by K. G. Reuss
After what felt like forever, they got to the announcement. I leaned forward as the presenter cleared his throat and gave the crowd a smile. Photographers snapped a few photos. Travis’s mom reached over and gave his hand a squeeze. At least he wasn’t alone. That helped ease my heartache.
I tuned out the presenter as he rambled on about goals, futures, dreams, and whatever else he was going on about. Travis wasn’t paying attention either. He stared down at his phone, thumbing out a message. A moment later, my cell buzzed.
I need you right now.
I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and readied my camera. Whether he won or lost, I wanted to document what I could. Maybe when we were in a better place, I’d share the photos with him.
“It’s my honor to announce the recipient of this year’s Heisman goes to Travis Owens of Rayton University! Congratulations!”
My attention snapped from the presenter to Travis. He quickly wiped at his eyes and kissed his mom’s cheek before he hugged his dad. I took photo after photo of him on my phone as he got to his feet. When his back was to me, I got up and walked out, my pulse roaring. I stood outside the door, listening as he took his place at the microphone.
He cleared his throat.
“Thank you so much for this amazing award. I can’t tell you how long I’ve dreamed of it. I can’t take full credit. My team is incredible, as is Coach.” He paused briefly. “I want to thank Coach, my team, the esteemed members of the panel, my best friends, Alex and Mason, my parents, and most importantly, my wife. Without her by my side this year, I would’ve been half the man I am. She was my lucky charm, and as cliché as it sounds, the wind beneath my wings. Again, thank you all. This means the world to me.”
The sound of clapping ensued, and I smiled. He’d given a solid speech, but nowhere near the caliber of what I knew he was capable of. But he didn’t need me. His dream had come true. The agents and scouts would be banging down his door now. This was it.
I stepped outside into the cool night air and dialed a number.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Uncle Marty,” I greeted Ava’s uncle. “Um, I’m ready for the paperwork.”
“I’ll work on getting it together in the morning. Are you sure, Lexy?”
I glanced back to the convention center, my eyes prickling with tears. Travis would have no room in his life for me now. I wouldn’t be the cause of his dreams not coming true.
“Positive.”
“OK, hon. I’ll be in touch.”
“Thank you,” I whispered before hanging up.
Game over.
“Have you figured out how you’re going to present your project tomorrow?” Ava asked as she nibbled on a breadstick in our living room. News had gotten out about Travis’s big win. Word had it that there was a massive celebration planned for later in the week. He hadn’t messaged me since the night of the Heisman.
“No.”
“Don’t you think you should?”
I frowned down at my glass of wine. “Maybe.”
“Just text him and tell him what you want him to do. No need to meet up. He’s a smart guy. He can figure it out,” Alex said, moving into the living room to sit between me and Ava. They’d been getting along better, which was a relief.
“Yeah,” I mumbled.
“Like now, Lex! It’s like a band-aid. The quicker you rip it off, the faster the pain is over. It’s the last interaction you have to have with him.” Ava offered me a breadstick, but I waved her off. I’d barely eaten anything since the library incident.
I knew they were right, so I gulped down my wine and pulled my phone out. If there was one thing I wanted, it was to not hurt anymore. If we could get this done, maybe I could work on feeling better.
A girl could hope.
Sixty-Six
Travis
My phone dinged. I rubbed my eyes, unsure why the hell I was tired since I hadn’t done shit all day but lie in bed and be a buzzkill. A superhero movie played in the background as I lifted my phone and opened the message. My heart stumbled in my chest when I saw Lexy’s name on the screen.
With shaky hands, I opened the message.
Lexy: I have my part of the project done. I’m emailing my notes. Please go over them and make sure your part is ready for tomorrow.
I frowned down at the stiff message before replying.
Travis: I’m ready. I’ll read over your email to make sure I have everything you need.
I hit send, my heart in my throat. When my phone didn’t buzz again, I sat forward and typed another message.
Travis: I miss you. Can we talk?
Lexy: It’s best if we don’t. Let’s just get this project over with. Congrats, by the way on the Heisman.
Travis: Lexy, please. I just want to explain things in person. Can you just give me that?
Lexy: I need to go. Please don’t screw this project up, Travis. I still need this grade.
I sighed as I stared down at the screen before sending a final reply.
Travis: I promise I won’t.
She didn’t answer after that. I got up and checked my email to find her notes and her side of the project. I sent mine off to her. Everything looked good. Except the part where she was my girl still.
Nausea roiled in my guts, and I swallowed it down before settling into bed. I opened up my Facebook page and stared at the profile photo I’d put up only days before of me and her. She looked so beautiful in my arms, her head snuggled onto my chest as I smiled down at her. Our status hadn’t changed online at least. It still said she was married to me.
I held the phone to my chest, wishing it was her instead and closed my eyes. At least I’d finally get to see her tomorrow. Maybe it was my chance to make things right.
