“Yeah, I do.” He shrugs. “Right before she pulled the trigger. Excuse me.” He takes off, and Flo lets out an egregiously loud roar.
“Wow, Flo, you were less angry when you thought she offed you.”
She makes a face. “Because I happened to doubt that theory. This one? Not so much. Let’s go find her.”
“Fine,” I say. “But I need to make a quick pit stop to the little girls’ room.”
“I’ll come along for the ride. How I miss those meetups in the ladies’ room. You know, I thought I had a lot of problems, but now that I’m dead, I can see that I had a lot of blessings with a couple of fringe issues that I should never have let bother me. Don’t take your life for granted, Lottie. And for sure don’t sweat the small stuff. Because come to find out, ninety-nine percent of it is just that—small stuff.”
“Agree,” I say. “With the exception of what my husband happens to be packing.”
We take off for the restroom, and it has a line nine deep.
“Come this way.” Flo pulls me down a few halls and into the restaurant proper. “There’s another restroom in the back where no one ever goes. It’s the perfect place to drag your man if you’re itching for a quickie.”
“Don’t tell Carlotta. I’ve seen the way she’s been eyeing a few of your uncles.”
We step inside, and sure enough, there’s not a soul in sight. I quickly lock myself into a stall and get right to business while the baby does his or her best to stomp on my bladder as if trying to aid in the effort.
The sound of the door opening, followed by the clip-clop of footsteps garners my attention.
“So how are you enjoying your celebratory dinner?” one of the females says. “You could’ve been sitting in a prison cell right now. I hope you appreciate your freedom.”
Prison cell?
The sound of laughter comes from the other side, and I try to peer through the crack in the door to see who it is.
“Hey?” Flo sounds amused. “It’s that chick, Lottie. The one that knifed her boyfriend for laying a hand on her. Alyssa something.”
Allison Gray?
I freeze solid and hold my breath.
“Of course, I appreciate it,” the other one says, and it sure does sound exactly like Allison. “But remember, this is supposed to be your belated birthday party. Nobody knows I’m celebrating but you. Don’t tell a soul, Amy. You’re not just my sister, you’re my best friend and the only person that will ever know the truth. And that boyfriend of yours had better watch his back. I don’t take too kindly to cheaters.”
“Please, you were a bona fide stalker. Even I felt sorry for the guy. Just know you saved your neck with those pictures. Remind me to never get on your bad side. You’ve got a mean left hook—and right hook.”
“And I know how to wield a hammer just right.”
Flo groans, “The little witch! She did it to herself! She gave herself all those nasty bruises.”
I put myself back together and slam my way out of the stall.
And sure enough, there stands Allison and a younger version of her, both with their strawberry blonde hair wild and unruly. Gone is Allison’s librarian persona and in its place a mini-skirt wearing mess with a rainbow’s worth of cosmetics on her face.
“Amy?” She takes a step toward me. “Would you mind waiting outside? I think I need to say hello to an old friend.”
The younger girl quickly scuttles out the door.
“I don’t know, Lot.” Flo zooms over to the menace before me. “You might want to make tracks, too. You’ve got a kid to think about.”
“You killed him?” I shake my head in disbelief as I look at the woman I would have sworn on my life was innocent. Everett knew I was wrong, and that’s why he looked at me the way he did that day in the courtroom. I believe what he told me was true as well, but that man’s instincts are never off. “Those horrific bruises—you gave them to yourself.”
“It wasn’t easy.” She digs into her purse and quickly douses her lips with far too much gloss. “It’s all behind me now.”
“But you just confessed.” I look at her wild-eyed. “I won’t let this be over. You killed an innocent man. You don’t get to celebrate in a steakhouse while he lies cold in a casket.”
She takes an enormous breath. “You really have no clue about the law, do you? I can’t be tried again for the same crime. I’m free as a bird.” She steps in close. “Tell whoever you want. You’ll be the only one embarrassed by it.” She struts to the exit and opens the door. “Oh, and I’d watch that husband of yours. Fiona still has the hots for him.”
