A croaking sound emits from Carlotta. “What about me? Didn’t anyone think to ask if I wanted to be included in on that good time?”
Everett pulls out his phone. “Actually, Miranda mentioned that she was trying to get in touch with you. She said you blocked her calls.”
Carlotta straightens and gags. “The woman gave me no choice! She kept wanting to know insider secrets on how I made the Vermont’s best-sellers list. She wants me to give her writing tips. She wants me to look over her work. I can’t just go blabbing all my best-kept secrets to everyone out there, or soon every writer in Vermont will be on that best-sellers list and it won’t mean a thing.”
“I’ll bite,” I say. “What’s your secret?”
“Whiskey.”
“Good to know,” I say. A rustle comes from down the hall from the room that will be the nursery, and I look over at Everett. “When’s the baby shower?”
“Three weeks.”
“Three weeks?” I inch back. “That’s next month. Why the delay? Lottie’s due next month, too.”
“She’s due at the end of next month,” he says. “Miranda thinks there will be plenty of time. Besides, she was having a hard time choosing a venue, so I told her she could have it here or at the bakery if she needed to. She’s not sure she can book the B&B.”
Carlotta snorts. “Three weeks, eh? I’ll tell you why they delayed it. That buys Miranda three extra weeks to try to hack into my laptop. The woman is relentless.”
“Carlotta.” My cheeks flicker. “I hardly think Miranda poses a cyber threat to you.”
“What do you know?” She steps in close. “I bet you hardly thought Sexy posed a cyber threat to you, and now look who’s been sentenced to a life without fun bags?” She leans in another notch. “Worse yet, someone else is playing with your fun bags.”
“Mom!” Evie shouts as she heads this way with both Pancake and Waffles in her arms. “They’re talking about your boobs. Hurry up before I stick my head in the sink and drown myself.”
Lottie waddles out of her bedroom and tosses a stack of sheets onto the dining room table.
“Carlotta,” she hisses. “Are you telling lies about my boobs again?” She makes a face at me. “Noah, my nipples are not the size of dinner plates.”
I invert my lips to keep from laughing. “She didn’t say a thing about dinner plates.” My eyes drift south of her face for a moment, and suddenly I’m hungry for dinner.
Evie hands Pancake to Lottie. “She called them fun bags.”
“Carlotta!” Lottie’s eyes bug out before she forces a smile at Evie. “Boobs are not playthings for boys. They’re functional. They’re specifically designed to feed infants. In fact, speaking of which, I sprang a leak two days ago.”
“You sprang a leak?” I ask, not sure what level of terror I should feel over this.
She nods. “Dr. Barnette said not to worry. My milk has just come in early. It’s totally common, but it hasn’t happened since. There’s nothing to worry about, Noah.”
“Uh-huh,” Carlotta muses. “Nothing to worry about, Foxy, because she’s got Sexy to stop up that leak. She’s got a live-in plumber right there in her bedroom. See there? That’s where letting down your guard gets you. You never should have let the two of them cross paths. Word of advice: I’d block Sexy’s number before it’s too late.”
“Duly noted,” I say as I frown over at the self-appointed plumber among us. “Although, in all fairness, Lottie didn’t meet Everett because of me. If I really wanted to unravel the fact they crossed paths, I’d have to arrange for her to never have met her old landlord who dragged her into court to begin with.”
“Eh.” Carlotta’s shoulders jump. “This is Lot Lot we’re talking about. I’m sure she would have landed before a judge sooner or later.”
“Touché.” I nod.
“Touché indeed.” Everett nods along with me.
“Hey.” Lottie swats us both on the arm. “Never mind me or my leaky fun bags. Evie, what does the text say?”
Evie takes a hard breath before handing me her phone. “They’re, like, creepy.” She shudders. “You read them, Uncle Noah.”
A series of messages pop up, and I read the first one.
“The show is over,” I say. “Payment is due.” I exchange a quick glance with Everett and Lottie.
“What’s the next one say?” Lottie pants the words out, and I can tell this is already more than she needs to deal with.