The sunlight woke me up as it streamed through my blinds. Grumbling, I got up and got ready. So much worry coursed through me I wasn’t sure I’d make it through the day. Thinking of seeing Lexy had me sick to my stomach. Not in a bad way. It was more like I was nervous to see her. I was scared of what her response to me would be. I was terrified she’d shoot me down again because damnit, I was still going to try.
So with my heart in my throat, I made it to class and took my usual seat, vowing I’d play it cool. Maybe she did just need some time. I could do that. I could give her more time. I’d give her forever if it meant she’d be mine again.
I sensed her before I saw her. I sat up straighter. My body tensed as she approached before finally taking her seat next to me.
It took every ounce of courage I had to look over at her. My heart stumbled in my chest as I took her in. She looked so beautiful it made my chest ache. Her long hair cascaded around her. Her lips were shiny with gloss. Her pretty blue sundress showed off her bare shoulders.
I cleared my throat. “Good morning.”
She glanced at me but didn’t say anything.
I tried again. “You look beautiful today.”
“Let’s not do this, Travis,” she murmured, pulling out her notecards and paper.
“What? Greet one another?”
She sighed. “We both know what you’re doing. Let’s just get this over with, OK?”
“OK. Fine,” I grunted, settling back in my seat.
Professor Herring breezed in and called out her welcome to everyone. Ava shot into class fifteen minutes late and slid in on the other side of Lexy while muttering her apologies. She made it just in time too because Herring called her to the front with Collin.
I listened as they gave their report. It was fairly unremarkable, citing the need to communicate in marriage and how it hadn’t felt real because it wasn’t, which made doing the project hard. Once they were finished, Ava returned to her seat.
“Let’s hear from Travis Owens and Alexis Owens next!” Professor Herring called out in a teasing tone, a sly smile on her face. Students turned to look at us as we got to our feet and made our way to the front.
“Uh, hey,” I called out. Students chuckled as I gave a wave. “So, we
started this project off kind of rocky.” I launched into talking about our early on disagreements before letting Lexy speak.
“Like many others, we found communication to be a big problem. Today, the divorce rate is 3.2 per 1000 people in the US. And even more telling is the fact that forty to fifty percent of all first marriages end in divorce. I’m not surprised communication, or lack thereof, plays such a large role in the climbing divorce rates.” She continued citing more sources before allowing me to speak again.
“So Lexy and I have this game,” I started. “I challenge her to dares. She does them. We grew up together, so it’s kind of our thing. We went to Vegas back when our project started, and I challenged her to marry me. For real.” I stared out at the sea of faces.
Students sat forward, listening to our tale. I continued on, telling all the important parts, minus the sexy time stuff.
Lexy joined in later and added how our relationship had grown and that we’d really fallen in love. I smiled at her as she spoke. She was so sure of herself. So confident. We wove a love story, highlighting the ups and downs.
When it was my turn again, I hauled in a deep breath and told the story of me and Steph in the library, omitting her name. Students looked reproachful and angry.
“This other girl was a friend of mine. But we no longer are due to what happened.” I glanced at Lexy to see a muscle thrumming along her jaw. “It was a misunderstanding that took our marriage and destroyed it.”
Students gasped at my grim words. I plowed on. “We started by talking about communicating. It can lift a couple up or tear them down. It can wound hearts and totally destroy lives if not done properly. But I don’t regret doing this project. I learned so much from it and gained a beautiful wife in the process.”
Students clapped and cheered as we finished up. We returned to our seats moments later, neither of us saying a word to one another. When class finally ended, Lexy bolted out of her seat and took off like she’d been set on fire. But I wasn’t going to let her go that easily. I rushed after her and caught her down the hallway.
“Hey, Lex!” I grabbed her arm and pulled her to a stop.
“Travis, can you just leave me alone?” She glared up at me, her chest heaving.
“No,” I answered back, not backing down. “Not until you talk to me. I fucking miss you. Why won’t you let me explain—”
“Travis, you don’t need to explain. I get it, OK? It was an accident.”
“Then why are you so mad at me?” I frowned down at her, confused off my ass.
She sighed and looked away for a moment before speaking again. “It’s just… we’re not good for each other, OK? If it’s not Steph, it’ll be someone else. I don’t want a life where I don’t get to see my husband hardly ever. And when I do, it might be on the cover of some rag with some nasty rumor about his infidelity.”
“Lexy, I’ll quit right now—”
“Absolutely not. You worked for this, Travis. The last thing I want is for you to give up your dreams for me. We’re two people going in different directions.” She rooted around in her bag for a moment before pulling out a packet of papers. “I wanted to wait until after Christmas, but maybe this is for the best. I already signed them.”
I took the papers from her and opened the folder. My breath hitched in my chest as I stared down at my own personal fucking nightmare.
“Are you fucking kidding me, Lexy? Divorce? You’re divorcing me?” I gaped at her, unable to wrap my mind around what was happening.
She darted her gaze around quickly as students jostled past us.
“It’s for the best, Travis.” Her voice cracked. “I’m so sorry.”
“Lexy, wait!” I shouted as she turned tail and rushed away. I had to hand it to her, she was fast. I’d lost her by the time I made it outside.
