“How well do you know Juliet?”
“We’re just acquaintances more or less, but she’s a gentle soul. That’s why watching them argue really caught me off guard. Bambi and Verity? Not so much.”
Someone calls for Sugar from the registers.
“I’d better go. Please stay and have a good time, Lottie. I’m so glad you’re here.”
“You bet,” I say as I snatch that furry little koala off her shoulder as she takes off. “I think someone has been avoiding me.”
“Never.” Teddy waves me off. “I just can’t get enough of my sweet Sugar. You do realize Verity snatched me away from her much the way you just did.”
“Are you saying Verity stole you?” I keep my voice down, but the noise level in the room is pretty high in general and those intermittent bouts of laughter are ear-piercing.
“That’s exactly what she did. And she threatened to harm Sugar’s reputation and break the heart of Sugar’s parents if she tried to take me back. Sugar lived in fear of the girl. And so did everyone else who came in contact with her. The girl was a pill as her aunt used to say. So was her aunt.” She groans as if reliving the memory. “And by the way, Lottie, Sugar mentioned you to her mother as well. She said you were married to a judge who’s about to go to prison. She said there’s a rumor going around that your boyfriend set him up. Oh, you’re the talk of the town. Isn’t that wonderful? You’re what Verity used to call popular. Verity said there was nothing more important than being popular. And she said it was equally important to do whatever you needed to do to get there.”
“From what I know of Verity, I believe it.”
“Mom!” Evie shouts as she runs on over and Everett strides up after her. “I just hit four million followers. Like, this is totally surreal. You know what this means, right?” She nods to both Everett and me as he wraps an arm around my waist. “I’m going to have to quit school.”
“What?” we balk in unison.
“No way,” Everett says. “I’m putting my foot down. I’ll take that phone away before I let that happen.”
“I thought you wanted to go to law school,” I cry out to her on his heels.
“Nobody is taking away my phone,” Evie snaps at Everett as her chest pounds. Her eyes are wild as she stares him down with defiance. You’d think he just threatened to take her sanity away, and I guess in a way he did. Her screen lights up and her mouth falls open as she looks at it.
“What is it?’ I scuttle over and hold her wrist steady so I can catch a glimpse, but Evie slaps the phone to her chest. “It’s nothing.”
Everett growls, “Spill it or lose the device.”
Evie growls right back, “Fine! It was Verity, if you must know. And she was reminding me to snap a picture of my environment.”
“Verity?” Teddy sounds about as alarmed as I am. “Why, she wouldn’t say that. Verity would be much more interested in getting a picture of herself in there somewhere. The vain are vain well into the afterlife, too, you know.”
I nod her way. I’ve certainly witnessed a vain character or two who has crossed the earthly divide.
A group of girls circle around us.
“Did you say Verity?” one of them asks.
“Is she speaking to you from the dead?” another gasps.
“No way! She can talk to Verity!” a third shrieks, and before we know it, the entire bookstore has turned itself inside out.
Evie is swarmed by a gaggle of women, all clamoring to speak to Verity, and Everett pulls me to safety just as Noah appears and makes his way over to us.
“What did I miss?” He glances to that hub of bodies surrounding Evie. “Is she safe in there?”
“No,” I tell him. “I’m starting to wonder if any of us are safe.”
Teddy purrs at the sight of Noah. “Oh, he is a looker, Lottie. Why, you’ve got two. One for each arm, I suppose.”
She’s not that far off the mark.
“I see your arms are empty. I’d like to fill the void.” Noah flexes his dimples my way and I bite down on my lip to keep from giggling. Little does Noah realize he’s playing off of Teddy’s words. “How about I help you pick out a few spicy books to heat up your nights? In fact, I’ll be happy to read them to you if you like.”
Everett lifts his head a notch. “She doesn’t need you to read her a spicy bedtime story. She lives it with me.”
