the holidays. I apologize. It’s nothing you did,” he said, directing his last comment at Chloe.
She swallowed hard and nodded, but wasn’t so sure she believed Owen. No one got that offended about chili for no reason—holidays or not.
The Winter Boyfriend: A Stand-Alone YA Contemporary Romance Novel (The Boyfriend Series) Page 9