She takes off, and I let out a frustrated howl.
I quickly wash up, and soon Flo and I are right back in that dizzying room where the wake is being held.
“There she is.” Flo nods to the dessert table where Donata Diamante is loading up on my waffles, six high. Her red hair matches the red dress she’s donned, and her spiked red heels let you know she’s not afraid to double down with the fiery hue. “Let’s go shove a waffle in her face before we cap her.”
“I’m not capping anyone,” I mutter. “I don’t have a gun.”
“Fine. We’ll knock her over the head with a whiskey bottle and then have that hot detective you’re seeing lock her up in the big house. That way she and her brother can have a little family reunion.”
We come upon her, and I snatch up a zeppole and take a bite out of it. This little soft and tasty treat makes your average donut taste like a cracker.
I moan without meaning to.
“They’re that good.” Donata laughs. “And so are your waffles. You know it brings me comfort knowing Flo had at least a little pleasure before she floated off to her eternal home.”
Flo gets right up in the woman’s face. “Don’t you wish I floated off this planet! So you could hide the fact you slept with my Nicky!”
“So is Nicky Knuckles here?” I decide to play it off as if I haven’t seen him brazenly roaming the grounds.
“Oh yeah.” Donata’s eyes widen as if she were in disbelief herself. “He’s here. And he’s not hiding where his affections lie either.”
“With you?” Flo barks. “Look at her, Lot. I knew this redhead was trouble. She did this as retribution for what happened to her dope of a brother. Ask her. And if she admits it, that syrup she just poured over her waffles will be dripping from her hair.”
I step in close to the fiery-haired girl. “You mean the girl that Nicky cheated on Flo with is right here at her wake?”
“Yup.” She nods with a malevolent smile riding on her lips.
“Knew it!” Flo belts it out. “Look at the smarmy grin taking over. And she’s not even sorry in the least!”
“How could you?” I hear myself say without thinking it through. I can’t help it. Having Flo here has really thrown off my game. “And you knew she was with child.”
Donata winces. “Are you feeling okay, Lottie? I’d never do that to another woman. I may not have cared for what Flo did to my big brother, but that girl was like a sister to me. I’m not the one who felt insecure with my friendship with her. Flo was number one in any and everything that girl undertook. And believe me, I knew my place. Her men were off the table as far as I was concerned.” She snatches another waffle out of the chaffing dish and lands it on her already wobbling stack. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to continue with this caloric tribute to my bestie.” She stalks off as Flo and I look at one another.
“She didn’t do it?” Flo zooms past me then zooms right back as her hot pink aura curls around her head like smoke.
“No, but I think she just gave away the killer’s identity. She said she wasn’t the one who felt insecure with her friendship with you. And I have a feeling I know exactly who did.”
Flo’s entire face glows red as a flame. “So do I.”
Chapter 19
Flo and I thread our way to the other end of the room where a certain brunette who couldn’t stand to be number two to anybod
y knocks back the rest of her drink.
“Lorena Lazzari”—her name strums from me breathlessly—“that was some funeral you threw.”
The bright-eyed woman looks my way with her crunchy curls, her lips painted a shocking shade of pink, and they just so happen to match the dress she has on.
Flo shakes her head as she looks at the girl. “Not my Lo.” The words come out with a mournful ache. “She wouldn’t do this to me, Lottie. It’s not true. Make her say it’s not true.”
Lorena averts her eyes. “Yeah, it’s some funeral if you were really that into yourself, and Flo was into herself. I always said no one loved themselves more than Florenza.”
“Well, they didn’t call her Angel Face for nothing.”
“Pfft.” She nods outside of the event room we’re in. “Follow me and I’ll give you the lowdown. I’m getting the good stuff from the bar.”
“Sure. I’m feeling thirsty myself.” For justice.
We walk at a quickened clip, and both put in an order for a couple of drinks.
She turns my way with her lips curving a notch. “Angel Face? Flo thought up that nickname herself.”
Flo sucks in enough air to fill a dozen pairs of lungs. “She swore she’d never tell!”