“That may be true, but I think we could all get a few good books to curl up next to the fire with. Plus, it’s a nice way to support a local business,” I say, leading us over to my mother’s table where my sisters flank her on either side and Josie sits on my mother’s lap like the miniature queen she is.
“About time, Lot.” Meg winks. She’s just a year younger than me, but she’s spicier by a mile. “What’s it going to be?”
“One of each of her novels,” I tell her.
“Same for me,” Everett says.
“Ditto.” Noah lifts a finger. “Hey, where’s my father?” He gives a curious glance around.
Lainey shakes her head. “Apparently, Cormack and Cressida won’t let him off the leash.”
Noah inches his head back as if he was incensed. “I guess that’s what he gets. On second thought, I’ll take two copies of each book, Miranda. It’s the least I can do considering my father is wreaking havoc in your life.”
Mom makes a face at the three of us. “Fine. But none of you are allowed to actually read these books. They were written for adults, you know.” She offers a sly wink our way just as Carlotta stretches her legs in this direction and the people who were in her line zip over to Bambi’s table, making it almost certain I won’t be getting a signed copy of her tell-all tonight.
“What do you mean they can’t read your book, Miranda?” Carlotta gives her a playful slap on the back. “These three have done things together that would make even a grown woman such as yourself blush.” She looks over at Teddy. “Now come here, cutie patootie, and give me some lovin’.”
I take a moment to glower at her. It’s as if she has no regard for our transmundane status anymore, or the status of her thinly veiled sanity.
“There’s nothing I’ve done that could make you blush,” I’m quick to inform my mother just as Teddy floats over to Carlotta. “Okay, so it’s a little bit true.” I cut a quick glance to both Noah and Everett. “But the three of us haven’t done it at the same time.” I shrug. “And I’ve already read your first three books, Mom.” Although, in hindsight, I shouldn’t have admitted it. Just the thought of her acting any of those scenes out with anyone makes my stomach turn. Speaking of which, I open my purse and pull out a savory snack just to take the edge off. “Fried pickle, anyone?” I ask after I’ve all but lopped its head off with my teeth, and surprisingly no one takes me up on the offer.
The evening wraps up quickly.
Evie takes off with Dash and their respective boyfriends.
Carlotta says something about getting Mayor Nash into one of those hot pink T-shirts, and my sisters take off with my mother.
But as for Noah, Everett, and me—we head to Mangias and plow through two large pepperoni pizzas. Okay, so I may have polished one off all on my own, but Everett was nice enough to take a bite out of it so that I could say we shared it. And afterwards, the three of us head to the movies to watch a shoot ’em up action flick.
What can I say? I let the men pick. Let’s call a spade a spade. I was just there for the popcorn, nachos, and soft pretzels—and maybe the gummy bears, Sour Patch Kids, and about three different bags of chocolate in different configurations that made their way to that never-ending pit I call a stomach.
The entire audience is sitting at the edge of their seats. You can practically feel the adrenaline coursing through the floor as we zip from one pulse-pounding scene to the next.
Try as I might to focus on the cult classic in the making, I can’t seem to put thoughts of the one person who just so happens to be without a pulse out of my mind.
Verity’s ca
se—those bizarre messages Evie has received and the thought of questioning Juliet Jackowski runs through my mind on a loop.
It all has me feeling so unsettled, frazzled, and just about jumping out of my skin.
Here’s hoping Everett can think of a thing or two to calm me down once we get home.
I have a feeling he’ll know just what to do.
Lottie
Everett and I finally get home to find the house dark.
“Evie must still be out with her friends,” I say as we come upon the porch and Everett swings the door open.
His eyes glint my way with the perennial mischief buried in each one.
“And there is no hint of Carlotta either. What a shame.” He flexes a dry smile.
“The whole house to ourselves?” I give a contrived gasp. “Whatever shall we do?”
Everett’s lids hood and his lips flicker with the glint of a wicked smile. “I can think of a few spicy things to heat up the night.”