This one is even more cryptic than the last, and I cringe at the thought of having to read it out loud.
“I know where you live,” I say it low. “I know who you care about. Hashtag hot baker, hot judge, hot cop.”
Lottie gasps and Everett’s jaw redefines itself in anger, but my eyes flit right back to the screen at that final message I have zero desire to verbally convey.
Evie nods. “Go on, Uncle Noah.”
“There’s more?” Lottie does her best to peer over, and I pull the phone close.
“There’s one more.” I shoot Everett an unsure look, and his eyes harden over the phone.
Everett is a smart guy. I bet he knows exactly where this is going.
“Don’t just stand there.” Carlotta practically jumps out of her skin. “Read on, Foxy.”
“Okay.” I take a breath. “Last one says, It’s time to stop riding on my coattails. Tell your followers you’re quitting, and encourage them to quit, too. Close this account. Close all of your social media accounts. You’ll have a new brother or sister coming into your life soon. If you care at all about keeping them safe, you’ll do a complete social media shut down tonight. Final warning. I am coming for you. Those who don’t listen, swim in a pool of blood.”
“They threatened the baby.” Lottie’s panting picks up as she grips me by the arm. “Noah, this is dangerous.”
“Duh.” Evie plucks the phone from my hand. “But Verity is dreaming if she thinks I’m quitting social media.” She stalks off to her bedroom with Waffles in tow.
“What do we do?” Lottie wraps her arms around her belly.
“I’ll handle it.” Everett takes a breath.
“Come on, Lot Lot.” Carlotta attempts to navigate Lottie toward the kitchen, but Lottie is proving immoveable. “There’s still a whole other bucket of Pickin’ Lickin’ Chicken left. I’ll even let you have the leg.”
“I’ve lost my appetite,” Lot whispers.
Carlotta huffs, “That’s easy to say after you’ve gulped down two free range chickens all by your lonesome.”
I look to Everett. “How the heck are we going to figure out who’s sending these messages?”
“It’s not Verity,” he says. “I can guarantee you the so-called GPS in that phone isn’t going to coordinate to a grave. Whoever did this, either had access to Verity’s account to begin with or they knew enough about Verity to hack into it.”
“I know all of Lottie’s passwords,” I tell him.
“So do I.” His brows hike a notch.
“Hear that, Lot?” Carlotta elbows her on the arm. “They’ve got your number. They know exactly how to push your buttons. And after listening to Foxy cry about your fun bags, he’d love to have five minutes pushing a few leaky buttons, too.”
“Wait a minute”—Lottie wisely chooses to ignore Carlotta’s remark—“if we go along with that thinking, regarding the passwords, then I bet there’s a very good chance Chad Harris knows how to hack into any of Verity’s social media accounts, and that includes Insta Pictures.”
Everett nods. “We’ll track Chad down tomorrow and make him talk.”
Carlotta turns my way. “What about the social media conglomerate Evie’s got cookin’? You’re not gonna make her shut it down, are ya? She’s been hocking my book and increasing my sixteen through twenty-five-year-old fan base. If she shuts down the Insta show, it’s liable to cost me money.”
Lottie frowns over at her. “It’s liable to cost my baby its life.”
“It’s not costing any
one anything,” I tell them. “Whoever this is, I’m about to shut them down for good. Nobody threatens my family. It’s in my hands.”
“I feel better already.” Carlotta links arms with Lottie and navigates her toward the kitchen. “Come on, Lot. Let’s stuff our pie holes with mashed potatoes and gravy.”
“Sounds good,” Lottie says. “We can pile the mashed potatoes on that chocolate cake from Lava Java.”
“And put the gravy on the brownies,” Carlotta counters.
Lottie pats her on the arm. “Now you’re talking.”
Everett pulls me in by the sweater and glowers my way. “The last time you took things into your own hands it cost me plenty,” he seethes. “Don’t you dare make a move without me. There’s too much riding on the line this time. They could lock me up for a lifetime, but nothing can happen to that baby.”
I nod because he’s right.