The bartender slides a double shot of whiskey her way and a fruity virgin piña colada to me.
“She can’t hold her liquor,” Flo says the words incredulously as if the whiskey were to blame. “She’s always needed it to give her courage she didn’t have. She’s never believed in herself.”
“Flo thought of that nickname?” I shrug at the thought. “It was fitting, though. I mean, I bet Nicky called her that all the time. I talked to him earlier, and he said he’d never forget how beautiful she was. He said no one else on this planet could hold a candle to her beauty, and that if they tried they’d be nothing but second place.” Okay, so he didn’t say that, but he should have.
Lorena’s eyes widen with a touch of rage.
“Oh, hon,” Flo moans. “I think you touched a nerve.”
“If you excuse me, Lottie, I need to get some air.” Lorena stalks out the foyer and into the icy air. “You don’t need to follow me.” She knocks back her double shot of whiskey in haste and grimaces as she sucks in a breath. “I think I need to be alone for a minute. You know, reflect on Florenza.” She lands her glass on the hood of a sedan in the parking lot as she makes her way over to a clearing. So I do the same as I follow along.
“Lorena, wait,” I say as I trek my way through the snowy lot as carefully as I can. “Why did you do it?”
“Why did I do what?” She turns my way with a hard look on her face. “Are you accusing me of killing my best friend in the entire world?” Her words are so loud, so sharp, it certainly sounds as if what she were saying was the furthest thing from the truth.
“No. Actually, I was going to ask why you slept with Nicky Knuckles, but since you brought it up…”
“Nicky,” she spits his name out with a vengeance before staggering to the edge of the parking lot that overlooks a snowy meadow. “I hated him for making me feel that way.”
“Feel what way?” Flo asks, and I quickly echo the question.
“Feeling beautiful!” she shouts as she turns my way. “Feeling wanted. Special. All those things that a woman wants to feel. The more he poured it on, the more I craved it.”
Flo’s chest bucks as tears stream from her face with a moonbeam trapped in each one.
I nod to the woman before us. “You tried to pin this on Nicky, didn’t you?”
Lorena tips her head back a notch. “You know, when Carlotta said you were good, I didn’t believe her. But here you are, Mrs. High and Mighty—Mrs. I Have Two Men Who War Over Me Day and Night. Well, I have news for you. The rest of the world? We’re not so lucky.”
“Nicky made you feel lucky. But what I don’t get is why you pulled the trigger on a woman who you professed was your best friend in the world. You knew she loved Nicky.”
“Bull!” she cries out over me. “Flo loved herself. I could’ve given Nicky everything!” Her hand clasps over her belly. “In fact, I’m about to give that two-timing louse a lot more than he deserves.”
Both Flo and I take in a breath.
“Lorena, are you going to have a baby?” I ask as she closes her eyes tightly.
“I guess.” She tosses her hands in the air. “But what kind of a mother am I going to be? I mean, look at me. I’m drinking like a fish. Nicky has already moved on to Nicole Amaretto.”
Flo moans, “Oh, I can’t stand Nicole Amaretto!” She floats up to her bestie. “But right about now, I can’t stand you either. Make her admit she did this to me, Lottie, so I can kill her with my bare hands.”
I’m pretty sure the powers that be won’t allow that, but I’ll do as I’m told regardless.
“You wanted Nicky for yourself, didn’t you, Lorena? That night at the Chanterelle Hotel, you saw your opportunity to make that happen. I heard you telling Flo that you were going to protect her from Nicky. You made sure a lot of people heard you say something to the affect that he wouldn’t hurt her anymore. He was hurting her because he was cheating on her, and he was cheating on her with you.”
Lorena bucks as if I shot her.
“And you didn’t stop there. You told Flo that same night that you didn’t play second fiddle to anyone. Not even to Flo. And then you told her that when it came to the Ruthless Witches, you would be number one. Right before you pretended to shoot her with your finger. You wanted Flo’s boyfriend. You wanted her position in the Ruthless Witches, too. You thought it was all going to fall into your lap once you got Flo out of the way, didn’t you?”