“Oh, really?” I laugh. “I can’t believe you’re throwing Noah’s words at me,” I tease.
“He’s been known to have a few good ideas,” he teases right back as we dance our way into the house and Everett flicks on the lights.
“With the lights on?” I graze my teeth over my lower lip as he seals the door shut behind us.
“It’s better with the lights on, cupcake.” He pulls off his jacket in one smooth move and lets it drop to the ground behind him.
Pancake and Waffles, my sweet cats, let out a lazy mewl from the sofa.
I hitch my head their way. “I think they just said it would be rude of me not to play along.” My fingers work my own coat off and I toss it to the side.
Everett’s eyes never leave mine as he works the buttons of his dress shirt. That smile he’s too stubborn to give keeps threatening to curve his lips.
“Oh, Everett.” I kick off my shoes and pull the tent of a dress I have on off my body in one herculean move as he offers an approving nod my way.
“That’s my girl.” His eyes move slowly down my body, and it’s only then I realize I’m wearing my parachute panties.
So not sexy.
Darn it.
His shirt falls off and his expression is stern as he bears hard into my eyes. Everett plucks at his belt buckle, teasing me with the effort, and I let out a hard groan. He works his belt off achingly slow and a breath expires from me as he pulls it off, and it feels as if ten years have transpired in that practical, yet decidedly hot, action.
I lose those parachute panties and spring out of my bra, and before I know it, Everett closes the distance between us as we dance our way to the bedroom with teeth grazing up against one another, mouths hot with kisses. Everett flicks on the lights as we move deeper into the room.
A flash of light goes off.
A series of screams echo throughout the room, and Everett and I startle, only to find Evie, Dash, and those boys they have no business being in a bedroom with, right here in my bedroom!
Evie screams at the top of her lungs and I follow suit.
Conner—blond, built like a brick house, varsity football player—gags as he gets an eye full of me in my birthday suit glory.
“Aaah man!” Kyle—dark hair, tall and lanky, on the basketball team—throws his arm up over his eyes as if to shield himself from the sight of me.
“Hey!” I snip as I struggle to pluck a pillow off the bed and hug it in an effort to hide my nakedness.
“Oh God!” Evie yelps while staring at her phone. “I took a stupid picture, and it posted!” she shrieks while doing an odd little dance.
“Delete it!” Dash screams with just as much vigor.
“Lemon,” Everett barks. “Get the gun. I’m suddenly itching to do a little target practice,” he says as he lunges for those boys we’ve essentially caged into a corner.
By gun he means Ethel, the Glock he and Noah teamed up to buy me a while back so I could protect myself if need be. But I’m pretty sure it wasn’t meant to fend off teenage offenders taking up space with my daughter in my own bedroom of all places.
Both Conner and Kyle toss their hands into the air and let out a howl.
“Please don’t shoot, Judge Baxter.” Conner hops backward as if he were already trying to avoid a bullet.
“He’s gonna do it,” Kyle yelps to his buddy. “They’re already throwing the book at him. He has nothing to lose!”
Evie screams at the phone in a panic. “It’s parent porn!”
“Parent porn!” Dash parrots, and both girls sound as if they’re weeping at the top of their lungs.
“What’s this?” I stalk on over and pluck the phone from Evie long enough to see my face tossed back with a look of ecstasy on it and Everett’s lips coming for mine as he’s about to land a kiss over my mouth. You can see far too much of my décolleté and we both look naked even though technically I’m the only one who committed to that whole aforementioned birthday suit predicament. “GAH! Delete this!” I scream.
“We can’t!” Evie shouts with a look of rife anger on her face as she snatches the phone right back. “You both just ruined my life, thank you very much!”
“What do you mean you can’t delete it?” I try to snatch the phone once again and she holds it up high before both she and Dash scuttle over to my dresser.
“About a thousand different people have already taken a screenshot. Everything I do is closely monitored. Don’t you know how the world works?” Evie whines. “We have to do some serious damage control.”