“Fuck!” I shouted, not giving a shit who heard me. “Fuck!”
Sixty-Seven
Lexy
Ava and Alex rode home together for Christmas two days before I left. They’d begged me to ride with them, but I knew Travis was leaving the same day, and I wanted to have some alone time. Plus, any opportunity to get them alone together was one I’d take.
I sat in front of the TV with my laptop on my lap and stared at Travis’s Facebook profile. He hadn’t changed our picture from his main photo yet. I knew he’d been online because he posted a photo of his family’s dog, Raisin, only hours before. The big black lab smiled at the camera, his tongue lolling out. Travis had gotten him for his parents when he left for college so they wouldn’t be lonely in his absence.
I knew what I needed to do. I navigated away from his profile. My clicker hovered over our marriage status. In the past few days, I’d spent more time looking at that damn status than anything else. I knew I had to mark myself as single, but I’d hesitated each time.
It took me three glasses of wine to close my eyes and hit the button that would take us from being married to being single. The moment I did it, my heart crashed into my stomach and anxiety swept through me.
The rest of the night was spent curled into a ball and crying beneath my covers. By the next day, my eyes were bleary and swollen, but I had to make the drive home. So I gathered my things and the few gifts I’d picked up and made my way north to my parents’ place. I arrived early in the evening since I hadn’t bothered getting up until early afternoon.
My parents met me at the door and swept me up into a big hug before Alex appeared behind them, grinning.
“There she is! We were wondering when you were going to get here!” Alex gave me a quick hug.
“We called you, Lexy,” Mom said, brushing my hair away from my face and smiling. “I was worried sick! The Owens are coming over this evening for Christmas cookie baking!”
I groaned as Alex shot me a quick look.
“Mom, do we have to?”
We’d made it into the living room where I flopped onto the leather couch.
“Alexis, we’ve been friends with the Owens since you guys were young. Just because you and Travis are going through personal matters doesn’t mean we’re going to abandon our traditions,” Dad said, settling beside me and giving my knee a squeeze.
“Wait. You guys know?”
“Of course, we do. I don’t know why we had to see it in the papers to learn our daughter had gotten married, but the moment we read it, we went over and asked Travis’s parents.” Mom frowned at me. It had always been her dream to help me plan my wedding.
“I’m sorry,” I mumbled. “I really am. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. We were dumb.”
Dad gave me a squeeze. “You’re not dumb. You’re in love, pumpkin.”
I locked gazes with Alex who gave me a gentle smile and a shrug.
“I filed for divorce. I gave Travis the papers after our final project.”
“We know. His mom was here yesterday telling us he barely comes out of his room.” Mom bustled to the kitchen. Since my parents had an open floor plan, we could still converse easily. “But we know you two will figure it out.”
I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to break any more hearts. Instead, I got to my feet and went to my suitcase.
“It’s been a long drive. I’m just going to go upstairs and lie down.”
“They’ll be here in a few hours,” Dad started.
“I really don’t want to—”
“You should, Lex,” Alex called out. “It might be fun.”
If Alex was siding with my parents, there was no way I’d win the argument. So I forced a smile onto my face and promised I’d come down later.
Much later if I had anything to do with it. I wasn’t so sure I could stand to see Travis. My heart might finally wobble and completely crumble.
Three hours later, I was staring up at my ceiling when there was a soft knock on my door. I jolted up as Alex poked his head in.
“I know you heard Travis and his family ring the doorbell.”
“Maybe,” I grunted.
“They’re been here for nearly an hour now. You should come down.” Alex moved to sit beside me on the bed.
“You haven’t thrown punches yet?” I lifted a brow at him as he chuckled.
“No. Travis and I are cool.”
“Really?”
He shrugged. “Yeah. Just because he’s a fuck up doesn’t mean he’s not my friend anymore.”
“He didn’t screw up really. We just aren’t right for each other.”
“Yesterday he told me what happened. For what it’s worth, I think you two were good for one another.”
“It’s over. I already started the divorce process. Uncle Marty is doing it.”
Alex sighed and rubbed his eyes. “Lex, why did you need to jump into it? Why not wait it out and see if your feelings change—”
“That’s the problem, Alex! I don’t think they’re going to. I-I love him. I don’t want to because I know what life will be like with him. It sucks. I just want to feel normal again.”
“Oh, Lex.” He sighed and gave me a hug. “Fuck it. Let’s just make some cookies, OK? We’ll start there. There’s still the Owens’s ugly Christmas sweater party we have to go to and Christmas tree shopping and last-minute gift shopping. We’ll smile and be polite to start it off with. Then once tonight’s events are over, we’ll chill in here, eat s’mores, and watch Christmas Vacation. It’s your favorite Christmas movie.”
“Promise?”
“Cross my heart.”
I smiled at my brother then I got up and followed him downstairs. He painted a decent picture. At least I had something to look forward to. But I was in trouble. I knew it the moment my feet touched the floor in the living room.
Travis’s attention snapped to me as he sat at the kitchen island with a smudge of flour on his cheek.