“No,” she riots back at me. “I didn’t think that, so you can wipe that smug look off your face. Earlier that night I told Nicky he had to choose—Flo or me. He kept pursuing her even after he started two-timing her. It’s as if he couldn’t get enough of his precious little Angel Face. If Flo found out I was the witch sleeping around with her man, what do you think would have happened to me? And do you know how humiliating it was going to be for Flo to see that I was expecting? And how humiliating for me it would have been that the man I tried to steal, still only had eyes for her? At least at that time he did. I was livid. I couldn’t see straight. You’ve probably never been that angry in your little life. But I was fit to kill. And I wanted both of them dead. Nicky was too quick for me.”
“And what did any of that accomplish?” I shake my head at her.
She shudders with a laugh caught in her throat. “There was a turf war brewing. I was only going to speed things up.”
My mouth falls open. “And you did spur that along, didn’t you? The Canellis and the Lazzaris still think the Morettis were responsible.”
“I don’t know if they do or don’t.” She shakes her head. “But I’ve given them an excuse to go after New Jersey until kingdom come.”
I shake my head. “They never needed any excuses. You killed both your best friend and her unborn child—for what? So you could take her place in this world? So you could be her?”
Lorena takes in a breath as if she were gulping for air.
“So it’s true? Flo was having a kid?”
“That’s right.” I nod.
“No,” she cries out mournfully.
“Yes. And now she’s not only missing out on her kid, she’s missing out on her very next breath. Do the right thing, Lorena. Turn yourself in.”
“The hell I am.” She reaches under the hemline of her thigh-high dress and pulls a gun from a slender pink holster before pointing it right at me. “I’m sorry, Lottie. This is where it ends for you.”
“No!” Flo roars it out as she grabs me by the wrist and yanks me toward the woman. Flo lands my hand right over Lorena’s bare arm “You don’t get to hurt my friend, Lo!”
Lorena inches back as the gun shakes in her hand, but Flo secures my hand to the woman’s shoulder.
“What the hell was that?” Lorena c
ries out. “How did you do it? How did you sound just like Flo without moving your lips?”
“Because she’s not me, you moron!” Flo growls the words right at her, and I look to Flo in an attempt to knowledge the lunacy transpiring. “How could you?” she shouts. “I gave you everything! If you wanted that cheating jackass of a man so bad, I would have given him to you as well. But you took everything from me!”
“You gave me nothing!” Lorena fires back. “You took the lion’s share of everything in our lives and made sure Donata and I suffered with the leftovers. The only thing that cheered us up about not having you around was the fact that we were finally going to step out of your shadow and make a name for ourselves. This was our shot, and we weren’t going to blow it!”
Their one shot.
So that’s what Flo heard them talking about that day at my bakery. They wanted to step out of her shadow. But one of them stepped in the wrong direction entirely.
“You were greedy and conceited and unstoppably selfish,” Lorena continues. “You didn’t care about anybody but yourself. And now with you gone”—she closes her eyes a moment—“I’m twice the monster you were.”
Flo lunges for the gun. “Run, Lottie!” she cries out as she and Lorena are suddenly struggling for control of the weapon. Flo’s entire being ignites as bright as a hot pink star before her ghostly frame becomes far more transparent by the second.
“Flo!” I cry out just as she dissipates to nothing.
“Don’t worry about me, Lottie,” she says, still struggling with Lorena with every ounce left in her. “I’ve got a kid to get home to. You protect yours. I’ll never forget you.”
“And I’ll never forget you.”
“Lemon!” Everett’s deep voice echoes over the expanse, and just as I turn to look his way, a gunshot goes off.
It feels as if the entire world stills for one horrific moment.
Everett pulls me in and shields himself over my body just as Noah dives past us and tackles Lorena one-handed. Ivy Fairbanks runs out after him and helps him land the woman in cuffs.
Murder in the Mix Boxed Set 28-30: Cozy Mystery Page 44