“Fine. I won’t make a move without you.” I swipe his hand off my shirt. “I’m sorry I cost you everything.” My head turns toward the kitchen as I watch Lottie as she holds that precious bulge in her stomach, and how I wish I weren’t the one having to leave for the night. “You’ve cost me everything, too.”
I take off and herd away the crowd outside the doors until most of them take off.
Someone in this world is threatening to kill those I love the most.
And chances are they’ve already killed once.
This is one case I need to solve posthaste.
And I won’t rest until I do.
Next stop, tracking down Chad Harris. He’s going to cough up some answers, whether he wants to or not.
Nobody has a choice in anything anymore.
This ends now.
Before someone out there puts an end to someone I love.
Lottie
Noah and Everett made quick work of it and tracked down Chad Harris to the exact location he would be at tonight—the exact location we’re currently situated in as well, which just so happens to be a wedding.
Yes. A wedding.
As soon as Carlotta got wind of where we were headed, she decided to tag along, as did Keelie. They both claimed they were looking to make good on that bouquet toss. Not sure how that fares for Bear, but I’m guessing Keelie’s interest in the flowers has more to do with decorating her dining room table with a primo floral display than it does scoring another husband.
Every last one of us is dressed to the nines as we step into the back of the Fallbrook planetarium just in time to see the bride and the groom running down the makeshift aisle much to the applause of the crowd that’s gathered.
“Quick, Lottie, duck!” Keelie does her best to pull me out of the way just before the bride and groom can bolt right through my body.
The groom is dressed in a light gray suit and the bride has on a dove gray gown to match. Both are so lost in their laughter they hardly notice the fact a band of strangers just wandered onto the scene.
“Geez, Lemon.” Everett pulls me in close. “Who knew the happy couple would prove to be lethal as well.”
“Me,” Noah says, craning his neck into the crowd beginning to circulate.
It’s true. Noah warned me things could get dicey, but only as far as the suspect was involved.
The main hall at the planetarium is a spacious venue. The lights are dimmed and it enables the make-believe stars illuminated over the domed ceiling to sparkle and shine like the real deal.
“I see him,” Noah whispers. “Up by the stage.”
Sure enough, there’s a stage up front with a live band gearing up to get started as the staff works overtime to remove the ladder-back chairs from the room. It’s almost eight in the evening, and the crowd of well-dressed guests is already chattering away with jovial conversations as intermittent bursts of laughter fill the air.
I crane my neck toward the stage, and there he is with a gray ill-fitting suit—apparently a running theme in his life—but I’m guessing it has to do with those oversized muscles of his trying to squeeze inside his sleeves.
Light instrumental music begins to flow from the speakers as an entire army of waiters and waitresses set up what looks to be a buffet of appetizers.
“Oh, thank goodness,” Keelie groans. “I didn’t have time to eat dinner, and I’m half starved. I’ll need to get my energy up if I’m going to dance into the wee hours of the morning. Lottie, you don’t know how grateful I am for this getaway. I really needed a date night.”
“Glad I could help out.” I make a face because the real reason we’re standing here has to do with the fact a deranged killer is stalking my child. “Are you and Bear doing a little role-playing again?”
A couple of months back, Bear met us at a bar and pretended to be a mean executive from the North Pole, while Keelie played the part of the flirty head elf who had to save Christmas. Bear borrowed one of Everett’s suits without asking and almost got beat up by my handsome husband in the process, but as it turns out, a good time was had by all.
Keelie shakes her head. “I couldn’t find anyone else to watch little Bear, so Daddy’s got babysitting detail. He said we could role-play once I got home. I’ll be the cute burglar looking to rob the handsome contractor’s home, and he’s going to teach me a lesson.”
“Taking a page right out of my playbook, Keelie Nell.” Carlotta pats her niece on the back before taking in a sharp breath as she stares off at the buffet. “I see oysters and king crab legs. Come on, Keels. It’s time to get our seafood game on. Good thing I brought my big purse.” They take off without giving it a second thought, and I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that large platter of skewered shrimp and pineapple wasn’t calling my name. I’m about to drop a shrimp-shaped hint to the handsome steeds before me when a couple of all too familiar faces head this way. “Oh no.”