“Yeah,” Dash snips at me. “She’s got, like, five million followers.”
Everett lets a few expletives fly.
“Don’t start with me, Dad,” Evie riots. “I need hashtags. Come on, Dash. Don’t just sit there!”
“Hot judge, hot baker?” Dash gives a frenetic nod as she says the words.
“Hot judge, hot baker?” I ask as I turn to Everett, but before he can say a word the sound of water sloshing from the bathroom garners our attention and out comes a couple of dripping wet, birthday suit wearing, champagne bottle wielding—sanity stealing thieves for lack of a better phrase.
A shrill scream tears through my throat and the rest of the room joins right along with me.
Footfalls speed this way and Noah jumps into the room with his weapon drawn.
“Everybody freeze!” His eyes bug out as he does his best to take in the scene with the shivering jocks in the corner, Evie and Dash mumbling something about hashtags near the dresser, me with my pillow, Everett with his pants half off, and let’s not forget Carlotta and Mayor Nash wrinkled to oblivion and I’m not entirely sure it has all that much to do with the fact they just got out of the bath.
“Son of a biscuit.” Noah closes his eyes a moment too long.
“Don’t lose momentum,” Everett growls at him. “Shoot the little gnats cowering in the corner. I’ll vouch for you when you say you thought they were intruders.”
Noah frowns as he puts his weapon back into his holster, and both Conner and Kyle fly past us faster than a couple of apparitions.
A scratching sound comes from the direction of the bathroom, and I look to find an adorable yet dripping wet koala bear coming this way.
“What’s all the to do going on in here?” Teddy asks as she shakes out her dripping wet fur. “Lottie? Mind if I help myself to your cupboards? I always get a hankering for something to munch on after a good swim,” she says as she floats right through the wall and out of the room before I can answer.
“Sure, why not.” I toss my hands in the air and lose my pillow. And suddenly, I’m wishing I could float through a wall myself. Or the floor, or the ceiling. Now that would have really given those boys something to scream about.
Mayor Nash trots my way. “Let me get that for you.” He bends over with his rear to my face and a tiny yelp emits from me. I can never unsee that. “Don’t mind us. We were just celebrating Carlotta’s big Vermont best-seller status.”
“Thank you,” I sa
y as he hands the pillow my way, and I’m back to using it like a rather useless shield.
Carlotta steps up and hands Mayor Nash a towel. “I knew the three of you had a few wild moves left in ya before the kiddo gets here. Nice maneuver with the weapon, Foxy. Real macho.” She takes a look at Everett. “If that whole judge thing doesn’t work out, the Ladies Lounge is always looking for fresh meat. And you, Evie Stevie”—she turns toward the girls still hovering feverishly over their phones—“nice try, but Harry and I heard every word. Teaches you a lesson for trying to scare off a couple of naked boomers. Maybe you’ll think twice before messing with your elders. And for your information, we prefer to call ourselves the Shockwave Generation.”
“Or the Pig in the Python,” Mayor Nash adds, and Carlotta swats him for the bizarre effort.
“Consider yourselves shocked by the wave of greatness before you,” Carlotta says as she threads her arm through his.
“Okay, boomer,” Evie bleats, her eyes never lifting from her screen as she and Dash walk right by us as if nothing happened at all.
Mayor Nash leans my way. “You’re looking good, kid. That belly is getting really big. I bet you’re ready to pop. When are you due? Next week?”
I frown over at him. “I’ve got another month, but thank you. I think.”
“Night, kids,” Carlotta winks our way. “Try not to let things get out of hand this time. Foxy, lose some stitches before Lot Lot loses interest.” She pokes Everett in the ribs. “You’re built like a rock. Don’t say serving a little time didn’t do you any good. Think of how ripped you’ll be after a decade or three?”
I wait until they clear the threshold before sighing. “And that, folks, is the genetic material I’m passing down to my child.”
Murder in the Mix Boxed Set 28-30: Cozy Mystery Page 55