Noah and Everett turn in the direction I’m gawking at and they both straighten at the sight.
Not only are we staring down the barrel of Suze Fox, but striding up beside her is Serena Digby.
Suze has donned a floor-length beaded crimson dress that looks as if it’s weighing her down. Her short blonde hair swoops across her eyes, and that scowl of hers is accentuated with dark lipstick that matches her gown. Serena, however, looks light and airy in a black flowing gown. Her dark hair gleams like a raven’s feathered plume, and her eyes sparkle in this dim light like emeralds.
“Lottie Lemon.” Serena offers something between a frown and a smile my way before looking to Noah and Everett. “Hot Cop, Hot Judge.” She nods their way. “What’s happening here?”
“I thought this was the new location of our birthing classes,” I say, rubbing my belly. Thankfully, Lainey had given me a plum velvet maternity dress and I look somewhat fashionable, and somewhat like a house—a house that ate a small condo complex for breakfast.
Suze sneers my way. “Don’t listen to her, Serena. That was a weak attempt at humor. It’s clear they’re crashing your sister’s wedding.” She doesn’t bother hiding her disapproval as she looks to Noah. “I thought you said you learned your lesson and wouldn’t be following Essex into any more of his tomfoolery.”
“Following me?” Everett takes a step back as he examines Noah in this new light.
I can’t help but scoff over at my handsome hubby. “When you say it like that, it’s as if you expect me to be the one in charge of the tomfoolery around here.”
Neither Noah nor Everett says a single word.
Suze growls my way, “Well, if the broken glass slipper fits.”
I knew I would regret not letting her fry a few months back when I had the chance. It just so happens Suze was the prime suspect in a murder investigation, and I, of all people, helped prove her innocence. She has a funny way of saying thank you.
“Serena, I apologize for crashing your sister’s wedding.” I take a quick breath. “Everett was working on an early Valentine’s Day surprise for me, and I guess he thought the planetarium was open.”
“That’s right.” Evere
tt glides an arm around the back of my waist. “My sincerest apologies from us all. Unfortunately, Lemon and I rarely get a moment alone without having a few tagalongs come for the ride.”
Smooth.
It didn’t even occur to me to cover for the fact Noah, Carlotta, and Keelie were here. This kid really is munching on my brain.
Noah’s chest expands as he sheds an easy smile to Serena. “This was Everett’s version of a babymoon. Of course, I’ll be taking Lottie on a babymoon myself.” He points those dimples of his my way. “How does a trip to the lodge sound? Weekend after Valentine’s Day?”
Everett pulls his shoulders back. “Sounds like fun, sweetheart. Lemon and I will take the honeymoon suite. If you’re lucky, I’ll school you on the slopes.”
“Ooh”—I do a little hop while strangling Everett’s arm—“I bet Evie would love to come, too.” I nod to Suze. “She’s practically a world-class skier.”
“I couldn’t care less,” Suze huffs.
“Mom.” Noah dares to raise his voice to the woman who bore him. “You should care. Evie is my niece. I’d do anything for her.”
Suze smirks. “Would you do anything for me?” She waves someone over, and before we know it, we’re treated to Noah’s look-alike younger brother, Alex.
Noah and Alex look as if they could be twins in every way. And it just so happens that Alex runs a finance firm along with Meg’s boyfriend, Hook Redwood.
“Hey”—Alex laughs as that famed dimpled grin takes over—“if it isn’t all the hot stuff Honey Hollow can afford. Lottie, you look great.” He pulls me into a half-hug. “Are these two knuckleheads still making you nuts?” He slaps Everett on the back. “How’s my favorite brother?” He turns and gives a wink to Noah. “And you? Still unemployed, huh?”
Suze pins a false grin to her face. “They’re both unemployed. Apparently, that Hearst curse has bled over from their betrothed and into their own lives. You know, there is one way for the two of you to be free of it.”
“What’s that?” My heart pounds as I ask. Because Lord knows I would certainly like to be free of it myself.
Murder in the Mix Boxed Set 28-30: Cozy Mystery Page 62